Charlie Morton aka Ground Chuck was playing “Hamburger Patty Cake” with the Mariners yesterday — 7 IP, 0 ER, 3 hits, 0 walks, 8 Ks, ERA at 0.72, WHIP at 0.88. Ground Chuck said, “I’m A-1, try to ketchup.” Then he took a long pull off his Jamaican meat patty, and continued to speak in food allusions, “I’m topped by Monterey Jack, you’re whack.” Ground Chuck cracked his knuckles, “I make you so gay, you try to find Ground Chuck on Grindr.” Then, after a pause, “Gay, as in happy, but no judgments.” Finally, concluding, “If the Babe had a kid named Chris, then Ruth’s Chris still ain’t got shizz on Morton’s.” Charlie Morton sounds a bit cocky there, but he has every reason to be. In the preseason, I said, “A pitcher that goes through life as an also-ran to turn it around in his 30’s is rare. One other guy comes to mind, his name rhymes with Bitch Chill. Anyhoo, I’m buying into Morton’s transformation. How about a late-in-career transformation we call The Caitlyn Jenner? No? Okay.” And that’s me quoting me! One thing I did not understand at all was why there were so many skeptics on Morton this preseason. It was as if they ignored all of his previous season, and did not watch him in the playoffs. Ground Chuck is Salisbury Steak’ing his claim as a top five starter. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Please see our player page for Matt Wisler to see projections for today, the next 7 days and rest of season as well as stats and gamelogs designed with the fantasy baseball player in mind.
Just finished my first draft if you’re reading this as I type it, and other than one shirtless man in yellow sweatpants standing behind me in this internet cafe, I don’t think anyone’s reading this as I type it. Unless, of course, there’s micronauts living inside my brain watching as my inner monologue is sending info to my fingers. Gadzooks, I got micronauts in my brain! I wonder if these micronauts made me draft Eric Thames. I need to delve deeper into this subject. Maybe I will in my pastel journal that is covered in Giancarlo’s picture from ESPN’s nude magazine. So, I took on the monsters of the industry in an NL Only league that was hosted by Scott White of CBS and I came away with a team that is more imbalanced than Amanda Bynes. This league is deep so hold onto ye old hat. (If you want a shallower league, play against me and hundreds of your closest buddies in the Razzball Commenter Leagues. Please be a commissioner, we need leagues, thank you, and Oxford comma.) Anyway, here’s my 12-team NL-Only team and some thoughts:Please, blog, may I have some more?
With these top 100 starters for 2017 fantasy baseball, I’ve finished our (my) 2017 fantasy baseball rankings for positions. Still coming will be a top 100 overall and top 500 to see how all the positions mesh together like your mesh Redskins jersey that meshes with your burgundy sweatpants. Trust me, when you see how long this post is, you’ll be glad I kept this intro short. As always, my projections are included, and where I see tiers starting and stopping. If you want an explanation of tiers, go back to the top 10 overall and start this shizz all over again. Anyway, here’s the top 100 starters for 2017 fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
“Is this Men on the Move Moving Company? Great. I have a small problem. Okay, it’s not small. But it is a problem. I have a ‘hype sleeper’ sitting here and I’m trying to move sixteen posts in front of it. You can handle the job? That’s great! Can I get hyphens between each post too? I can? Wow, you guys are lifesavers.” *comes in to see* Hype-hype-hype-hype-hype-hype-hype-post-sleep-hyper. What the hell is this?! I wanted sixteen posts in front of hype sleeper! Not this gobbledygook! So, Taijuan Walker flashed some of that post16-hype sleeper business last night — 9 IP, 0 ER, 3 baserunners, 11 Ks — to lower his ERA to 4.28. It was an easy matchup (vs. Angels), but it still showed why year after year I keep going back to Walker. He is talented. Can anyone say seventeen posts for 2017? Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
After swinging a deal for Aaron Hill on Wednesday, the Red Sox have beefed up their bullpen trading for Brad Ziegler. Ziegler was rocking a 2.82 ERA, 1.46 WHIP and 18 saves with Arizona but he will likely be relegated to set up duty in Bean town. This is not to say his value is completely shot…yet. With Craig Kimbrel crying about his sore knee, Boston may be in need of an interim closer. Koji Uehara is the obvious first choice but his 4.96 ERA and 8 homers allowed in 32.2 IP make it seem like the choice ain’t so obvious. Still Koji’s 46/9 K/BB ratio makes me happy, and he notched the save Friday night (after surrendering a home run), so he’s the best bet for saves if Kimbrel misses any time. As for your new closer in the land of the rising sun? Tyler Clippard is the most likely candidate if you need saves or a buzz cut. He’s got a 3.06 ERA with 39 strikeouts over 32.1 IP, and saved 19 games for the Mets and A’s last year, but his career 57% save conversion rate certainly doesn’t inspire a whole lot of confidence. Daniel Hudson is the ideal saves candidate in Zona but has struggled mightily over the past month (12.96 ERA, 2.40 WHIP in 8.1 innings). Regardless, if you need a save and a haircut, I’d grab Clippard and Hudson in that order. And if you’re a Boston Red Sox team that desperately needs starting pitching, I’d recommend trading for a infielder and a relief pitcher.
Here’s what else I saw Friday night in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Coors days are funny days. Note I didn’t say ‘fun’, I said ‘funny’. I find them downright exasperating simply because you feel compelled to have a Colorado stack out there, even if and when it’s not really the best situation. Look, I’m not gonna sit here – and yes I am sitting – and tell you that Coors is an outright fade today but I will tell you the arms going in that one ain’t slouches. Yes, we know that any arm that lands in the Rockies can get touched up. It’s, like, science and stuff. Overall, though, I am here to tell you quite simply: there are a lot of good plays for bats out there tonight and I, for one, won’t be forcing a Rocky mountain high into my life. In fact, I’d rather just tell you about the glory that is stacking against Sean O’Sullivan. There are some big time prices on bats today across the board, but somehow DK missed that Sean has some straight scary career numbers. Over 318.2 IP, Big Sean has a 4.35 K/9, a 3.22 BB/9 and a 5.22 xFIP while his career HR/9 sits at 1.64. A journeyman in every sense of the word, look to the Rays bats to come alive tonight and you don’t have to pay top dollar to push this stack in. Their most expensive bat is Brad Miller at $4,500 and you don’t need to go that route. For me, gimme some Evan Longoria, Logan Forsythe, Oswaldo Arcia, and other bits and parts that I can find that are in that starting lineup and let it ride, using the savings to pay up for pitching on the night. Rays the roof fellas. But enough about that, let’s move on to this. Here’s my Coors swerve taeks for this Friday DK slate…
New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well reserve your spot in the 25 Team Razzball Exclusive League set to run Monday July 11th to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. Wanna know what the best part is about signing up with us? The free subscription for the rest of the season to our DFSBot, that’s what! For details on the how to, please visit our Razzball Subscriptions page.Please, blog, may I have some more?
On small slates, sometimes you find yourself looking around the DK draft room and you have to talk yourself into someone. Sure, there’s merit to my John Lamb call today and we’re gonna get to them but before we do, let’s look at who we’re not rostering to get a feel for why we’re here. Zack Greinke in Coors? Um, no. Up and down Matt Harvey who gave up four runs to this same Braves team while pitching at home? Ehhhhh…the upside lacking blah-fest that is Matt Wisler? Puh-lease. So here’s me going all Brick Tamland on you and trying to get you excited about going to the Lamb pants party. John really hasn’t been in any sort of groove so far this year but maybe, just maybe, his last start against the Astros gets him kick started. After having a 10.51 K/9 over 10 starts last year, Lamb has nearly halved that production, dropping down to 5.7 all while keeping his walk rates atrocious. These are not good things! However, here’s the good news: Padres. Admittedly, San Diego has a surprising 117 wRC+ against lefties but there’s some K upside here. Padres sit near the bottom with a 23.9% K rate against southpaws. If you’re looking to get some Coors exposure, you’re gonna need to make some financial concessions to get there and at $5,400, John is just that with some punch out upside to go with it. So let’s move along, shall we? Here’s my LOUD NOISES hot taek for this Thursday DK slate…
New to DraftKings? Well reserve your spot in the 25 Team Razzball Exclusive League set to run Monday June 27th to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. It’s how we know you care! If you still feel helpless and lonely, be sure to subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Cameron Maybin was 3-for-4 Friday night with his fourth stolen base in four games. Did someone say SAGNOF? Since his return from the disabled list last Monday, Killa Cam has hit safely in all four games he’s played, going 8-for-13 (.615 AVG), with 3 runs, an RBI, and oh, did I mention he’s stolen four bases?! Because that’s why I’m writing this lede about Cameron Maybin and not some obviously more valuable and less disappointment-prone player. I googled my headline thinking it was a song title by the Cure or something but all that came up was a sub reddit about depression. What’s worse is I had visited this page before. Hmm, probably because I’ve owned Maybin so many times in the past. Cameron has burned me more over the years than the cast of That 70’s Show, but four steals in four games should not be ignored. Grey told you to BUY and he said “That’s so, Maybin!” Wow, that’s so Grey to say that. Temper your expectation, but pick up Maybin if you got the Need for Speed but refuse to support EA games or Aaron Paul’s acting career. So yeah, Maybin this time will be different? This could be my crippling depression talking, but he’s available in about 80% of leagues and I’d take a flier wherever I needed steals.
Here’s what else I saw Friday night in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
You have to appreciate the classics. I wouldn’t say I’m a jazz nerd or anything, but I do listen to the genre, am familiar with the legends and am generally a sucker for horns. If you have no idea what I’m talking about right now, do yourself a favor and go hit up your favorite music streaming service and search for John Coltrane. Then prepare yourself for some serious ear candy. Speaking of candy (geez, that transition was more forced than a JB SeatGeek spot huh?), Gerrit Cole faces off against the Colorado Rockies tonight. Facing the Rockies away from Coors is like taking the aforementioned candy right out of the hands of an infant. These very same Rockies just made Adam Wainwright look like a legitimate ace. I know, crazy right? Cole held his own against the Rox out in Coors, 6 IP, 2 ER, 3 Ks. That translates to 8 IP, -4 ER and 9 Ks in a normal ball park. PNC park has also ranked in the bottom 1/5th in the league for LHB HR park factor the past two seasons. That lines up perfectly for the left-heavy Rockies. I really don’t understand Coles’s price tag tonight, but for $4,000 less than Jake Arrieta, he is my number one pitching play today. Let’s see what other values we can dig up for tonight’s slate:
New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well reserve your spot in the 25 Team Razzball Exclusive League set to run Monday May 23rd to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. It’s how we know you care! If you still feel helpless and lonely, be sure to subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays.
New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well reserve your spot in the 25 Team Razzball Exclusive League set to run Monday May 23rd to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. It’s how we know you care! If you still feel helpless and lonely, be sure to subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Is he learning the English language? Is he drunk? Is he trying to say ‘drawer’ while drunk? Did he have a stroke? Does he just not know that the person he’s thinking of is an artist and he’s calling him a drawer? Did he just have an operation on his teeth and he’s saying jewelry? The jewelry drawer? Does he have marbles in his mouth? Rocks? Gobstoppers? Is he doing an insensitive impersonation of a speech impediment? No, prematurely balding man, he’s trying to say the name Drury! As in Brandon Drawer–Excuse me, Brandon Drury. Yes, he’s about as hot as any hitter in the league and should be owned. In the bigger picture, he had a .331 average in 63 games in Triple-A, and is only 23 years old, so, while he hasn’t shown great power in the minors, it could still be developing. Is Drawer top shelf? Too Drury to say. Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?