Please see our player page for Stone Garrett to see projections for today, the next 7 days and rest of season as well as stats and gamelogs designed with the fantasy baseball player in mind.

Here we are again talking about another weekend filled with Albert Pujols long balls. The ageless wonder caught another (hanger Sarge,) and deposited it deep into right centerfield. Victimizing another pitcher as he steamrolls to retirement, passing Alex Rodriguez for fourth place on the all-time home run list. A story the greatest writer could not […]

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Frequent commenter, PK, said the other day, “We have Hunter Greene, and now Hunter Brown in the big leagues. Just need a Hunter Orange to complete the redneck trifecta!” And I haven’t stopped thinking about that, so now you also have to think about it. Hey, PK, save the genius stuff for me! Or, Hunter Brown (6 IP, 0 ER, 3 hits, 1 walk, 5 Ks), as was the case yesterday in his MLB debut. At some point, the Astros have to stop creating top flight arms, don’t they? Wait a second! You know how the A’s went from attracting fans with OBP to allowing fans to have sex in the bleachers (sorta true, google it, if you don’t believe me), from Moneyball to NoMoneyball to Hornyball. Maybe the Astros are going from the Cheaty Cheaty Bang Bang Scandal to some other scandal we don’t know about yet that turns guys like Framber into aces. Mentioned this on the podcast the other day, which is on Youtube, and will be out on our regular podcast channel today, when discussing Hunter Brown. Astros get so much more from their starters than anyone expects. Why? Is something suspicious going on? Sorry, cheat once and I always think you’re cheating. With Hunter Brown, people actually expect nasty stuff, and with good reason. He has a filthy 85 MPH curve, 96 MPH slider — that’s right, 96 MPH! That’s the fastest slider in the majors this year, outside of deGrom — and a 97 MPH fastball. If you didn’t watch him, all the pitches looked devastatingly good. Now’s the time when I turn this back into the here and now and for this year, you’re likely better off with the Streamonator than holding Brown. Also, holding Brown is how one gets sepsis. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

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Like fine wine, some Rookies are simply better with age.  Now I am not talking Rooke of the Year winners such as Jose Abreu or Ichiro Suzuki, who dominated upon their arrival to the MLB at a more advanced age.  Those guys had a leg up as stars in the native leagues prior to taking the MLB by storm.  No, we are talking about the guys like Jose Martinez, Shane Spencer or Ryan Shimpf who took the league by storm after, sometimes well after, their 25th birthday.  Sometimes they come out of nowhere as their MLB team can simply no longer deny their production or they find their way into a lineup due to injury or trade.  Either way, these guys can be jolts to our fantasy lineup as the season comes to a close.  This week, we dive into two different rookies to see if they are aging like a fine wine or more of a moldy cheese.

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(NOTE: THIS POST WAS RELEASED EARLY THIS WEEK ON OUR PATREON. IT’S $10/MONTH)

“The best part of any candy bar is the stuff inside the chocolate, so I want a candy bar where the nougat, cookie wafer, crushed peanuts are on the outside of the chocolate. Mouth feel matters too, so the crunchy bits on the outside need to have a soft, chewy texture. Swiss and dutch chocolate are for losers. This candy bar needs to made in The Lou, so I want Missouri chocolate. What is Missouri chocolate? Whatever Willie McGee likes. Willie, please wave.” Willie McGee waves from the back corner of the conference room. We see now Lars Nootbaar holds court in front of the Lars Caandy people. He continues, “Also, I want it to be written “caandy baar” on all the bars. Two A’s, so we need to change all signage around this 5-mile-wide candy empire, that I’ve cordoned off with traffic cones. If you want to work for Kit Kat, get out now! The door’s over there! The only Snickers I want to hear about are chuckles at the water cooler when Willie McGee makes a joke! Do you understand me?” Lars is now screaming into one exec’s face, who is beginning to cry. “Wipe those tears from your face, and go make me a candy bar! Two A’s!” Lars Nootbaar isn’t just a demanding candy CEO, building a nougaty empire, he’s also been one of the hottest bat in the majors for the last month. On the 30-day Player Rater, he’s in the top 40 overall, and he’s now leading off on most days vs. righties. Since the Cards are famous for creating players, it’s only appropriate that they went into a 7/11’s candy aisle and got an idea. This hot Nootbaar won’t melt in your hand, or your fantasy team, so grab him, before he quits baseball to be a full-time candy CEO, like Willy Wonka, who was originally drafted to be a closer, until he discovered he was better stopping Gobs. Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

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Diamondbacks OF Corbin Carroll was recalled shortly after my last article, Stash List Volume 6, Songs for the Jung in Summerwhich feels like a win for the new Collective Bargaining Agreement. The league tried to lead these snakes and birds to water, but it’s just snakes drinking at the moment. Makes sense I guess, for the birds to wait their turn, but snakes don’t strike upward real well. Bird should be able to dip in for a sip, if she’s quick about it. Baltimore is three games out of first wild-card spot, two games out of third, so they’re well within striking distance of any or all three of the teams in front of them. The Sig and Elias braintrust imported from Houston has worked wonders in Maryland. Hot-hitting outfielder Colton Cowser was promoted to Triple-A this week, so the coming storm continues to gather just outside AL-Eastern cities. I just think it makes sense to jump him straight to the majors. I realize Kyle Stowers is ahead of him in the time-served column on the pecking-order spreadsheets, but they could go to him if Cowser falters. I suppose they could just easily do the reverse and might be setting up exactly that. Every day matters for them, and I feel like Cowser is more likely to help a team win games right now than Stowers. I haven’t even mentioned Gunnar Henderson yet. He’s reportedly joining the squad today, so they’ve got that going for them, which is nice. Baltimore could be fun to root for when they stop handling this stretch run in the most cynical way capitalistically possible. I realize this horse has been laying motionless between us for quite some time now, but you know who they could really use in that young lineup? A consistent, patient, veteran bat like Trey Mancini. 

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Just yesterday, Prospect Itch featured Corbin Carroll as the number one prospect to stash, and now he’s called up. Maybe Itch can make things happen with his words, which is why I’m worried when he talks about locking me in the trunk of a car and driving me into the desert. Also, driving into the desert is Corbin Carroll! Hashtag nailed it! He’s not looking for holes though, and he’s got no holes in his swing. He was also number one on Itch’s Top 25 for Dynasty Leagues. I don’t know if Gunnar Henderson is called up this year, my guess is no, but I wasn’t sure on Corbin Carroll either. I did give you a buy on him about six weeks ago, where I said, “Corbin Carroll has to be on the short list of 2023 ROY candidates if he stays down. Yeah, yeah, keyword: Short. Hardy har har! You tall guys think you’re so cool! ‘Hey, look at me, I can get cereal down without standing on a chair!’ Aren’t you fantastic?! Sounding like an alien who is just discovering old HBO shows, Corbin Carroll is under six feet. Much like Mookie Betts with both power, speed and average. He is the total package like Paul Orndorff.” And that’s me quoting me! I grabbed him in my shallowest league, and I would grab him in any league.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

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(NOTE: THIS POST WAS RELEASED EARLY THIS WEEK ON OUR PATREON. IT’S $10/MONTH)

“Hey, I’m Guy Frieri shouting from a cherry-red car and we’re rolling out to some of my favorite Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives! Today, we’re going to Red Bank, New Jersey to visit a little hole in the wall called Aunt Flow’s, where Joey Meneses has established his special take on Italian food. This puttanesca red sauce? You’re not gonna wanna miss!”

After Guy Frieri parks his car; high-fives a patron; randomly runs into a retired NFL player who is still wearing his jersey; tries a deep-fried seafood platter; does the “hunch,” and remarks about how many items are on the well-laminated menu, he gets to the back kitchen, and addresses Joey Meneses, “You’re gonna drop in that mirepoix and let it develop nice color, is that right?”

Meneses looks at Guy then the camera and shouts, “Leave me alone! It’s that time of the month and I didn’t invite you back here! Get out! Aunt Flow’s is closed to business for three to five days!”

So, Joey Meneses has left Aunt Flow’s for 28 days a month to hit for power on our fantasy teams. I did some conjecture on the podcast this week — available to watch now on Youtube! — about Joey Meneses’s hot hitting and Josh Bell’s slump. My thoughts were punctuated with some um’s, but the gist was: If there’s no one in Washington to hit, pitchers will challenge Meneses, not pitch around him, and just let him hit solo homers. On the reverse, Bell now has a good lineup, and pitchers are being more exact with him. It’s conjecture, but con makes a ject out of U R E. Okay, that makes no sense, but you hear me. Meneses was a 20 homer guy with a .286 average in Triple-A this year, but he was about seven years too old for that level. He’s a Quad-A player but a Quad-A player with power is exactly the kind of guy that could excel in the final weeks when pitchers are like, “Meh, what the eff, just pitch him some meatballs.” Did someone say meatballs?! I’m gonna meatball you! Get out of my kitchen! Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

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I know it’s stone fruit season, but check out the plums on the Diamondbacks! They called up Stone Garrett (2-for-3). Mean’s while, Corbin Carroll remains a stone’s throw away. What’s that all about? This guy may be Stone, but it’s still Rock and Carroll to me! Garrett’s numbers are goofy, and goofy is good. 28/15/.278 in 385 ABs should definitely get the berries tingling. Here’s what Prospect Itch has said, “(Diamondbacks’) AAA numbers are always inflated, but Garrett’s plus power and .375/.430/.764 slash line look good enough to mix in with that lineup, at least. Garrett’s a guy with big raw power, who gains a little value in an environment where it’s harder to clear the fence. He’s looking at near-term playing time and has enough speed to help us in roto leagues if he gets the time. If only I had time to beat up Grey.” Dude, cmon! In an NL-Only league, I’m absolutely interested. In mixed leagues, I’m kinda wait-and-see for now, but that could change very quickly. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?