Please see our player page for Chad Kuhl to see projections for today, the next 7 days and rest of season as well as stats and gamelogs designed with the fantasy baseball player in mind.

Have you ever been to Staten Island? Shame if not. It’s one of the best boroughs. Imagine if they built a pizzeria on top of a garbage dump. That’s Staten Island. On Staten Island, there’s a Mother Mary statue on every lawn, as far as the eye can see. On each Mother Mary statue, there’s garland and Christmas lights. All year around. If you were to turn on all those Mother Mary Christmas lights statues together, you could see them from the moon. The electric bill would be a fortune too, about as much to cover the gabagool expenses for the entire borough. Anyway, you take all those Mother Mary Christmas lights statues’ electrical power, and you still don’t have the power of Vinnie Pasquantino and the sheer electricity he brings. In 69 games — hey now! — of Triple-A, he had 18 HRs and a 12.2% strikeout rate. What is he, a power hitter that’s gonna hit .280? Mama mia, that’s Italian! His walk rate (12.5%) was over his strikeout rate! *pinching the cheeks of Vinnie Pasquantino’s player page* You’re so handsome! With Carlos Santana being traded to the Mariners — figured Carlos Santana would’ve went for a last hoorah in Philly with Rob Thomson, but oh well — Vinnie Pasquantino is worth a flyer for power in all leagues. It’s Vinnie Pasquantino PaiSZN! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Kyle Tucker (2-for-5, 6 RBIs and his 6th and 7th homer) has three asses, because he’s — count them with me now — an unassuming assassin.

That photo of him brings me so much joy. He’s like, “I’m on your fantasy team? Okay, cool.” He looks like he just let out a fart, and only he knows it. Using one of his three asses, I presume. This Kyle Tucker assault was brought to you initially by Nathan Eovaldi (1 2/3 IP, 6 ER, ERA at 4.32) as he gave up five homers, all in the 2nd inning. Apparently, Manfred tried to work the 2019 ball back into circulation. Also, in this game, not simply Eovaldi — Nothan? Novaldi? Meh, maybe now’s not the time for portmanteaus — Yordan Alvarez (2-for-4, 3 runs) hit his 12th homer. Captain Woo Cubano gonna star in Dongs Just Wanna Have Fun; Yuli Gurriel (2-for-5, 3 runs, 2 RBIs) hit his 3rd, and 3rd homer in the last five days for the smoldering schmotato; Jeremy Pena (2-for-5) hit his 7th for a nice welcome-back-old-friend to the lineup and to the New England area (he’s from Are-Eye); Michael Brantley (2-for-5, 3 RBIs) hit his 3rd homer, and I just thought of something, everyone on the Astros is better than that former Astros player Carlos Correa. Bummer for him! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Woke up yesterday morning and Googled to see if there ever was a movie made called, Call Me By Your Mom with Timothee ChalaMILF, then Christian Yelich (4-for-5, 2 runs, 3 RBIs, 5th homer) hits his third cycle vs. the Reds. Could this be a coincidence or deja vu? Whenever I think of Yelich, I think of Mr. Redleg:


Excuse me! His name is Mr. Redlegs! Wait, am I talking about cojoined twins now? Co-Dick? Corey Dickerson did nothing yesterday (or all year). Yelich was an early season goof-up by yours truly. He looks markedly better than last year. I saw his sample size — hey now! — in the first two weeks and thought we were in for another long season of ground balls, but he’s actually improved. He’s hitting everything hard, and in the air again. Yelich might not be the Yelich of old — the top 10 overall Yelich — but he could easily be a low-end top 20 outfielder. Now, I’m off to see if anyone will invest in Call Me By Your Mom. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

While I may have taken some liberties with the spelling of the last name, can anyone tell me (without Googling) where my title comes from? I’ll give you a hint. The movie includes John Wick, Sodapop Curtis and Johnny Castle. But for now, let’s discuss Tylor Megill. Through five starts he is averaging 20 points […]

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Wish I could say Kevin Gausman‘s success this year will end forever, “(Pitcher’s name) is going to AL East, now you better be scared, right, Grey? Grey, tell me you’re supposed to be scared. Say that now. I beg of you! Tell me (pitcher’s name) going to the AL East is bad for him!” Grabs Aquanet hairspray and a Zippo lighter, threatening, “Tell me, Grey, or I will burn down your house.” Even with the NL getting the DH, something about a pitcher going to the AL East frightens guys more than hearing Amber Heard just ate Raisin Bran. Yesterday, Kevin Gausman went 7 IP, 2 ER, 6 baserunners, 10 Ks, ERA at 2.27. That’s now 41 Ks and zero walks to start the year. That’s the third most Ks to start the year without a walk since 1900 (only behind 2021 Corbin Burnes and 2017 Kenley Jansen). It doesn’t matter if a pitcher has two pitches, if one is unhittable like Gausman’s splitter, and it doesn’t matter what division a pitcher is in if he’s unhittable. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I was really pleased with how last week played out. Bailey Ober was the only guy who struggled, and it sounds like he wasn’t available in your leagues anyway. On the hitting side, Eric Hosmer was one of our best streamers of the season. Unfortunately, Miguel Sano went into hiding on the Twins bench while […]

Please, blog, may I have some more?

In November, White Sox front office contacts Eloy Jimenez to discuss his offseason conditioning, and he’s like, “Conditioning? Yeah, of course, I’m doing offseason conditioning,” then he looks in the mirror in his shower and smiles, hair filled with conditioner. Eloy Jimenez gets himself ready for each game with a very special pregame warm-up. He warms up and opens a button on his shirt. Warms up more, and opens another button. I was curious why Statcast said Eloy Jimenez’s exit velocity was “one to three weeks into each season,” but now I see what they meant. Seriously, though, what is going on?! Last year, he jumped for a home run ball that was 75 feet past his reach, and knocked himself out for months, and this weekend he strains his hamstring by running like an absolute madman through 1st base. Someone needs to pull him aside and be like, “Yo, my main man, you’re here to swing hard and hit homers. You can’t run fast, you don’t have Inspector Gadget arms to catch home runs. Just swing hard. That’s it.” I love this guy so much and he causes me so much pain. Almost as much pain as he causes himself. So, he will be out for six to eight weeks, and Tony La Russa will still find reasons to bench Andrew Vaughn! Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Freddie Freeman (1-for-3, 2 runs and 1st homer) wasted no time making the Braves regret the way they treated him this offseason. First at-bat, Freddie Freeman stepped towards the box, but first he asked to see the mic the umps use to announce the bad calls they make to the crowds. Freeman leaned into the mic and said, “Tell Acuña it’s mutual, I don’t like him either,” then took the 2nd pitch of the at-bat to deep left, the oppo taco as they call it in Mexico, and his first home run of the year was tagged. As he sashayed across the plate, he snapped and said, “Braves ain’t gettin’ none of this.” Snap! Speaking of which, what do you call every image of Freddie Freeman? Tooth pics. Take it, Highlights! It’s yours! Freeman sure has some teeth, right? The molar the merrier with that guy. Stop stop, he’s got fillings too! Okay, I will stop reading bad joke posters at a kiddie dentist now. So many games were postponed, but some still to go over, tooth be told. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

The last several weeks have actually shown us some rare late season clarity with respect to bullpens. Due to a combination of injuries and some pitchers taking control we have a bunch of newly minted full-time closers. In fact, some of the saves leaders in the last 14 days have come from teams well out of contention. This shows the importance of remaining active on the wire to find closer gems. Don’t let up as one save could be the difference between fantasy glory and a losing season.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

To say that trade deadline day was chaotic would be a drastic understatement. It’s easy to get lost in the moment when you’re in the midst of it, but that was one of the most impactful deadlines I’ve ever witnessed. While it definitely altered bullpens and lineups much more than rotations, it still left us with a lot of work to do, and it saw two of our recommendations from last week as some of those trade victims. The good news is that many great streamers opened up this week, and it has me ready to have another great week here. With that in mind, let’s talk about those guys!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Let’s get right to work this week, as I’m sure by the time I finish writing this I’ll have at least one more roster hole to fill in my deep leagues (sigh, that Lucas Sims/Sam Coonrod era on one of my NL-only teams didn’t last long).  Once again there’s probably not much to get excited about on the average deep-league waiver wire, but once again that won’t stop up from trying to come up with a few names that could be of interest to those of us in NL-only, AL-only, and other deep leagues.

Please, blog, may I have some more?