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Less Bunts, More Schwarbers

February 21, 2022 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 71 Comments

by: Grey

[brid autoplay=”true” video=”951684″ player=”13959″ title=”Rzbl2022%20Busts” duration=”200″ description=”undefined” uploaddate=”2022-02-06″ thumbnailurl=”//cdn.brid.tv/live/partners/9233/thumb/951684_t_1644171255.png” contentUrl=”//cdn.brid.tv/live/partners/9233/sd/951684.mp4″]

Ron Blomberg, the first DH known to man, stood in a parking lot, outside Parsippany, New Jersey’s Ramada Inn, sipping a coffee and eating a donut. Mr. Blomberg was there to meet new recruits for the National League DH. A starry-eyed, Paul DeJong stepped up for a badge to Ron’s seminar, and to chat with Ron.

“I’m a big fan, Mr. Blomberg.”
Ron looks Paul DeJong up and down, not thinking much of him, “Of course, you are.”
Paul tries a new tact, “When you’re DH’ing, the electricity coursing through your veins, the fans at a fever pitch, it can’t be that hard to come off the bench, right?”
“It’s easier to get come off a towel,” answered Ron, as he handed DeJong his crumbled up napkin, holding his donut crumbs, and walked into the Ramada.

As expected when I started my 2022 fantasy baseball rankings, the DH is coming to the NL. Personally, I’m pumped, like I was Ron Blomberg myself, who gets a nickel for every DH at-bat, because Ron Blomberg invented the DH. His income just doubled. Have you seen the latest Fortune magazine with Ron Blomberg on the cover with the title, “Nickelaire?” Sorry for all the old schoolers who think pitchers hitting is sacred. I think it’s a sacrilege to hitting. Tomato-tomato-pronounced-with-a-different-emphasis.

You, a thoughtful person, “But NL pitchers have been working on their bunt for 47 years!”
Me, a person who doesn’t give a flying eff, “Pull the plug!”

If Paul DeJong’s first taste of being a DH isn’t a success, there could be upwards to 550 more chances this year. Dot dot dot. If the Cardinals want to have the worst DH in the National League. All of my 2022 fantasy baseball rankings are currently accurate as far as DHs in the NL, but once guys start signing, things could change dramatically. I’d guess at least half the NL teams go out and sign someone, and the Brewers cut half of their DHs. Hey, the Brewers used to be in the AL, right? So, is that why they already have five DHs? Maybe they can give one — say, Rowdy Tellez — to the Cards. If I were the Cards, I’d be on the lookout for anyone. Yes, I’m suggesting they pass on the DeJong, while he gets the Grey poop-on. Tomorrow, I will start a multi-day forage into the newly minted NL DHs, going through each NL team and their perspective DH, as I try to find a truffle in the pig shizz. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this preseason for 2022 fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

CHRHRHRistian Yelich

April 16, 2019 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 685 Comments

by: Grey

[brid autoplay=”true” video=”404395″ player=”10951″ title=”Fantasy Baseball 2019 Mailbag Week 4″]

Christian Yelich hit his 6th homer and his…wait for it….here it comes…where’d it go…did I leave it in the car…no, it’s right here under my ass…and his 7th homer and his…crap, this one is in the car, isn’t it…nope, under the other cheek…and his 8th homer! Add in 7 RBIs and he’s hitting a zillion. Can we just crown him with back-to-back MVPs and sneak him into Ariana Grande’s room already? After he wins his 2nd straight MVP, there will still (!!!) be someone next March who is saying something like, “Grey, you are wildly handsome, but I just don’t trust Yelich. Can you talk me into him?” Which they will say right after I’ve written 1,200 words on Yelich. Doode is a beast who powers the Milwakuee’s Best. Don’t funk up my jam! Which is what Mr. Smuckers says to his wife when she messes up his DVR recordings of The Voice. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Padres Flashing Their Tatis on Opening Day

March 27, 2019 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 495 Comments

by: Grey

[brid autoplay=”true” video=”397243″ player=”10951″ title=”Fantasy Baseball Mailbag Week 1″]

Fernando Tatis Jr. made the team. Did not see that one coming. Don’t own him anywhere. To which you now say, “Tough Tatis.” Wow. I’m stunned. Good for the Padres! This is not good for the Luis Urias, who I’ve lowered in my top 20 2nd basemen. Possibly bad news for Ian Kinsler too, but owning Ian Kinsler in fantasy was bad news for you anyway. Here’s what I said earlier in the preseason on Tatis, “Fernando Tatis Jr. was born in 1999. Recently, it was announced Acuña was so young he didn’t know who Mickey Mantle was, well, Tatis Jr. is so young he doesn’t know who Mike Trout is. Dude was born like a minute ago, and not a minute as it’s defined in Urban Dictionary, which is a long time, but an actual minute. Fernando Tatis Jr.’s dad is so young he didn’t even use charcoal as his medium; he used MS Paint. Tatis Jr. looks like an All Star ready to happen, until the 75th round draft pick, Albert Pujols Jr., comes along and replaces him. Jokes aside, Tatis looks damn near perfect. A lanky Machado maybe, a young Hanley possibly. Like something Ryan Brasier would cover, Tatis looks real and spectacular. I’d say the difference him and his pops is the difference between Ken Griffey Jr. and Sr., but Ken Sr. wasn’t that bad. How about this, the difference between Tatises (Tatii?) is the difference between J.D. Martinez and J.D. Martinez Sr. Was there a J.D. Martinez Sr.? No idea, but that’s the point. FTJ is going to be special. Now Fun the Jewels fast! Now Fun the Jewels fast! Now Fun the Jewels fast!” And that’s me quoting me! I love him, guys and five girl readers, and you need to own him in all leagues. Immediately. He has some swing-and-miss tendencies, due to his age, so I conservatively projected him up to around 18/18/.250, but, honestly, he could be so much more. He was also moved up my top 20 shortstops, if you’re into that sorta thing. Anyway, here’s what else I saw in spring training for fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

NL-Only, 12 Team Draft Recap or: How I Let A Wong Screw Me

March 4, 2019 | Our Leagues | 272 Comments

by: Grey

As many of you know, I’m in the NL-Only Tout Wars league, so every year I take part in an industry NL-Only league with the CBS peeps to try to find my footing before I go off to New York to take on the heavyweights, and Andy Behrens, who appears to have a healthy BMI. Some might mock, some might mock draft, but this is my draft prep, and am happy to take part in this league. Until about 25 minutes into the draft, and players go for way too much, and I start getting hungry and I just want the whole thing to be over and ermahgerd! But, for those first twenty-five minutes of the five-hour draft, I’m laser focused. For this league, I once again use Rudy’s NL-Only rankings, and his War Room (it’s free with a subscription). I won’t try to get you to buy it anymore. You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make the horse put a cape down so I can walk over the water without getting wet. (If you want a shallower league, play against me and hundreds others for prizes –> Razzball Commenter Leagues.) Anyway, here’s my 12-team NL-Only team and some thoughts:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Top 100 Starters for 2019 Fantasy Baseball

February 5, 2019 | Fantasy Baseball Rankings | 212 Comments

by: Grey

[brid autoplay=”true” video=”377153″ player=”10951″ title=”2019 Razzball Draft Kit Starting Pitchers”]

With these top 100 starters for 2019 fantasy baseball, I’ve finished our (my) 2019 fantasy baseball rankings for positions. Still coming will be a top 100 overall and top 500 to see how all the positions mesh together like your mesh Redskins jersey that meshes with your burgundy sweatpants. Trust me, when you see how long this post is, you’ll be glad I kept this intro short. As always, my projections are included, and where I see tiers starting and stopping. If you want an explanation of tiers, go back to the top 10 overall and start this shizz all over again. Anyway, here’s the top 100 starters for 2019 fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Fantasy Baseball Podcast: Steven Matz vs. Nick Kingham

July 30, 2018 | Ditka, Razzball Podcast |

by: B_Don

Newly returned to the US of A, Donkey Teeth regales the audience with tales of his alleged fishing success. B_Don and DT then cast an eye to the mythical Kingham fish in last week’s duel against Steven Matz. Nick Kingham looked more like a minnow than a King Salmon in this one while Matz impressed with a career high, 9 strikeouts. The guys talk about Matz curve and change along with Kingham’s change, slider, and rarely used curve.

In the pickups segment the guys recommend a slew of relief arms to speculate on, as well as Yonny Chirinos, Lourdes Gurriel, Ryan McMahon, and many more. Tune in, grab your net and scoop some of these studs before they get away.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

FAAB Five: Second Half Heroics

July 22, 2018 | 2023 Fantasy Baseball | 3 Comments

by: Paul "The" Martian

As we begin the second half of the season, it is important to remember the vitality of FAAB bidding during the stretch run. Free agency becomes crucial with only a couple months left in the fantasy season, trade deadlines approaching, and budgets dwindling. If you keep up with the FAAB Five every week, I should be saving you cash on names like Nick Pivetta, Max Muncy, Ross Stripling, and others providing consistent value above other waiver names.

Another tricky part with late-season FAAB is navigating a lackluster list of players. At this point in your league, teams are most likely stashing the best prospects (or they’re hurt: R.I.P. Tatis Jr’s Thumb), and most players that will contribute significant value, like Jesus Aguilar, are already in the loving gaze of another owner’s eyes. I will continue to scour the depths of the waivers each week to provide the names I find most value possible, giving people ample amount of money to use throughout the Dog Days of Summer.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Ambulance Chasers, Week 16.5: Pillah is a Wicked Skeezah

July 19, 2018 | Fantasy Baseball Injury Report | 4 Comments

by: Kerry Klug

Can you imagine if Kevin Pillar (OF, Sprained Shoulder) played in Boston? Yeesh. Boston Radio would be the most unlistenable noise ever recorded. “You see dat catch by Kevin Pillah?! I almost friggen ran outta my pahlah!” Pillah is going to be out 4-6 weeks after injuring the area near his collarbone. Shame. His 19 HR+SBs were looking pretty good and I think there was a good chance his run production numbers would’ve gotten a boost if he got traded to a competitor. Stash or Trash: Stash. He was having a pretty good year so far and will be back to help you for your stretch run. Fill In: Kevin Kiermaier (8.4%.) “Wait Klug. You want me to replace one injured guy…with THE injured guy?” Yea I know, Kiermaier, Shmiermaier. “I don’t want to pick that clown up just to read about him in next week’s Ambulance Chasers!” I know it’s been a lost season for KK, but he’s hit safely in 9 of his last 11 games and has a HR and two SBs in that time as well. He’s got 10 HR/10 SB capability in the second half even though, yes, he also has DL-60 capability in the second half as well.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Indians Give Chilly Reception To Fellow Ohioans And Light Up The Skyline

July 12, 2018 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 371 Comments

by: Grey

[brid autoplay=”true” video=”270190″ player=”10951″ title=”Fantasy Baseball Mailbag Week 15″]

Was thinking about this the other day. Bear with me, it’s not fully formed (like the rest of this shizz). Is there a higher upside move than becoming a magician? David Blaine scored, Penn & Teller seemed to have done all right for themselves, Siegfried & Roy did fine until that white cat went ape…But how about all of the 18-year-old’s who are like, “Mom, Dad, I’m declining the full ride to Brown. I want to do this…” *pulls sheet off table to reveal their daughter sawed in half* “Oh, crap. Marci?” The world is littered with failed magicians! You want upside? There’s no greater upside call than deciding you want to be a magician for the rest of your life. The Indians team? They’re all freakin’ magicians! Hey, Jose Ramirez (2-for-4, 5 RBIs and his 26th and 27th homer), you’re David Blaine! Francisco Lindor (1-for-5, 2 runs, 3 RBIs and his 25th homer)? You’re David Blaine! Michael Brantley (2-for-4, 3 runs, 2 RBIs)? You’re David Blaine! You’re all David Blaine! We even have some David Blaine magic for Jason Kipnis (2-for-3, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 9th homer, and 2nd homer in the last three games). If you went Francisco Lindor and Jose Ramirez with your 1st two picks, you’re also a magician, according to the Fantasy Baseball Player Rater. (The other way to look at this theory is only a handful of knuckleheads are actually stupid enough to want to be a magician, and the world is not littered with failed magicians and no one is turning down a free ride to an Ivy League school to become a magician, but we don’t talk about this part of the Upside Magician Theory.) Thank you, Jose Ramirez and Francisco Lindor and all the Indians, I believe your magic is real. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

C-Mart Pitching Like Kmart

June 22, 2018 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 294 Comments

by: Grey

No joy comes from benching your ace and having him do a shot of Visine right as he’s going to bed. “I’m just going to tuck myself in with a glass of warm milk and a Visine back.” Nope, that brings me zero enjoyment. It’s like calling your mechanic and telling him that your brakes don’t work, which you found out after the valet drove your Peugeot into a Chipotle. (Even Chipotles have valets in LA.) Car’s ruined, at least I wasn’t in the damn car, but no joy. That’s what I’m getting right now from Carlos Martinez. Yesterday, he went 4 IP, 5 ER, ERA up to 3.24, and it’s his 4th straight lackluster start in a row since returning from injury. He was on my bench, because I don’t trust him at all, but my car’s still being used as a salsa bar, and I don’t want pico de gallo on my hood! I want the ace pitcher I drafted! I have to assume C-Mart is still hurt, because it hasn’t only been the series of bleh starts, but the control in his last four games has been atrocious 20 BBs in 16 2/3 IP. Yesterday’s command was technically better, unless you consider being wild in the zone as big a problem. Sadly, he needs to stay on your bench until he either rights the ship or hits the Disgraceful List. Effin’ pico de gallo hood ornament! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

FantasyDraft: The Snell Of Success

June 9, 2018 | DFS, FantasyDraft |

by: MattTruss

The schedule in MLB seems totally bonkers. It’s because of this that I’m going to focus on the early slate for this Saturday of action. There are four games on the late slate, which is acceptable, but doesn’t provide a ton of content (or prime time viewing), especially when there’s a Coors games mixed in as part of the fun. For those that don’t know, you’re either staking Coors and hoping it hits like gangbusters, or fading it and hoping it’s a dud. That choice is yours. Charlie Morton is your top pitcher on the evening and pairing him up with someone is no easy feat. Alex Wood is at home, but facing the Braves. I’d probably pair him with Domingo German and hope he tames the Mets. So, focusing on the early start times, we have Blake Snell ($23,200) at home vs. the Mariners. Snell has been a dreamboat of late, totalling two earned runs in his last four starts while striking out 35 in 24.3 IP. That my friends, is the smell of victory. Snell just shut out Seattle, in Seattle over 6 IP and struck out 12. Somehow he got a No Decision from that gem, but hopefully with home field today he can earn that “W”. Either way, you want to lock him in for cash games and consider him as an anchor to GPP lineups as well.

New to FantasyDraft? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well be sure to read our content and subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. It’s how we know you care!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Someone Rodon The Buy Chalkboard

June 8, 2018 | Fantasy Baseball Buy/Sell | 487 Comments

by: Grey

[brid autoplay=”true” video=”254222″ player=”10951″ title=”Fantasy Baseball Buy Sell Hold Week 11″]

Can Carlos Rodon wait until the White Sox are done with their different-colored Sox counterparts before being reinstated from the DL? I’m asking for us, because you’re not going to find a more caring fantasy baseball ‘pert. I’m like your My Pillow, and I hug you like the My Pillow guy hugs his pillow. In all his mustachioed glory and common man charms. I nourish you like avocado toast and a warm glass of PBR. You see that hammock in your backyard that those two squirrels are fornicating on? Shoo them off the hammock, because that hammock is me on a cold, winter night when your wife kicks you out of the house when she catches you checking out a waitress. Let’s snuggle. Metaphorically! What are you doing, you freak?! Any hoo! Rodon is due back, and not only is he a Buy, he’s also a hold in the video above because I don’t know how he’s going to look his first time back, i.e., he’s an own in all leagues. He’s a 9.5+ K/9, high-3 xFIP guy. If everything breaks right, he’s better than Lance McCullers. Things break wrong? Well, then you can drop him. Grab him now, like I metaphorically grab you in your mind’s eye. Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?