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I really hope the O’Reilly Auto parts jingle is stuck in your head for the rest of the day like it’s been for me since I thought of the title. Damn you Austin Riley. Damn you shitty commercial. Talk about picking up right where he left off in AAA. Austin Riley has sprinted out of the gates in the race for National League Rookie of the Year. He’s got a lot of ground to make up if he’s going to catch Chris Paddack, but he’s certainly giving it the ole Major League try. In 38 plate appearances he has exactly 38 points. For those of you that don’t have a calculator nearby, that’s one point every time he steps into the batters box. And for those of you that are wondering if that’s good, well it’s better than good. As Tony the Tiger often said, it’s grrrrrreat! It’s only been 38 plate appearances, but if it’s any consolation, through 144 plate appearances in Gwinnett he tallied 156 points (1.08 PPPA). If he can come anywhere near close to keeping this up, he’s going to make Atlanta fans and fantasy owners extremely happy. Keep an eye in your rear view mirror Chris Paddack.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Cavan Biggio will be promoted today to join Vladimir Guerrero Jr. Soon, Bichette will join Guerrero and Biggio and the Jays’ master plan to reunite the 2005 All-Star Game in the luxury boxes will be complete.  “How’s Darin Erstad Jr. look?”  “More like Darin Ersatz!”  “I don’t get it.”  “Ersatz means an inferior substitute.”  “Is that some thinking man’s humor? I don’t like that.”  That was overheard in the Jays’ front office.  Here’s what Prospect Mike said about Biggio this preseason, “At 23, Biggio had a solid 2018 campaign at Double-A. He hit .252 with 26 homers, 20 steals, and a walk rate of nearly 18%. He has the pedigree and patience to make it in the pros and the power to hit 20-25 homers, but he also strikes out a lot and I’m not sure what position he’ll end up at. This could mean he ultimately finds a role as a super-utility type like a Swiss Army knife. Speaking of which, anyone know where Grey is, I want to harvest his liver.”  Okay, what now?  This year, Biggio cut down on his Ks, and held his walks, hitting .306 in Triple-A, while adding in his usual mix of power and speed.  I imagine he takes over for Sogard and hits leadoff. Sogard? So long!  I added Biggio everywhere I could because I have a sickness for upside.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

The Braves called up Austin Riley this week, which is news to the guy in your league who went into shock when he realized he drafted Travis Shaw, Ender Inciarte and Rougned Odor in all leagues.  That person sounds suspiciously like me.  The Braves sharted Super Two Status as one might shart it when they can just sign Riley to a ten-year deal worth $45,000 annually.  As someone who is paid in pennies from advertisers, that sounds pretty Eflin good.  If you notice in the video at the top of this post, Riley is Anime Grey’s Buy, and that needs to be animated about a week ahead of time, so I was thinking about this Buy for some time now.  I was spurred on by Prospect Mike’s Austin Riley post last Sunday, when he alerted me that the Braves began to play Riley in the outfield.  As they say in any rest stop bathroom, the writing’s on the wall and someone’s about to get it in the rear, Ender.  In Triple-A, Riley hit 15 homers in only 37 games (144 ABs), and looks capable of 30+ homers in the majors.  Even the conservative-with-rookies Steamer projects him for 25 homers on the Prospectonator.  Ender might return at some point; Riley could slump; your degree from a liberal arts college where you majored in Wingdings font could be helpful, but for now Ender’s garbage; Riley should be owned; and you’re only qualified to work at Buffalo Wild Wings.  Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Sorry, but first I must purge myself of all Yu song references.  If you don’t like that, Yu Can’t Always Get What Yu Want, but, if Yu try, Yu might get what Yu need, because all Yu Need Is Love, and I Wish Yu Were Here.  Yu Give Love A Bad Name, but I’m gonna Run to Yu.  Even if Rick rolled, I’m Never Gonna Give Yu Up, and shut don’t go up, but Yu do. Yu Take My Breath Away when Yu pitch well, but Yu Never Give Me Your Money, which makes sense since Yu Don’t Know Me.  Without or Without Yu Yu (stutterer!) can put together a solid rotation, but Yu Light Up My Life when it’s the Best of Yu. Have I Told Yu Lately he needed to cut down on his walks? Yesterday, he went 5 1/3 IP, 2 ER, 5 baserunners, 11 Ks (zero walks!), ERA at 5.14, and I Know What Yu Did Last Summer (disambiguation: song), but what about now? Don’t Yu (Forget About Me).  Did the Rangers closer, Chris Martin, Fix Yu? Remains doubtful, but no walks is Arthur’s Theme (Best Yu Can Do).  Any hoo!  Yu Darvish might’ve been dealing with a mechanics issue, and maybe now that’s fixed.  He does have a near-12 K/9, the only bugaboo is his 7+ BB/9, but if he can tame that he immediately shoots to at least a number two, and stops plopping out number twos.  Do Yu Understand (ft Tory Lanez & Gunna).  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

You hear that? It sounds like the Angels may actually be forming a respectable lineup around the best player in baseball. Over the past few years critics have rightfully been pointing out that Trout’s prime years have been going to waste due to lack of a supporting cast. The Angels still have a ways to go if they want to fulfill our wish of seeing the best player of this generation back in the playoffs, as his lone appearance in 2014 isn’t enough. However, as of late his supporting cast has been putting forth some under-the-radar production to help the Fish Man out. Ohtani’s 2019 debut was much awaited to help give Trout some additional protection, and the Angels have won 5 of their 8 games since his return to the lineup.

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Yesterday, the Indians called up Oscar Mercado, after a hilarious bit where they phoned their Triple-A team and asked to speak to Oscar and they were met with, “The Oscar Mercado called and said they’re out of you!”  The Indians have now cornered the mercado on Oscars like Meryl Streep.  Mercado has speed to burn. He is so fast he just ran into your room, mussed your hair and ran back out before you even had a chance to flinch, which is great because you’re secretly being filmed for the new Netflix game show, Flinch.  Mercado had one season in the minors with 50 steals.  I just became aroused like Lorenzo Lamas after he sees himself in the mirror.  Prospect Mike said of him, “Mercado came to Cleveland from St. Louis at last year’s trade deadline in a move that probably slipped under everybody’s radar. He had a crazy good season in Triple-A though, hitting .278 with eight homers and 37 steals.  Caveat:  Grey is dumb.”  What?  That’s not a caveat. I grabbed Mercado in a few leagues, because I could use steals, and, brucely, who doesn’t need steals?  Not to answer, but bat your eyelashes and look pretty. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Was Yordan Alvarez indeed called up? Allow me to clear things up. He’s not. At least not yet. Despite leading AAA in home runs (14) and runs batted in (44) and boasting a .398 batting average, Yordan Alvarez appears no closer to Houston than the next Astros prospect. Speaking of Astros’ prospects, there’s also the problem of Kyle Tucker, who is a more heralded prospect. Unlike Alvarez, however, Tucker is having a rather mediocre start to 2019. He has hit a fair share of homers, but that’s about it. Considering Tucker already struck out in his first taste of the Majors, I’d say Yordan has the edge should a need arise on the Astros roster. And that brings us to the real problem. The Astros roster. In order to get Alvarez on it with regular playing time they’d have to expose either Tyler White, Max Stassi or Tony Kemp to waivers and I don’t believe they are ready to do so. Couple that with the fact that the Astros offense is near the top of many categories, there just isn’t a place for Yordan Alvarez. Sadly, many (myself included) see mid to late June as a more realistic timeline for a call up. For what it’s worth, I stashed him two weeks ago. Hopefully we are all wrong and he’s up sooner.

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Jacob deGrom.  That almost says it all.  Sure, he’s 2-4 with a 3.60 ERA this year on the whole.  But in the month of May he is back to his dazzling self: 1.24 ERA, 13 Ks, 3 BB in 14 innings.  And if that wasn’t enough, he’s toeing the rubber against the 30th ranked run scoring team in the majors.  Not only are the Florida Marlins the 30th ranked offense, they’re a full 20 runs behind the 29th ranked Detroit Tigers.  That’s worse than the lazy plot devices going on in Game of Thrones!  The Marlins are so bad, and deGrom is so good, the Mets are favored at -410.  A whole season goes by and you don’t see a line like that.  He’s expensive ($11,300), but there is no surer thing on FanDuel this year than deGrom against the Marlins.  Of course, there’s more than one way to skin a FanDuel lineup, so on to the picks.

New to FanDuel? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well, be sure to read our content and subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays. Just remember to sign up through us before jumping into the fray. It’s how we know you care!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Since Game of Thrones is out here messing up the last seven years of my life by landing the final season like it’s Oceanic Airlines Flight 815, I figured I’ll drop on you a buy for Ryan of Mountcastle.  What if the end of Game of Thrones is that they take a page out of Lost’s book, but take it one step further?  That’s right, the end of Game of Thrones is we’re the ones living in purgatory by watching another great show screw up its ending.  I might’ve just spoiled two shows in one go.  We shall see!  Actually, we might not because the scenes will be too dark.  As for Ryan Mountcastle, he should be called up any day now to play 3rd for the Orioles, but why do we care?  Thanks, awkward leading question!  This isn’t because buyin’ Mountcastle sounds like a new HGTV show.  “What’s his defense like?” “Like an Italian hill town in Tuscany!”  He has solid power, and should make contact while not having great plate discipline.  At some point in the very near future, he’s going to be an add in all leagues, so get ahead of the curve, like if you had dragons, and knew how to use them and weren’t going mad in the last ninety minutes of a poorly-paced show.  Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Finally Friday! FanDuel has us set up with a huge 14-game slate, and for once this week, we look to be in the clear on the precipitation front. Can we talk about just how much an ace Luis Castillo ($10,500) has been? He’s sporting a 30.3% K%, which is supported by his massive 14.9% swinging strike rate. I’m going to go out on a limb and say he probably doesn’t maintain his 1.97 ERA all year, but his 3.51 SIERA is solid. Finally, on the batted ball front his ground ball rate is 57.8%, which leads the league. Add to his greatness, that he gets the perfect matchup against the Giants in Oracle Park. Now you know that Luis Castillo’s my go-to starter in cash games today, so let’s take a look at some other plays on today’s FanDuel slate.

New to FanDuel? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well, be sure to read our content and subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays. Just remember to sign up through us before jumping into the fray. It’s how we know you care!

Please, blog, may I have some more?