Please see our player page for Chad Kuhl to see projections for today, the next 7 days and rest of season as well as stats and gamelogs designed with the fantasy baseball player in mind.

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I don’t pay much attention to Spring Training Statistics.  You never know who the statistics are coming against.  Baseball-Reference did, however, have an amazing tool last year that attempted to quantify the quality of opposing pitchers or batters faced during spring training games on a scale from 1-10 with 10 being MLB talent and 1-3 being high A to low A level.  This tool is great, but it averages all the Plate Appearances or batters faced.  You would still need a deeper dive to see if your stud prospect smacked a donger off of Chris Sale or off of your kid’s future pony league baseball coach.  So what should we watch for in March when we’re starved for the crack of the bat?  Ignore “best shape of their life” stories and Spring Training statistical leaderboards.  Pay attention to injuries and lineup construction and position battles!  Also pay attention to where Bryce Harper and Manny Machado sign… Note that those two signings can instantly eliminate some of the position battles detailed herein.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Was thinking about this the other day.  Bear with me, it’s not fully formed (like the rest of this shizz).  Is there a higher upside move than becoming a magician?  David Blaine scored, Penn & Teller seemed to have done all right for themselves, Siegfried & Roy did fine until that white cat went ape…But how about all of the 18-year-old’s who are like, “Mom, Dad, I’m declining the full ride to Brown.  I want to do this…” *pulls sheet off table to reveal their daughter sawed in half*  “Oh, crap.  Marci?”  The world is littered with failed magicians!  You want upside?  There’s no greater upside call than deciding you want to be a magician for the rest of your life.  The Indians team?  They’re all freakin’ magicians!  Hey, Jose Ramirez (2-for-4, 5 RBIs and his 26th and 27th homer), you’re David Blaine!  Francisco Lindor (1-for-5, 2 runs, 3 RBIs and his 25th homer)?  You’re David Blaine!   Michael Brantley (2-for-4, 3 runs, 2 RBIs)?  You’re David Blaine!  You’re all David Blaine!  We even have some David Blaine magic for Jason Kipnis (2-for-3, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 9th homer, and 2nd homer in the last three games).  If you went Francisco Lindor and Jose Ramirez with your 1st two picks, you’re also a magician, according to the Fantasy Baseball Player Rater.  (The other way to look at this theory is only a handful of knuckleheads are actually stupid enough to want to be a magician, and the world is not littered with failed magicians and no one is turning down a free ride to an Ivy League school to become a magician, but we don’t talk about this part of the Upside Magician Theory.)  Thank you, Jose Ramirez and Francisco Lindor and all the Indians, I believe your magic is real.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

The joy you get from watching someone grab Freddy Peralta off waivers, then he throws a terrible start is Schadenfreddy.  However, he doesn’t throw terrible starts, so what does that leave us with if we don’t own Peralta, but we long for him?  Freddy Kreager beaver?  (They get worse, so skim with your eyes if you must.)  Freddy Appetizeralta?  Freddeeeeeeesire…..  I wanna know what the Brewhaha is about, Freddy got fingered by someone other than me?  *drops mic, mic lands on foot*  Ouch.  Yesterday, Freddy Peralta did as he’s done a couple of times before — 7 IP, 0 ER, 1 hit, 1 walk, 10 Ks, ERA at 1.59 thru three starts.  I don’t think he’s quite this good, let’s get that out of the way right now, said like Gordon Ramsay.  He is good, though, and I’ve been telling you to own him since he was called up.  He’s short (for a pitcher, still towers over me), but has strike out stuff (12.8 K/9 in Triple-A).  His delivery corkscrews out into a, “Get me some boxed vino, I’m a wild man,” pushing a 4+ BB/9, so there’s gonna be some ugly starts at some point, but I would still grab him.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

No joy comes from benching your ace and having him do a shot of Visine right as he’s going to bed.  “I’m just going to tuck myself in with a glass of warm milk and a Visine back.”  Nope, that brings me zero enjoyment.  It’s like calling your mechanic and telling him that your brakes don’t work, which you found out after the valet drove your Peugeot into a Chipotle.  (Even Chipotles have valets in LA.)  Car’s ruined, at least I wasn’t in the damn car, but no joy.  That’s what I’m getting right now from Carlos Martinez.  Yesterday, he went 4 IP, 5 ER, ERA up to 3.24, and it’s his 4th straight lackluster start in a row since returning from injury.  He was on my bench, because I don’t trust him at all, but my car’s still being used as a salsa bar, and I don’t want pico de gallo on my hood!  I want the ace pitcher I drafted!  I have to assume C-Mart is still hurt, because it hasn’t only been the series of bleh starts, but the control in his last four games has been atrocious 20 BBs in 16 2/3 IP.  Yesterday’s command was technically better, unless you consider being wild in the zone as big a problem.  Sadly, he needs to stay on your bench until he either rights the ship or hits the Disgraceful List.  Effin’ pico de gallo hood ornament!  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Yesterday’s Yankee/Rangers game started with a 1st-inning blast from Didi Gregorius (1-for-5, 2 RBIs, hitting .246) and his 11th homer.  The return of The Gregorius D.I.D. giving fantasy owners one more chance to tell trade partners gimme the loot, gimme the loot!  Also, in this game, Aaron Judge (2-for-5, 2 runs, 2 RBIs, hitting .284) went bye-bye now with his 13th; Neil Walker (2-for-5, 2 runs, hitting .220) said get those tennis balls off my feet and hit his 2nd (this week); Nomar Mazara (2-for-5, 3 BRIs, hitting .274) said two teams can play that game and hit his 11th, and Ronald Guzman (2-for-4, 2 runs, 3 RBIs) hit his 5th homer, and his third game in a row, and the two time in a row I said to pick him up.  Rinse, repeat.  Also, in this game, Aaron Judge–Sorry, got carried away with the repeat gag.  Speaking of gags:  Fister, I hardly know ya!  And I wish you BCC’d me on Sabathia.  But the real news, Gleyber Torres (1-for-5, 3 RBIs, hitting .323) hit his 8th homer, and his 5th homer in five games) had his star mitzvah this week.  Were you invited?  Lou Bega performed.  They had dreidel piñatas.  The pot roast was cut-your-mouth dry.  All the fixins!  I know someone who wasn’t invited, Aaron Boone.  Has to explain how Gleyber’s still hitting 9th.  Can someone mansplain to me what’s going on?  Did Neil Walker win a Boone family egg toss so he has to bat so high?  Maybe if Boone’s entire coaching experience wasn’t hitting a walk-off homer, we’d have some idea how this should play out.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

A few weeks back we had a slate with nothing but ugly pitching options. That day there was a pitcher who was likely the chalk and it made the cash pitching option rather straightforward as you just played the chalk and tried to win it with the bats. Today, the pitching options are not quite as ugly as they were that week, but the pitchers are still fairly unimpressive. The problem, for cash, is that, at least as far as I can tell, there is no really chalky choice, so the “blocking” strategy is out as the ownership will be split out amongst the different uninspiring options. So it comes down to getting the pitcher right, and I’ll be honest –  I believe there is a high degree of randomness and variance in terms of whether or not you pick the right pitcher today. If you “nail” the pitcher right and the others don’t do well, you’re going to be in fantastic shape, but if your choice duds and the other pitchers do well, you’re going to be pretty much done for the night. It’s definitely not an ideal cash game slate and in addition, the hitting is not my favorite (to put it lightly) as well. I’m not saying don’t play cash – if you’re a cash game player, play cash, and if you’re a GPP player, play GPPs. But if you’re the type of guy who plays a good chunk of both, today might be a good day to focus more on GPPs than cash. That said, you come here for my picks, and even though this may be not the ideal cash-game slate, I’m a professional who always makes sure to put in a high quality effort, so I’m here giving you my cash game picks. That’s what pros do – they perform under any and all circumstances.

On to the picks…

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Please, blog, may I have some more?

Keeping the weekend theme of rookie pitchers not giving up hits, yesterday Domingo German went 6 IP, 0 ER, zero hits, 2 BBs, 9 Ks, ERA at 2.66.  Since I wasn’t very familiar with German — “Guten tag, give your bratwurst my best kraut.” — I decided to watch this game.  German’s curve was made to look very impressive by an Indians team that still does not look right.  It also didn’t hurt that the home plate umpire gave him a very favorable strike zone — “You wear the lederhosen in the Deutschland, Lance Barrett?”  Kept feeling like a more patient team or just a few calls go a different way, and German has loaded the bases on walks with no outs, and, suddenly, he’s in a five run hole in two innings.  Bundesländer?  V to the ielleicht.  Maybe Sonntag had his Sunday best on, but I don’t trust him outside of deep leagues.  Of course, with that said (Grey’s turning the u-boat!), a flyer doesn’t hurt until the German roofie comes and you wake up in Frankfurt with a burly woman named Gertrude.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Eeeeeh, sexy Pirate
Op, op, op, op
Oppan Kingham style
Eeeeeh, sexy Pirate
Op, op, op, op
Eh-eh, eh-eh-eh-eh

By now this post will most likely feel like it’s late to the party, but since I only write once a week there’s not much I can do about that. The word on the street is that Kingham will get another turn in the rotation. I guess a near perfect game more or less forced their hand. Way to do a good job with that tough decision there Pittsburgh. However, Clint Hurdle did say that there were no promises after his second start. Looks like Kingham has another hurdle in front of him to keep from being sent back to Indianapolis. Perhaps another near perfect game will do the job.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

…And presenting our next award is Chance the Rapper and Grey the Napper.  *I lean into the mic*  “Thank you, it’s wonderful to be here.  Did you know the inventor of Ping Pong originally named it Fing Fong?  Yup, but he had terrible penmanship.”  *no one laughs*  “Oh, hey, there’s Jeff Daniels.  My dad loves you, but calls you Jack Daniels.  Then again, I’m not sure he’s talking about you.  Anyway, the nominees for our first Teoscar are… Teoscar Hernandez, from years in the minors of 17 homers, 33 steals.  Teoscar Hernandez, from the projections of 17/17 for this year.  Finally, Tesocar Hernandez, playing a fire emoji in The Emoji Movie, who yesterday went 4-for-6, 2 runs, 4 RBIs, hitting .421, with his 1st homer, while coming a double short of the cycle.  And the winner is…  *fumbles with envelope*  “Wow!  Tesocar Hernandez.”  “He was the only one nominated, and it’s called the Teoscars.”  “Shut up, Chance!  You’re ruining the ratings!  By the way, to cover the weed smell in your house, you should open a Subway sandwich shop in your living room.”  So, obviously Teoscar’s been all that and a swag bag of freebies, and I would grab him in all leagues.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Does anybody else remember the Adventures of the Gummi Bears? It was on the Disney Channel back in the day and it was THE Saturday Morning jam. Medieval, personified bears, that bounce like kangaroos. Where do I sign up, right? In one of the sloppiest and more unconnected openings in Razzball history, starting pitchers are nothing like Gummi Bears. No, they are not my Saturday Morning jam. They’re my Saturday Morning job, digging into numerous deep dives, for hours on end, trying to figure out which players are trending where. The results of these Saturday Morning exercises are below. As a reminder these rankings are for 5×5 roto with value focused on rest of season value for 2018. So, a player like Michael Kopech is ranked for his value over the entirety of the 2018 season. Not just the next month. In previous seasons, this post was a weekly ranking with a pitching profile included. This year we will continue the weekly pitching profile, but once a month we will update the rankings. Because honestly, how much can happen in a week? One or two starts? So there’s changes coming for 2018, but they’re slight, and you’ll still get the same quality profiles, notes, and ranks. You might also get a cupcake or a venereal disease, but no telling which one. The expiration dates will just be a little longer. On the rankings not on the cupcakes or your fresh batch of herpes.

Here’s my Top 100 Starting Pitchers for 2018 Fantasy Baseball.

Please, blog, may I have some more?