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Welcome, prematurely balding men and five women who are married to PBMs and decided if you can’t beat them, join them! Make yourself comfortable, this is gonna be a long post. Here, enjoy some coffee. Oops, you just drank rat poison. I should’ve used different mugs. Don’t worry, it can’t be worse than rostering Cody Bellinger in the 1st half. Oh, you rostered him, and that’s why you drank the poison. Now, I’m following! Hey, I’m supposed to be leading! Before we get into the top 100 for the 2nd half of 2021 fantasy baseball, let’s just be glad our 18-year-old selves can’t see us now, we’d get beat up! But our twelve-year-old selves would think we’re the coolest! So, as with all of the other 2021 fantasy baseball rankings, slop this up with a grain of salt. If you need a 2nd baseman, but an outfielder is above him that doesn’t mean you can’t trade that outfielder for that 2nd baseman. Also, things change in fantasy baseball. Daily. I could put Fernando Tatis Jr. number one, and he could pull a–Well, we won’t even mention an injury with FTJ after we lost Tildaddy. As I say about the Giancarlo underwear I bought off eBay, why soil a good thing? This list is a road map for where I think guys are valued. It’s not the Holy Grail in the Church of Grey, that would be my mustache. This list is NOT (caps for emphasis, not aesthetics) where I see guys ending up if you were to take their first half and combine it with the 2nd half. This is simply a list of the top hundred fantasy baseball players if you were to pick them up today. So while Juan Soto did not have the greatest first half, he will appear on this list because, well, we have to believe in miracles — my 12-year-old self would want that, and to sleep with Cher. 12-Year-Old Grey loved Cher. The projections are not their combined 1st half and 2nd half numbers; these are their projections for the 2nd half of 2021. I also liberally used our rest of the season Fantasy Baseball Player Rater. That’s right, we have a Player Rater that tells you what players will do. It’s like that camera from The Twilight Zone. Welcome to the future! Anyway, here’s the top 100 for fantasy baseball for the 2nd half of 2021:
1. Fernando Tatis Jr. – Originally, had Tildaddy number one, but on Saturday, July 10th, two-thousand, and twenty-one–*sobs, honks nose*–We lost our great Tildaddy to a horrific ACL injury. Now the debate begins, where does Acuña get drafted next year? I will put that on hold to return to Tatis aka FTJ aka Fun The Jewels. He’s in front of Cake Batter, without any second guessing. FTJ funs the jewels better than anyone with Tildaddy out, and possibly even better than a healthy Tildaddy, but the shoulder. That’s it. If FTJ were to say he can’t play the month of August because of his shoulder, I wouldn’t be shocked, but I’d also expect him to still reach his projections by just dominating in September. Projections: 51/21/43/.281/12 in 237 ABs
2. Vladimir Guerrero Jr. – Not much of this list is indictative of how the 2022 rankings will look, but some serious shizz would have to go down in the 2nd half for the 2022 rankings not to start FTJ, and Cake Batter. Likely in that order. As long as Cake Batter doesn’t show up at camp next year 150 pounds overweight, and riding in a golf cart with Miguel Sano, wearing Fat Boys concert tees. Incredibly, Cake Batter lost a bunch of weight to become pound-for-pound the best hitter in the majors. “From Poundcake-to-Poundcake to Cake Batter, One Man’s Journey to Fantasy Supremacy,” that’s my unauthorized Vlad Jr. biography. He’s only missing steals for the fantasy game, which is why he’s second vs. first. Projections: 46/22/58/.314/2 in 262 ABs
3. Shohei Ohtani – I told you to sell Ohtani a few months ago, which was perhaps my worst call this year, but if you mind-wiped my brain and sent me back two months, I’d tell you the same thing again, then two months after I’d be writing this again, then sent back two months, then forward two months — it’s Mementohtani! Why I say I’d tell you to sell again is because, brucely, I would. What he’s been doing — playing every day as a hitter or pitcher — has never been done before. 100 out of 100 times I will tell you to not expect something that has never been done before. My projections for Ohtani are for both hitter and pitcher, but this ranking is even without pitching. His ranking with pitching figured in, well, can you rank someone above number one? Projections: 34/21/39/.277/6 in 221 ABs; 3-2/3.09/1.21/59 in 46 IP
4. Trea Turner – I fully expect Treat Urner to go into SAGNOF Urner Overdrive, steal five bags a week for a month, and end with 50 steals on the year. It can’t be true until you say it like it is true! That’s The Secret. Projections: 49/12/36/.294/19 in 274 ABs
5. Bo Bichette – Wanted to put Jr. after his name, like the other legacy names — Tatis and Vlad — but I guess Dante loved Boba as much as me, and wanted his son’s name to sound like it. Side note, it is weird the first two guys’ names in the rankings end in periods, huh? Projections: 53/12/41/.303/15 in 273 ABs
6. Jacob deGrom – Previously, I’ve said, “My 2nd half rankings depart from my 1st half rankings in one major way, I give more credence to top pitchers. A few reasons A) Pitchers get hurt and are risky, but, at this point in the season, we know which pitchers are healthy and pitching well. B) A top pitcher can make a huge difference still, whereas an upside flyer on a pitcher isn’t as valuable. I.e., if your ratios need help, a flyer on someone like Shane McClanahan is only going to get you so far, whereas deGrom can make a difference in the final months. C) There’s no C.” And that’s me quoting me! The one problem this year? There’s only one top pitcher I trust, and even he has the caveat: As long as deGrom stays healthy, and betting on Mets to keep someone healthy is like betting on public perception recognizing Phil Collins as the greatest singer/songwriter of all-time. Projections: 6-1/1.58/0.71/122 in 88 IP
7. Xander Bogaerts – Headed for his third year of 190 or more hits, and one of the few guys who I would say, “Yeah, he could hit .375 for a season. Maybe even higher.” Where would I say that? Hmm…If I were backed into a corner at a bar in Boston, I’d definitely say it. Projections: 44/15/45/.319/6 in 271 ABs
8. Rafael Devers – Think I was the high man on Devers this preseason, and I want to be the even higher man on him. I want to open a dispensary called It’s A Great Releaf to Have Devers. Projections: 42/17/50/.281/2 in 274 ABs
9. Nick Castellanos – Haven’t talked much about The Greek God of Hard Contact, because most of my blurbs about him during the year are about his Greek mother who runs a diner. Ya know, sometimes I get comments like, “This is useless info, telling me Castellanos’s mother has giant meat curtains for arms.” You’re right, but that’s how I keep it fresh for myself. I explain and illuminate guys you don’t know. If I think you know a guy, I’m not going to say, “Castellanos has been great.” It’s boring. You can read boring elsewhere. Any hoo! Castellanos has been great. Yawn. Projections: 46/15/44/.302/2 in 284 ABs
10. Jose Ramirez – Apologies for where I ranked Jo-Ram in the preseason, and more apologies for where I’m ranking him now. Apparently, I’m never going to learn my lesson that Francisco Lindor leaving Cleveland is bad for Ramirez. I wish someone could get this information through to me. Projections: 45/17/42/.271/8 in 274 ABs
11. Matt Olson – Feel vindication for all my praise for Olson. Everything I thought was possible has come true. Well, except for me being a millionaire. Need to think harder on that while doing nothing. Projections: 40/19/51/.272/2 in 267 ABs
12. Manny Machado – As I write this, Machado is ~25 on the Player Rater, and that’s without having even a two-week hot stretch. Get him on a month-long hot streak without tantalizing him with free tix to the champagne room from Stabby Pham and bazinga. Projections: 41/17/48/.271/8 in 273 ABs
13. Ozzie Albies – Deep in my soul, next to a thousand lodged bobas, I knew Albies could become a top 15 overall hitter. Also, anyone know how to dislodge something in their lower intestine? Projections: 44/13/37/.271/7 in 284 ABs
14. Jose Altuve – He put to bed the rumors of him cheating, like everyone who sees him after nine o’clock at night tries to put him to sleep, confusing him with an 8-year-old. Projections: 53/13/36/.291/3 in 261 ABs
15. Freddie Freeman – Could continue to hit for power, correct his average and have a huge 2nd half. Or not. Alas, it’s the future we can’t see…Without these glasses that I bought thanks to an ad on the last page of a comic book. Projections: 44/15/48/.288/2 in 262 ABs
16. Tim Anderson – Bit like a poor man’s Manny Machado. Call him Poor Man Machado. Anderson hasn’t been great (for him), but still pretty good (for others). Projections: 51/12/29/.297/13 in 272 ABs
17. Marcus Semien – Is it me (it’s not me) or does this top 100 ranking so far fall into two camps: Will continue to be good or will stop being painful to roster? Which camp is Semien in? The one where you find a pants tent. Projections: 47/13/35/.268/6 in 281 ABs
18. Jesse Winker – Looking at Winker’s stats from the 1st half and I keep thinking, “Why did Winker steal Juan Soto’s fantasy value and how do I steal it back from him?” Need to plan out an Ocean’s 11-type caper to get Juan Soto back his fantasy value. Winker’s a good example of what happens when a hitter with a great eye, stays healthy and realizes you just have to launch a little more. Projections: 42/13/35/.313/1 in 253 ABs
19. Juan Soto – Here we go for a stretch of “Should be better, do you have a category in your league for should?” So, raise your hand if you have a Should category. I see one hand raised…Oh, forget it, that guy was just scratching his armpit. Projections: 48/10/43/.302/4 in 244 ABs
20. Mookie Betts – It’s the “I Wish I Dodged This Dodger On My Fantasy Teams” mini tier that Cody Bellinger couldn’t even make it into within the larger tier of Should’ve Been Betters. Unlike some of the Should’ve Beens, Betts looks more unlucky than bad. Projections: 51/14/31/.287/12 in 277 ABs
21. Trevor Story – Could see this ranking change dramatically depending on where he gets traded, but there’s at least four of five possible destinations where he can still thrive. Admittedly, I don’t like the rumors of him going to Oakland. Not only is that at sea level, it’s the size of Yellowstone. Yuck. Projections: 40/14/42/.264/15 in 264 ABs
22. Gerrit Cole – Stop me if you’ve heard this one before (don’t stop me even though you’ve heard this one before). There’s very few starters who are so wildly different than other ones that they deserve some sort of special treatment. There’s deGrom and. Dot dot dot. Is there another one? And even deGrom has a huge red flag about health. Continued in next blurb. Projections: 7-3/3.02/1.02/128 in 94 IP
23. Brandon Woodruff – With the spin rates causing our night goggles to burn out from putting them on the Statcast page all day, and every pitcher coming off a goofy season when they didn’t throw many innings, there’s no starters I feel that great about recommending in the 2nd half. Continued in next blurb. Projections: 7-2/2.71/0.94/100 in 86 IP
24. Max Scherzer – This is a major departure from previous 2nd half rankings. Usually by this point in the season, we have a great idea which starters are solid vs. not, and I push them up my 2nd half rankings. This year? We know who’s good, but we don’t know who can throw a full season after barely throwing a three-eighths of a season last year. Projections: 6-2/2.81/0.93/103 in 74 IP
25. Bryce Harper – Not sure how many home runs he has left in his bat. Or is that how many “in the Harper?” *reluctantly high-fives self* Especially with his bum shoulder. Is his shoulder bum or just temporarily unhoused? Projections: 42/13/37/.243/6 in 228 ABs
26. Mike Trout – Is it me or does it feel like there’s no urgency by Trout to return? GOAT up, GOAT! Which is also what I yell at petting zoos. I paid my dollar, now dance goat! Projections: 37/14/39/.319/3 in 184 ABs
27. Nelson Cruz – When Cruz first started playing baseball, rosin was allowed on pitchers’ gloves. I know what you’re thinking, that wasn’t that long ago, that was allowed this year in April. Right, but the rosin the pitchers were using when Cruz started playing was made from the grinding down of a 17th century golem. Projections: 31/15/38/.282 in 246 ABs
28. Kyle Tucker – Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me for my Kyle Tucker schmohawk post from the preseason, and I better start putting a finger and thumb on my forehead in the shape of an L. Projections: 36/14/39/.271/7 in 269 ABs
29. Aaron Judge – He’s the type (and Gallo and Alonso and Giancarlo) who could hit 30 homers in the 2nd half, or less than five with an injury sidelining him. Yes, that could be a lot of guys, but there’s not a lot with like two to one odds of that happening. Projections: 39/17/44/.257 in 241 ABs
30. Pete Alonso – Even with a less than an ideal last 120 games, and he’s got around 30 homers, and ~.250. I know, you want more. I *grabbing you by your shirt* want more too! Projections: 35/16/42/.252/1 in 254 ABs
31. Corbin Burnes – Every year I get to the end of the season and I think to myself, “With the results from this past season from all the top pitchers, and all the pitchers coming out of nowhere, there’s no way next year’s preseason will have ‘perts telling you to draft starters crazy high,” and every year I’m surprised. Continued in next blurb. Projections: 5-3/2.97/0.96/81 in 62 IP
32. Zack Wheeler – Burnes, Wheeler and Gausman have been incredible. I wish I drafted them all in every league. Wheeler, I was admittedly out on, but Gausman and Burnes were two guys I liked. They were also drafted-able in every league without using a top pick. People see this, right? I’m starting to think I’m the only one who sees it. Continued in next blurb. Projections: 6-3/3.12/1.13/101 in 85 IP
33. Kevin Gausman – I wrote a Gausman sleeper post. I wrote a John Means sleeper post. I wrote one for Tyler Mahle, an Eovaldi, a Bassitt…If you had only those guys on your fantasy teams and no other starters, you’d have around a 2.90 ERA and great strikeouts. How is it people still think they need to draft a guy like Giolito in the top 12 picks overall? Yet, they justify it! Every year! The names change but, without fail, they do it. Projections: 5-2/3.02/0.96/82 in 77 IP
34. Carlos Rodon – Guys and five girls, Rodon’s peripherals are exactly what you want to see from every pitcher. Only side note on the last few pitchers, I’m a little bit worried about how many more innings they can throw. Projections: 5-4/3.21/1.04/106 in 83 IP
35. Yu Darvish – His numbers actually appear to be in decline. Who’s? Yu’s. Don’t look behind you. Point your index finger into your chest while reading this. “Yu are still great.” See how good that feels. But you’re in decline. I mean, Yu is. His velocity is down, his Ks, and he’s still a top five-ish starter, assuming he’s healthy, and his IL stint, going into the break, seems precautionary. Projections: 6-4/2.76/0.98/84 in 71 IP
36. Austin Meadows – In the preseason, I was out on Meadows without being loud, out and proud. It was a whispery out. If someone asked me, I’d mumble and say, “Um, yeah, I don’t really trust him, but I guess we’ll see…” Real wishy-washy shizz! With that said, Meadows has proven that if he can stay on the field, he’s solid. Projections: 32/15/41/.238/6 in 256 ABs
37. Jared Walsh – Did a massive screwup on Walsh. I can blame Joe Maddon because he was starting Pujols at first in the spring, but I wrote a Jared Walsh sleeper post and then at the last minute, I moved him all the way down my rankings, because it looked like he was being benched, and I didn’t draft him anywhere. It’s my one big regret for this year. Projections: 38/15/48/.288/2 in 256 ABs
38. Yordan Alvarez – Instead of in his beard, Captain Woo Cubano has rubber bands holding his knees together, so I am asking you nicely Dusty, “Thank you for trying to get him outfield eligibility for next year in CBS and ESPN, but let him DH now.” Projections: 38/15/41/.274 in 239
39. Javier Baez – It’s kinda interesting (to me, the “to me” is important here) that Baez is so exciting for real baseball while also being rightfully called overrated because he doesn’t walk, and is as polarizing in fantasy because of the same reasons, when neither of those reasons mean anything in standard 5×5 leagues. His flashy fielding and adrenaline-pumping play means nothing in a standard fantasy league. Who cares that he doesn’t walk if he steals bases and hits homers? Projections: 33/14/36/.234/6 in 287 ABs
40. Jose Abreu – Without a big 2nd half, the Mickey Mouse MVP is slowly creeping his way into the “Abreu or Goldschmidt” discussion. A far drop from this preseason. Projections: 38/15/46/.261 in 277 ABs
41. George Springer – He could be worth a top 10 2nd half ranking or below a 400 overall pick. See his first half for the latter half of those possibilities. Projections: 31/12/34/.271/4 in 214 ABs
42. Walker Buehler – I don’t think pitchers’ struggles can all be laid at the feet of wacky tacky. Unfortch, a lot of people in the fantasy baseball world will because they don’t want to admit they were wrong to draft starters early this preseason. It was all so obvious coming into the year that pitchers would struggle. I said it all preseason. If anyone is reranking today, are they really putting Buehler in the top 15 overall as they were in the preseason? Meh, maybe they are. But a guy with an under-9 K/9 does not belong there. And for those of you who are like, “You’re handsome, but this wacky tacky thing is a new development that couldn’t have been accounted for in the preseason.” You’re wrong, or I’m an em-effing fortune teller, because I wrote about not drafting Gerrit Cole because of an incoming crackdown. Projections: 6-2/3.33/1.01/71 in 74 IP
43. Lance Lynn – From Wikipedia, “The infinite monkey theorem states that a monkey hitting keys at random on a typewriter keyboard for an infinite amount of time will almost surely type a given text, such as the complete works of William Shakespeare.” Well, I’m here to tell you it only took three days for them to type up this post. No banana for Ling-Ling! Type faster! (If you don’t know Lynn by now, you are never gonna know him.) Projections: 6-3/3.34/1.05/91 in 86 IP
44. Teoscar Hernandez – Weird to get this far into the season, and for me to still not able to say if I nailed my schmohawk post for Teoscar. He’s currently around 70th overall on the Player Rater, and, if you asked people drafting him if they expected more, I think they did. But he’s also not been a bust, if being honest. Projections: 35/14/41/.257/2 in 262 ABs
45. Nolan Arenado – Due to goofing about some shizz or another getting blown out a window after every Arenado homer, I don’t really get to talk much about him. So, I’ve written my Arenado notes on this loose-leaf paper, but first I’m going to haphazardly put it by this open window–NOOO!!! Torenado! Projections: 36/14/43/.259 in 271 ABs
46. Franmil Reyes – On one hand, I think the $54 Vending Machine Steak was robbed of a 50-homer season because of an injury. On the other hand, I kinda think he can have a 30-homer 2nd half and still get closer than anyone would expect. On a third hand that is Hamburger Helper, I’d just take 20 homers, and 30 homers overall. Projections: 37/15/41/.257 in 254 ABs
47. Cedric Mullins – If his home runs came in Yankee Stadium instead of Camden, he’d have 23 homers. Oh…*follows King Kong up the side of the Empire State Building, only it takes me about six months longer with a team of rappellers helping me up*…kay. Most of the guys in this top 100, I have a good idea on where I’m gonna land on them in the 2022 rankings, but with Mullins I’m still evaluating. This might be real real. Projections: 37/12/29/.277/13 in 276 ABs
48. Alex Verdugo – Just so we’re clear where I’m coming from, I 100% like Verdugo more than I think might be warranted, but — and this is a J. Lo-sized but — his value on the Player Rater isn’t that far off from this spot. So, while I am higher on him, I’m much closer to neutral than you might realize. Projections: 40/10/34/.293/3 in 270 ABs
49. Starling Marte – This is true of a lot of guys and Marte: If you need one thing, say, power, and not another thing, say, speed, then Luke Voit being after Marte means nothing. These rankings are a gauge of where we’re at. If you need power, you trade Marte for Voit. Projections: 39/7/32/.286/14 in 283 ABs
50. Sonny Gray – He has a 11.6 K/9, 3.3 BB/9 and a 3.11 xFIP, i.e., way better than you expected. Don’t lie. You did not expect him to be doing that well. Oh, I told you he would, but you didn’t expect it. Now if only he can throw complete games every time so we never have to see any Reds reliever ever. Projections: 6-3/3.14/1.17/92 in 74 IP
51. Joe Musgrove – Has anyone with the name Joe ever introduced their mom, “This is Joe Mama.” Generally curious. Any hoo! Musgrove’s stats looked better in April/May than June, and it’s hard to not see a coincidence with the wacky tacky checky-checky, but his spin rates aren’t really that down, so maybe he just had an off month, which has tracked into July. His current trend isn’t great, but his spin rates look fine, and I think he can bounce back. Projections: 5-3/3.41/1.11/84 in 79 IP
52. Shane Bieber – How I write this post: I rank everyone who I think could be in consideration, then I hem and/or haw and shave and/or reduce. Then I jot down notes I need to check on. Like, next to Musgrove, I had ‘check June’s numbers.’ Well, next to Bieber I had: Check injury. Honestly, I’d continue to do that if you were trying to trade for him. Projections: 4-2/2.89/0.97/81 in 61 IP
53. Aaron Nola – His season has been so bizarre. Talk about going from lights-out to groping your way around in a lights-out room from start to start. He doesn’t seem to be a victim of no wacky tacky either. He’s just incredibly unlucky. Now he adds more unknown unluckiness as he hits the Covid IL, and could be fine by this time next week or, well, not. Projections: 4-3/3.81/1.16/94 in 78 IP
54. Whit Merrifield – Essentially the opposite of Verdugo in my mind’s eye and only my mind’s eye, as in Verdugo isn’t quite as good as I think he is (yet?) and Merrifield is better than I think he is (still?). My mind’s eye also has a line of tarot cards, a line of t-shirts and could’ve helped put me through college but chose not to! Projections: 44/6/28/.275/16 in 281 ABs
55. J.D. Martinez – Just Dong because the opposite is Just Dongn’t. Projections: 39/15/42/.279 in 269 ABs
56. Max Muncy – Oh man this post is going on like 18,000 words, so super fast, I just did an Anime Grey video explaining quickly why he’s a .270 hitter now and not .245. Check last week’s video. Projections: 42/15/41/.267/1 in 251 ABs
57. Luke Voit – Hey, if he could do it in essentially the August/September months of 2020, he can do it this year right? Right? Seriously, I’m asking. Projections: 33/14/41/.244 in 251 ABs
58. Randy Arozarena – Ya know what makes baseball a great game and fantasy baseball equally so, while also maddening and frustrating and ulcer-inducing and “I need a stress reducer from my stress reducer?” Arozarena had the same number of homers in 20 postseason games as he had in a half of season this year. See the video at the top of the page for more on The Rice Bowl. Projections: 37/8/36/.257/9 in 266 ABs
59. Francisco Lindor – Forgot Lindor the first go-through on this list, and it’s very surprising since he’s done so much to stand out from the rest of the players in Major League Baseball. Like, getting $300 million to do about the same as Luis Urias, for instance. This ranking is purely on what could be vs. what has been. Projections: 38/10/31/.256/8 in 272 ABs
60. Wander Franco – Was one of my last Sells before the break. Right after he came up. I was in a particularly sour mood that week. A real Grinch. No one said Grinch was dumb though. I’m a smart Grinch. Projections: 32/10/36/.293/9 in 258 ABs
61. Austin Riley – Would I really take Riley over Trevor Rogers or Freddy Peralta? Meh, apples vs. a guy who is wearing a Fruit of the Loom costume in a janky fruit salad remake of Eyes Wide Shut called Citrus Wide Shut where a sign is posted, “Apples not allowed.” Projections: 38/14/42/.281/1 in 265 ABs
62. Freddy Peralta – “Grey and Freddy were the popular steadys, and the king and the guy others told you was a stream. Nobody looked any finer, or was more of a hit at Castellanos’s mom’s diner. We never knew we could want more than that out of life! Surely Grey and Freddy would always survive.” — famous lyrics by Billy Joel. Projections: 5-2/2.91/1.07/83 in 61 IP
63. Trevor Rogers – As mentioned a few weeks ago, Rogers is pegged (then he would be rogered) for 170 innings total. Ya know, give or take a few (10) innings. So, he has about 60-70 IP left. Projections: 4-2/2.91/1.05/74 in 66 IP
64. Trent Grisham – “Excuse me, Mr. Grisham, can you help me with suing my local water company?” Listens, then, “You’re a baseball player? Hmm…So who wrote The Pelican Brief?” Any hoo! I’ll say this for Grisham, when he’s on the field, he produces a solid $/game. Projections: 41/10/34/.253/7 in 251 ABs
65. Mitch Haniger – Real question that you can answer in the comments: Did you ever think you’d see Mitch Haniger in the top 100? You did? Wow, lying to my face! Projections: 29/13/36/.231/2 in 242 ABs
66. Adolis Garcia – Truly the biggest dubya tee eff to come out of nowhere, and could become a “Hey, whatever happened to that guy” in the 2nd half. Even with what he did, this is still a trust fall. Projections: 28/13/36/.241/6 in 254 ABs
67. Cody Bellinger – Not sure if this is a realistic ranking or wish fulfillment. I’m going to figure it out right now if I can make my dreams come true by saying them aloud….Who’s that at my door? Sofia Vergara with a briefcase of money? Well, let her in! *stares at the closed door for five days straight* Hmm…I said…Come on in! Wonder if she can’t hear me. Projections: 41/15/46/.261/6 in 255 ABs
68. Christian Yelich – So, this is more me staring at the door to let Sofia Vergara in for you more so than me, because I don’t have Yelich in any league. This feels like more wish fulfillment than even Cody, because Yelich’s numbers are really bad. He looks like a 10-homer hitter. Dot dot dot. Over the course of 162 games! Maybe the offseason training with Nick Markakis wasn’t the best idea. In all seriousness, if he doesn’t correct his Launch Angle in the 2nd half, I might not rank Yelich in the top 70 next year. Projections: 47/11/38/.261/10 in 242 ABs
69. Ramon Laureano – See Anime Grey video at the top of the page for this one. I’m still a Laureano stan. A LaureStano. Projections: 33/12/31/.261/8 in 254 ABs
70. Ryan Mountcastle – “Mountcastle, you’re eating a muffin right above the crime scene.” Mountcastle swallows, then, “I’m glad you’re not in charge of getting to the bottom of this murder, you can’t even tell this is a cruffin. It’s half croissant, you namby-pamby momma’s boy.” That’s the clip from Mountcastle on BBC1 they used for the Emmys. Mountcastle’s sorta become a different hitter this year. Way more aggressive, and homer-forward. Wish he’d ring up Alec Bohm about the changes, or charge him with categoricide, the act of killing my fantasy categories. Projections: 30/13/39/.259/2 in 264 ABs
71. Jake Cronenworth – I goofed up, dropping Cronenworth two months ago and I will never live it down. Kidding, no one knows but me! And you now. It’s our secret. Shush. Projections: 41/8/31/.283/5 in 274 ABs
72. Josh Hader – See no SAGNOF, hear no SAGNOF, trade for no SAGNOF, unless you need SAGNOF! Projections: 3-1/1.64/0.80/56 in 31 IP
73. Edwin Diaz – At this point in the year, you either need SAGNOF or don’t. Projections: 3-1/2.42/1.02/51 in 31 IP
74. Liam Hendriks – See 1/18th of an inch above, or three inches if you’re talking to a girl. Projections: 3-1/2.03/0.83/46 in 30 IP
75. Craig Kimbrel – If you’re wondering, I removed Aroldis Chapman late in the editing of this post. Just have no idea what’s going on with him right now, or if he’ll even be getting saves by the end of July. Projections: 1-1/2.07/0.94/48, 14 saves in 31 IP
76. Ryan Pressly – Member back in April when it felt like there was no closers? It feels like there’s more safe closers than safe starters. Projections: 2-1/2.36/0.94/35 in 28 IP
77. Raisel Iglesias – We got rando closer number six…going once…going twice…Uh, are you gonna bid? You were bidding telepathically? What’s wrong with you? Are you answering telepathically too? Okay, one thing on the closers, they are forever changing — see: me just removing Aroldis — and if you need a closer, Hader or any of these closers, are worth the same as an ace. And, if you don’t need a closer, they’re worth nothing. Projections: 1-2/2.82/0.92/39 in 30 IP
78. Lucas Giolito – Ya know what these rankings look like for pitchers? Pretty much how I told you to draft them. Even though everyone was like, “So, I took Bieber in the 1st round, Giolito in the 2nd, should I take Buehler in the third if he falls? By the way, very handsome mustache.” Projections: 5-5/3.71/1.16/104 in 82 IP
79. Luis Castillo – El oh–*coughs* I don’t know. Is Castillo gonna have a great 2nd half, or will you be scared to start him vs. the Pirates? One thousand percent have no idea. Projections: 4-4/3.71/1.31/81 in 85 IP
80. Joey Gallo – Goes in that heap of a mess of hitters who could hit 30 homers in a half. Or 12 homers, and .210, and leave you wondering if you should just pick up Trevor Larnach after he hits a random homer and drop Gallo. Projections: 36/16/42/.219/3 in 241 ABs
81. Josh Donaldson – Found myself being a big fan of Donaldson’s after hearing Anime Grey. See the video at the top of the page. Projections: 38/14/33/.266 in 248 ABs
82. Giancarlo Stanton – I’ll always tell my grandchildren about the Giancarlo I saw when he was in his 20’s. “Giancarlo is our Dick Allen” is going to be my graduate thesis for the Fantasy Baseball College of Charleston. Projections: 31/14/35/.259/1 in 221 ABs
83. Corey Seager – Similar to my note on Shane Bieber, is Corey Seager healthy? ACKCHUALLY I think he is, but it’s impossible to say for sure, and setbacks happen, as the bumper sticker says on Adalberto Mondesi’s car. Projections: 35/9/32/.271/1 in 238 ABs
84. Raimel Tapia – This is mostly a ROS Player Rater call. It could’ve also just been a Player Rater call. Guess what I’m saying is I like Tapia, have Tapia on teams, but he doesn’t feel special to be ranked this high, but here we are. Projections: 42/6/31/.296/10 in 278 ABs
85. Framber Valdez – I keep saying to sell Framber and Framber keeps giving me a middle finger with his Predator hand. Allow me to kowtow to the Predator finger and explain. I think Framber will be less than he’s been, but still have some value. I never said sell him for Jake OH FRALEY?! Projections: 5-4/3.64/1.17/79 in 86 IP
86. Lance McCullers Jr. – Should’ve just put the whole Astros’ rotation here. Seriously, I like Odorizzi a lot. Any hoo! Something needs to be said, which is what I say 7,000 words into this post, a pitcher who you get off waivers — Shane McClanahan? — can be as valuable as an 80th ranked player in only a half season. Continued in next blurb. Projections: 5-2/3.19/1.15/71 in 68 IP
87. Chris Bassitt – See Marco Gonzales’s value from 2020. That’s it. That’s all there is to say when you look at a starter’s value for 2021’s 2nd half. Just stop and take a second to see how well Marco Gonzales did in only 60 games. What’s there left? 70? Same diff. Continued in next blurb. Projections: 5-2/3.64/1.08/82 in 84 IP
88. Pablo Lopez – 2020. Look at the starters from 2020. Yes, I’m saying the same as the last blurb but my fingers are starting to throb from typing. Projections: 4-4/3.23/1.11/81 in 79 IP
89. Robbie Ray – We have a top 100 with Robbie Ray…*looks out the window*…Hmm…no meteors are crashing into earth… Narrator: Unbeknownst to Grey, playing on the TV in the background was a news report about a meteor hitting earth, but just not in his immediate sightline. Projections: 5-4/3.54/1.16/97 in 81 IP
90. Dansby Swanson – Sometimes I rank like this, I cut a player’s name and drag him down until I reach a point where I could see taking him in a trade with the guy below him. So, Swanson over Moncada. That also reenforced my suspicions that while I do think Swanson is a buy low, am I trading anyone really great for him? Nah. Projections: 32/11/40/.249/4 in 264 ABs
91. Brandon Crawford – J.P. Crawford is actually higher on the Rest of the Season Player Rater. Jacob Stallings is higher! Phil Maton is higher! Okay, 300+ guys are higher. It’s crazy, and I kinda get it. It seems so wildly unlikely Crawford continues his 1st half, but he has been vs. he is a has been. Projections: 31/11/39/.256/3 in 233 ABs
92. Eloy Jimenez – Who knows; I don’t know; you don’t know; maybe he’s nothing in the 2nd half; maybe he’s a top 25 bat; maybe he finally works his way back from injury and the first thing Tony La Russa does is put him in left field, and Eloy immediately hurts himself again. This is about what could be. Projections: 24/14/31/.277 in 186 ABs
93. Yoan Moncada – Done nothing to warrant this. He has 20/10 in a half-of-a-season potential, and put that in one hand and your mother’s britches in the other hand and at least you’re holding something in one of your hands. Projections: 37/11/34/.259/4 in 249 ABs
94. Carlos Correa – He’s been so much better than this, and, maybe next preseason, I will bite the bullet and move Correa up to around the top 40 where he belongs, but, for now, meh, I just can’t. Projections: 41/13/44/.266/1 in 261 ABs
95. Alex Bregman – Is he even playing? Haha, what a mess, but, honestly, if someone said to you, ‘Bregman or Bryan Reynolds in a trade’ you would still gamble on Bregman, right? Projections: 32/12/31/.266/2 in 221 ABs
96. Bryan Reynolds – You’d want Reynolds? All right, fair enough! You’re always right and I’m…always…*sobbing uncontrollably*…wrong. I’m very emotional right now! Projections: 37/10/34/.271/3 in 261 ABs
97. Kris Bryant – It feels pretty recent that we thought I was crazy to rank Bryant around 130 overall in the preseason, and now I think I might be too high on Bryant again. Projections: 42/12/37/.266/2 in 239 ABs
98. Chris Taylor – As I kinda said in the preseason, I should never underestimate Dave Roberts’s willingness to play Taylor every game. And that’s me paraphrasing me! Projections: 37/9/30/.256/5 in 248 ABs
99. Eduardo Escobar – I needed a few lines of blow to get through this list so I included Escobar. Projections: 35/13/42/.247/1 in 269 ABs
100. Ke’Bryan Hayes – Wasn’t a great season so far, but this one is essentially saying to you, “Put down the pumpkin spice, you basic snitch, and take a flyer on a guy who could be a top 50 guy in the 2nd half.” Projections: 32/8/37/.281/6 in 269 ABs
101. Vidal Brujan – I put Brujan here to make a point that I make again in the next blurb, but it’s a point worth making more than once. No one thought Jared Walsh would be a top 20 player overall on the Player Rater for the 1st half of the season. I wrote a Jared Walsh sleeper post and I didn’t think it possible. In a half season (or 40% of the season as the case is now), anyone, even Brujan can be a top 100 player, and, better yet, they could be a top 20 overall player. Projections: 32/6/26/.261/14 in 241 ABs
102. Jarren Duran – This isn’t just Duran. This is Shane Baz, Jarred Kelenic, Jo Adell or a host of other prospects. (Here’s a top 50 stash list of fantasy baseball prospects.) This ranking is whoever is called up. Like Wander and Brujan, in a split second, they could be called up and be worth a top 100 pick. You need to evaluate how much risk you can handle on your bench. Likely a guy like Adam Frazier, who isn’t ranked here, will be worth more than Duran and others, but what fun is ending with a name like Adam Frazier? Now, Adam Frazier on the Yankees…Interesting. Projections: upside/upside/upside/upside/upside
103. Whoever Helps You Win – Don’t get tied to projections and rankings and “I drafted this guy in the 4th round this year.” Yeah, we all hate Adalberto Mondesi, not just you. The worst thing you can do at this stage is hold onto players just because of what they could do vs. what they are doing. What they are doing is what wins championships and that’s what excites the ladies in your daydreams and your daydreams are real to you.
FYI, I’M GOING INTO THE HOSPITAL FOR A PROCEDURE EARLY TUESDAY MORNING SO IF THIS IS THE LAST POST YOU EVER READ FROM ME, THEN I HAVE ONE QUESTION FOR YOU: WHY ARE YOU NOT GOING BACK TO READ OTHER POSTS OF MINE FOR MEMORY’S SAKE? KIDDING ASIDE, I’LL BE FINE — THAT’S WHAT THE DOCTORS SAID WHILE EVILLY LAUGHING — BUT I MAY BE LATE TO ANSWER COMMENTS, SO HELP EACH OTHER AND I’LL GET INTO THE COMMENTS PROLLY AROUND MID-DAY OR SO.
