One super quick word about the top 20 2nd basemen for 2020 fantasy baseball and all the 2020 fantasy baseball rankings, each ranking appears insanely long and it is, but I imagine in a lot of leagues guys won’t have eligibility, because I’m using the extremely lax Yahoo position eligibility. Without further ado because this post is longer than the combined length of the Gutenberg Bible and Steve Guttenberg’s IMDB page, I mention where tiers start and stop and all projections are mine and cannot be reproduced without the express written consent of Major League–Damn, I’m being told by Major League Baseball I did not have express written consent to use their warning. It was expressly written for them. You guys! Anyway, here’s the top 20 2nd basemen for 2020 fantasy baseball:
ALL PROJECTIONS ARE BASED ON 60 GAMES PLAYED, DUE TO COVID-19. BE SAFE OUT THERE!
1. Gleyber Torres – This is the first tier. This tier goes from here until Villar. I call this tier, “Zesting the dry skin on your heel.” By the tier name, zesting is used to elevate a dish, so it’s real fancy. Zesting dry skin on your foot is nasty. So, this tier makes like you’re doing something fancy, but it’s just gross. First time I can remember a position, besides catcher, that didn’t have one guy in the top 20 overall. The top top 2nd basemen, for the lack of a better word, suck. I want no part of any of this first tier. Thankfully, there’s plenty of guys later to draft. Anticipating this, I wrote quite a few 2nd basemen sleepers who will be mentioned later. As for Torres, maybe the Yankees will play the Orioles in a 37-inning three-day extra inning game, and Gleyber will get an extra 12 homers in one game to pad his stats. I got burned last year writing a schmohawk post on Torres, so I won’t go down that road again. I also can’t trust him. He is not elite in any underlying category. His xSLG of .497 was the same as Evan Longoria. His xBA of .262 was same as Travis d’Arnaud. His Launch Angle is very extreme, which produces a ton of fly balls. That’s not bad in today’s game. Not gonna start calling him Josh Phegleyber and write him off as a 25-homer, .240 hitter, but I think he’s closer to that than his 38 HRs, .278 previous season. He did lower his Ks, and fly balls do equal homers with Manfred blowing juice between the seams of baseballs, but, yeah, I just can’t get on board. There’s cheaper power and some sexy sleepers later. 2020 Projections: 33/12/35/.264/2 in 204 ABs
2. Jose Altuve – Was very close to putting Altuve number one and Gleyber 2nd, but Altuve came up just–Don’t say it, don’t say it, don’t say it, don’t say it, don’t say it– Just short. AHHH! “Hello, Father, I have a confession to make.” “Go ahead, son.” “I’d like to confess to never skipping an opportunity to mock Altuve’s height.” “Okay, say three Hail Marys.” “Three Hail Marys? Shouldn’t I do three short passes while Altuve sits in a pocket?” “Now say five Hail Marys.” “Tough, but fair.” Altuve continues to hit for power every year, even if he’s too short to ride the Mad Hatter Teacups, but last year was kinda obscene. He had a 32.5% fly ball rate and 23.3% HR/FB. His career HR/FB is under 10% after seven seasons. If he falls back to earth, it won’t be a far trip, but he could end up a 15-homer, 7-steal guy. That’s not good. As for the whole cheating scandal and buzzers under Altuve’s shirt and the like, it doesn’t matter. People have been stealing signs as runners on 2nd since the 1880’s. A hitter can know what’s coming and still be totally lost on a pitch. 2020 Projections: 30/8/34/.303/3 in 216 ABs
Sending this to my dry cleaner to see if this crease is normal, will report findings pic.twitter.com/lU6DicFL8S
— Razzball (@Razzball) January 16, 2020
3. Jonathan Villar – As I said when he was acquired by the Marlins, “I was driving the Villar bus hard last year. I wrote a sleeper post about him; told everyone to draft him; started a move on dot org petition to get him to hit leadoff and have 700+ plate appearances. It all worked! You people drafting him in the top 25 overall have literally lost your mind. Go to the nearest library, because that’s only place I know left with a Lost & Found and ask them if you can look into their cardboard box of lost notebooks and mittens for your brain. The Marlins is about as good a landing spot as you’re gonna find for him. He won’t be challenged for playing time. It’ll also dip his runs and RBIs a hair. Speaking of hares, Villar’s fast, right? Well…I think I’m going to have to write a Villar schmohawk post, so I won’t go too deep into the weeds here, but I’ll leave you with this. He ranked 182nd overall in sprint speed, about the same as Mike Tauchman. Um, WUT.” And that’s me quoting me! 2020 Projections: 31/6/25/.257/11 in 209 ABs
4. Ketel Marte – This is a new tier. This tier goes from here until Moistasskiss. I call this tier, “EarthGang.” They are my new favorite group. They sound like Outkast pre-Stankonia. Mirrorland album is just ridiculous, and ridiculous is good in this example. This tier gets me as pumped up as EarthGang. As for Marte, he had a better sprint speed than Villar. Marte made adjustments to his swing year over year. His Launch Angle went from an ugly 5.7 to 11.5, and he was top 15 overall for xBA. He absolutely killed fastballs — .349 and 19 homers. He’s always had great plate discipline and bat control. His minuscule 7.8% Swinging Strike rate coupled with a 83.6% Contact percentage are beautiful. The big question mark will be if he can hold his newfound 19% HR/FB. I think he can, and be a top 20 hitter overall next year. For full disclosure, I nearly had Marte in the above tier of guys I didn’t want because any time a guy goes from a 14-homer guy to a 32-homer guy it raises red flags, but the more I dug in on Ketel, the more he seduced me. Perhaps I’m just drunk. 2020 Projections: 35/10/29/.308/3 in 221 ABs
5. Ozzie Albies – He just turned 23 years old in January. I knew he was young, but that still stopped me. In the last two years, his stats are: 24/14 and 24/15 with a career average of .279. I’m not going to project the huge uptick in power, but it has to be in the range of possible outcomes. An at least 10% chance he goes 32/20/.280, right? Considering he just signed a 17-year contract for $57,000 and a new Cybertruck what an absolute bargain the Braves got. 2020 Projections: 38/9/29/.291/6 in 232 ABs
6. Keston Hiura – Another guy who has a legit chance to be a top 20 hitter overall next year. See, 2nd base isn’t as busted as it seemed at first. You just have to hang back for a round or four. Would’ve put Hiura even higher if it wasn’t for some risk. Speaking of which, don’t be the person who says to me, “I don’t understand why you have this guy above this other guy when the 2nd guy clearly has better projected stats. What gives, you insanely handsome mustachioed man?” There’s more than just stats that go into ranking. The chances they will actually reach their projections is a good first thing to keep in mind. Yes, Keston’s or Ketel’s or Albies’s or a bunch of guys might seem better than Altuve’s projections, but Altuve has been doing this for so many years that Altuve’s safer (which might be why he needs to sit in a safety seat in a car). As for Keston, in a half a season, he went 19/9/.303. *staggering around like Redd Foxx, clutching my heart* It’s too beautiful for words! If you combine his Triple-A and major league stats, he went 38/16/.315. Okay, I’m going to take a dip in the Arctic Ocean to cool off. I mean, woo-boy, you the greatest hitter of our generation? (I still use my college ID from 20 years ago for discounts, so I am in his generation.) The concerns: His 30.7 K% meant he needed a .400+ BABIP to hit .300+; his sprint speed was around 300th overall about the same as the two-steals-in-a-good-year Travis d’Arnaud, and his xBA was .266. He did hit the ball hard (50% Hard Hit) and 13.9 Barrel%. Hard not to have some concern about him, but I also want him on my teams for that absolutely gorge upside. 2020 Projections: 30/10/34/.264/4 in 211 ABs
7. Max Muncy – Already went over him in the top 20 1st basemen for 2020 fantasy baseball.
8. Mike Moustakas – Here’s what I said when he signed with the Reds, “Signed with the Reds. The Reds love them some infielders. Allow me to list: VanMeter, Galvis, Votto, Eugenio, Kyle Farmer, and now Moistasskiss. That’s six, after releasing Jose Peraza, and not counting Psycho Killer, who sees the occasional start at 1st base. VanMeter could see some time in the outfield, though the Reds have six of them too. Cincy is resurrecting the Big Red Machine, only this time it is just the actual size. *chisels statue of Aristides holding globe on his shoulders* That’s Aristides, the Punisher. Sorry, my lack of knowledge about Greek mythology will always be my Achilles’ heel. Any hoo! Moistasskiss is about as locked into production as you can find. He’s basically the Reds’ Eugenio but at 2nd base.” And that’s me quoting me! 2020 Projections: 29/13/33/.252/1 in 211 ABs
9. DJ LeMahieu – This is a new tier. This tier goes from here until McNeil. I call this tier, “Slutty Fungi.” By the tier name I mean, you think it’s a good idea to dress up on Halloween in a slutty costume to be the Slutty Fun Guy, but then everyone asks you if you’re Slutty Fungi, and it backfires horribly. That’s this tier. They seem like a good idea but they’re moist spores. As for LeMahieu, already went over him in the top 20 1st basemen for 2020 fantasy baseball..
10. Eduardo Escobar – Colombia University aka Escobar.Edu does hit a lot of fly balls, so that’s good for his power, but 35 homers like he did last year? I’d ask what drugs you’re on, but it’s obvious when talking about Escobar. 2020 Projections: 29/10/35/.264/1 in 211 ABs
11. Whit Merrifield – Honestly, I didn’t think very hard about whether I would draft LeMahieu or Merrifield first, or if I wanna open a bar named Merrifield’s with a DJ. Since I’m avoiding this entire tier, I just chucked them up in the rankings. I don’t want either, so makes no difference if I’m ranking this way or flip-flopped or am drafting while wearing flip-flops. All irrelevant. As for Merrifield, all I’ll say if you want to find a guy I’m avoiding, find a guy who lost half of his steals, just turned 31, needs 600+ ABs to get his stats and has a career 7.7% HR/FB. That is the new blech. 2020 Projections: 34/5/26/.305/6 in 226 ABs
12. Jeff McNeil – Was one of the bigger proponents of drafting McNeil last year, but even in my wildest dreams, which involve Giancarlo in a whipped cream bikini, I didn’t expect McNeil’s previous season. And, if he did have that season, I would’ve guessed Mets fans would’ve nicknamed him McNails, so was wrong on that too. 2020 Projections: 38/7/26/.306/2 in 218 ABs
13. Cavan Biggio – This is a new tier. This tier goes from here until Newman. I call this tier, “Telling people you’re a professional soccer player.” If you tell anyone in the U.S. you’re a professional soccer player, no one will know, and you’ll be able to get reservations at the hardest restaurants to get into, girls interested in you, guys wanting to be your friend, and without having to be in shape or get kicked in the shins. It’s the perfect scenario. Pro athlete perks without pro athlete hard work. That’s this tier. Get perks of upside without having to draft them that high. As for Biggio, went over him in the top 20 1st basemen for 2020 fantasy baseball.
14. Scott Kingery – Here’s my Scott Kingery sleeper. It was written at an airport while saying I was going to Tallahussy. 2020 Projections: 30/8/26/.271/9 in 216 ABs
15. Danny Santana – Already went over him in the top 20 1st basemen for 2020 fantasy baseball.
16. Lourdes Gurriel Jr. – Already gave you my Lourdes Gurriel Jr. sleeper. It was co-written by Siri. 2020 Projections: 29/10/31/.252/3 in 211 ABs
17. Tommy Edman – Already gave you my Tommy Edman sleeper. It was after realizing Billie Eilish was born after 9/11. 2020 Projections: 32/5/21/.284/10 in 210 ABs
18. Brandon Lowe – Already went over him in the top 20 1st basemen for 2020 fantasy baseball.
19. Michael Chavis – Already went over him in the top 20 1st basemen for 2020 fantasy baseball.
20. Ryan McMahon – Already went over him in the top 20 1st basemen for 2020 fantasy baseball.
21. Ian Happ – Already gave you my Ian Happ sleeper. It was after five gin and tonics. 2020 Projections: 23/9/26/.266/2 in 169 ABs
22. Kolten Wong – No foolsies, I nearly wrote a Wong sleeper post too. I looked at this Wong hard–um, with great interest. Don’t tell me there’s no 2nd basemen to draft. There’s a shizzton! Just not the ones other people are drafting with the high-price tags. There’s no price tag on Wong, which is also what a male escort screams in the back of a police cruiser. What ultimately stopped me from writing a sleeper on Wong was his upside wasn’t that sexy — that’s what she said derisively. 2020 Projections: 29/3/24/.282/6 in 191 ABs
23. Kevin Newman – Yup, I looked at Newman for a sleeper post too. Again, I liked him like Wong — not in a gay way, not that there’s anything wrong with that — but Newman’s fly balls were kinda bleh and I worried he’d end back as a 5-homer guy like he seemed in the minors, i.e., Hello Newman, just not Hello Newman. 2020 Projections: 29/3/23/.289/7 in 195 ABs
24. Rougned Odor – This is a new tier. This tier goes from here until Urias. I call this tier, “Never say never.” Tier name will become obvious by end of the blurb. As for Odor, bit surprised by some of the smart people who I’ve seen talk about drafting Odor late. You’d think they would’ve paid attention to the lesson I learned season after season after season after season. Odor is a poor April away from the Rangers benching or releasing him. Oddly enough, releasing Odor is very similar to playing Odor. They both stink. His power/speed are still alluring, so never say never to drafting him. (HAHA, I can’t quit him!) 2020 Projections: 23/9/26/.212/3 in 182 ABs
25. Jonathan Schoop – When he signed with the Tigers, I said, “Well, there’s gonna be a new Tigers team leader in homers in 2020. Their team leader last year, the always sexy, gender fluid, Bra-Dix, was DFA’d. Of course, Brandon Dixon led the team with *stifles laugh* 15 homers.” And that’s me quoting me! 2020 Projections: 23/9/26/.241 in 192 ABs
26. Garrett Hampson – Full disclosure alert! I wrote a Garrett Hampson sleeper. Not last year, I mean this year. Was going to publish it in December, and then, out of nowhere, like Ben Franklin at a key store, I saw a flash of light and realized Bud Black is never playing Hampson. I see so many people drafting Hampson early like he’s going to get 500 ABs, and, well, good luck to you, I’d draft him, but not at his current price. If the Rockies trade Arenado and Hampson is projected for the Opening Day lineup (which he isn’t!), then I’ll move him up. 2020 Projections: 19/4/16/.251/6 in 113 ABs
27. Jurickson Profar – Here’s what I said this offseason, “(Profar was) traded to the Padres for Austin Allen, who sounds like a furniture, and we know what kind of person shops at the Jurickson store. Me. There was a reason why I drafted Profar in multiple leagues last year, but, after he burned me badly last year, how many times am I going to the well before I’m the one they use to restock the shelves at the Jurickson store? Hard to say. If I’m the Padres, I’d *pinkie to mouth* Profar Urias, but here we are. Don’t think Profar’s too old to bounce back from his dreadful 2019, where he hit .218, but dude might want to consider no longer hitting 27-foot pop-ups to 2nd base and dribblers to 1st.” And that’s me quoting me! 2020 Projections: 20/7/22/.231/3 in 164 ABs
28. Tommy La Stella – Last year in one of the strangest twists, Tommy revealed the “La” in his last name stands for Launch Angle, hitting 16 homers in a half a season, and .295 without luck. Enter stage right: His archenemy, Joe Maddon, who benched him for four years. Maddon, in his best Batman villain voice, “Launch Angle, you’re grounded.” Snap! Never say never because La Stella’s power could be for real. 2020 Projections: 23/6/25/.291 in 173 ABs
29. Starlin Castro – Signed with the Nats as they made a clean break from Zimmerman for Castro, because they are anti-semites and Communists and I don’t believe Zimmerman is actually Jewish or Castro is a Fidel, but here we are. Castro sees a little boost in lineup, but it’s not gonna do him any favors that everyone is better than him and he’ll be hitting 7th or 8th every game. Yadios Molina! (I was saving that for when Yadier retired, but let’s be honest that shizz ain’t ever happening.) 2020 Projections: 20/9/25/.266/1 in 211 ABs
30. Nick Madrigal – Already gave you my Nick Madrigal fantasy. It had it going on like Stacy’s Mom. 2020 Projections: 19/1/8/.293/8 in 120 ABs
31. Nick Solak – Already gave you my Nick Solak fantasy. Since I wrote that, the Rangers signed Todd Frazier, and crowded their infield. Ya know, if there weren’t a team as awful with rookies as the Rockies, the Rangers would be talked a lot more about how awful they are. UPDATE: Moved up due to Willie Calhoun’s broken jaw and upped his projections. No matter who the Rangers lose, there’s a sexy guy stepping in to fill the space. *sees Todd Frazier penciled into cleanup* Don’t even think about it, Rangers! UPDATE II: Calhoun will be healthy by the time for 2020 season, but Solak looks like he could still sneak in 300 ABs, playing all over the field, so I’m leaving him here. 2020 Projections: 26/8/22/.268/3 in 180 ABs
32. Mauricio Dubon – Could see Gabe Kapler, between burpees, anointing Dubon the leadoff hitter. Could also see him hitting 8th and Gabe Kapler just applying ointment to his already-tanned abs. 2020 Projections: 26/4/20/.276/5 in 190 ABs
33. Isan Diaz – His Steamer Projections are pretty, uh, pretty. In Triple-A last year, he went 26/5/.305 and made me excited for a Marlins rookie for the 1st time since *thinking for a few hours* Hanley? Jo-Fer? Oh, man, that just made me sad. Okay, moving on before I start bawling into this bag of Takis. *barely holding it together* I don’t want to soak my Takis! Diaz has real strikeout concerns, but he could be a late flyer in deep leagues that pays dividends. 2020 Projections: 22/8/25/.235/2 in 189 ABs
34. Luis Urias – Here’s what I said this offseason, “Went the other way in the monster Grisham trade. Or maybe it was that I was drinking a Monster energy drink when I heard about it. It feels like we’ve been waiting forever for Urias to breakout (that goes for Julio too), but Luis is still only 22 years old (Julio’s only 23). It is debatable if Urias’s 19 homers in a half a season of Triple-A was real and will translate or was Superball-aided. Urias is one of those guys where I don’t even know what to project him for. He could anywhere from 25/7/.290 to 4/2/.210 and demoted by May. Or doesn’t even make the team. Be interested in seeing what he can do. Guess you can say I’m very *pinkie to mouth* Urias. Going to the Brewers won’t hurt him, unless Counsell suddenly finds an affinity for Orlando Arcia. The eye test tells me Urias will be a 17/7/.260 major leaguer, but, again, he’s young and who knows. You should be skeptical of people crazy excited about Urias now. He still has not done anything in the majors.” And that’s me quoting me! UPDATE: Urias has a broken hamate bone, so I updated his projections. I added 25 homers! Broken hamate bone? Sign me up! Right? I mean, Olson last year broke his hamate bone and hit a home run in every game thereafter. No? Okay. So, I saw some sites saying Urias would need six to eight weeks to recover. That sounds pessimistic. Maybe four to six weeks, which still lets him open the season as the Brewers’ shortstop or at least return after a week or two. I’ve changed his projections a tad, but I still don’t see Arcia as the starter. UPDATE II: With the delayed season, Urias should be fully recovered in time for the season, which season is the real question. 2020 Projections: 16/5/18/.262/2 in 178 ABs
35. Robinson Cano – This is a new tier. This tier goes from here until Moran. I call this tier, “If you’re wearing sweatpants and drafting from this tier, people are going to assume you’ve given up on life.” The tier name is self-explanatory. As for Cano, I’m looking forward to the thinkpieces in the winters of 2023-28 about how Cano would be a Hall of Famer with his 3,000 hits if he wasn’t busted for PEDs. Not looking forward to anything else about him. 2020 Projections: 23/6/24/.251 in 172 ABs
36. Hanser Alberto – I just briefly glimpsed a headline from a fantasy baseball ‘pert about how Hanser’s breakout last year and whether it could continue. That made me squint. I had forgot Hanser breakout last year. Hanser to goodness mistake, I guess. So, I look at his player page. He went 12/4/.305 in 524 ABs. As you can imagine, that made me squint further. 2020 Projections: 27/5/18/.293/1 in 199 ABs
37. Luis Arraez – In almost 525 ABs, he’s projected for around five homers and five steals. That’s a strong case for a loud, sustained cackle. And, with the Donaldson signing, I’m not sure he sees that many at-bats. Still cackling! 2020 Projections: 19/1/13/.319/1 in 157 ABs
38. Niko Goodrum – Already went over him in the top 20 1st basemen for 2020 fantasy baseball.
39. David Fletcher – This guy retaught me a lesson last year. I never pay for batting average, but I got cute last year with Fletcher, assuming (correctly) the Angels had no leadoff hitter so Fletcher would act as their number one (he did, mostly). But even with a .307 average out of the leadoff spot, and .290 overall, holy schnikes, he was painful to own. Don’t pay for average-only hitters. I’m farting in Arraez’s general direction too. 2020 Projections: 29/2/20/.288/3 in 200 ABs
40. Asdrubal Cabrera – Signed with the Nats to play 3rd and Kieboom goes Carter’s fantasy value this year. Asdrubal is like Ryan Zimmerman with a Latin flair. I will call him Mentirosa Zimmerman. 2020 Projections: 24/6/26/.258/1 in 174 ABs
41. Cesar Hernandez – I will say this of this tier. For AL or NL-Only leagues, this tier is fine if you’re looking for a warm body. One thing Cesar has going for him is he’s warm, which is why he wears a toga. 2020 Projections: 26/6/23/.271/4 in 219 ABs
42. Franklin Barreto – This was how I projected Barreto: Ooh…he’s projected to start at 2nd base. Wow, he has 15-homer power and some speed. Holy Criss Angel, he might hit .160. 2020 Projections: 17/6/19/.218/2 in 120 ABs
43. Dee Gordon – He went from the 12th best sprint speed in the majors to 103rd. That, over-the-internet friends, is a teachable moment. 2020 Projections: 15/1/10/.254/7 in 131 ABs
44. Freddy Galvis – If anyone is pushing a VanMeter, Kyle Farmer or Phillip Ervin playing time narrative too hard, I want you to keep in mind that seemingly without any coercion the Reds picked up Galvis’s contract. 2020 Projections: 321/6/23/.250/2 in 201 ABs
45. Chris Taylor – I don’t think I’ve ever give any manager credit, but I will say this of Dave Roberts, which is kind of a compliment, he figures out how to get a lot of players 400+ ABs. When you’re disparaging managers for ten years that passes as a compliment. 2020 Projections: 19/5/21/.252/3 in 150 ABs
46. Gavin Lux – Already gave you my Gavin Lux fantasy. It was written while being told I need kids for permission to enter Chuck E. Cheese. UPDATE: Will start year at alternate camp. 2020 Projections: 11/4/11/.251/1 in 149 ABs
47. Adam Frazier – I was talking about this the other day with Jose Martinez and how it was crazy how some players miss an entire career because they’re on the wrong team. Frazier’s the flip side of that coin. He’s managed to have a career on the Pirates. If he was on a big-market team, he’d make Clint Frazier’s major league playing time thus far seem vast. 2020 Projections: 22/4/21/.277/2 in 191 ABs
48. Howie Kendrick – Already went over him in the top 20 1st basemen for 2020 fantasy baseball.
49. Jose Peraza – Here’s my Jose Peraza sleeper. It was buried in a post about the Kluber trade. Since I wrote that, however, Moreland signed with the Red Sox, and now there’s, uh, less land for Peraza to play. 2020 Projections: 14/2/11/.272/6 in 117 ABs
50. Brian Dozier – Signed by the Padres. Dozier, The Human Hammock, has hit 20+ homers every year since 2014, and now I’m concerned about the Padres’ everyday 2nd base job. Dozier is not my *pinkie to mouth* Profarence. UPDATE: Released. 2020 Projections: 15/6/17/.234/1 in 101 ABs
51. Austin Nola – Already went over him in the top 20 catchers for 2020 fantasy baseball.
52. Shed Long – If the Mariners have any sense, they’ll start Shed Long over Dee Gordon from now until Dee Gordon is DFA’d. Hey, not saying Shed Long is great. He sounds like he could be found at Lowe’s and he won’t be as good as any of the Rays’ Lowes, but at least there’s some mystery to Shed Long. Okay, now I’m starting a True Crime podcast called The Mystery in Shed Long. Please subscribe to my Patreon. 2020 Projections: 18/4/20/.238/3 in 113 ABs
53. Colin Moran – David Bote should get traded to the Pirates. He’d fit in perfectly, as it feels like every Pirates hitter could have 200 ABs or 550 ABs and hit under 15 homers. 2020 Projections: 18/5/25/.277 in 166 ABs
54. Enrique Hernandez – This is the last tier. This tier goes until the end of the list. I call this tier, “Wow, I can’t believe you ranked that guy.” As for Kiké, remember when he homered twice in the 1st game of the year and Donkey Teeth said on the podcast he thought Enrique could hit 30 homers. Damn it, that still makes me laugh. 2020 Projections: 14/4/15/.246 in 124 ABs
55. Jason Kipnis – Signed with the Cubs. Not sure any good moves have happened in the last two weeks since I finished my 2020 fantasy baseball rankings that have helped anyone’s value. What does Kipnis do to Hoerner? Doesn’t make me hoerny, I’ll tell ya that. Is David Bote out of the picture? Is Descalso in the picture? Am I just singing Picture by Kid Rock and Sheryl Crow? I demand answers! 2020 Projections: 10/5/13/.237/2 in 103 ABs
56. Joey Wendle – He’s not a poor man’s top middle infielder. He’s a homeless man’s middle infielder. Go ahead, Mr. Wendle! 2020 Projections: 10/3/11/.247/3 in 101 ABs
57. David Bote – One of those guys who could have 550 ABs or 175 ABs while getting 10-13 HRs and less than 55 RBIs either way. It’s pretty amazing, tee bee aitch. 2020 Projections: 18/5/19/.252/1 in 121 ABs
58. Brendan Rodgers – He said he’s on track to be ready for Spring Training, after having shoulder surgery, and Bud Black said, “What’s the rush?” 2020 Projections: 13/3/11/.268/1 in 90 ABs
59. Ty France – A bit of a Profar hedge here, and, of course, the only good hedges in France are at Versailles. Damn, these cultured probiotics I’m taking are working! 2020 Projections: 11/4/16/.240 in 77 ABs
60. Sheldon Neuse – This is a Barreto hedge. Neuse’s Triple-A stats 27/3/.317 are muy sweetness, but has some swing-and-miss tendencies. The A’s are a smart organization so I have to wonder why Neuse is 25 and still without real MLB playing time. That could be irrelevant though if Barreto starts cold and Neuse looks good in the spring. I’m intrigued, y’all! 2020 Projections: 13/3/11/.242/1 in 62 ABs
61. Eric Sogard – Here’s what I said this offseason, “Signed with the Brewers. Eric Sogard and Craig Counsell *insert Spiderman pointing at himself meme*. Mentioned this on the Winter Meetings podcast, but will repeat now for lack of more interesting shizz. Last year the Yankees signed DJ LeMahieu with no place to play him. People were like, “So dumb, they have Andjuar and Voit and where the hell is LeMahieu playing?” So, yes, I am saying Sogard will now be top five vote-getter for the NL MVP. No, I’m not saying that! It’s the same idea, though. Sogard doesn’t really have a place to play, and the Brewers now have twelve infielders.” And that’s me quoting me! 2020 Projections: 20/4/16/.274/2 in 134 ABs
62. Josh VanMeter – Already went over him in the top 20 1st basemen for 2020 fantasy baseball.
63. Luis Rengifo – I like to draft Rengifo just so I can drop him while saying, “More like RenGTFOH.” 2020 Projections: 10/2/8/.236/2 in 102 ABs
64. Nicky Lopez – True story alert! In a hazy memory chamber of my brain, I faintly recall Nicky Lopez being someone who had some interest this past year, so I looked at his numbers (2 HRs, 1 SB, .240 in 103 games) and I did a spit-take of my pamplemousse La Croix. Hey, Nicky Lopez, you owe me a new monitor. 2020 Projections: 17/1/19/.266/3 in 149 ABs
