Sawx Wet Wilyer The Sox

The 1927 Red Sox are answering the age-old question, is it better to be loved or feared? Neither, it’s better to hit some freakin’ dongs! Louie Armstrong knows where it’s at when he questions, Wilyer or Won’tyer be my baby? By the way, that’s like Should I Stay Or Should I Go. Bro, “If I go there will be trouble, but if I stay it will be double,” sorta clinches it, no? You stay and it’s double. That means you go, dumbass. Same with Wilyer or Won’tyer be my baby? If you have to ask, Louie, it’s a no go. So, the star of the barrage last night was Wilyer Abreu (2-for-4) with his 18th and 19th homers. Next up, Jarren Duran (2-for-4, 2 runs) had a slam (15) and legs (16). Excellent idea for the Red Sox to trade for the “good” Duran. Also, Caleb Durbin (2-for-3, 2 runs, 4 RBIs) had a slam (11) and legs (13). Making all that possible, Davis Martin (5 IP, 9 ER, ERA at 4.13). There’s a lot of good matchups right now for teams that sold at the deadline. The Sawx at home are not that matchup. After all that hitting, I kinda wanna highlight Patrick Sandoval (5 IP, 2 ER, 10 baserunners, 5 Ks, ERA at 3.38). He might not be all the way back yet, but he’s one of my biggest pickups on the pitching side of things right now. He can be a 3.50 ERA, solid strikeouts guy, and a team that never loses. Red Sox have the mandate of heaven right now. Just run with whomever is hitting or pitching for them. Even Nick Sogard (2-for-4, 2 runs, hitting leadoff) looks good! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Eddys Leonard – 0-for-2 as he was called up by the Giants. It’s Eddy’s or Eddies. Please, Leonard. Though, I like to pronounce that as Leo-Nard, so I might be the one with the broken brain. Or is it broken Brian? Leonard originally signed with the Dodgers in 2017. When he signed, the Dodgers said, “He’s likely better than Barry Bonds, who wants to trade us for him?” Freakin’ liars! I don’t know why it took Leonard so long to get to the majors, his MiLB stats seem fine: 16/8/.272 this year, as a 25-year-old, and 22/9/.296 in 2021 as a 20-year-old (though, that was Low A levels). He’s so forgotten, he was listed as a Brewer on CBS’s site. He’s paid his dues, and looks like he can play any position. It’s an NL-Only play for now.

Osleivis Basabe – 1-for-5, 2 RBIs and his 3rd homer, 3rd homer in four games, and hitting leadoff now. Likely the hottest hitter in all of basabe.

Blade Tidwell – 5 IP, 2 ER, 7 baserunners, 3 Ks, ERA at 3.18, as he was recalled. Wow, haven’t thought of Tidwell since he caught that touchdown at the end of Jerry Maguire. Tidwell has the quan, and a 99 MPH fastball, solid curve and slider with terrible command (4.4 BB/9 in Triple-A). NL-Only seems appropriate or Streamonator.

MacKenzie Gore – 6 IP, 0 ER, 6 baserunners, 4 Ks, ERA at 4.55. As I was saying about Davis Martin going against the Sawx in Boston was bad? Vs. the Giants is good.

Luinder Avila – And Stephen Kolek will both undergo Tommy John surgery. Someone got a two-for-one!

Bobby Witt Jr. – 3-for-5, 2 runs, 2 RBIs as he was activated from the IL. Kevin from ESPN’s “Get Him In Your Lineup” Department said, “My cousin is opening a store for wands and capes called Presto-ration Hardware, and I invested.”

Joe Ryan – 5 1/3 IP, 4 ER, 9 baserunners, ERA at 3.65. Ugh, man, he sucks now. I can’t even express to you how little trouble the Royals’ lineup should cause him. Just ending up being dogcrap being beat by dogshizz.

Josh Bell – 2-for-4 and his 14th homer. No one tell him the trade deadline passed.

James Wood – Hit the IL with an oblique strain. It’s supposedly a minor strain. Let me go get my lofi noisemakers.

Jesus Luzardo – 8 IP, 0 ER, 6 baserunners, 7 Ks, ERA at 3.36. He’s back to easing you into comfort, so when he drops the 3 IP, 8 ER on your ass it hurts even more.

Ryan Weathers – 6 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunners, 6 Ks, ERA at 3.79. Guys do come out of a “dead arm period,” and Weathers might’ve done exactly that. Powering through, guys and five ladies!

Jazz Chisholm Jr. – 1-for-3 and his 17th homer. Jazz hands!

George Lombard Jr. – 1-for-2 and his 1st home run. Derek Jeter who?! Hall of Fame, former shortstop for the Yankees. I know, Random Italicized Voice, it’s a figure of speech. From who, Minka Kelly? I grabbed Lombard in the shallowest of my leagues, and I would grab him everywhere.

Hunter Dobbins – 6 1/3 IP, 2 ER, 7 baserunners, 4 Ks, ERA at 3.60. Hunter Dobbins, voiced by Andy Serkis, has better peripherals than you might think. Unless you know he has a 8.1 K/9, 3.2 BB/9, 46.6 GB% and 3.99 xFIP. It’s by no means ace stuff, but it’s usable in deeper mixed leagues or Streamonator.

Tarik Skubal – 6 IP, 2 ER, 6 baserunners, 6 Ks, ERA at 2.81. Hold up, did you hear he’s on the Dodgers? They let them ruin baseball again? Not cool, Dodgers!

Kyle Tucker – 2-for-3 and his 10th homer. From Yucker to Tucker, the story of Kyle’s season. I do believe Tucker’s coming out of his season-long funk, and when I hear “I do believe,” in my head I sound like Foghorn Leghorn.

Dansby Swanson – 3-for-4, 2 runs and his 17th homer. Swanson homered off Tarik Skubal in the third inning, and the Dodgers traded for him in the 4th and the scorer gave that home run to the Dodgers.

Nico Hoerner – 2-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 7th homer. By the way, Edwin Diaz sucks now. He does not look good. He gave up this home run.

Javier Assad – 5 2/3 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners, 3 Ks, ERA at 3.58. Right now, the only Dodgers hitter who is hot is Tucker. Yes, that’s as crazy as it sounds.

Agustin Ramirez – 0-for-2 as he was recalled (and pinch-hit for Mack). After his demotion, he went 7/17/.254 with a 21.6 K%, which makes me think he continued to have problems with contact, as he did this year with the Marlins (his HardHit% dropped from 35 to 30%). Since Hicks is gone, Agustin can DH and platoon in at catcher and Heriberto moves to the outfield and–Meh, who cares. I don’t mind the flyer on Agustin if you’re struggling at catcher, but he’s really more of a two-catcher league guy until we see something.

Grant Holmes – 6 IP, 0 ER, 6 baserunners, 5 Ks, ERA at 3.67. Whaddup, Holmes?! His stock? No, this was home vs. the Marlins and Streamonator loved it. That’s about it.

Austin Riley – 2-for-3, 2 RBIs and his 13th homer. He’s now hitting 8th. That’s the world’s longest woof.

Ozzie Albies – 1-for-4, and his 19th homer, hitting .263. Ozzie biting off more with the bat!

Jackson Chourio – 3-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 14th homer. Wanna look up in August and see Chourio at 30/30 and just getting going. Feel like he has that kind of ability. Might take me not rostering him.

Andrew Vaughn – 1-for-3 and his 5th homer, and hasn’t done much of anything over the last six weeks, which I know because I was looking up his stats to see if we had a schmotato, and, no, not yet.

Brandon Sproat – Optioned to the minors, because he sucks. And imagine how much he would suck on another team.

Logan Henderson – 6 IP, 2 ER, 5 baserunners, 8 Ks, ERA at 2.70. Call him Brew Rasmussen and make me happy.

Jacob Gonzalez – 1-for-3 and his 5th homer, hitting .237. That’s five homers in a Pirates uni, and I can’t for the life of me figure out why the White Sox sent him there. Were they trying to confuse the Pirates because they also have a Gonzales? That’s easy man, Gonzales is “Went to the Diamond Store.”

Endy Rodriguez – 1-for-3 and his 6th homer, hitting .268. Because I’m already working on the Buy column for Patreon, I know Endy is once again hot. Been like this since he was called up.

Jared Jones – 4 IP, 3 ER, ERA at 4.02. Tough matchup where you likely shouldn’t have even started him.

Mickey Moniak – 1-for-3, 3 RBIs and his 19th homer, and 2nd homer in two games. He’s a Moniak! Moniak! Oh no! And he’s hitting like he’s never hit before! (Except last year.)

Freddy Peralta – 3 2/3 IP, 7 ER, ERA at 5.37. [Mets dancing around] “See it wasn’t us! It wasn’t us! Haha! We told you!” Um, Mets, you were the ones who signed him to begin with. “Uhh…”

Liam Hicks – 2-for-5, 4 RBIs and his 15th homer, hitting .284. He hit a grand slam off Gabriel Hughes. You know Gabriel Hughes. Very famous MLB pitcher, Gabriel Hughes. Nothing? Huh, guess you don’t follow the sport.

Emerson Hancock – 6 IP, 3 ER, 10 baserunners, 6 Ks, ERA at 3.33. Okay, joke times over! Light is flashing! Time to get off the stage! Bring up the headliner, Kade Anderson!

Riley Greene – 3-for-5, 2 runs and his 16th homer. Guy’s got the life of Riley! Also, in this game, Gleyber Torres (1-for-5, 2 runs, 2 RBIs) hit his 7th homer and Dillon Dingler (2-for-5, 2 runs) hit his 24th homer. Still working out a conspiracy theory, where Cal Raleigh was great last year, and is known for having a giant ass, and Dingler is great this year and is known for sounding like a turd dangling. Stay tuned! Or not. Your call.

Troy Melton – 7 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunners, 4 Ks, ERA at 1.58, moving to 7-1 record. Is Melton the top call-up this year for pitching? Tigers got themselves a little something with Melton and Skubal–Oh, wait.

Nick Kurtz – Hit the IL and diagnosed with acute on chronic volar plate tear of the MCP joint. Undergoing ultrasound guided PRP injection today. Oh, just that! The ol’ chronic volar plate tear of the MCP joint! If I had a nickel every time I had a chronic volar plate tear of the MCP joint, I’d have zero cents. Sigh. It’s a thumb thing and it sounds bad. I don’t want it to be bad. It feels bad.

J.T. Ginn – 6 IP, 3 ER, 7 baserunners, 5 Ks, ERA at 3.51 as he was activated from the IL. That makes losing Kurtz to the IL better (no, it doesn’t).

Trey Yesavage – Left with knee discomfort. That could hinder the Jays’ playoff chances.

Hayden Wesneski – 6 IP, 2 ER, 6 baserunners, 4 Ks, ERA at 3.86. Those of you who sat on him all year are being rewarded. Mean’s while, I sat on Musgrove and I have hemorrhoids. As I said last time, “My biggest problem with Wesneski is he is just returning from Tommy John, and TJ, besides hosting donkey shows, hurts a pitcher’s command and Wesneski relies on his command, so bingo-bango, bad recipe. How’sever, Wesneski could be a solid addition in all leagues if he returns with his stuff.” And that’s me quoting me!

Taylor Trammell – 1-for-3, 2 runs, 3 RBIs and his 6th homer, hitting .238. He was at 216th overall on the 7-day Player Rater and hitting .200 in the last week with Nadir Bupkis-type numbers, so I tried to see if he was a schmotato. Maybe now, but wasn’t.

Eduardo Rodriguez – 5 2/3 IP, 5 ER, ERA at 2.71. EdRod is finally back to sweet, sweet can (ass).

Nolan Arenado – 1-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 16th homer. Hey, let me show you these original Pink Floyd liner notes I bought at auction. One version by Roger Waters calling everyone in the band an ass, and another set by everyone else calling Roger an ass. They’re haphazardly over by this open window–NOOOOO!!! Torenado!

Randy Vasquez – 6 IP, 0 ER, 3 baserunners, 1 K, ERA at 4.19. That would’ve been a nice stream that you would’ve had to have your marbles lost in the wash beforehand to even attempt, since Randy been pretty terrible for months.

Nick Pivetta – Left his rehab start with an arm issue, likely, and I don’t know why he didn’t go for surgery three months ago. Or even six months ago if it cropped up last year. Feels like this happens so much with pitchers.

Sean Manaea – 6 IP, 2 ER, 12 baserunners (5 BBs), 7 Ks, ERA at 4.33. Looking up if 7:5 K:BB is good. Getting a 404 error.

Bo Bichette – 2-for-4 and his 11th homer. Boba Chette thanked the Mets for not trading him (no one wanted him).

Carson Benge – 1-for-4 and his 12th homer, hitting .264, and he’s unjinxable, because he plays for the Mets.

Angel Genao – Being called up by the Guards. Itch wrote just a few days ago, “We might say Guardians SS Angel Genao (22, AAA) is having a breakout season if he wasn’t already a top 100 prospect heading into 2025, which turned out to be a down year for the switch-hitting shortstop, Cleveland’s favorite prospect player type. Genao has been especially hot this summer, slashing .392/.496/.588 with a 17.3-to-6.3 percent walk-to-strikeout ratio over his last 28 games, picking up four homers and four steals over that same span. Brayan Rocchio has solidified his spot with a solid season, but 2B Travis Bazzana has been among the league’s worst defenders at the keystone. Perhaps they’ll shuffle him out to the grass at some point, and I’d like Grey under the grass.” Are we serious here? Genao homered twice just yesterday, and Guards must feel his bat warrants consideration over Rocchio. I’m guessing; I doubt they move off Bazzana, unless JRam is more hurt than they’re letting on. Of course, they can lose Arias, but he’s a bench guy. They call up Genao to platoon? Hmm, I am literally thinking out loud here. Anyway, decent flyer in deeper mixed leagues, but I don’t know the playing time yet.

Joey Cantillo – 5 IP, 2 ER, 9 baserunners, 5 Ks, ERA at 3.87. But gave up three more unearned runs for the never-fun box scare.

Cade Povich – 6 IP, 0 ER, 8 baserunners, 7 Ks, ERA at 3.91, as he was recalled. Wow! What a great start! Let’s see who he faced…Wade Meckler is the best hitter in that lineup? Hmm, Povich had a 5.94 ERA in the minors this year, so the Angels are worse than a minor league team? That doesn’t sound too inaccurate. So, Streamonator, I suppose, or just start anyone vs. the Angels (and O’s).

Yennier Cano – 1 IP, 0 ER, ERA at 2.09, and his 2nd save, as Kittredge worked the 8th. I see what the O’s did! They weren’t using their best closer (Cano) in the 9th inning before the deadline because they were trying to sell Wells and Kittredge. Well, it half worked, and I would pick up Cano.

Jorge Soler – Angels stamped him with the dreaded DFA. Which means he’s Down For Anything! Where the sun don’t shine, Soler comes from behind! [Cancel Police break down door] What did I say?! For reals though, who is playing for the Angels? It’s Trout and Neto and hope the stadium falls below sea level? I understand wanting to DFA Soler but usually teams DFA guys when they have better guys to replace them and don’t need to play out the rest of the year not having enough players to field a team.