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Ron Blomberg, the first DH known to man, stood in a parking lot, outside Parsippany, New Jersey’s Ramada Inn, sipping a coffee and eating a donut. Mr. Blomberg was there to meet new recruits for the National League DH. A starry-eyed, Paul DeJong stepped up for a badge to Ron’s seminar, and to chat with Ron.
“I’m a big fan, Mr. Blomberg.”
Ron looks Paul DeJong up and down, not thinking much of him, “Of course, you are.”
Paul tries a new tact, “When you’re DH’ing, the electricity coursing through your veins, the fans at a fever pitch, it can’t be that hard to come off the bench, right?”
“It’s easier to get come off a towel,” answered Ron, as he handed DeJong his crumbled up napkin, holding his donut crumbs, and walked into the Ramada.
As expected when I started my 2022 fantasy baseball rankings, the DH is coming to the NL. Personally, I’m pumped, like I was Ron Blomberg myself, who gets a nickel for every DH at-bat, because Ron Blomberg invented the DH. His income just doubled. Have you seen the latest Fortune magazine with Ron Blomberg on the cover with the title, “Nickelaire?” Sorry for all the old schoolers who think pitchers hitting is sacred. I think it’s a sacrilege to hitting. Tomato-tomato-pronounced-with-a-different-emphasis.
You, a thoughtful person, “But NL pitchers have been working on their bunt for 47 years!”
Me, a person who doesn’t give a flying eff, “Pull the plug!”
If Paul DeJong’s first taste of being a DH isn’t a success, there could be upwards to 550 more chances this year. Dot dot dot. If the Cardinals want to have the worst DH in the National League. All of my 2022 fantasy baseball rankings are currently accurate as far as DHs in the NL, but once guys start signing, things could change dramatically. I’d guess at least half the NL teams go out and sign someone, and the Brewers cut half of their DHs. Hey, the Brewers used to be in the AL, right? So, is that why they already have five DHs? Maybe they can give one — say, Rowdy Tellez — to the Cards. If I were the Cards, I’d be on the lookout for anyone. Yes, I’m suggesting they pass on the DeJong, while he gets the Grey poop-on. Tomorrow, I will start a multi-day forage into the newly minted NL DHs, going through each NL team and their perspective DH, as I try to find a truffle in the pig shizz. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this preseason for 2022 fantasy baseball:
Please, blog, may I have some more?