Welcome to your star spangled edition of AMBULANCE CHASERS, Razz peeps! In honor of Independence Day, I have put a red, white, and blue vinyl table cloth down and laid out some lukewarm potato salad. I am on a budget. So, I hope you like Dr. Thunder. Also, there will not be any fireworks because […]Please, blog, may I have some more?
Please see our player page for Archie Bradley to see projections for today, the next 7 days and rest of season as well as stats and gamelogs designed with the fantasy baseball player in mind.
Bryan Reynolds came upon a boy with a banjo on the porch of a rickety-old shack. The boy with the banjo looked like a 14-year-old version of the former MLB player, Johnny Dickshot, who was nicknamed Ugly, because if they called him by his last name, they’d be arrested in the 1930’s. Since this wasn’t Johnny Dickshot, but a smaller version of him, B. Reynolds called him Tiny Dickshot, and he played this song:
Just looking into Tiny Dickshot’s one good eye was said to curse a person, and Tiny Dickshot did curse B. Reynolds but, since he played for the Pirates, which is a curse in itself, it worked as a reverse jinx, and two negatives made it a positive for Bryan Reynolds (3-for-5, 6 RBIs) as he hit his 13th, 14th and 15th homer. After getting off to a very slow start, Reynolds is on pace for having his best power and speed season. Average (.258) is still below where you want it with him, but…I feel weird…What is this…Am I…liking Bryan Reynolds? I think I am. Yikes, maybe I’ve been cursed by Tiny Dickshot. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
What’s good, Razzfools? Yes, that’s me starting a second consecutive SAGNOF report with the same pun. If it ain’t broken, amirite? Here’s the best and worst of the past week (note: yesterday’s games do not factor in): Josh Hader had himself a week: 4 SV, 4 IP, 1 H, buncha zeroes, then 5 K. No […]Please, blog, may I have some more?
What it do, Razzturds! Very simple concept for this week. Lots of new faces in new places, so I’ll be running y’all through the fantasy ramifications of all that. In order of NL East/Central/West then AL East/Central/West, just cuz. In addition to updating you all on transactions, I’ll touch on some injuries that have impacted […]Please, blog, may I have some more?
At the same time the Red Sox signed Trevor Story, the Yankees signed Marwin Gonzalez. The oneupmanship between these two teams is just so hard to keep up with! Will cover Marwin in a few, but in some ways the Yankees replaced Luke Voit and Gary Sanchez all in one full swoop. Ya know, a guy who doesn’t play like Voit, while also being a guy not one fan is happy with like Sanchez. Mean’s while, the Red Sox went out and added Trevor Story to play 2nd base, and my mouth fell open and I started drooling when I saw the Expected Homers by Story if he called Fenway his home park last year. This stat is in general an absolute goof that you shouldn’t pay too much attention to, but I’ve never seen someone with such a huge difference before between actual and expected homers. He had 19 expected homers in Coors last year (actually hit 24) and his expected homers in Fenway was 38 homers. That is comical. Last year, Story hit 35.5% to center and 27.3% to right. That’s a decent amount the other way (32nd in the majors) and little above average to center. In Fenway, you want to badonkadonk off the wall as many times as you can. Not so you can scare people on Lansdowne, or at least not only that reason. You wanna hit doodie shots off the wall for the doodie doubles. Like a PETA-sanctioned vet, Story has pulled more balls previously, so maybe he returns to that, but he’s been getting beat by fastballs, not exactly turning on them. Why does this sound negative? Because I think people’s first reaction is to think Story just got much better, but as Rudy’s hitter projections show, this was a pretty neutral move from Coors. Not bad, but things didn’t get much better. That extra eligibility doesn’t hurt though. Well, it doesn’t hurt Story. Where my Jarren Duran truthers at? You need a hug? Updated were my shortstops rankings; top 100 for 2022 fantasy baseball and top 500 for 2022 fantasy baseball. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this preseason for 2022 fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Howdy-do, Razzgals n guys. Thanks for dropping in another depressing issue of Ambulance Chasers, where ambulance drivers are going bananas and your fantasy lineups are paying for it. Let’s just jump right in this week, since injuries are piling up faster than $DOGE-ers are piling into the bandwagon.Please, blog, may I have some more?
WHAT, PRECISELY, IS THE MARK OF HUMANITY, IF NOT THE ETERNAL SOUL? For myself, dear reader, this question remains unanswered, as from my personal vantage point within existence, there appears to me no power greater than that with which man both enslaves and empowers fellow man.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Holds Ain’t Got No Face!
These poor schlubs. No one’s favorite player is a middle reliever. The middle reliever never gets the girl. The signed middle reliever rookie card never fetches more than a buck-fifty on eBay.
Yet these working-class heroes continue to go out every day and grind away to bridge the gap between the billion-dollar, sexy starting pitchers and the dark, mysterious closers.
So here’s to you Graeme Lloyd! Here’s to you Mark Eichhorn! Here’s to you Matt Thornton! And MY personal favorite player of all time — here’s to you Jeff Nelson!
From a fantasy perspective, the middle reliever has been a non-factor since the beginning of roto baseball. In your standard 5×5 leagues there’s just no room for a player who barely contributes in any of the 5 pitching categories. However, after years and years of heart attacks from being forced to draft Fernando Rodney because they missed the closer runs — cardiologists have created a new fantasy category to prevent such cardiac conditions: saves + holds
Below I’ve ranked the top-40 non-closers for saves + holds leagues. In true Kerry-fashion, I’ve manufactured my own ranking system. I’ve ranked these guys out into three categories: sv/hlds, limiting runs, and K/9 — the three categories that middle relievers can consistently help you in. Limiting runs is a combination of ERA and WHIP — basically, in one inning, a reliever needs to keep guys off the bases — and if there are already guys on the bases — keeping them from scoring runs. You know — like the job of every pitcher!Please, blog, may I have some more?
It’s unlikely you haven’t already heard, but ICYMI: esteemed national baseball writer Boob Nightenfail tweeted Thursday evening that the Mets had a done deal with Trevor Bauer. Then not even like five minutes later, all the cool kids tweeted how this, in fact, was untrue. Fast forward less than 24 hours later and Bauer signed a deal with Dodgers, along with some dumb hype video I haven’t yet and never will bother to watch. I’m just glad all of this is over, because I am so over Trevor Bauer. I hope he goes back to being the mediocre pitcher he’s always been. He’s jack diddly without pine tar, and that’s a fact!
Oh, Boob. Thanks for the laugh! As for the rest, here’s the best:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Not usually my style, but we’re taking a break from the 2021 fantasy baseball rankings for a day because of the big trade between the Rockies and Cardinals (and a shizzton of other moves). All the 2021 fantasy baseball rankings, including pitchers, are already up on our Patreon.
So, the Rockies are trying to lose, and they’re a stupid franchise. That is a bad combination. Like burning down your house for insurance money after letting your insurance lapse. The Rockies gave away their marquee player and $50 million. If this is a rebuild, and Austin Gomber is the start of–I’m sorry. I can’t even say Austin Gomber with a straight face. The Cards got Arenado for a Gomber pile of garbage. Bud Black is actually the perfect imbecile to run that team. So, on Arenado’s fantasy value, well…*swallows*…okay, so…*collects thoughts* Yeah, I moved him down in my rankings.
Arenado was traded to the Cards, and I can’t possibly tell you he’s as safe to draft in St. Louis. I don’t think the park change is as dramatic as some are making it out to be. I don’t think he’s suddenly done. I know his road/away splits, but as said many times before, guys are better at home. Even guys who aren’t in Coors. You’re staying at home, you’re surrounded by family and friends, you’re seeing your wife–Wait, are these reasons to enjoy being at home? Right, yes, I kid! Home numbers are always better. Familiarity with the park, just being more comfortable. It’s always like this; there’s stats to back it up, don’t make me pull them out. So, Arenado might not have been great on the road when he played in Coors, but you can’t just say his new home numbers will be his old road numbers. Doesn’t work like that. Trying to see the difference between him and, say, Jose Abreu, though, has become nearly impossible and Abreu isn’t a top 20 overall pick, and neither is Arenado now. I moved Rafael Devers up to the top 20 for 2021 fantasy baseball; Arenado dropped about ten overall spots (but only one spot in the top 20 3rd basemen), and I lowered his projections a bit. His new projections: 88/32/106/.279/1 in 592 ABs.
For what it’s Wuertz, here’s out Steamer projections pre-trade: 103/35/103/.286, 4th best 3B, ~20th overall. Here’s him post-trade: 86/29/85/.256; 8th-10th 3B, ~110TH overall. Um, that’s kinda gross. And, to add fire to the inferno whooshing around the Torenado, look at projections of Austin Riley vs. Nolan Arenado:
Anyway, here’s what else I saw this offseason for fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
No real blockbuster-type stuff this week after last week’s doozy of a trade, I’m afraid, but we have had a few big signings and plenty of trade/free agent rumors fluttering about in the breeze.
Really, it’s just a slow offseason so far, all things considered. Going by ESPN’s list, six of their top 10 FAs are still on the market. Only 12 of the top 50 have been signed. Spring Training is supposed to ramp back up in less than two months from now, but a vast majority of players are still standing on the sidelines with one thumb in the air, hoping someone stops by and opens their passenger door.
Anyhoodles, let’s get caught up on the past week:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Welcome back, Razzballers, to the second iteration of Saturday Stove Deals, which has since been renamed The Saturday Morning Post, cuz this is comin’ to you on a Saturday morning and it’s a super original spin on The Saturday Evening Post. Pretty deep, eh? This is where I’ll be doing my bestest to recap the […]Please, blog, may I have some more?