Welcome to your star spangled edition of AMBULANCE CHASERS, Razz peeps! In honor of Independence Day, I have put a red, white, and blue vinyl table cloth down and laid out some lukewarm potato salad. I am on a budget. So, I hope you like Dr. Thunder. Also, there will not be any fireworks because […]Please, blog, may I have some more?
Please see our player page for Taylor Trammell to see projections for today, the next 7 days and rest of season as well as stats and gamelogs designed with the fantasy baseball player in mind.
(NOTE: THIS POST WAS RELEASED EARLY THIS WEEK ON OUR PATREON. IT’S $10/MONTH.)
I heard Kendrick Lamar say “Keep playin’, man” in the song We Cry Together — a great song for a couple’s first dance at their wedding, by the way — and I had a vision. I heard “Keep playin’, man” and I saw Nick Senzel. He was “playin’.” Out on the field and just “playin’.” What a world. From top prospect in 2018, with the label “future All-Star as soon as 2019.” Just absolutely overcoming all odds, from losing a blonde dame in Golden Gate Park that gave him Vertigo to talking like Jimmy Stewart that drove his friends and family crazy to googling “Nick Senzel injuries” and having Google say, “C’mon, man, you need to be more specific.”
Seriously, look at that. 364,000 results in 0.47 seconds is Nick Senzel’s injury history to a tee. In just the first four rows listed there, he had four different injuries in one month in 2019. I’d laugh if I wasn’t worried it would somehow cause a butterfly to flap its wings into Senzel’s oblique and injure him. With all that said, Nick Senzel was the top option on the 7-day Player Rater rostered in under 25% of leagues, so here’s to him finally making it all come together and “keep playin’, man” for at least another week. Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
For It’s looking like a quiet week in FAAB as we head into the weekend. The player who will likely draw the most attention is Gabriel Moreno. There are plenty of solid streaming options though. The Guardians, Rockies, Padres, Nationals and Phillies have favorable schedules if you are in need of a bat to stream. […]Please, blog, may I have some more?
Thank you to The Lineup Builder (@Derek_Favret) for covering for me yesterday. I am popping into the Sunday slate as reciprocation. I wrote much of today’s column from the road while traveling for business and must say I was a little tempted to throw Lane Thomas in as my highlighted player of the day then […]Please, blog, may I have some more?
As we head into Memorial Day weekend, this week has once again reminded me of the occasional agony that ensues due to the myriad of options available to fantasy owners in shallow leagues, options which simply aren’t there for those of us in the deep league world. On Wednesday, I managed to have both Joc […]Please, blog, may I have some more?
On my teams with Juan Soto, Trevor Story and Cody Bellinger, there’s been very little to celebrate. I paid $15 for Tom Arnold to send me a Cameo video telling me it would be okay. You remember Tom Arnold: Guy who is famous for sleeping with Roseanne Barr. Honestly, that should make someone famous. That and getting your junk Ginzu’d are valid reasons for fame. More so than your sister was in a sex tape. If I were ranking them for fame, 1A) Marrying Roseanne, 1B) Getting Junk Ginzu’d, Z) Sister was in a sex tape. Any hoo! Trevor Story (2-for-4, 3 RBIs and his 7th and 8th homer) had a big game — on the road! — and maybe finally there’s light at the end of the tunnel. As Geoff and I discussed on this week’s podcast, Story’s Launch Angle hasn’t been great. He’s hitting way too many ground balls, and pulling everything. The result: Pitch on the outside corner, and he rolls over it to the shortstop. Maybe there’s a fire lit under him with the thought of getting out of Colorado. Think this could be a boon for his value: If trading for Story, the team will be contending, so the lineup will be better. Not all stadiums are bad. You telling me Story in Yankee Stadium is bad? Are you telling me this? Don’t tell em this. Also, the reinvigoration of a pennant chase can activate him like charcoal. Either Coors or elsewhere, he needs to correct his Launch Angle, and hopefully yesterday is the right direction. My other solution is spitting blow darts into his ribs while he’s at-bat, so he lowers his back elbow and it forces him into an uppercut swing. But that might be illegal. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
(NOTE: THIS POST WAS RELEASED EARLY THIS WEEK ON OUR PATREON. IT’S $10/MONTH OR $13/MONTH WITH AN EXTRA WEEKLY PODCAST.)
Everyone’s always claiming world famous fried chicken, or world famous chili or world famous BBQ. If I had a restaurant, I’d do something that no one else is claiming… “Come on down for our world famous cauliflower — you like cauliflower sometimes? Well, you’re gonna love these florets!” Can I make extraordinarily tasty cauliflower? No, not at all! But it’s all about expectations. That’s Jonathan India: World famous cauliflower, because it’s about expectations. By the way, Jarred Kelenic was trying to make world famous pizza, what a dope! Jonathan India went very late in deep league drafts, then he sorta was….Well, he just was, and no one cared. In April, India hit one homer and .239. In May, he once again existed: 2 HRs, .220. In June, India got hot. *long elaborate Bollywood dance* With time to make adjustments and less pressure than, say, maybe a Jarred Kelenic, India began to hit everything in the zone, and hard. He’s on everything with O- and Z-Swing% falling in line and Barrel% going way up. India also has a solid Sprint Speed, so he could get into some steals. Look at us, India and I just exceeding very low expectations! Now, I just need a name for my cauliflower restaurant. The Floret Florist? The Merchant of Florets? You Cauliflower, I Called It Delicious? Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Schoop, there it is! Jonathan Schoop continued his mashfest in Chicago Friday night as he reached base in each of his plate appearances going 4-for-4 with a double, a walk, two home runs (8, 9) and 5 runs batted in. Oh Jonathan, each time I think I’m out, you pull me back in. Tell me Jonny, what’s it like on the sun, because you’ve been more or less the hottest hitter in baseball hitting .565 over the past week with the monster five bombs and 10 RBI. He’s also got multi-hit games in six of his past 10. Grey told you to BUY and thinks he saw Schoop at CVS last week. Lol! CVS! He buys things at pharmacies just like us–how relatable! Probably picking up some Icy Hot to cool off that flaming hot bat. I asked Salt and Pepa of popular 90s rap group Salt-N-Pepa what they thought about adding Jonathan and they said, “I wanna Schoop, baby. Schoop, ba-doop!” and you wouldn’t know it but they’re actually huge fantasy heads. What more can I say, you all know by now what Jonathan Schoop’s ceiling is. He’s not Tatis all of a sudden but he is a hot little potato right now and is batting close to .400 over the past two weeks. The 9/15 K/BB is also nothing to sneeze at–unless you’re allergic to OBP. These kinds of numbers, ie barrages of home runs, will help your fantasy team. He’s still available in over 50% of leagues, but 50% of those are likely abandoned and managed by the super intelligent zombies in Army of the Dead. Yes the tiger, too. And even the undead know to add this guy while he’s hotter than a Billie Eilish slumber party. Yep, I’m definitely a Lost Cause. Regardless, time to scoop a Schoop!
Here’s what else I saw Friday night in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
(NOTE: THIS POST WAS RELEASED EARLY THIS WEEK ON OUR PATREON. IT’S $10/MONTH OR $13/MONTH WITH AN EXTRA WEEKLY PODCAST.)
Hearing nary a peep on Tony Gonsolin. I have my ear up to the computer screen for Tony Gonsolin questions, and, instead of Tony Gonsolin questions, all I hear is the 100 monkeys fighting over 99 typewriters in the other room, as they type up this reprot–Give Ling-Ling the typewriter! He’s Spellchecker Monkey! Sorry, it’s not easy being the monkey meditator. Maybe in the past two months people forgot the excitement over Tony Gonsolin, so due to some lazy-ass monkeys who I’m…*screams into other room*…about to fire, let’s just look at what I wrote in my Tony Gonsolin sleeper from this past preseason, “Tony Gonsolin has some kind of special numbers when it comes to contact rates. Ace-like. Just the Swinging Strike rate (14%) and the Swing rate (50.9) alone. To put that to you in real world terms, he’s around the strike zone, and hitters are ready to get on him, until the ball falls out of the zone and they miss.” In that post I compare him to Plesac and Maeda, which seems silly now, but you have to remember those guys are less good this year because they lost their command somewhere. If Gonsolin has his command, and in the rehab starts it looks he does, he could be at worst a fantasy number two to three for another 75 IP this year. Grab hmm! *screams into other room* Him! Him! Not hmm! That’s it, no bananas for anyone! Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
I’m not a conspiracy theory guy. Sure, I think Big Onion made onion rings circular rather than like French fries because they want you to use more onions with each fried treat, but other than that, and maybe 1,500 other conspiracies, I am pretty grounded in reality. Okay, I also expect to see Kate Winslet jumping on a trampoline at a Sixers’ halftime dressed as Mare of Easttown, but reality. It’s where I am, except I truly believe Great American Ballpark is somehow stuck in 2019. Balls are still flying out there. Maybe it’s the one park where they didn’t secretly instill a humidor. Either way, yesterday was bomb-ass Philly over spaghetti in Cincy. Andrew McCutchen (2-for-3, 4 RBIs, hitting .209) hit his 8th and 9th homer, and finally moved out of the leadoff spot. Great Awakenings, literally with Joe Girardi. Next up, Odubel Herrera (3-for-6, 3 runs, 3 RBIs, 3rd and 4th homer) was moved to the top of the order, and should now move on even the shallowest league’s radar. Then, Rhys Hoskins (2-for-4, 3 RBIs) hit his 12th homer, and he’s filling in for Bryce quite nicely as the three-hole hitter — Rhys is Brycely? Hmm, not bad. Even Ronald Torreyes (2-for-5, 2 runs, 2 RBIs, 1st homer) got into the act. And I thought Torreyes were just in a sunken place. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
The Cleveland Starting Pitcher Factory (housed in a former The Old Spaghetti Factory) made its mark by producing low-priced alternatives that reduced meatball consumption. You might remember the host, Giuseppe, from the Dominican Republic, always mentioned his father loved “The Godfather.” Well, there’s another low-priced starter conveyor belt spitting out alternatives with nasty stuff, The Tampa Bay Rays Starting Pitcher Factory, which is in the back alley behind one of the 29 local-area Hooter’s ristorantes. The workers/coaches all wear hosiery, and manage to produce one fine-ass starter after another. Today’s starter was Shane McClanahan (4 IP, 2 ER, 5 hits, zero walks, 5 Ks), and excuse me while I put my eyes back in my head. His 92 MPH slider alone was like, “I’ll have some cheese, and the check please.” He partnered that pitch with a 101 MPH fastball, and I looked to grab him in every league. Honestly, I hadn’t seen stuff like that in some time from a prospect. I’d think of him like Michael Kopech. Solid handful of innings, who is rosterable in all leagues, but don’t drop anyone too valuable. The big concern for McClanahan is sometimes he losses the feel and the plate, so he could be prone to roofies, but I don’t put on hosiery and walk into a back alley of a Hooter’s asking for a factory tour for nothing. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Howdy-do, Razzgals n guys. Thanks for dropping in another depressing issue of Ambulance Chasers, where ambulance drivers are going bananas and your fantasy lineups are paying for it. Let’s just jump right in this week, since injuries are piling up faster than $DOGE-ers are piling into the bandwagon.Please, blog, may I have some more?