Yesterday, Jose Berrios continued his 2nd half slide, going 5 IP, 6 ER, ERA at 3.78. His ERA in the 2nd half is 5.37. That’s…uh, what do I call this, thesaurus? Synonymous Rex? No, I’m asking for another word for bad, not for another word for thesaurus. Ooh..What’s this, an ad for a thesaurus film festival? Pulp Fabrication followed by Schindler’s Menu? Very provocative! Saw recently at another site an article dated late-June for how Berrios could be the AL Cy Young. *makes Michael Scott grimace face* His BABIP in the 2nd half is .354 (up from .276) and his LOB% plummeted to 66% (from 78.3%), while his Ks skyrocketed to 10.2 K/9 (from 8), and his walks went the wrong way too, which is up from 1.8 to 3.3 BB/9. It’s simplistic to say he’s missing out of the zone. Which is why I’m going to say he’s also missing in the zone. He’s throwing everything either off the plate or dead center. This all feels fixable for 2020, but there’s no time left and you need to move on in shallower leagues. Now, excuse me, I’m going to take in The Shawshank Refunding and Batfellow in a twin picture show. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Please see our player page for Jose Urena to see projections for today, the next 7 days and rest of season as well as stats and gamelogs designed with the fantasy baseball player in mind.
One day, late-summer, when your cousin, who you don’t like, started posting her kids going-back-to-school pictures on Facebook and a Russian troll farm began mining said pictures and getting your cousin’s kids to distribute propaganda, your so-called ace, James Paxton, decided to show up and be spoken for, after five months of grueling ‘what’s wrong with him/is there something wrong with him/is there something wrong with us for not accepting James Paxton for who he is’ questions. Yesterday’s Paxton line of 7 IP, 0 ER, 1 hit, 1 walk, 12 Ks, ERA at 4.16, was what we signed up for! (If we signed up for it, I didn’t, but that’s semantics.) If you drill down on Paxton — hey now! — his velocity is relatively samesies; his K/9 is fine; his walks are up (3.4 BB/9); his FIP is the highest it’s been in almost five years and he’s getting choked by the long ball like a zipper on a senior. This looks like poor luck and worse command. For 2020, a lot depends on how much the ball is flying out still, and I imagine a lot, but it’s hard to not think he should rebound, no matter what your cousin’s brats’ leaflets say. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
I hope everyone’s Memorial Day was filled with hot dogs, hamburgers, fireworks that were meant to be saved until July 4th but were blown off yesterday so close to your ear that you still have a ringing, and all the other red-white-blue American things one hears backstage at a Larry The Cable Guy concert. My Memorial Day was filled with eating and burping and farting and wearing an American flag t-shirt, but that’s every Monday. Eat a D, ISIS! Yesterday, Gerrit Cole loved the troops more than most starters, posting a line of 6 IP, 2 ER, 4 baserunners, 12 Ks, ERA at 4.02. Woke SpongeBob, “Yo, dem high-ranked starters are da bomb dot org.” Yo, WSB, you don’t sound so woke. “Go f–k yourself.” Wow, WSB, is lit! Cole’s peripherals: 14.1 K/9, 2.3 BB/9, 2.22 xFIP and is technically the number one starter in all of baseball if his luck was neutral. Don’t love trading for a top starter, but it’s hard to find a better buy low right now, due to his ERA. He could rattle off 120 innings of a sub-1 ERA. That’s Murica thru & thru. Not spelling shizz out is Murica too. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Sorry, but first I must purge myself of all Yu song references. If you don’t like that, Yu Can’t Always Get What Yu Want, but, if Yu try, Yu might get what Yu need, because all Yu Need Is Love, and I Wish Yu Were Here. Yu Give Love A Bad Name, but I’m gonna Run to Yu. Even if Rick rolled, I’m Never Gonna Give Yu Up, and shut don’t go up, but Yu do. Yu Take My Breath Away when Yu pitch well, but Yu Never Give Me Your Money, which makes sense since Yu Don’t Know Me. Without or Without Yu Yu (stutterer!) can put together a solid rotation, but Yu Light Up My Life when it’s the Best of Yu. Have I Told Yu Lately he needed to cut down on his walks? Yesterday, he went 5 1/3 IP, 2 ER, 5 baserunners, 11 Ks (zero walks!), ERA at 5.14, and I Know What Yu Did Last Summer (disambiguation: song), but what about now? Don’t Yu (Forget About Me). Did the Rangers closer, Chris Martin, Fix Yu? Remains doubtful, but no walks is Arthur’s Theme (Best Yu Can Do). Any hoo! Yu Darvish might’ve been dealing with a mechanics issue, and maybe now that’s fixed. He does have a near-12 K/9, the only bugaboo is his 7+ BB/9, but if he can tame that he immediately shoots to at least a number two, and stops plopping out number twos. Do Yu Understand (ft Tory Lanez & Gunna). Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Doe, a deer, a female deer that sounds like Chaz Roe. Ray, a drop of eleven Rays! Me, a name I call myself while looking in the mirror to check on my hair–Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t hear you come in. I was just singing a little song I call, “Julie Andrews is One Hot Cougar.” Yesterday, Robbie Ray did the impossible. No, not strike out 11 Rays hitters. I mean, yes, he did that. But that’s not what I found impossible. I find it impossible to like him, and yesterday he made me smile a little. Sure, this ‘impossible task’ is a bit subjective, but get out of your own head, it’s all subjective! Life’s subjective! Wow, I just became an angry philosopher. Call me Socrankies. Robbie Ray’s line yesterday 5 2/3 IP, 0 ER, 7 baserunners (3 BBs), 11 Ks is almost exactly him to a T. He is a 4.7 BB/9 guy and that was his BB/9 yesterday in under six innings. He can’t go deep because of the walks, and his Ks are gorge, but also limit his IP. I don’t hate him as much as it might seem. I don’t own him, but I can understand the allure. I “allurve” Ks. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Trea Turner broke his finger when he squared around to bunt. He hit two homers in his last game, including a walk-off homer, so of course he’s bunting. I mean, OF COURSE. Why wouldn’t he be bunting? You gonna let (fill-in name) just be the best bunter in Major League history? (Fill-in name of a bunter that no one’s ever heard of because no one cares about bunting) is not gonna go down in history as the greatest bunter without a freakin’ fight from Trea Turner? Is he? I mean, IS HE?! What in the holy eff bombs!? Don’t bunt! Turner will likely be out for a month and everything that is wonderful can’t be mine. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Hello, Genie, I have three wishes for this baseball season? My first wish is “No one I own get hurt.” I didn’t buy Kevin Kiermaier, Steven Souza or Troy Tulowitzki, so I made your job easy for you, great, powerful Genie. My 2nd wish is “Everyone I own do well.” I drafted Trea Turner, Luke Voit, Enrique Hernandez, so, really, I’m doing much of the heavy lifting for this wish too. My 3rd and final wish is “All 3rd base coaches send runners home by doing The OA interpretative dance.” Thanking you in advance, Genie. Wait a second, you’re not a genie, you’re Bartolo Colon in Blue Man Group paint. Damn you! So, we’re off and running for another great season, just like the Dodgers’ offense. Enrique Hernandez (2-for-3, 3 runs, 3 RBIs) hit two home runs. Ya know what, maybe Kiké does love me. Next up, Joc Pederson (3-for-5, 3 runs, 4 RBIs) hit two homers, as he hit leadoff. A double dong day from Wong and Joc? Baseball, do you stuff your pants? Also, Max Muncy (1-for-4, 2 RBIs) hit his first homer, saying, “Hey, don’t forget Grey wrote a sleeper post about me?” Then Cody Bellinger (2-for-4, 2 runs) hit his 1st homer; he’s not Cody Malinger! Actually, I’m convinced Dave Roberts could field any lineup and they would score more runs than their opponent for at least 90+ games, especially when they’re going up against some of these teams. Wilmer Flores (1-for-4, 1 run) was the three hole hitter on the Diamondbacks. I love Wilmer and his ubiquitous tears like he’s reading The Notebook, but there’s a bunch of MLB lineups out there that just are not good. Also, in this game, Corey Seager (1-for-3) hit his 1st homer and Austin Barnes (3-for-4, 2 runs) hit his first homer, because BASEBALL’S BACK! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
At one point in Sunday’s draft, Andy Behrens said to me, “I can’t believe you went to $3 on Peter O’Brien. That’s not on brand for you.” You know what; he’s right. Shame on me for briefly going off brand. Even if it was for a millisecond between bids $2 and $3 on the 35-year-old rookie, Peter O’Brien, who has more holes in his swing than Swiss cheese at a shooting range. Maybe the, um, spirit of drafting on St. Patty’s Day overcame me. Maybe I was hoping O’Brien could make me some hurricanes while I waded in my kiddie pool this summer. It’s Andy Behrens’s brand to draft terrible players. That’s not my brand. I realized that soon enough, Dear Reader. Andy went to $4 and I let him have O’Brien. I suppose if things break right, O’Brien will retire at some point this summer and look kindly on Behrens for drafting him, then offer his services as a babysitter. I don’t need a babysitter; my wife is like a decade older than me! Okay, I’m about to drop on you one of the sexiest NL-Only teams. You might want to place an extra-wide condom over your head, before I impregnate your eyes. Anyway, here’s my Tout Wars 12-team, NL-Only draft recap:Please, blog, may I have some more?
As many of you know, I’m in the NL-Only Tout Wars league, so every year I take part in an industry NL-Only league with the CBS peeps to try to find my footing before I go off to New York to take on the heavyweights, and Andy Behrens, who appears to have a healthy BMI. Some might mock, some might mock draft, but this is my draft prep, and am happy to take part in this league. Until about 25 minutes into the draft, and players go for way too much, and I start getting hungry and I just want the whole thing to be over and ermahgerd! But, for those first twenty-five minutes of the five-hour draft, I’m laser focused. For this league, I once again use Rudy’s NL-Only rankings, and his War Room (it’s free with a subscription). I won’t try to get you to buy it anymore. You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make the horse put a cape down so I can walk over the water without getting wet. (If you want a shallower league, play against me and hundreds others for prizes –> Razzball Commenter Leagues.) Anyway, here’s my 12-team NL-Only team and some thoughts:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Daydream Bieber is a homecoming KEEEEEEN-ing-ing-ing-iiiiing. If you could’ve heard that in my head, you’d be like, “Damn, Grey’s got some pipes!” I think I might be tone deaf. Is there anyway to know for sure? Because I hear myself and I sound fine, and then I hear Jennifer Hudson and I’m like, “I sound like her in my head.” Is that tone deaf? My dog, Ted, is colorblind. In other words, Ted doesn’t discriminate. Therefore, maybe tone deaf is the perfect set of ears because it doesn’t discriminate sounds. Also, do you think my dog translates everything I say into barks? I’m a curious person probably why I’m off the Mensa scale — or Womensa scale or non-binarysa scale. Any hoosies! Shane Bieber threw 6 2/3 IP, 0 ER, 6 baserunners, 11 Ks yesterday and dazzled again, though some of those dazzlers were mixed in with frowny faces — sad-dazzlers? Sadazzlers? Frownedazzlers? Trapped myself into a portmanteau loop and there’s no way out! I’d use the Stream-o-Nator for his upcoming starts, but for 2019 there’s very little to be pessimistic about with Bieber. His 9.6 K/9, 1.7 BB/9 and 3.24 xFIP are things of beauty. If he can do that in 2019, Bieber could easily back himself into a top 40 starter season and a fantasy number three with flashes of two. I’m down for that even if there’s some frownedazzlers mixed in! Sadazzlers? Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?