LOGIN

Please see our player page for John Schreiber to see projections for today, the next 7 days and rest of season as well as stats and gamelogs designed with the fantasy baseball player in mind.

(NOTE: THIS POST WAS RELEASED EARLY THIS WEEK ON OUR PATREON. IT’S $10/MONTH)

As a fantasy baseball ‘pert, I have a responsibility to give you the most likely to help you lede buy each week. This is not that. This is irresponsible. This is walking into the theater of Razzball and screaming fire, then, as everyone screams and runs out, slowly, and methodically eating everyone’s left-behind popcorn. By the by, what do you call the snacks in the theater when going to see a Kirk Cameron movie with your church group? Left Behind popcorn. Any hoo! I am choosing to be irresponsible because the upside is too great. Gavin Stone needs to be stashed now. You missed out on Kris Bubic? Shucks. You didn’t get Drey Jameson? Oh poo. You failed to acquire Bryce da Elder? Shame on you. Well, you have one more chance (until Brandon Pfaadt is called up). That’s grabbing Gavin Stone. I’m so shocked he hasn’t been called up yet that I thought that between me writing this for the Patreon on Wednesday and posting this on Friday, he might be called up. He’s a 10+ K/9, low-3 BB/9, and the Dodgers’ number two in the making. Here’s what Itch’s said, “(Stone’s) coming off a preposterous season covering three levels with a 1.48 ERA and 1.12 WHIP. Change-up dominant arms with plus command can cruise through the minors and get corrected at the highest level, but Stone has enough fastball and enough slider to tunnel with that killer cambio. Most importantly, he’s a good pitcher. Knows what he’s doing out there. He struck out a lot of guys but realizes you don’t have to strike everyone out. His best skill as a pro has probably been home run suppression, which I tend to think is generally underrated. He’s allowed ten of them in 212.2 professional innings. Ten? I’ve dreamt of punching Grey more times just in the past minute.” What the heck? Grab Stone now, before he skips away. (Clever? Methinks so!) Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

(NOTE: THIS POST WAS RELEASED EARLY THIS WEEK ON OUR PATREON. IT’S $10/MONTH)

Giants’ President Farhan Zaidi puts some soil on top of a newspaper clipping of Jonathan Villar’s DFA’ing. Waters it every day for five weeks straight, then what slowly crops up from it is David Villar. Do they have to now feed and take care of David Villar or does he take care of himself? Are there rules to caring for a newly sprouted David Villar? I don’t know, but there’s nothing Farhan Zaidi can’t do. Zaidi is the original Zaddy, amiright? What is a Zaddy? I have no idea. In order to give you some cold hard facts (facts that I place in an Igloo at the foot of my bed), I went to look at the Giants’ lineup to make sure David Villar was an everyday starter, and that team is so hilariously bad. Their lineup is, “What happens when reasonably thought-out platoons go very bad.” Joc Pederson should be in a platoon? Okay, and so should Lewis Brinson. LaMonte Wade Jr.? He’s gotta be in a platoon, and so should Austin Dean! J.D. Davis? Oh, he must be in a platoon. Great, because Wilmer Flores has to be in a platoon too! The only problem? One of these platoons would be fine, but to have seven of them? Ha, my gawd, bro. That’s awful. Someone said they could have an entire lineup of platoons, and no one asked if they should. So, is David Villar in a platoon? I don’t think so. He seems to be the only one not in a platoon. Of course, the only reason any of this matters is because he’s been crazy hot, and has big-time power. In 84 games in Triple-A, he hit 27 homers, and .275. In the majors, his average is likely not going to ever be that high, but the ball off his bat might. Bam! Hashtag nailed it! Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

(NOTE: THIS POST WAS RELEASED EARLY THIS WEEK ON OUR PATREON. IT’S $10/MONTH)

This week, instead of going to the 7-day Player Rater, and just grabbing guys who have been hot, I’m going to let the computer pick. “Siri, being a computer, you’re smarter than me, so I don’t even have to say what I’m going to ask for, right? You must know.”
“I do know, Grey. There are fifteen Etsy sellers who make full-body pillows in the shape and spirit of Giancarlo Stanton. Would you like me to purchase one for you?”
“Uhh…Haha, no. Please grab me the top pickup in fantasy baseball, Siri.”
“At 2% rostered, Jose Siri is the top Siri in fantasy baseball.”
“Okay, Siri, great, but are you giving me Siri because he’s a Siri and you’re a Siri? I don’t need a Siri, per se.”
“Excuse me, but you are the one who asked me.”
“I’m asking you, Siri, but not for a Siri.”
“Have you tried Alexa?”
“Fine, Siri! Give me Jose Siri.”
“Are you sure? I could just give you that seller’s information about the full-body pillow.”
“Siri, are you playing games with me?”
“No, of course not. Though, Jose Siri would love to play games with you. He’s toolsy as all get-out. Capable of big-time power, speed and has been playing a lot for Kevin Cash. Of course, you can’t ever expect Kevin Cash to play a guy every day. Would you like me to find a way to replace Kevin Cash?”
“What? No! …But, if you were, how traceable is it?”
“There’s just one replacement in your area named Joe Maddon.”
“No! Let’s go back to full-body pillows. Just to, ya know, browse.” Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

What’s poppin, Razzpimples? Bullpen update time! Don’t forget, the Razzball Bullpen Chart is manned by yours truly and updated like every single second (not really, but I stay on top of thangs for the most part). And directly below are your Top 10 most valuable RP over the last week, courtesy of our super cool and filterable Last […]

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Hola, fellow español speakers! Today’s word is Triston Casas (1-for-4)! Let’s break it down into parts! Triston is pronounced Tris like a Tris Speaker. Not the old-timey baseball player, but like a speaker who is saying the word Tris. Next part is ton like, “I ate a ton of churros and now I am sneezing cinnamon sugar.” Say the last name with me now…Ca-thathss. The last part you say like a Spanish snake. Like a snake you find in the desert outside of Barth-a-lona. A snake with a lisp. Try the whole thing now, Triston Cathathss. Bueno! *maracas around room* Cathathss! Cathathss! Cathathss! So, yesterday or today or last week doesn’t really matter for when the Red Sox called up Triston Casas, but if you think he was called up on Sunday simply because now he’s earned his place, like he got the ring from Gollum and deposited in the mouth of some volcano or whatever that quest was of those hill trolls, you’re sadly mistaken. Triston Casas has been ready for a while, but baseball is still broken for when prospects are called up. Rather than change the world’s problems today, let’s look at Triston Casas. Hey, what do you know, I already gave you my Triston Casas fantasy! So ridiculous that I figured (correctly) he’d have 300+ ABs this year. Because he’s been ready! If you don’t care what I say, here’s what Itch said, “Triston Cases has learned late at-bat traits to help him hang against a variety of experienced pitchers, and perhaps he’s carried some of those hang-in-there strategies to early-count situations against pitchers he’s never seen before. Whatever it is, I like it. Unlike Grey, who I hate.” Really not cool! I’d grab Triston Casas in every league. He’s got elite approach and power. For what he will do the final month? No one knows, because it’s a small sample, but worth finding out. Finally, Casas is home. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

“Hologram Harry Caray leading the nation, nay, the world in Take Me Out To The Ballgame at the Field of Dreams game, wait, what’s this? Hologram Tupac, Hologram Babe Ruth and Hologram Barbara Bush have joined him, embracing. It’s East Coast, West Coast, Midcoast and Southcoast coming together, as only holograms can! If holograms can come together, then why can’t we, as people, come together? Rob Manfred has done it again!” *wavy lines* Oh my God, we’ve been inside a Rob Manfred’s dream sequence! It was a Field of Dreams dream! AHHH!!! I need to shower! So, the Field of Dreams game went off again without a hitch. Oops, I mean without a Hitch, meaning Will Smith and Kevin James both were not in attendance. For some reason, MLB thought the Reds and Cubs should be rewarded that showcase. If you’re going to have two teams who are trying to lose games, and dismantle its stars, then why not do a Major League theme in Cleveland? One thing baseball has is decent movies. Why not do a different one each year? Bull Durham theme one year in a MiLB park; The Natural theme one year in a lightning storm; The Rookie theme one year with all old players. The possibilities are endless! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?