With these top 100 starters for 2017 fantasy baseball, I’ve finished our (my) 2017 fantasy baseball rankings for positions. Still coming will be a top 100 overall and top 500 to see how all the positions mesh together like your mesh Redskins jersey that meshes with your burgundy sweatpants. Trust me, when you see how long this post is, you’ll be glad I kept this intro short. As always, my projections are included, and where I see tiers starting and stopping. If you want an explanation of tiers, go back to the top 10 overall and start this shizz all over again. Anyway, here’s the top 100 starters for 2017 fantasy baseball:
81. Dylan Bundy – This tier started in the top 80 starters for 2017 fantasy baseball. This tier ends at Triggs. I called this tier, “Grey’s upside your head.” It feels like we’ve been waiting forever for Bundy to break out, but he’s not out until you count to five, and, really, he’s barely on two now. He only has 111 1/3 IP in the majors, and a 8.4 K/9 in that time, and he’s only 24. If he broke out this season and was good for the next five years, he still wouldn’t be 30 years old. This is all moot like Helen Keller if he doesn’t break out. 2017 Projections: 11-9/3.91/1.35/130 in 141 IP
82. Luis Severino – There’s no truth that Welcome Back Kotter in Latin American countries dubs Vinnie Barbarino’s name out for Luis Severino. Fake news! There is truth that Severino has never pitched for more than 71 IP in a major league season, but he’ll be 23 years old this year and he pitched nearly 151 IP across three levels last year, so he could conceivably pitch 180 IP this year in the majors. Innings-schminnings! What about Ks and ERA and that crap?! Well, he throws 96 MPH and regularly topped 9+ K/9 in the minors. He could easily break out this year, though that feels about a year away. 2017 Projections: 10-10/3.94/1.34/143 in 155 IP
83. Jharel Cotton – The bad news, he had a 4.90 ERA with a .268 BABIP (not unlucky) in Triple-A for the Dodgers in 97 1/3 IP. The great news, he pitched extremely well for the A’s in Triple-A (2.82 ERA in 38 1/3 IP) and in the majors (2.15 ERA in 29 1/3 IP). The best news, right before you draft him, in your draft chatroom you can say, “Wait, it’s a Cotton-picking moment!” 2017 Projections: 7-10/3.72/1.21/141 in 157 IP
84. Trevor Bauer – He doesn’t quite fit in this tier, because I don’t know how much upside he has left. I mean, he has a 4.42 ERA in 552 1/3 IP in his career. Cat’s kinda out of the bag, and that cat is feral with foreknowledge of your greatest weaknesses, like hearing the word ‘moist.’ But Bauer is only 26 years old, so maybe there’s something more here. 2017 Projections: 11-12/4.01/1.33/163 in 177 IP
85. Andrew Triggs – The things going for Triggs (Trings? Thinggs?) are his peripherals last year. 8.8 K/9, 2.1 BB/9, 3.29 xFIP and an over 50% on his ground ball percentage looks like sleeper material waiting to happen. There’s a few warnings signs on Triggs (Triggser Warnings?). His fastball only hits 90 MPH, and this all came out of nowhere. He could be a good Keuchel or he could be an awful Keuchel, but worth the flyer to find out. 2017 Projections: 9-11/3.86/1.25/130 in 144 IP
86. Jose Berrios – Not sure if Berrios’ rookie year could’ve gone much worse. He ended with a walk rate (5.4) that makes Francisco Liriano blush, and Liriano isn’t particularly bashful, as his awful years show. “I put the DG in DGAF.” That’s Liriano. There’s still lots of upside here with Berrios, but it could be another year away, or at least a half year. UPDATE: Won’t make the Twins’ rotation. Berrios should change his name to “Tyra GIF.” We were all rooting for you, man. 2017 Projections: 7-10/4.12/1.36/112 in 124 IP
87. Jose De Leon – This is a new tier. This tier goes from here until Stephenson. I call this tier, “Your joie de vivre is a contagious rash in the shape of the Indonesian islands.” I love that you draft the guys in this tier. They are sexy AF. Kudos, not the chocolate bar, to your risk-taking, throw-caution-to-the-wind wildness. I bet you ride a motorcycle, not in the rain though, that’s just crazy. None of the guys in this tier will likely start the year in their team’s rotations, but in shallow leagues or dynasties, they’re decent enough flyers. Just know in the shallow leagues, you might need to drop one of them by the end of March. As for De Leon, already gave you my Jose De Leon fantasy. It was written before his trade to the Rays, but doesn’t change a lot. I still don’t see him starting the year with the major league club, and his “good division to pitch in” becomes “Aw, that kinda sucks.” His stuff still plays wherever and I look forward to grabbing him as soon as he’s promoted to the majors. 2017 Projections: 9-4/3.57/1.18/128 in 135 IP
88. Lucas Giolito – Here’s what I said this offseason, “(Giolito) went the other way in the Eaton trade. I’ve already gave you my Lucas Giolito fantasy, and 95% of it still holds. You need to throw out the Dusty Baker hazarai, and the NL East became the AL Central, which isn’t great, but now Giolito has a clearer path to a starter role. There’s talk he could be in the White Sox rotation out of the gate, but he can’t exactly throw a full season yet, so I picture him being held down until June.” And that’s me quoting me! 2017 Projections: 5-4/3.67/1.27/97 in 105 IP
89. Scott Kazmir – “Okay, okay, okay! Skunk skin condoms were a bad idea, as well! I get it! But these Dollar Store condoms will be different! What are they? Armadillo skin. What? No good?” Kazmir is similar to Nova, he could put it all together and have a huge year in the NL West. There’s about a hundred reasons why he won’t, but he’s always had the ability. UPDATE: He’s already injured, which is lowercase shocking. 2017 Projections: 8-4/3.64/1.23/113 in 122 IP
90. Zack Wheeler – “You were right, is that what you want to hear? Armadillo skin condoms were an awful idea. These new ones are great though! Chameleon skin…Check ’em out. Wait, did I put it on?” Hey, if Lance Lynn can be safe, so can Wheeler, right? The good news, Wheeler’s arm is going to be fresh going into 2017. The bad news, he hasn’t pitched in the majors since 2014. UPDATE: Wheeler’s already complaining of elbow soreness. Weird from a Mets starter, if weird’s actual meaning was its inverse. 2017 Projections: 5-4/3.89/1.37/88 in 91 IP
91. Eduardo Rodriguez – This tier could’ve also been called, “Oh em gee, (insert pitcher’s name) was just called up! Who should I drop for him?” Then a start later, “I guess I should drop (insert recently called-up pitcher’s name), huh?” Your faith in Ed-Rod breaking out comes down to how little faith you have in Pomeranz or Wright. In 107 IP last year, Ed-Rod had a 4.71 ERA (decent peripherals though), so even if Ed-Rod pitches, there’s still more question marks than The Riddler’s leotards. 2017 Projections: 7-2/3.92/1.28/88 in 92 IP
92. Archie Bradley – Kinda in the same camp as Dylan Bundy only without a starting job. That camp is Camp Hopeyougivechubbee. 2017 Projections: 7-5/4.17/1.37/96 in 90 IP
93. Tyler Glasnow – Already gave you my Tyler Glasnow fantasy. I wrote it while exploring my pointy areas. 2017 Projections: 9-11/3.87/1.39/134 in 125 IP
94. Luke Weaver – Definitely someone I could see taking a flyer on at the end of drafts just on the outside chance Wacha, Leake, Lynn and/or Wainwright don’t make it out of March. It’s not like that’s a fourfecta (totally a word!) of health. 2017 Projections: 4-2/3.34/1.18/67 in 55 IP
95. Matt Strahm – If his starting rotation spot was guaranteed, I would’ve placed him in the top 80 starters. This tier, “I like the cut of your jib and breaking pitches, but I don’t think you’re going to start for enough innings to make a huge difference.” This is also the first tier where I hope I’m wrong and all the guys here get 150+ innings. As for Strahm, he could have a 10+ K/9 and a measly 2.5 BB/9, but he’s also the first starter where I’m projecting saves too. 2017 Projections: 6-2/2.78/1.08/74, 2 saves in 62 IP
96. Robert Stephenson – Right now, Stephenson has the Reds’ fifth starter job, but there’s a couple of guys that could wrestle it away in the spring: Cody Reed or Rookie Davis, who I believe is a young Player to be Named Later. Here’s what Prospector Ralph said this offseason about Stephenson, “Every year on New Year’s Eve my sister and I toast to each year being the year Pitbull disappears into obscurity. This is the way I feel about Stephenson’s prospect status. I’m sick of writing about him. He’s gone from universally a top 30 prospect to a player who looks destined for major league mediocrity. The stuff isn’t, and never has been, an issue. He mixes a nasty fastball that can touch the upper 90’s (even if he’s lost a little velocity over the past few seasons), with an above average curve, and a plus changeup that he’s refined into his best secondary offering. This all sounds great no? Yeah, until you realize Stephenson has no idea where he’s throwing, which is why homeboy is rocking a 4.2 BB/9 over 123 minor league starts. I’ve often said I feel Stephenson could one day be an elite bullpen piece, but the Reds will keep him in the rotation for now.” I just skimmed, but his sister is Eve? That’s rad! 2017 Projections: 7-11/4.34/1.44/97 in 109 IP
97. Clay Buchholz – This is a new tier. This tier goes from here until Tomlin. I call this tier, “Now I see why you wear only sweatpants.” By this tier name I mean, you draft these guys and you’ve given up on life. This tier is more attractive in deep leagues, like AL and NL-Only ones, where you need innings. As for Buchholz, here’s what I said this offseason, “The Phils have a game plan, and it looks a something like this: trade and/or sign washed-out AL East starters. Worked last year with Jeremy Hellickson, and now they’ve traded for Clay Buchholz. This is the first trade where I can declaratively state both teams won and I don’t even know who Josh Tobias is, the infielder the Phils sent to the Red Sox. Yes, I used declaratively. Watch out, reading comprehension! The Sox needed Buchholz off their team because they have a set rotation without him, and the NL East is about as good a landing place can be, even if Citizens Flank is slightly offensive-minded, and I don’t just mean the insults that rain down from the stands. “The only time the Phils ever strung three W’s together is with their website.” That’s a Philly fan. Buchholz looks to be in possession of all his pitches that he had when he had a 3.30 xFIP in 2015. Of course, those pitches couldn’t have looked more pear-shaped than last year with his 5.32 xFIP. Honestly, I think he could be anywhere from a 3.50 ERA pitcher to a 4.50 ERA one. Is he a mixed league starter? Maybe as a streamer, or if he starts off well, but, as they say in horse racing, not out of the gate. For NL-Only, I’m going to like him as a late-round flyer.” And that’s me quoting me! 2017 Projections: 8-10/4.07/1.31/117 in 145 IP
98. Sonny Gray – There’s no truth to the idea that I can’t like Sonny Gray just because of a frayed father-son relationship. Haters and the media have been misreporting this. Sad! Last year, when everyone else was saying to draft him, I told you to avoid him. This year I’m saying avoid him, but I have no more animosity for my boy. Now, there’s just apathy, which might be worst. A complete lack of “I care.” He could bounce back but it won’t be on my teams. The upside isn’t great enough for the risk. UPDATE: Out three weeks in the spring due to a strained lat. That’s an odd thing to find in one’s colander. Gray will miss Opening Day. I WILL?! Oh, this Gray, yeah, who cares. 2017 Projections: 8-10/4.03/1.32/127 in 160 IP
99. Drew Smyly – As I said after the Mariners’ trade of Mallex Smith for Smyly:
The Mariners actually making a good trade. FAKE NEWS!
— Razzball (@Razzball) January 11, 2017
As for Smyly, home runs are up across baseball, this is partially due to Drew Smyly. Not only did Smyly give up 32 homers in 175 1/3 IP last year, but he also toured the Costa Rican baseball factory and told the 14-year-old girls on the line to stop wrapping SuperBalls in stitches. This was according to a Frontline report on PBS. Smyly wasn’t hit that hard last year, so I’m guessing his homers will come down a bit and he’ll regain his surprisingly useful tag vs. spectacularly awful. UPDATE: Out for six to eight weeks with a flexor strain. This flexor strain thing feels like the new oblique, doesn’t it? Obliques are out, groin pulls 15 minutes ago, flexor strains are in. That’s the Jessica Shaw Report. If you get the Jessica Shaw Report joke, you’re old and gay. Okay, maybe you’re not old. By the way, if I had to choose between old or gay, well, let’s just say getting old sucks! 2017 Projections: 7-5/4.14/1.27/124 in 130 IP
100. Anthony DeSclafani – I should’ve named this tier — 7+ K/9, 2+ BB/9, could have a 3.20 ERA to a 3.80 ERA. A lot of these guys are going to come down to how well the ball bounces for them. Or how well the ball bounces when someone’s on base and Brandon Phillips misses a grounder right at him because he’s on the phone with his agent telling him to decline a trade offer. That might be too specific and only applicable for DeSclafani. UPDATE: Two MRIs + one elbow = Pork fried rice. Okay, math’s off there, but I’m not drafting him. 2017 Projections: 7-9/3.98/1.28/112 in 145 IP
101. Miguel Gonzalez – He has a career ERA of 3.80 in 118 games started, and if you hold him for longer than one game streams, you have more patience than me. Is patience a category in your league? If so, do you say, I love what he’s Slash’ing on Patience? 2017 Projections: 7-13/3.95/1.31/110 in 162 IP
102. Zach Davies – Lower the volume on your headset when J.B. grills me on my Davies’ ranking, there’s liable to be some high-powered screeching. Davies throws 89 MPH and has a 7 K/9, so, yeah, I have no idea what’s to like, except for NL-Only leagues where you just want innings eaters that won’t absolutely kill you (only partially maim you). 2017 Projections: 10-12/4.08/1.29/142 in 176 IP
103. Junior Guerra – He didn’t get a real chance to pitch in the majors until he was 31 years old, so there’s nothing Junior about Guerra. Waiting that long to pitch in the majors is a relatively rare scenario. He’s like a Latin Satchel Paige, I will call him Satchel Biblioteca. Bleh. In the story of his life, Guerra would be played by a Latin Dennis Quaid, so call him Jimmy Smits? Meh. How about Junior Smits? Yes! Junior Smits doesn’t have as many miles on his arm as other 32-year-olds will this year, but his fresh-off-the-lot arm still isn’t that tremendous, he’s basically a real world fifth starter who was lucky last year to have a 2.81 ERA. 2017 Projections: 11-9/3.97/1.33/132 in 154 IP
104. R.A. Dickey – Here’s what I said this offseason, “(Dickey) signed one-year deal with the Braves. In honor of the Braves signing R.A. Dickey, during his starts, Braves fans should tomahawk with a cock and balls. When this signing first went down, Prospector Ralph mentioned how we should pre-order the new book, “Cox to Dickey: The History of the Atlanta Braves.” And that’s me quoting me quoting Ralph! 2017 Projections: 9-13/3.86/1.33/158 in 205 IP
105. Bartolo Colon – Here’s what I said this offseason, “(Colon) also signed with Atlanta. Dickey/Colon sounds like an after-shower spray Lorenzo Lamas and The Situation would endorse.” And that’s me quoting me! 2017 Projections: 10-12/3.92/1.23/122 in 187 IP
106. Matt Andriese – Fun fact! In Italy, when trying on clothes, you do it in Andriese room. With the trade of Smyly, Andriese moved into the rotation. He’s the most average starter you can find. He’s so ‘neither here nor there’ he’s nowhere. If you put ‘Andriese’ into Waze, you get no directions. Go ahead, try it! 2017 Projections: 8-12/3.91/1.28/132 in 162 IP
107. Tyler Chatwood – Fun fact, Part 2! A Tyler Chatwood is porn for a woman that can tie a penis into a knot with her mouth like a cherry stem. Maybe I was still on a high from ranking Jon Gray in the top 40 starters, but I thought for sure I was going to rank Chatwood much higher than this. While his ground balls are interesting in Coors, he just doesn’t strike out enough guys to move my needle. Definitely not to move it into a knot. 2017 Projections: 10-12/4.12/1.35/132 in 180 IP
108. Tom Koehler – His command really went into the crapper last year, which makes sense for a guy named Koehler. 2017 Projections: 8-11/4.28/1.39/149 in 187 IP
109. Edinson Volquez – Here’s what I said this offseason, “Signed with the Marlins. Rather than trying to find someone with electric stuff to replace Jo-Fer, they just went with someone whose name sounds related to electricity.” And that’s me quoting me! 2017 Projections: 11-12/4.04/1.33/142 in 185 IP
110. Jesse Chavez – Here’s what I said this offseason, “Signed with the Angels. I’ve liked Chavez for a few seasons, and every year he’s in a rotation in the preseason then in the bullpen come April. If he’s still in the rotation come February, I’ll project him then, for now I’ll say, the Angels should give him a rotation spot.” That’s me copying and pasting me! So, here we are in February and Chavez still has a rotation job, so… 2017 Projections: 6-9/4.12/1.32/108 in 115 IP
111. Mike Leake – I imagine lots of fantasy baseballers (<–my mom’s term!) screaming this guy’s name this season, only not for good but for, “Why is Mike Leake in the rotation and not Alex Reyes?!” 2017 Projections: 10-11/4.23/1.30/118 in 165 IP
112. Wei-Yin Chen – He had a 5+ ERA in September and an elbow sprain last year. When I was looking at Wei-Yin, he kept dropping in my rankings and I’m pretty sure no one had a thumb on the scale. 2017 Projections: 9-11/4.21/1.26/125 in 156 IP
113. Steven Wright – I’m trying to figure out who will replace Steven Wright in July in the Red Sox rotation. Ian Kennedy? Matt Moore? Tyson Ross? Eduardo Rodriguez? Lenny Clarke? 2017 Projections: 10-6/4.27/1.32/112 in 142 IP
114. Josh Tomlin – Love the barely 1 BB/9 — he only walked 20 guys in 174 IP! Less exciting is just about everything else. Occasionally, I’ll come across guys who I’d like to face, and Tomlin, with his 87 MPH fastball, is one of them. Ooh! All-Star Game weekend idea! They should have a lottery for fans to see who gets to face Tomlin. Then they can mark off the field into different sections. Get the ball out of the infield and win a car, get the ball to outfielder depth and win a house, hit a home run and win a million dollars. Tell me you wouldn’t watch this. 2017 Projections: 11-12/4.23/1.22/103 in 165 IP
115. Dan Straily – This is a new tier. This tier goes from here until Gibson. I call this tier, “Apollo Creed in Rocky IV.” By this tier name I mean, there’s a chance with these pitchers to get two hundred of the worst innings you’ve ever seen. In deep leagues, innings are good, but lots of terrible innings is, ya know, not so good. As for Straily, there’s a recipe for a terrible pitcher that even a home cook can follow. Combine a terrible pitcher with regression and wait until the mixture starts to smell like fromunda cheese. Is it surprising that the Marlins traded for Straily? When you see most people project him for a 4.70+ ERA, no, it’s not surprising. At some point, peripherals and FIP and other goodies that have been around since the 1990s will make their way to the Marlins. 2017 Projections: 9-14/4.38/1.38/158 in 190 IP
116. Brandon Finnegan – What’s that? You’re thinking of streaming hitters vs. the Reds? Great idea, prematurely balding man! 2017 Projections: 9-13/4.43/1.40/167 in 188 IP
117. Jordan Zimmermann – He’s been receiving neck injections this offseason to curb pain he suffered from last year and, “He’s feeling good right now,” said GM Al Avila. Al Avila then said, “I’m not his catcher too. I know, that’s confusing.” 2017 Projections: 10-13/4.11/1.27/110 in 170 IP
118. Mike Fiers – If you and your co-manager (God?) somehow end up drafting this guy, I’d be singing, “We didn’t start the Fiers.” 2017 Projections: 10-11/4.22/1.32/141 in 176 IP
119. Homer Bailey – Perfect guy for this tier, because this tier is an Odyssey. As in, people quickly realize it was a total waste of time to read. 2017 Projections: 9-14/4.40/1.35/134 in 164 IP
120. Hector Santiago – I could see streaming some of the guys in this tier when the matchup is right. And then totally regretting that decision. 2017 Projections: 11-9/4.66/1.39/137 in 177 IP
121. Shelby Miller – This tier is typified by the feeling, “I own this pitcher and I wish his team would bump him from the rotation.” 2017 Projections: 7-10/4.24/1.39/105 in 130 IP
122. Martin Perez – “Should I start Martin Perez in a weekly league or middle reliever Joe Blanton?” “Blanton if you want more Ks.” “Oops, Blanton was just moved to the DL.” “I’d still go with Blanton.” 2017 Projections: 11-8/4.21/1.40/101 in 187 IP
123. Francisco Liriano – The King of Holy Crap I Left Him In My Weekly League Lineup, assuming Holy Crap I Left Him In My Weekly League Lineup were a monarchy. 2017 Projections: 9-15/4.59/1.45/154 in 148 IP
124. Jhoulys Chacin – Here what I said this offseason, “(Chacin) was signed by the Padres to a one-year $1.75 million contract. I wonder if Padres will now go out and find a hitter for under $2 million too. Say, Mark Trumbo for a week or maybe Yanique Solarte, Yangervis’ brother who works as a drag queen in Key West.” And that’s me quoting me! It’s effin’ pathetic the Padres best pitcher is Chacin. With Petco, all they needed to do was get a pitcher of, say, Colon’s caliber. Instead, they have the caliber bullet of a turd coming out of a colon. I also won’t buy into the “Petco is a hitters’ park” narrative until the Padres have one decent pitcher. 2017 Projections: 7-12/4.27/1.41/137 in 167 IP
125. Hyun-Jin Ryu – The Dodgers’ GM said Ryu will be in the rotation as their number three starter if his shoulder, groin, elbow, mid-back, lower back, upper back, neck, hand, foot, have I mentioned elbow, leg, torso, ankle, hamstring, oblique, butt cheek injuries are all healed. Through a translator, Ryu said, “I feel great.” The translator admitted later it was hard to verify Ryu’s words because Ryu was wearing a body cast. 2017 Projections: 4-2/4.49/1.34/77 in 97 IP
126. Patrick Corbin – Could have some Tyler Skaggs-type, two years removed from surgery resurgence, but his previous year was so egregious, with so few signs of anything, I’m going to reserve judgment on Corbin, but not draft him as a reserve. 2017 Projections: 8-8/4.34/1.42/146 in 162 IP
127. Kyle Gibson – How many innings would Gibson pitch for the Cubs? 35? Too many? How about for a 2nd tier team with playoff aspirations, say, the Astros? 65 IP? On the Twins, Gibson has averaged 174 IP in the last three years and has a 4.59 career ERA, and a 5.07 ERA last year. Your parity is a parody. 2017 Projections: 7-12/4.34/1.44/123 in 184 IP
128. Tyson Ross – This is a new tier. This tier goes from here until Musgrove. I call this tier, “Odds and near-the-ends.” These guys are all long relievers, high risk gambles and 5th starter candidates. As for Ross, the Rangers took a chance on him, signing him, after he had surgery to deal with thoracic outlet syndrome, which sounds like something that would affect the protagonist in The Metamorphosis. I’m not so sure that the Rangers will be rewarded for taking a chance on him. As Jon Niese learned the hard way, don’t stick your nose out for anyone! 2017 Projections: 6-6/3.81/1.35/93 in 102 IP
129. Garrett Richards – He had a tear of his UCL, which usually means Tommy John surgery, but rather than having the surgery, because, ya know, who the f*ck is Tommy John to tell me what to do? Richards had a stem cell procedure instead, where an individual’s fat or marrow is injected into the injured area. I love marrow, so that sounds delicious! If Richards can come back this year, he won’t pitch anywhere near 170 IP, but other pitchers may be lining up to try this procedure over Tommy John. The nickels Tommy John gets for every time someone has the surgery may quickly dry up. I want Garrett Richards to succeed if for no other reason than because I’m sick of talking about Tommy John surgery. I wanna talk about Garrett Richards’ Non-Evasive Procedure. That just rolls off the tongue! You know what else rolls off the tongue? Stem cells. As for fantasy, you’re crazy if you think I’m drafting Richards. Not to be all Jenny McCarthy here, but I wanna see how Richards does before I believe in the injections. 2017 Projections: 5-7/3.78/1.37/87 in 95 IP
130. Chad Green – This might be the first starter I’m ranking that has a better chance of getting five wins as a reliever than five wins as a starter. Right now, he’s in the Yanks’ rotation, but Luis “The Plane” Cessa could just as easily take over that role with Green moving into relief. More than likely they’ll split time in the pen and the rotation. 2017 Projections: 5-6/3.34/1.23/91 in 87 IP
131. Matt Wisler – I owned Wisler last year and remembered enjoying it, then I saw he had a 5.00 ERA last year and it goes to show you how fallible even the most mustachioed of memory can be. Did he even have one good start? Why the eff did I own this schmohawk? Oy gevalt! 2017 Projections: 5-7/4.24/1.31/86 in 102 IP
132. Jesse Hahn – Feels like the stereotypical prospect get by Beane in the last fifteen years. Looks to have promise, bounces around the majors and minors and then ends up on another team or in Japan. There should be an asterisk at the end of Moneyball with a five chapter explanation of how Beane went on to make fifteen years of terrible moves that disproves the entire preceding book. 2017 Projections: 4-5/4.31/1.41/64 in 98 IP
133. Nate Karns – As sorta mentioned in the Strahm blurb above, Karns is prolly more of a reliever. Karns has had his chain yanked repeatedly, and gone from a ~150 IP season to a reliever season more times than he should’ve considering his stuff. That still doesn’t mean it won’t continue to happen and, as of right now, Karns is projected for less than 100 innings everywhere I look, and that’s even after the untimely death of Yordano. 2017 Projections: 5-2/3.71/1.30/94 in 90 IP
134. Ariel Miranda – The difference between Ariel Miranda, and, say, Doug Fister? Ariel is younger. Ariel and a Fister does remind me of this Little Mermaid-inspired film I saw once. *thinking back* What were those mermen doing? *shudders* 2017 Projections: 4-3/4.17/1.30/71 in 98 IP
135. Joe Musgrove – If the Astros have any balls, they’ll give the 5th starter job to Musgrove over Charlie Morton. Though, if they start with Morton, they will lose balls over the fence, so they won’t have any balls for Musgrove. What a quagmire! 2017 Projections: 5-6/3.65/1.18/65 in 72 IP
136. Wade Miley – This is the last tier. This tier goes form here until the end of the list. I call this tier, “If the starters rankings are zaftig, these are the cankles.” This tier is guys that supposedly have starter jobs, but you should be streaming hitters against them. As for Miley, he’s actually the 4th best Orioles starter and that’s after getting rid of Yovani Gallardo. In related news, the Orioles need Dylan Bundy to pitch 220 IP of 2.75 ERA ball. 2017 Projections: 8-12/4.76/1.40/122 in 158 IP
137. Adam Wainwright – Last year, Wainwright called into a fantasy radio show to say he thought he was drafted too late, unhappy about going after Jon Lester. Well, if Wainwright can’t pitch in real baseball anymore, and he’s obviously no good at fantasy baseball, what’s next for him? Golf perhaps? 2017 Projections: 10-12/4.45/1.38/132 in 171 IP
138. Chad Kuhl – Has the lead for a spot in the Pirates’ rotation. As a yinzer Fonzie would say, Kuhl. 2017 Projections: 9-12/4.16/1.35/107 in 152 IP
139. Steven Brault – The other Pirates’ starter with a rotation job, though he could make way for Glasnow…or Wade LeBlanc…or Drew Hutchison…or someone who wins a contest held by the Pirates to fill-in a rotation spot while they obviously hold off promoting Glasnow. 2017 Projections: 7-9/4.34/1.42/119 in 135 IP
140. Matt Cain – I could’ve also listed here Chase “From The Game” Anderson, “B.C.C.” Sabathia, U-be-so-bad-o Jimenez, Derek “Kicked in the Nethers-land” Holland, James “We’re Gonna Need Bigger” Shields, Anibal “Gender Neutral” Sanchez, Charlie “Salt In The Wounds” Morton, Jason “We’re Out Of” Vargas, Kendall “One Foot In The” Graveman, Ricky “Both Feet In The Grave, Man” Nolasco, Phil “Loses” Hughes, Yovani “YoGa Is So Stressful” Gallardo, Andrew “Cashed Out” Cashner, Tyler “Not Chatwood” Anderson and Brett “Remote Control” Oberholtzer. They’re all rosterable in insanely deep leagues, and I feel bad for you if you have to go there. 2017 Projections: Bleh/Burp/Belch/Gas in Farts
