Ryan Gosling wants you to believe in Jazz Chisholm. Did you know that I love Ryan Gosling? Not just because La La Land helped me rediscover my love of Los Angeles. Or because he’s a bird if Rachel McAdams is a bird. Not even because of his squeaky voice in Gangster Squad or his face tattoo in the Place Beyond the Pines. Nope. I love him because he saved Jazz. Baby Goose loves Jazz. And now he’s got that crazy, stupid love for Marlins rookie middle infielder Jazz Chisholm, who had himself a night Friday going 2-for-3 with his third dinger and helped spur the Fish (get hooked!) to victory. The 23-year-old is currently slashing .294/.405/.706 with three jacks, seven runs, and six RBI through his first 12 games. Did I mention he has three steals? Because this is a power-speed combo available in over 65% of fantasy leagues. Mmhm. Dude is smooth like…uh, smooth jazz, I guess. Anyway, as I did my 5-10 minutes of toilet research for this post I noticed many articles referenced some eye-popping stats on Chisholm’s baseball savant page. Most notably, his average exit velocity is way above the league norms (93.9), and his 34.8% barrel percentage is one of the highest in the league. Yes, but what does it all mean, nerd?? It means he’s absolutely demolishing baseballs. Molly-whopping. Mashing. And Fueling that insane .783 XSLG%. Now, obviously, the 12 strikeouts in 34 ABs is more than a bit concerning, but he’s also drawn seven walks and hasn’t been chasing pitches outside the zone on those Ks. If the Jazz Dinger can keep his strikeouts down and continue to be selective with the pitches he swings at there is a rare raw power-speed combo here that would make Emma Stone blush. He could be a 25-25 guy! Gosling says Jazz is “conflict and compromise, And It’s Just… It’s New Every Time. It’s Brand New Every Night!” Intoxicating enthusiasm from The Gos and he’s right. Grey told you to BUY and all that Jazz could be worth a speculative add wherever you need middle infield help. Time to Jazz up your fantasy team!
Here’s what else I say Friday night in fantasy baseball:
Yimi Garcia – 1.0 IP, 1 hit, K, SV (3). He’s the closer in Florida. That means he can get you saves AND he doesn’t have to wear a mask in a Starbucks. Social distancing is for squares and Yimi will get right up in your personal space.
Mike Yastrzemski – 2-for-4, run. Baby Yaz’s finally starting to heat up. What he really needs is a 9th inning game-tying homah over the monstah to really get him going.
Daniel Castano – 5.0 IP, 3 hits, ER, 2 BB, 0 K. No one is more of a sucker for Marlins starters than me, but the zero strikeouts make me cringe more than the bad Tiktok dance. Pick him up if you hate yourself.
Anthony DeSclafani – 5.0 IP, 4 hits, ER, 0 BB, 4 K. ERA at 1.06. DeScals has been more than serviceable through his first three starts and I deem him stream-worthy versus the Phillies next week. That’s right, stream away! You have my permission.
Nick Solak – 2-for-3, HR (3). Went back-2-back with David Dahl who also homered. These are both players I like and was excited about before I saw how bad the Rangers’ offense was going to be.
Jorge Lopez – 5.0 IP, 2 hits, 2 ER, BB, 8 K, 1st win. He didn’t allow a baserunner until the 4th inning. I don’t know who you are but at the very least I’d probably stream you against Texas again.
Nick Castellanos – 2-for-4, HR (5). Slashing .321/.345/.698. As the rest of the Reds o-fence has cooled, Nick is still like, “wait, I thought we were doing this thing!” He like-a the, sauce, yes? Helios! Get some more sauce for da man!!
Jeff Hoffman – 6.0 IP, 7 hits, ER, 3 BB, 4 K. Ngl (<–super popular acronym rn (<–also very popular acronym fyi (<–triple nested acronym just for fun))) I’ve never heard of Jeff Hoffman until Friday night. He gets an easy start versus Arizona next time out, could be worth a stream in your NL-Central Only league.
Joey Votto – 2-for-4, HR (3), 2 RBI. JoVo has three dingers in the past week. That’s funny, I thought he couldn’t go home until they reopened Canada. *dodges tomato* Thank you! Whata great audience. I’m here all week.
Andres Gimenez – 1-for-4, run, SB (1). Yes. This! More of this, please. Like, a lot more. Amed Rosario also hit his first homer. Once a Met, always a…disappointment? Here’s two players I thought could have big upside with Lindor being traded and so far have done very little to make me feel smart.
Giancarlo Stanton – 1-for-4, HR (2). Who woulda thought the Yankees would be this bad. Fans were throwing objects onto the field and not just in the street like a normal Friday night in NYC City. Obviously, the Yankees won’t be this awful all year, but you should 100% definitely savor it while you can.
Michael Wacha – 6.0 IP, 1 hit, 0 ER, 2 BB, 9 K. To be fair to the Yankees, Wacha probably pitched his best game in five years. He gets the Royals next week. I might consider the prospect of maybe thinking about mulling over the possibility of contemplating whether or not I should review the option of potentially picking him up. I still don’t know for sure though!
Joey Wendle – 3-for-5, 2 runs as the Rays scored 8 runs on 11 hits. Joey Joe Joe is hitting close to .350 in the past week. Can one of these infielders get hurt so Wander can get here already? What light through Wander a hamate bone breaks?
Andrew McCutchen – 2-for-5, run, 3 RBI. Segura also had three hits and Realmuto homered. Ol’ man Cutch did his thing as the Phillies had a day. Cutch is slashing .171/.292/.293 which should go up but the power-speed combo we once loved seems to have been left in Pittsburgh like a cold french fry sandwich.
Zach Eflin – 7.0 IP, 6 hits, 2 ER, 6 K, win. So Eflin good! I don’t know why I don’t own Zach on all my Eflin teams. He’s been extremely efficient to start the year, with one rough start against an unreal ATL offense. I’d actually look to buy Eflin if I could, before his owner’s realize what they Eflin have.
Max Scherzer – 7.0 IP, 2 hits, 0 ER, 2 BB, 10 K. My name is Max. My world is fire and blood. I also strike out all the Diamondbacks I see. I wear this metal mask on my face so I can field grounders with my teeth. I have crazy eyes to intimidate opposing batters, and I rescue the most beautiful virgins in my Dystopian future because I have nothing better to do.
Taylor Widener – 6.0 IP 4 hits, 0 ER, 2 BB, 3 K. OK fine. You have my attention now. Can’t imagine he can sustain that 1.59 ERA, but here we are. Funny thing that’s not so funny is, if he gave up 5 more runs and struck out 10 more batters I’d be all over him. He gets the Reds next week, who he struggled a bit with last time out. I’m not 100% sold yet, but 10 more Ks and 5 more runs, and I could see streaming him.
Ronald Acuña, Jr. – 1-for-4, 2 RBI. Hey! Just saying hey. Also really just wanted to type that ñ. Alt-164!
Willson Contreras – 2-for-4, HR (3). A gentleman in my dynasty league chose to keep Willson Contreras over Javier Baez which puzzled me at first. Now I’m starting to think he knows something I don’t know. Is Willson the Falcon or the Winter Soldier in this dynamic duo? Who’s the new Cap then!? Also, these “shocking surprise cameos” aren’t as shocking or surprising when I have no idea who the character is. Cool shield though! I miss WandaVision. Gosh, she’s pretty.
Marcell Ozuna – 3-for-5, RBI. OZUNA heating up. OZUNA homer soon?
J.T. Brubaker – 6.0 IP, 4 hits, ER, 8 K, 2nd win. Brubaker found his bread and butter Friday night. His 1.76 ERA and 1.04 WHIP is sparkling and the 12/1 K/BB has me more than a little intrigued. Monocle JT. Who says the Pirates can’t have nice things? He gets Detroit next time out and he could be just another streamer or, Brubaker could be the best thing since sliced bread?
Colin Moran – 1-for-3, HR (3). Grey told you to BUY. You’d be a Moran not to! You moran!
Gregory Polanco – 1-for-4, HR (2). My 2015 self is so excited about his team right now.
Frankie Montas – 6.0 IP, 2 hits, 0 ER, BB, 7 K. This is exactly what you pictured when you drafted him way too early. After getting crushed by the Dodgers in the opener, Montas has strung together back-2-back high-quality starts. The A’s are starting to win games again which means Montas could be a big part of that.
Jose Urena – 7.0 IP, 7 hits, 2 ER, 2 BB, 8 K. The 17:11 K:BB is nice and after two ugly outings Urena put together his best start of the year Friday night. He’s a scary option even with a delicious match-up with the Pirates next week.
Lou Trivino – 1.0 IP, 1 hit, SV (2). BUY. Diekman set him up with a perfect inning striking out the side. Methinks this is still the preferred order of operations for Manager Bob Melvin, but that could change tomorrow. Diekman did look good. Regardless, Louie is the A’s closer right now and you definitely should add him if you are like into that stuff. Like saves and stuff.
Jed Lowrie – 2-for-4. Gret told you to BUY. Did I mention the A’s are heating up and probably about to string off 10 wins in a row. It’s what they do.
Andrew Heaney – 5.1 IP, 2 hits, 2 ER, 3 BB, 6 K, W. I mentioned this last week I think, but most of last week was a COVID vax induced haze so I could be wrong, I like a few of these Angels starters an awful lot. I just like them more on other people’s teams.
Justin Upton – 2-for-4, Grand Slam HR (2), 4 RBI. OK. Now my 2015 fantasy team is having a really great day.
Jared Walsh – 2-for-4, HR (4), 3 RBI. I can make bold claims like the rest of the ESPN insiders and I won’t hide mine behind a paywall for no one to dispute. Walsh is the best hitter in the Angels lineup right now! COME AT ME! Wait–Shohei who? Huh? Oh yeah, I forgot about Mike Trout. Hmm. Well, surely he’s a better hitter than this Pujols guy. Whoa, 3000+, you say? Welp. OK, maybe I need to do more research, but my claim still stands!
Mitch Haniger – 3-for-4, run, RBI. Hitting .351/.371/.632 and leading off. Me likey, but oh man, do I wish you were Jarred Kelenic right now.
Jose Urquidy – 5.2 IP, 5 hits, 2 ER, 7 K. Held the Mariners without a run until the 6th when they got him for two runs and that’s when I broke down. Banging on a trash can. I don’t ask from a lot of you guys. A simple shutout. Is that so hard? Do pitchers still do that even.
Walker Buehler – 6.0 IP, 7 hits, 2 ER, BB, 4 K. Probably Walker’s most difficult match up yet in 2021 came against this San Diego team but my dude looked like the Ace he is. He’s here, Ben Stein, you can mark him as “showed up to game” on the attendance sheet. He’s really more of a whiffer than a Walker though!
Ryan Weathers – 3.2 IP, 1 hit, 0 ER, 2 BB, 3 K. The rookie faired well versus a Dodgers lineup I’d bench most of my pitchers against. He threw half his pitches for strikes and topped 97 mph on the radar gun. He get Milwaukee next week and if he can stick in the rotation then yeah, I’d stream the S out of that P!
Zach McKinstry – 3-for-6, 2 RBI. Dodger’s extend win streak with help of Zach McKinstry. Hey, that rhymes! And he was a BUY. Cody Bellinger has a fracture in his fibula which means players like Zach and Luke Raley (2-for-5, 1st HR), should get more playing time as long as they continue to hit baseballs. Zach’s slashing .333/.361/.727 and leads the team with 11 RBIs. Need I remind you, this is a team with Mookie Betts on it. I’d own most players with even the slightest proximity to Mookie, just to get a little closer, so Zach is an add for sure. Also, I miss you, Mookie!
Manny Machado – 2-for-4, 3 runs, 2 SB (4). Hi, Manny. I hear you and I see you and I want you to know I think everything you’re doing right now is fantastic.
David Price – 2.0 IP, BB, 4 K, 1st win. I feel like David Price is the type of player who would get his COVID vax on his pitcher arm just so he can complain about soreness and get a couple days off. He’s also the type of player who can come into a game in extra innings and completely shut down the opposition for as long as you need him to. You take the good with the bad I guess!
Fernando Tatis, Jr. – 1-for-6, HR (2). Hmm. Shoulder looks…fine? Noice. He also made a pretty egregious error, his sixth in just five games, but let’s blame that one on the shoulder.
Byron Buxton – If you had “hamstring” in your Byron Buxton injury pool I have good news for you.
Corey Seager – 1-for-5, go-ahead HR (2) in 12th. The first match-up of what the MLB hopes will be a storied rivalry between LA and San Diego and it was a match-up for the ages. If by ages you mean it took five hours and I definitely feel older after sitting through it.
Thanks for reading! Questions? Problems? Complaints to management? Advice, small gifts or large bribes? Please leave it in the comments below. Join us next Saturday for another Friday recap as fantasy baseball continues next week, all week long!
