Merry Christmas, you giant nerds! Look at you, checking a fantasy baseball blog on Christmas like a bunch of giant nerds! That’s why I love you. Seriously, I have love for you. Like someone who’s never met someone else could love someone. Very, very intimate. I wasn’t planning on doing a post today, but Josh Bell was traded to the Nationals and I really wanted to get out this update post of so many other signings, that I was like, “Meh, what the heck, put it out there for my over-the-internet friends since this Christmas is like none I’ve ever lived through.” I miss my family, but I have you, my non-family family. So, Josh Bell was traded to the Nats, conspicuously within minutes of, well, we know what happened here. The Pirates’ payroll needed to be slashed after the House was unable to increase the stimulus checks to $2,000. Now that Josh Bell is in Washington there’s only one thing can we can be certain of: confirmed Josh Bell 2021 All-Star. Could see Josh Bell out-pitching even Tyler Glasnow. If he wants to, of course. He might just want to hit. So, getting out of Pittsburgh can’t hurt anyone. He’s also coming off one of the boringiest (totally a word!) 1st baseman seasons. How’sever, if 2019 was only two months long, Josh Bell would’ve been a top 20 overall player last year. What’s my point? Meh, don’t really have one, but Josh Bell was hurt by last year’s small sample, and hurt by 2019’s, uh, long sample. Who is Josh Bell in Washington? A better question might be how long is this season going to be and when will it start? Josh Bell is prolly somewhere between the two extremes of his 1st few months of 2019, and his 2020. For 2021, I’ll give Josh Bell projections of 73/26/81/.257/1 in 512 ABs. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this offseason for 2021 fantasy baseball:
James McCann – Signed with the Mets, after the Mets were rumored to sign every free agent. Gonna be weird when they sign Realmuto, Molina, Jason Castro–What, are they gonna stack five catchers behind the plate like they’re playing leap frog? That’s not legal, is it? Seriously, I’m asking because Manfred changes the rules every chance he gets. Though, I just had a funny thought, imagine someone shifted by putting two guys behind the plate and no 3rd baseman or something. Ha, Grey, you do have some crazy ideas and like to talk in third person. So, McCann isn’t much for fantasy–Don’t get me wrong, he’s fine for a late catcher, if you can get him late, but he’s just one of a dozen catchers to draft. Don’t get crazy by drafting him high just because there’s been some offseason buzz about him. For 2021, I’ll give James McCann projections of 51/16/61/.264/3 in 432 ABs.
Nate Lowe – Traded to the Rangers. The Rangers are one of the worst organizations with developing talent and the Rays are one of the best. What I am saying is, Nate Lowe will be a franchise player in under three years. That franchise will be a Wendy’s. I can remember fondly when Nate Lowe was a coveted prospect, it feels like yesterday, because it was. As for the piece the Rays got, Heriberto Hernandez? I looked into my crystal ball and he’s the top catcher in baseball in two years. I guess the Rays had Lowes for days and none of them are pronounced the same, so that was confusing, and Nate needed to be moved, or he really is never going to develop. This will allow Lowe to get more at-bats in 2021, but now I’m worried about what they’ll look like. For 2021, I’ll give Nate Lowe projections of 56/18/54/.248/1 in 402 ABs.
David Dahl – Signed by the Rangers. Super excited for Dahl in Texas, because now there’s no way I’d be interested in him for fantasy. “Coming up next on Dahlas, Who Shot Your Fantasy Value?” Finally, the universe has taken Dahl off my draft board. Thank you, Universe! I owe you one. For 2021, I’ll give David Dahl projections of 54/15/58/.252/6 in 402 ABs.
David Price – Rumors are he might not pitch in 2021. Here’s a confirmed rumor: He won’t be drafted on any of my fantasy teams.
Jose Urena – Signed with the Tigers. “Urena will be the best pitcher, ERA-wise, on the Tigers this year.” I am saying a statement I think is true or false? If false, please explain your conclusion in written form in less than three words. *reading over the answers from my students* Hmm, someone answered “Urethra Franklin” with a smiley face. So, I think that statement could be true, since I don’t like Fulmer, Boyd and Turnbull, and think Skubal and Mize might still be further away. Guess what I’m saying, dogs and five bitc–um, lady dogs, the Tigers will not be good.
Brent Honeywell – Fourth operation on his elbow, and now he just has a bicep, a forearm and one of those holes in Looney Tunes cartoons after they drop an anvil.
Michael Wacha – Signed with the Rays to become the 2021 Comeback Player of the Year, as frequent commenter, Malicious Phenoms, pointed out. Yes, the Rays are operating a mine where they turn blood, sweat and tears into a diamond. I see a lot of fantasy baseball analysis in 2021 is going to be:
<loud voice>This guy was sneaky good last year.</loud voice>
<whisper>In a five-game sample.</whisper>
Wacha did pitch well in a whole 34 IP last year if looking at his peripherals, but he’s also six years from a truly good season. For 2021, I’ll give Michael Wacha projections of 5-7/4.47/1.48/121 in 129 IP.
Hunter Renfroe – Signed with the Red Sox. Ping, ping, ping. That isn’t you transported into a video game. You’re still in the human world, though more concerned with the fantasy. Hey, one love. Me too. Ping, ping, ping is pi** missiles hit by Renfroe off the Green Monster called Ping Missiles from this point forward. That park is gonna push Renfroe’s BABIP up, maybe to .300, which would have him getting close to a .255 average, and pair that with his easy 27-homer power, and Renfroe could be a sneaky 4th to 5th outfielder who produces like a 2nd or 3rd. For 2021, I’ll give Hunter Renfroe projections of 58/27/71/.246/4 in 431 ABs.
Rafael Montero – Traded to the Mariners, and will become the M’s closer, barring any further moves. I got moves like Mariners, moves like Mariners…No? Instead of Jagger. Still no? Yeah, you’re likely right. I love these moves (like Mariners?) because it clarifies who the closer should be vs. me trying to draft five middle relievers, and getting to April and being like, “Why do I own Anthony Misiewicz? Also, who is Anthony Misiewicz?” For 2021, I’ll give Rafael Montero projections of 2-4/3.41/1.06/70, 27 saves in 61 IP.
Jo Adell – Maddon says Adell will need more time in the minors. Man, I hate Maddon. This slaps some of the charm and sparkle off my Jo Adell fantasy, I wrote back in October. I’ll need to give him different projections when my rankings come out in January. I’ve already drafted Adell, and I am so mad I’m moving on now.
Anthony DeSclafani – Signed with the Giants. So weird that he goes by Disco, when his name so obviously fits better with a different genre of music. Please, like you weren’t rocking a skinny black tie and black eyeliner as DeSKAfani in your school while trying to play a trumpet. I don’t want to say I’m going to now draft DeSclafani in every league, but I will try, especially in NL-Only leagues. For 2021, I’ll give Anthony DeSclafani projections of 6-9/4.24/1.28/123 in 147 IP.
Matt Wisler – Signed by the Giants. Wisler might just be in line for saves in San Francisco, or better still, I have no idea who’s in line for saves on, like, 27 of 30 teams, so yeah. Let’s say if I were the Giants, I’d go to Tyler Rogers, as the closer, then eventually to Wisler. For 2021, I’ll give Matt Wisler projections of 1-3/4.31/1.31/59, 4 saves in 52 IP.
Carlos Santana – Signed with the Royals. Fitting since Wal-Mart is the only ones still selling Carlos Santana CDs. The Royals unable to sell their broom with cheese, the McBroom, decide to move on. This might cause a little problem for my Franchy Cordero sleeper. I hope it doesn’t, but are The Ryans (O’Hearn/McBroom) just done? Franchy has a much better glove, and they already threw away one Happy Meal in McBroom, they’re not going to discard all of Franchy’s flies now too, are they? When it’s time to rank Franchy, I prolly will move him down a skosh, and might shave off some of his counting stats. Still like him, though. Any hoo! Carlos Santana! Right! Um, you know him. For 2021, I’ll give Carlos Santana projections of 76/24/81/.231/2 in 521 ABs.
Luke Maile – Signed with the Brewers. The Brewers’ thirst for backup catchers continues, adding to Pina, the Luke Maile cocktail. Reminds me of when the Rangers thought it was a good idea to have Salty, Teagarden, Bengie, Max Ramirez and Matt Treanor. Always good idea to stack your team with terrible catchers. Five dollars says you can’t guess which one of those catchers received the most at-bats.
Adam Eaton – Signed by the White Sox. Adam Eaton is the LOOGY of outfielders. Somehow keeps getting jobs, and Todd Frazier thinks he can hit him. For 2021, I’ll give Adam Eaton projections of 58/9/61/.252/10 in 408 ABs. By the way, as always, Adam Eaton the consummate clubhouse guy:
Things are going great on the South Side pic.twitter.com/zXSwlK49HE
— Razzball (@Razzball) December 8, 2020
Yoelqui Cespedes – Signed with the White Sox. Or Joyeux Yoelqui, to all my French readers, which I’m sure there are plenty. At 22 years old, he was the top international bat with power and speed. Now get Adam Eaton out of the lineup. Thanking you in advance. Cespedes could be an interesting name in dynasty leagues, but I’d guess he’s at least three-quarters of a minor league season away. Could see him as a last round flyer in deep leagues just in case he gets fast-tracked. For 2021, I’ll give Yoelqui Cespedes projections of 12/4/16/.242/3 in 84 ABs, but these are legit shot-in-the-dark projections at this point. Now, excuse me, I have to superspread some Christmas carols with Kirk Cameron…Yoel…Yoel…Yoel…Yoel…
