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As a fantasy baseball ‘pert, I have a responsibility to give you the most likely to help you lede buy each week. This is not that. This is irresponsible. This is walking into the theater of Razzball and screaming fire, then, as everyone screams and runs out, slowly, and methodically eating everyone’s left-behind popcorn. By the by, what do you call the snacks in the theater when going to see a Kirk Cameron movie with your church group? Left Behind popcorn. Any hoo! I am choosing to be irresponsible because the upside is too great. Gavin Stone needs to be stashed now. You missed out on Kris Bubic? Shucks. You didn’t get Drey Jameson? Oh poo. You failed to acquire Bryce da Elder? Shame on you. Well, you have one more chance (until Brandon Pfaadt is called up). That’s grabbing Gavin Stone. I’m so shocked he hasn’t been called up yet that I thought that between me writing this for the Patreon on Wednesday and posting this on Friday, he might be called up. He’s a 10+ K/9, low-3 BB/9, and the Dodgers’ number two in the making. Here’s what Itch’s said, “(Stone’s) coming off a preposterous season covering three levels with a 1.48 ERA and 1.12 WHIP. Change-up dominant arms with plus command can cruise through the minors and get corrected at the highest level, but Stone has enough fastball and enough slider to tunnel with that killer cambio. Most importantly, he’s a good pitcher. Knows what he’s doing out there. He struck out a lot of guys but realizes you don’t have to strike everyone out. His best skill as a pro has probably been home run suppression, which I tend to think is generally underrated. He’s allowed ten of them in 212.2 professional innings. Ten? I’ve dreamt of punching Grey more times just in the past minute.” What the heck? Grab Stone now, before he skips away. (Clever? Methinks so!) Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:


Shea Langeliers – Could’ve sworn he changed his name to Citifield Langeliers. Hashtag nailed it. High five me right now! No? Hmm, okay. Langeliers is a bat-first catcher, who went 19/5/.283 in Triple-A.

Endy Rodriguez – Speaking of bat-first catcher prospects. I was. Just before. Right now the Pirates are playing Delay — little on the nose! — but Endy should be up soon.

Isaac Paredes – Nearly made Paredes the lede buy this week, but I stared at his projections for a while and was pretty yawnstipated. He’s a 20/3/.270 hitter in the best case scenario. It’s okay.

David Villar – Still very much want Casey Schmitt to happen, but clearly Schmitt happens only on bumper stickers. For now, Villar is playing, hitting for power, and will be hitting .190 soon.

Harold Ramirez – Every team has a Luis Garcia, but every team has a guy I confuse with Harold Ramirez. I’m always like, “Hey, are the Tigers going to play Harold Ramirez? What’s that? He’s not on the Tigers? Oh, right. He’s a Marlin. I mean, Padres! Um, Twins? Rays? Oh, cool.” Then forget that 10 seconds later like a Jack Russell.

Edouard Julien – Here’s what I said the other day, “With Joey Gallo going to the IL, Edouard Julien is being called up. They didn’t give me much time to practice spelling his name because I thought Ed, o, u, ar’d up Juli en August. Julien had a .440 OBP in the minors the last two years, and went 19/20 in 121 games. Here’s Itch on him, “He’s listed at 6’2” 195 lbs but never looked that big to me, not that it matters. Julien makes the most of every pitch, riding that third rail between passive and selective. I just dinged Emmanuel Rodriguez, another Twins’ prospect, for the same, but Julien walks about ten percent less often than Rodriguez (19.3 percent in 113 games). Strikes out less, too. He lacks the eye-catching upside to pass the top two on this list. Julien is much more likely to help in the near term after posting a 144 wRC+ in a full Double-A season, but I’m a bit skeptical about the bat speed on Julien. I’d like to take a bat to Grey’s noggin.” All right, not cool! I could see grabbing Julien in every league, but he feels more like a 15-team mixed league and deeper guy.” And that’s me quoting me and Itch!

Luis Rengifo – He’s also in the video at the top of the page where I’m joined by Tiger Woods.

Wilmer Flores – I replaced Oneil Cruz on a few teams with Wilmer Flores, and then I cried like Wilmer Flores.

Bryson Stott – Has been one of the hottest hitters for hits, and not much else as it shows on the 7-day Player Rater.

Ji-Hwan Bae – Might be on an island all by himself with Bae, which I need to take a plane to with Bills, Clinton and Gates, and on this very random island that isn’t shady at all, Bae went 8/30/.289 in Triple-A last year, and makes the most sense as the Pirates’ new leadoff hitter without Oneil.

Geraldo Perdomo – *walking around Florence, Italy* Hey, anyone see the Perdomo? He’s a-one of the a-hottest hitters!

J.D. Davis – Low-key funniest name in baseball is that this guy’s name is Jonathan Davis and the J.D. stands for Jonathan Davis, so his full name is Jonathan Davis Davis. That is not a joke. Well, it is, but not intentionally.

Jake Burger – White Sox are deploying a Burger/Sheets platoon, which sounds like an alien misremembering what to call a Dutch Oven.

Chas McCormick – With Altuve out, Dusty Baker has managed to move everyone up in the order, except for Kyle Tucker. The biggest boost so far has gone to McCormick.

Luke Raley – Is this guy good in the big picture? Not Raley.

Franchy Cordero – Grab him while he’s hitting Franchy flies. Will also accept calling them Freedom flies.

Rob Refsnyder – DMX used to love the Refsnyders. RIP. Also, RIP my Duvall shares. Your candle burned out quicker than Shelley Duvall.

Stone Garrett – Between Gavin Stone and Stone Garrett, this is the best time for stones in baseball since Tim Raines changed his name to Rock because of crack. Stone Garrett looks like Adolis Garcia, if Adolis was in a terrible lineup and didn’t have an everyday job.

Josh Lowe – If you fail to get a job after a year-plus of being a top prospect, the entire fantasy baseball will stop caring about you as a player. Doesn’t matter if they never failed, just not having a job and everyone moves on. That’s happened to Lowe.

TJ Friedl – There’s guys with big upside in this post, and there’s guys who will just be worth rostering, even if they don’t have huge upside. Friedl’s like a teamster smoking, leaning on the latter.

Alex Call – Since I featured Stone Garrett, it felt only right to mention Alex Call since, well, Call actually does play everyday and is hitting leadoff.

Austin Hays – As you see on our Player Rater, we have roster percentages, and Hays is rostered in 96% of leagues. On ESPN, he’s rostered in 36% of leagues. So, there’s 60% zombie teams in ESPN? Yeah, maybe. I don’t know, tee be aitch. I’m tempted to use our roster percentages for this post, but I worry this post will be all guys like Brent Rooker, guys who are not rostered and likely shouldn’t be in most leagues.

Taj Bradley – Just gave you a Taj Bradley fantasy. It was written while pointing at a cow and saying, “I want to eat you.”

Matthew Boyd – I don’t really trust Boyd, but this is a Streamonator call, like the call it makes to a radio station.

Steven Matz – This is another Streamonator call. “Please stop playing That’s What Friends Are For. It’s making cry and I’m rusting!”

John Schreiber – He’s quietly putting up incredible stats going on three years. Call him John Schreliever because he was born this way, says a guy who just spent five minutes in a Lady Gaga subreddit.

Pierce Johnson – Has been the go-to Rockies closer, and you should take my word for it and never, ever google Pierce Johnson.

Andrew Chafin – Should be the closer in Arizona, but the Dbags are not enjoying Chafin. Maybe get rid of the jorts!

Jose Alvarado – Check out the latest tool — no, I’m not talking about Chafin Dbags again — the Reliever Log tells you exactly what you need to know to chase saves, then there’s the Relievonator, which just helps you go potty–Wait, no. It’s reliever projections.

A.J. Puk – Would you be more or less interested if his name was A.J. Vomit?


Chris Sale – I’m gonna give y’all a do-over. An “Oops, you made a boo-boo, and I’m going to ignore it.” A “You didn’t listen to me and usually that would make me angry, but I’ve taken a few of these mislabeled gummies and I’m walking around and hugging strangers and telling them they are special and I love them.” Told you not to draft Chris Sale but a lot of you tuned me out. Ignore me once, shame on you. Ignore me twice, shame on you twice. Sale’s ERA results aren’t just telling you he’s been dogshizz, but his peripherals are saying the same thing. His velo is down, he’s throwig his sinker way too much, and his bread-and-butter slider looks like it’s sliding like Oneil Cruz. Can you get literally anything for Sale in a trade? You should be able to with his K/9 still looking good. I wouldn’t trade him for a two-passenger giant turtle with a glued-on Kia emblem but I would go to our Fantasy Baseball Trade Analyzer and explore options.