Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to get through this thing called a fantasy baseball season.  I was dreamin’ when I wrote this, forgive me if I recommend starting a hitter vs. Jake Arrieta and pray.  I’m not a woman, I’m not a man, I am Bartolo Colon and you will never understand how I get on these pants.  1, 2, 1, 2, 3.  Yeah.  I was working part-time in a five-and-dime, my boss was Willie McGee.  U got the look.  Jesus, McGee, that look.  Twenty-three positions in a one night stand.  Twenty-three positions in a very deep league fantasy team.  Who’s my short-second-short-1st baseman?  Why do we scream at each other?  This is what it sounds like when David Price’s owners cry.  “Sorry to hear about Chyna,” said the ghost of Farrah Fawcett.  Arrieta, you got the batter’s fly balls all tied up!  Don’t make the outfielders chase you!  Even doves have pride.  Why do we scream at each other when we don’t own Jake Arrieta?  So, Arrieta threw a no-hitter yesterday — 9 IP, 0 ER, 4 BBs, 6 Ks.  Rather economical pitch count too (119).  Member when we were able to own him last year by drafting him in the 8th round?  Alas, he’s a Sexy M.F. and I would die 4 U.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Kris Bryant – 4-for-6, 4 runs, 6 RBIs and two home runs (3, 4).  Bryant hit a grand slam when the game was already 9-0.  After the game, A-Rod texted him, “I couldn’t be any prouder if you kissed a reflection of yourself dressed as a centaur.

Ben Zobrist – 3-for-5, 3 RBIs and his 1st homer.  For the Cubs yesterday, there was such a barrage of badonkadonks it was like J. Lo walking in front of shattered glass.

Anthony Rizzo – 1-for-6, 2 runs, 3 RBIs and his 5th homer.  HR to the Rizzo!

Jorge Soler – 1-for-5 as the Cubs scored 16 runs.  Ticker tease!

David Ross – 2-for-4, 3 runs and his 1st homer.  I wonder if this Ross could lend his shoulder to Tyson Ross.  *thinking about David Ross’s throwing ability*  Eh, maybe it’s for the best it stays as it is.

Homer Bailey – Ready for rehab outings.  Cool, where are the outings to?  Six Flags?

Billy Hamilton – Bruised his thumb and will be out a couple of days.  That’s the thumb Hamilton uses to bum rides to 1st base.

Brandon Finnegan – 4 IP, 5 ER.  The Regression Fairies love that place that makes the wheatgrass shakes, they can’t locate their rainbow short-shorts but they know they have them, and they will defecate on your pitcher’s ratios.

Aaron BlairBraves are likely calling him up.  I like the Braves’ moxie.  They got moxie!  Good for them promoting prospects and not sitting on their hands and farting like the Padres.  Blair is not a top prospect, but he could be a middle of the rotation-type arm.  A low ceiling, high floor type.  A Mertin-Flemmer.  In Triple-A, he has a 1.42 ERA and 10.4 K/9 in only 19 IP.  He’s likely closer to a 7 K/9, 3.75-4.25 ERA guy, which isn’t anything to sneeze at in deeper leagues, unless you’re allergic to useful backend starters.

Matt Wisler – 6 2/3 IP, 0 ER, 6 baserunners, 6 Ks, ERA at 3.10.  I remember during draft season someone mentioned to me that Wisler was a pitcher to keep an eye due to Glavine teaching Wisler a new pitch (or maybe it was Smoltz or Maddux or maybe Smoltz, Glavine or Maddux told me).  This is all very exact, my words to you.  Any hoo!  I drafted Wisler on one deep league team, and I’d start to look at him as a streamer in mixed leagues, but I would double-check the Stream-o-Nator first.

Adonis Garcia – 2-for-4, hitting .280.  I haven’t grabbed him anywhere, but I’m silently admiring Adonis, like a Helen Keller fantasy baseballer.

Clayton Kershaw – 8 IP, 1 ER, 11 baserunners, 10 Ks.  That’s a ton of hits for Kershaw to give up vs. the Braves.  Two hits by Francoeur, two hits by Stubbs, two hits by Franklin Stubbs…I mean, geez Mary-Louise Parker is a foxy cougar, be my main squeeze.  Yo, George Jeff, where’s Weez?  *unveils pistachios*  Deez?  Damn, I’d love some Wise Waffles de Cheez.  Sorry, sometimes you just need to rhyme.

Corey Seager – 1-for-5, 1 run, 1st steal, hitting .226.  Okay, I’m ready for a spider wearing a Trevor Story jersey to bite Seager.

Jered Weaver – 7 IP, 1 ER, 5 baserunners, 2 Ks, ERA at 3.12. *looks at Archer’s ERA, looks at Weaver’s, looks at Price’s, looks at Weaver’s*  I feel like I’m in an Australian toilet and the earth is spinning the wrong way.

Mike Trout – 2-for-2, 2 RBIs and his 2nd homer.  I was surprised to hear some people were buying Trout low.  Man, fantasy baseballers have one short-ass memory.  Is Trout really done in people’s eyes?  C’mon, doodes and five non-doodes.

Albert Pujols – 0-for-4, hitting .148.  I should’ve waited for the 10th round.

John Danks – 6 IP, 2 ER, 10 baserunners, 2 Ks, ERA at 6.23.  Gavin Floyd commented on Danks’ Facebook page, “Danks…choen for rocking so awesomely!”  Floyd still truly misses their time together.

Melky Cabrera – 1-for-3 and his 1st homer.  Though, I only saw the box score, so Melky could’ve changed the box score HTML to show a homer.

Todd Frazier – 2-for-4 and his 4th homer, and two homers in three games.  The repairman is coming by later to close the Frazier Buy Window, might want to get in quickly.

Shelby Miller – 2 IP, 2 ER, 6 baserunners (5 BBs), 1 K.  At least the Diamondbacks didn’t pay much to acquire Miller.  Sorry, there’s no place for sarcasm here.  At least the Diamondbacks don’t have to worry about when to call up some of the best prospects in baseball, and a free mind is priceless, says a self-help book probably.

Yasmany Tomas – 1-for-4 and his 3rd homer.  He’s been hot schmotato’ing for a few days now.  I almost added him into the Buy column that’s coming later today, but he’s here now, act accordingly, you accordion actor!

Jake Lamb – 2-for-4, 1 run and his 2nd steal.  That’s the fastest Lamb outside of Scotland!

Jean Segura – 3-for-5, 1 run, 2 RBIs, hitting .338.  He hit a triple late and chased home two runs to foreclose on Ziegler.  I’ve been proclaiming my love for Segura for three years, so there’s no reason to ask if I like him.  I do; I’d also like to be in the league where he’s not already owned.

Chris Owings – 2-for-4, 1 run and 2 steals (2, 3).  Since Owings doesn’t possess blazing speed, I’m gonna go out on a 100-year oak limb and say Trevor Brown doesn’t have the best arm in baseball.  Worth noting for SAGNOF.

Johnny Cueto – 7 IP, 3 ER, 8 baserunners, 3 Ks, ERA at 3.49.  Some guys go from 6+ ERA to 2+ ERA from one month to another, other guys are just a 3.50 ERA pitcher all the time.  Cueto seems to be a latter.  Great, now Altuve is climbing up his back.  Altuve, he’s not a ladder!  Get down!

Eddie Rosario – 4-for-4, 1 run, 1 RBI, 2nd steal and had two straight games with homers prior to this.  Hot schmotato alert!  Do not pass Go, do not collect other random hot schmotatoes, collect this one!

Miguel Sano – 2-for-2, 2 RBIs and his 2nd homer.  As I said the other day, Sano is the type of guy to go on a ten-homer in eleven-day journey around the majors.  While still hitting .190.  And that’s me saying the same thing I kinda said previously!

Brian Dozier – 1-for-4, 2 runs and his 2nd homer.  Sure was a lot of offense yesterday.  *looks at my team that went 0-for-25 with a run*  Sigh.

Robinson Cano – 3-for-5, 2 runs, 4 RBIs and his 6th homer, hitting .246.  Cano’s going full vetard strength, and you never want to go full vetard strength.

Adam Lind – 2-for-5, 2 runs, hitting .220, hitting near-.350 in the last week.  Could be a rising schmotato.  I’d lose the monocle and grab him if you’re hurting for a hot bat.

Nate Karns – 5 1/3 IP, 4 ER vs. Cody Anderson 3 2/3 IP, 5 ER.  This matchup was called by fantasy owners, “Sleepers?  More like put my team to sleep, you’re killing it.”

Rajai Davis – 2-for-5, 3 RBIs and his 2nd homer.  The King of SAGNOF seems as if he’s challenging Colby Rasmus for the crown to the King of Short Schedule Day.  Heavy is the head that wears two imaginary crowns.  That’s a line from King Henry Urrutia.

Cody Allen – 1 2/3 IP, 3 ER, ERA up to 8.53.  No lie, I took about 15 minutes to see if I could squeeze Bryan Shaw or Zach McAllister onto all of my fantasy teams.  I did for Shaw on one team, but I left him on my bench for now, because his ERA is 17.36.  I don’t think Allen is going to be replaced immediately and I’m not sure Shaw is the answer either.  If you have a bench bat you can lose, sure, stash Shaw, but I wouldn’t put him in my lineup at this point.  No one looks good in the Indians bullpen; they should all be embarrassed.  Notice how I didn’t say red-faced.

Luis Severino – 6 IP, 2 ER, 7 baserunners, 4 Ks, ERA at 4.86.  Maybe I’m being too reactionary here, but I am kinda over Severino.  His K-rate is abysmal.  Under 6 K/9?  Is that a joke?  Cause I’m not laughing.  I’m hanging around for one more start, but I’m actively looking elsewhere.

Khris Davis – 1-for-4 and his 1st homer.  The sleeping giant (A?) has awoken!  I was thinking he might’ve on Wednesday when he had two hits, but now it’s definite.  I’d pick him up again if he was dropped after his terrible start; he’s the type that could hit five homers in a week.

Rich Hill – 6 IP, 1 ER, 7 baserunners, 10 Ks, ERA at 3.32.  Take notes, Severino, that’s what I’m looking for, 10 Ks in six innings.  What’s that, Severino?  How do you spells “Ks?”  Give me the notepad!

Coco Crisp – 2-for-3, 2 runs and a slam (2) and legs (4).  Nice to see him play while Billy Burns (1-for-5, 4th steal) was still in the lineup.  Not sure why the A’s couldn’t do this lineup prior.  In fact, they looked clicked into place with Valencia sidelined; Chris Coghlan (1-for-4, 2 RBIs, 2nd homer) and Mark Canha (1-for-4, 2 RBIs, 2nd homer) both getting in on the action, too.  Between Canha, Coco Crisp and Coghlan, the A’s got hard C’s for days.  Congrats on gettin’ a-crackin’.

Mike Moustakas – 2-for-3 and his 5th homer.  Moistasskiss!

Edinson Volquez – 7 IP, 0 ER, 6 baserunners, 5 Ks, ERA at 1.46.  Okay, I’m ready for Chris Archer to get his ERA under 7 and Edinson’s over 3.  Thanks, Fantasy Overlord!

Jarrod Dyson – 1-for-2 and his 2nd steal in as many games.  He’s playing every day and stealing.  SAGNOF!

Alcides Escobar – 2-for-3, 1 run, 1 RBI and his 4th steal.  You don’t have to watch Narcos to own Escobar.

Max Scherzer – 5 IP, 5 ER, ERA up to 4.32.  Bad week to quit amphetamines, bad week to own a top tier starter, except for Arrieta, obvi.

Bryce Harper – 1-for-4 and his 8th homer.  Is it me or does he keep homering in a game where it’s his only hit?  So, as a non-Harper owner, am I rooting for him to get two hits in every game?

Tom Koehler – 5 IP, 1 ER, 3 baserunners, 5 Ks.  Sonavabench!  Let me explain, I own Koehler in a deep NL-Only league and I benched him this week.  I wasn’t implying that I call my Koehler toilet a son of my bench.

Marcell Ozuna – 1-for-4, 3 RBIs and his 2nd homer.  OZUNA eat fastballs for lunch.  OZUNA poop out homers.  OZUNA maybe should eat prunes.

Joey Rickard – 3-for-5, 2 runs and his 1st steal, hitting .350.  He now has two three-hit games in a row.  JR’s hueing yellow to red on the hot schmotato scale.

Dallas Keuchel – 6 IP, 6 ER, ERA up to 3.71  Speaking of JR hueing, this Dallas has JR spewin’.  I wouldn’t have drafted Keuchel in any league, and I bet you could trade him away to someone who thinks they’re getting a Buy Low.  Or not, I mean, you drafted him not listening to me, so you’ll prolly hold him for the same reason.

Colby Rasmus – 2-for-3, 3 RBIs and 2 homers.  Hey, Rajai, you come for the crown of the King of Short Schedule Day, you best come harder than that.

Ian Desmond – 2-for-4, 2 runs, 3 RBIs and his 1st homer.  Damn, now he’s gonna get hot.  I’m annoyed because I was counting on Desmond getting knocked out of the outfield if Choo returns.  I don’t want their outfield to become a nightmare of playing time.

Keone Kela – Headed for surgery to have a bone spur removed.  Hmm, figured the Rangers would appreciate spurs.

Gerrit Cole – 6 IP, 0 ER, 4 baserunners, 7 Ks, ERA at 2.70.  Ooh, so fancy with your safe ace ERA numbers!  Ain’t you Prince Charles?!

Melvin Upton – 1-for-3 and his 5th steal.  Ugh, stop giving fantasy value.  I just can’t!

Francisco Cervelli – 2-for-5, 1 run, 2 RBIs.  I could’ve sworn there were a few people asking to drop Cervelli in the comments the last few days.  He’s hitting .340!  Try to deal with d’Arnaud or Mesoraco for one day!

Erasmo Ramirez – 1 1/3 IP, 0 ER and his 4th win, ERA at 1.29.  Yup, just the way I drew it up when I drafted Erasmo, and benched him for three straight weeks in a weekly league because he hasn’t been in the rotation.  Played to perfection.  *cuts ghost pepper, rubs hands on seeds, sticks hands in eyes*

Jake Odorizzi – 4 IP, 5 ER in Fenway.  Think you had to be a glutton for punishment if you started Odorizzi yesterday after what the Red Sox did to Archer, and I’m on a glutton-free diet.

Evan Longoria – 2-for-6, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 3rd homer, hitting .258.  He’s on pace for around 25 homers.  Scary thing, he’s actually been hot.

Curt Casali – 2-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 1st homer.  Curt Casali sounds like he’s roommates with Nicholas Tropeano.

Carson Smith – Nearing rehab assignment.  I hope he’s not using Waze during rush hour.  “Make a left”  “Across this five-lane highway?”  “Yes, I am the Waze.  Now go.”

David Price – 3 2/3 IP, 8 ER.  The Price is wrong, Bob.  Very wrong.  Like walking in on your parents while your brother is secretly videotaping them wrong. Price’s ERA is now 7.02.  I’ll give you my Archer for him!  The funny thing (if you don’t own Price) this onslaught of your fantasy ratios came against the Rays.  Logan Forsythe (3-for-4, 3 runs, 1 RBI) too much for you, Price?  Logan Forsythe, who sounds like he wears Izod, is too much, Price?  Shame on you, Price.  I’m even bringing out the douchey one word sentences.  Shame.  On.  You.  So, what do we do with Price?  Within reason, I’d be buying right now.

Dustin Pedroia – 3-for-6, 2 RBIs and his 1st homer.  Reading those inspirational cat posters sent to him by Altuve has paid off.

Mookie Betts – 2-for-6, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 4th homer, and 2nd in as many games.  Oh, it’s on.  You Betts.

Brock Holt – 2-for-4, 1 RBI and his 2nd steal; Travis Shaw went 2-for-5, 1 run, 1 RBI and his 2nd steal, too.  Too bad they’re not just one player by the name of Brock Shaw, because that would be the best name ever.  Though, Brock anything is solid, except Brock Lee.

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mike ferrari
mike ferrari
6 years ago

my eaton for jake the snake mcgee?

I have miller (chapman)

Colome (boxberger) – could he keep the job?

and allen (shit era)

Hello!
Hello!
6 years ago

Keeper league, $10 min..

$10 Matt Harvey and $20 billy Hamilton

For

$10 joc Pederson and $10 Jason hammel

What side? Thanks.

True and Correct
True and Correct
6 years ago

Regarding Prince. 68 years old and huge music lover. Losing Bowie and now Prince within 3 months is beyond sad. I’d place the the 2 of them in the Pantheon of 20th century musical geniuses and innovators. To keep hearing the clamor for how Prince died, and TMZ’S thirst for the almighty dollar as well as besmirching Prince’s legacy is infuriating. Won’t change a thing. He was a genius. Soft spoken, low profile, non celebrity wonder in a celebrity laden world. I understand that there’s a market for “why” and the media’s crazed need for a drug connection, but damn, doesn’t matter. He’s gone.

True and Correct
True and Correct
6 years ago

R.O.S. Bogaerts v. Seager ? Salary cap league. Bogaerts $1 mil./ Seager (Corey) $790. $30 mil. cap. 18 hitters/12 pitchers. Thanks.

twee lil pweegs
twee lil pweegs
6 years ago

It’s been seven hours and fifteen days, since my horrible draft.
I go out every night and drink all day
and with all due respect to jake arrieta
nothing compare to you (darvish)

A Wesley Snipes Life
A Wesley Snipes Life
6 years ago

snell stuff.
1. 12 team h2h redraft with OPS, BB’s and K’s. . drop which of these for snell’s start: porcello, kendricks, or h.kendrick (lone BN bat, backup 2B). could get back maybe j.lowrie later if kendrick gets grabbed, plus kendrick has been awful as is so far. have 8 SP, 7 moves per week but haven’t been streaming yet.
2. 20 team league, drop karns for snell, best options to replace karns later are: shoemaker, nolasco, griffin, morton, vogel, weave, chacin?

Scott Kimmel
Scott Kimmel
6 years ago

grey,

I have an offer on the table. The guy is offering Hamels and a-gon. He wants Cueto and one of these players: E5, Altuve, Donaldson, Cain, Marte, Trout, Max, Harvey, Bum, or deGrom. Are any of them worth it or should I pass?

Cram It
Cram It
Reply to  Scott Kimmel
6 years ago

@OaktownSteve:@Scott Kimmel: None of those.

A Wesley Snipes Life
A Wesley Snipes Life
6 years ago

16 team roto with net saves and holds, but no saves or holds alone, QS over wins and K/BB. 1500 max innings so i can bench guys here and there (tillman last night)

SP cole, liriano, tillman, pineda, porcello, buchholz, fiers,
RP britton, giles, benoit, watson,hudson
and kela who just hit DL
DL romo, bailey (CIN), heaney, ryu, wheeler
NA stephenson

1. who’s my DL drop for kela? probably bailey
2. drop tillman/fiers for either of straily/hill? Fiers usually comes back to be dominant for a while though at some point

3. in general in deeper leagues, karns or shoemaker? (redraft 20 teamer, 75 moves left per year).

4. 12 team redraft with deep benches. if tropeano isn’t good again today (maybe even if so), drop for
straily vs CUBS 6.9 (sat)
blair vs NYM -5,8 (sun)
or grab hill, since he was just recently damn good for a 2nd time. hill’s next start @ DET is mucho hated by SON.

Warren
Warren
6 years ago

Ok, made that Lorenzo Cain for Joe Ross trade…Nats fan who was in love with the younger Ross brother.

Current roster (5×5 OBP)

C: Cervelli
1B: Rizzo
2B: Odor
SS: Correa
3B: Manny
OF: Harper
OF: Betts
OF: Polanco
UTIL: Donaldson
Bench: Cain

SP: Arrieta
SP: Syndergaard
SP: Matz
SP: Iglesias
SP: Walker
RP: Familia
RP: Britton

Bench: Gausman, Hammell, Odorizzi, Moore.

It’s a keeper league and I have Polanco at a good price so I’d prefer to hang onto him. Is it bad to immediately repackage Lorenzo in a Cain + Walker/Hammell type deal for a struggling ace? (Scherzer, Price, etc)

Warren
Warren
Reply to  Warren
6 years ago

@Warren: weekly league, so the alternative is to platoon Polanco and Cain based on their weekly hittertron numbers.

dom
dom
6 years ago

trying to help my father’s team’s OF situation.. they got an old school 4×4 (R+RBI, No K) 12 teamer, he’s looking to pick up an OF but all I see is Rickard, BJ Upton, Ben Paulsen might qualify at some point, not much… Melky bleh… Rasmus maybe? what do you think

Mike
Mike
6 years ago

Snell is just for a spot start right? Worth a pickup in shallow formats?

Todd25
Todd25
Reply to  Mike
6 years ago

@Mike: Rays like having Erasmo in the pen, where he’s done well. If Snell performs well, there’s a good chance he sticks in the 5 spot. He’s got nothing left to prove in the minors.

Baseball Fan 2000
Baseball Fan 2000
6 years ago

Snell was just called up. in a 10 team 5×5 league in which i have 4 other closers, should I drop Jepsen for him?

JP
JP
6 years ago

Thanks for answering all these questions

In need of power and better pitching

Trade my Carlos Gomez, Andrus, Odorizzi for Rasmus, Russell, Liriano?

OaktownSteve
OaktownSteve
6 years ago

Snell will be called up for the Rays to pitch vs Yanks

OaktownSteve
OaktownSteve
Reply to  OaktownSteve
6 years ago

@OaktownSteve:

tomorrow

ShidestheLimit
ShidestheLimit
Reply to  Grey
6 years ago

Snell a must add in 12-team mixed?

The mack dad will make ya….KHRIS KHRUSH will make ya…uh huh uh huh

A Wesley Snipes Life
A Wesley Snipes Life
Reply to  Grey
6 years ago

@Grey: F a duck, it’s nice to be first in at the right time.

William Hung
William Hung
6 years ago

@Grey: After not asking a question yesterday, I am coming at you with 2 after my trade for Frazier has finally processed. This stays with my season-long theme of trying to find a little more power for my team…

1. My 2B are currently: Rendon, Kipnis, and Schoop. Should I drop one of them for Byung Ho Park or Mark Texiera?
2. Travis d’Arnaud, ultimate tease, was recently dropped. Tomato/Tomahto, since I’m a Mets fan I wanted to know if picking him up and dropping Wieters is a zero sum move.

OaktownSteve
OaktownSteve
6 years ago

My favorite take on Arrieta: he’s pitched two no hitters since his last regular season loss.

Cram It
Cram It
Reply to  OaktownSteve
6 years ago

@OaktownSteve: So Jeopardy….rigged eh? How so. Are people given time to study the answers ahead of time?

OaktownSteve
OaktownSteve
Reply to  Cram It
6 years ago

@Cram It:

When you try out for the show you do a test with 100 questions from 100 different categories so they have a pretty good idea what you know and what you don’t. They manipulate the categories to try and influence the winner. Not totally rigged but gamed. They don’t give any pre-study material. The number one thing people ask me.

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater
Dr. Kenneth Noisewater
Reply to  OaktownSteve
6 years ago

@OaktownSteve: Yeah, I commented last night on your Jeopardy story. I want more, no…I need more Oak.

OaktownSteve
OaktownSteve
Reply to  Dr. Kenneth Noisewater
6 years ago

@Dr. Kenneth Noisewater:

Totally messed with Alex. He was pissed. Every time I missed one he did the old…”Oh no…noooooooooooo.” And a couple of “you picked the wrong one.”

Alex during my interview “…how stupid do I feel.”

Me: “only you would know.”

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater
Dr. Kenneth Noisewater
Reply to  OaktownSteve
6 years ago

@OaktownSteve: I loved the Bigfoot and Rubix Cube stories.

I’m off my Jeopardy game but 11k is a pretty good take home for not winning, no?

OaktownSteve
OaktownSteve
Reply to  Dr. Kenneth Noisewater
6 years ago

I won once. Was on before they doubled the $

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater
Dr. Kenneth Noisewater
Reply to  OaktownSteve
6 years ago

@OaktownSteve: Well done sir. Color me impressed.

Jimmy Green
Jimmy Green
6 years ago

1) Looking to upgrade 1b. Who’s the better buy-low candidate, Votto or Abreu? Think I can get Votto for slightly cheaper, if that effects your answer

2) Think I know you’ll answer, but Severino or Conforto?

3) My Raise the Church Roof, Parra, and Hanley for his D. Price? (could counter with any of Corbin/Odorizzi/Walker/J Ross, though I think he only accepts for Raisel–doesn’t hurt to try)

Jimmy Green
Jimmy Green
Reply to  Jimmy Green
6 years ago

@Jimmy Green: Another Price option is my Cano for his Price straight up

Dropping Dingleberries
Dropping Dingleberries
6 years ago

I know I’m crazy and/or I’ll be laughed at. Keeper legue just sent out a best offer for Fat Alber gets him. Was offered Grichuck or Carlos Gomez or Delino DeShields. Would I be crazy to take any of those?

JeF WiTh 1 F
JeF WiTh 1 F
Reply to  Grey
6 years ago

@Grey: Yeah but you’d take him over Trout too lol

Reno 911
Reno 911
6 years ago

I also have Erasmo in a weekly league (points). It’s CBS, and they never know when/if he’s starting. In their defense, maybe the Rays don’t either. WTF is going to happen with him? Will Cobb or Snell be their #5, or will ER ever be in that spot?

Reno 911
Reno 911
Reply to  Grey
6 years ago

Thanks. 11 pitcher spots. I have Kershaw, Kluber, Kimbrel, Smyly and Melancon, who always start (for now). That leaves two more starting spots I need to fill. I’m thinking about dropping Erasmo for Kendal Graveman and his two starts next week. What do you think?

Reno 911
Reno 911
Reply to  Grey
6 years ago

Thanks. I will be doing so asap. In a bay-area league with five or six A’s fans. If he pans out, he’ll be good trade-bait as well.

Steve
Steve
6 years ago

Severino or Quintana ROS? QS, K/9, W, WHIP, ERA

quimmy
quimmy
6 years ago

Grey, traded Gonzo for Archer and then proceeded to flip Archer for Todd Frazier 2 minutes later. Good move?

PhilOssieB
PhilOssieB
6 years ago

Is Liriano a good buy-low or is he going to keep giving up Annie Oakley’s like its 1910?

Enrique
6 years ago

Hi Grey,

Three questions before the weekend break:

A. In a deep roto league with separate categories for saves and holds my relievers are: Casilla, Soria, Andrew Miller, Giles, Cotham, Joe Smith. I’m weak on saves and mid-pack on holds. But I only have five roster slots where I can put an RP so I should probably drop one for a reliever with SP eligibility (as it is, one is always benched). The candidates are: Phelps, Trevor May, Adam Warren, Jesse Chavez. which would you pick? And who’d you drop to make room?

B. Are you benching both Corbin (v. PITT) and Matt Moore (@NYY) tonight? The SoN dislikes both starts. I can make a case for both: the Pirates are hitting the Mendoza line against LHP, and the SoN has Moore down to go tomorrow v. Tanaka and not today v. Sabathia, and that favors Moore more. But I’m still likely to sit both unless you think one or the other is a good start.

C. And, lastly, in another league, it would be helpful to have a decent guy eligible at multiple positions but the pickings are slim: Eduardo Escobar, Chris Owings, José Ramírez, Jed Lowrie, Jonathan Villar. Are any of those guys worth rostering in a 16-team roto league? Or am I better off playing match ups?

Many thanks … looking froward to by & sell later. Have a good weekend!

Enrique
Reply to  Grey
6 years ago

@Grey: Thanks a lot, Grey.

jacks
jacks
6 years ago

Do I jump ship on Carlos Gomez in my 10 team 4X4 league and trade him for Yelich? Selling low, but wow he doesn’t belong in an MLB lineup right now and I’m not convinced he can right this ship.

Relsh
Relsh
6 years ago

Grey, my day was off to a poor start during a typical Friday morning troublesome bathroom session. Then I read this post, and the rhythm and pop of that opening paragraph soothed my insides with the grace of an angel.

Isn’t it ridiculous David Ross came out of retirement for this season? 10 years from now, 2026, it’s going to be the norm in fantasy to have two “Defensive Catchers” on the roster, standard leagues are now 5x5x5. Third category is compiled pitching stats of all the games he caught for the week, and that same year Mark Buehrle will probably go on to pitch his second perfect game.

Frank White
Frank White
6 years ago

Last question i swear.. Lol. Would you chance Iwakuma vs Santiago @ LAA?

phil
phil
6 years ago

should I give up on Wainwright or start him tonight ?

Frank White
Frank White
6 years ago

Erasmo or Jeanmar Gomez? I already have Erasmo but 2nd question.. Is Erasmo starting this weekend or anytime soon if not?

Frank White
Frank White
Reply to  Grey
6 years ago

Thanks!!! Is Erasmo supposed be a starter anytime soon or is he staying in the Pen? 10 team h2H points mixed

Bob
Bob
6 years ago

Would you Drop Schoop for Ian Desmond Or Kang?
Would you drop Piscotty for Saunders or Tomas?

job3rd
job3rd
6 years ago

10-teamer, standard 5×5…

Offering Velazquez or Corbin and Jeanmar or Madson for Price…

Fair? and Who wins? Fanks!

job3rd
job3rd
Reply to  Grey
6 years ago

@Grey: Yeah, I don’t want to violate the guy. He is in 8th in saves and has just 2 closers (10-team) … so I was trying to help him out..Okay, I guess I am violating him somewhat. Thanks, via a round of Daiquiris, on the way.

job3rd
job3rd
Reply to  Grey
6 years ago

@Grey: Sorry Grizzle, one more: Would Pineda or Rodon and Familia for Price be fair? Or, is this still lopsided? Thanks again!

job3rd
job3rd
Reply to  job3rd
6 years ago

@job3rd: Or has this become a deal that I don’t want?

Brian
Brian
6 years ago

16 team dynasty h2h with QS and k/bb. I have gausman coming off the DL. drop peavy, davies, or verrett? we don’t use holds.

omar
omar
6 years ago

9 Team AL Only 5×5 Stadard Roto

Which side?

Kyle Seager
Nomar Mazara
Roberto Osuna
Sean Doolittle

vs

Carlos Gomez
Justin Upton
Drew Smyly

Merci !!

Wake Up
6 years ago

Can Finnegan close now?

Wake Up
Reply to  Grey
6 years ago

@Grey: He left in a Wake…and now all the earwigs are climbing in my flowerpots…

Wake Up
Reply to  Grey
6 years ago

@Grey: Here comes everybody!

Frank White
Frank White
6 years ago

Sup Grey.. I got 2 Iffy pitchers on my squad, Iwakuma and Chen and it’s not being racist.. Lol Anyway i want to drop Iwakuma cause Rich Hill is out there but if i grab Hill now I’ll loose a start tomorrow. Would you chance it and wait until tomorrow or is Hill not worth it?? Thanks

Boswell
Boswell
6 years ago

Shoemaker vs Seattle in Anaheim or chase Anderson vs Philly in Milwaukee

Wake Up
6 years ago

I also have Arrieta on every team…and shit on banana plants to make them produce large fruit, and flowers that smell of freshly chewed hops…there used to be a maple tree in my way, that has since bowed in such a way as to allow me easier passage, and when I walk by it, it drips fresh syrup right in my mouth…

Wake Up
Reply to  Grey
6 years ago

@Grey: Ah shucks you noticed…

Eric
Eric
6 years ago

Graveman or Santiago?

Norbs
Norbs
6 years ago

Happy Friday! Questions for a 10-tm weekly H2H redraft 6×5 (OPS added) league:
1. have Russel at 2B & Lawrie on bench (one was insurance in case Story failed to impress). Drop one/ both for Segura or Panik or Walker?
2. Current SP: Thor – JoFer – Walker – Iglesias -Matz – Corbin – Hendricks – Chen – Corbin (start 5 each week). Drop any for Moore and/or Pomeranz ?
Thanks as always

Ryan Doumit
Ryan Doumit
6 years ago

Trade offer… I have two offered to me in a 12 team H2H:

HanRam & Story for Grienke – I receive Grienke

Aaron Sanchez & C. Seager for Braun – I get Braun

If I accept both, it would deplete my SS position and would need to grab a JJ Hardy type of player.

Ryan Doumit
Ryan Doumit
Reply to  Grey
6 years ago

@Grey: Danke.

Jake
Jake
6 years ago

Would you drop Rendon for Kike Her. or Panik? Or are we holding out hopes that Rendon recaptures his former skill?

Chris
Chris
6 years ago

Pick 2: Tomas, Pedroia, Chris Carter, Souza, Upton (Melvin), Rajai Davis. Thanks!

Wywyz
Wywyz
6 years ago

Trade Marte and Dozier for Trout?

Vinny Boombatz
Vinny Boombatz
6 years ago

The sheeps are fastest in Wyoming.

SDB
SDB
6 years ago

Heyo Grey!

Would you trade Trevor Story for Carlos Gomez?
I feel like the sell high on Story is slip slippin’ away as he comes back to earth, but Gomez, is he headed to the bench?

Thanks!

Joe
Joe
6 years ago

Better add: Lamb or Yasmany?

Swfcdan
Swfcdan
6 years ago

Greyt roundup as always, you must devote hours to these each evening as they are much more in depth than other sites!

Deeper (16 teamer with OBP over BA and TB over HR’s). M Cabrera/Jefress for Fielder/C-Mart/Rodney, which side?

Funky
Funky
6 years ago

Dynasty –
Machado / Gomez / Bregman / 1st round pick
for
McCutchen / Rendon / Story / Maeda

My offense looks like this:
C Ramos
1B A Gonzalez
2B Kipnis
3B Beltre
SS Machado
IF Hosmer
OF Rasmus
OF Pagan
OF BJUpton
UT Park
BN Tulo, Gomez, Duffy
DL Blackmon, Brantley

OF is ugly with the injuries, not to mention I lost and traded Pollock as well.

apoxonbothyourhouses
apoxonbothyourhouses
6 years ago

Drop Eickhoff for Blair?

apoxonbothyourhouses
apoxonbothyourhouses
Reply to  apoxonbothyourhouses
6 years ago

@apoxonbothyourhouses: oh, and thanks for everything!

Kyle Kendrick
Kyle Kendrick
6 years ago

Would you lose Severino for Santiago?

Toe Knee Arm Ass
Toe Knee Arm Ass
6 years ago

Grabbed Utley going into Coors in one league looking for some vetard strength.

knucks
knucks
Reply to  Toe Knee Arm Ass
6 years ago

@Toe Knee Arm Ass: Yes! I’m either going Utley or Kendrick here for the weekend. With plans to drop on Sunday night and add Jaso leading off in Coors for four straight games next week. Isn’t really another decent PIT bat available for me, but could use the potential Runs/OBP.

ROTO OVERLORD
ROTO OVERLORD
6 years ago

ROS Who do you like more? Rasmus or Tomas? Why is Steamer so low on Rasmus?

Toe Knee Arm Ass
Toe Knee Arm Ass
6 years ago

I’m thinking Milwaukee knew something when they sent Gomez for Santana. Santana may already be the better player.

Toe Knee Arm Ass
Toe Knee Arm Ass
Reply to  Grey
6 years ago

@Grey: I was looking at draft recaps when I wrote it. Like to get a feel of where a player was drafted before I do the buy low. Just went through 5 leagues quick 31, 31, 35, 42, and 44. I don’t think people got the message yet. Those are pretty high picks.

Wywyz
Wywyz
6 years ago

I have 4 pitchers occupying my 3 DL spots (Norris, Cobb, Heaney, Eduardo). Would you drop any to pick up Melvin Upton?

peacecoast
peacecoast
Reply to  Grey
6 years ago

@Grey: do You think Heaney is bad ROS or just injured and done?

Wake Up
6 years ago

Bryant blurb…HA!

I heard ARod walked up to “Kiss” last night…perfect.

Nico
Nico
6 years ago

I got questions!

1. What’s up w/ Eovaldi? All signs point to positive regression (or PROgression), but looks like he’s throwing a lot of changeup and it’s getting crushed… Will this be another season of good xFIP bad ERA?

2. Buy low on Price or stay away? Guys FB velocity has dropped like Dwayne Johnson!

3. This coming from a Mets fan and Syndergaard owner, is Thor not the sexiest man alive? Please confirm.

Nico
Nico
Reply to  Grey
6 years ago

@Grey: Ah, missed that last sentence. Thanks and enjoy your weekend!

Mordacious Levator
Mordacious Levator
Reply to  Nico
6 years ago

@Nico: you don’t need to use the word “postive” for regression to mean what you want it to mean here. about 2 people at razzball seemingly know this. jaywrong and i forget the other one.

Scott
Scott
6 years ago

For CI, Freese or Jaso?

Shin-Soo Choo Choo
Shin-Soo Choo Choo
6 years ago

10 team roto 5×5.

Save prospecting. Drop any of Dyson, Giles or Jepsen for Dan Hudson?

Thanks in advance.

Joe Shmoe
Joe Shmoe
6 years ago

Russell Martin @ 0.130, next to no counting stats…I wasn’t expecting 20 HR again, but something would be nice…when do i consider Ramos, Salty or Yadi?

Cram It
Cram It
Reply to  Joe Shmoe
6 years ago

@Joe Shmoe: Yesterday

The Fridge
The Fridge
6 years ago

What do I do with Pedro Alvarez? Drop him for Ozuna or Taylor?

Rich
Rich
6 years ago

Do I deal Maikel Franco and Tyson Ross for Chris Sale, just Franco for Chris Archer, or hold?

web
web
6 years ago

Hill or Santiago ROS

Q
Q
6 years ago

No love at all for my Prince tribute above? Not as wordsmithy as you, but at least 3 out of 10…. Did you miss it? 4:24 AM?

Also, there is now another Q, so I might have to come up with a glyph symbol like Prince on dis bad boy

Wilsonian
Wilsonian
6 years ago

Bottom of my lineup looks like this:

OF: Domingo
UTIL: Segura
UTIL: Carter
BN: Lamb
BN: Franco (what the hell do you do with this guy, he’s awful?)

Would you dump anyone for any of the following:

Moosetacos
Rosario
Tomas
K.Davis

8 Team H2H – H, R, HR, RBI, SB, AVG, OBPS

Wywyz
Wywyz
6 years ago

trade Dozier for Archer? Or try Dickerson and Jeanmar for Archer?

Austin Millbarge
Austin Millbarge
6 years ago

5×5 AL Only. Pujols and ARod both killing my roster. Napoli, Valbuena, Hardy, Nunez available. Who do I take or none? One bench space open. Who goes to bench?

joe
joe
6 years ago

listening to the YES broadcast yesterday and one of the announcers was talking about how severino doesn’t have a breaking pitch (has slider, change) that can change eye level (e.g. tanaka split, big curve) so batters can see ball/strike out of the hand -> less k’s. however he does have electric stuff. i found that kinda interesting

rosario or c-dick?

herschel
herschel
6 years ago

@Grey: weekly roto, need to start two of the following, who do you like?

gausman (17.8) – @tb, vs cws
wood (14.9) – vs sd
colon (13.9) – vs cin
rodon (-1.8) – @bal
fiers (5.4) – @oak

also, been singing “my boss was willie mcgee” all morning. thanks for that.

SallyCips
SallyCips
6 years ago

What up, Grey.

Tomas is intriguing, and in my only league this season, I only have one bench spot and trying to get some position eligibility right now. Would you drop Gattis for him or Kike Hernandez?

Thanks, dude, hope all is well!

SallyCips
SallyCips
Reply to  Grey
6 years ago

@Grey: Nice, he’s the one I was thinking of more. Thanks, boo.

JeF WiTh 1 F
JeF WiTh 1 F
Reply to  SallyCips
6 years ago

@SallyCips: Hey hes my boo, back off bitch

web
web
6 years ago

Hill or Santiago Over Hendricks?

The Guillentine
The Guillentine
6 years ago

What’s it called when you pick up a SAGNOF for steals and he hits a homer with 3 rbi’s?

Thanks for everything Grey!!!!

Boswell
Boswell
6 years ago

Need runs, 2b,3b,avg,obp
Start deshields vs Quintana.
Or lamb vs niese

Rice
Rice
6 years ago

Really hesitant to start Archer next week (vs BAL, vs TOR) until he shows me a good game. Start Archer or one of these other guys?

Smyly vs. TOR
Rodon @ BAL

Rice
Rice
Reply to  Grey
6 years ago

@Grey: That’s what I thought. A special thanks to your “Gluttony” tier (Matz, Rodon, Walker). I got all three and it’s looking great!

Cubs08-Theo
Cubs08-Theo
6 years ago

In an OBP league, should I drop Montero for Cervelli?

Rice
Rice
Reply to  Grey
6 years ago

@Grey: Cervelli has a nice 4 game trip to Coors next week too.

Paul O'Neil
Paul O'Neil
6 years ago

Happy Friday Grey!
I’m looking for a realistic trade target for T Story. Got a weak outfield so trying to find the right tier OF. Would a struggling Cargo be too high of an ask? Is this question worth asking?! Where am I?
Thanx

JohnnyBeGood
JohnnyBeGood
6 years ago

Who you start or bench Verlander today vs Indians, in a innings max league..thanks

JohnnyBeGood
JohnnyBeGood
Reply to  Grey
6 years ago

@Grey: cool thanks, have a great weekend!

Tim Rashkin
Tim Rashkin
6 years ago

Ahhh more tasty Grey articles, me love you long time… In my 10 team H2H points league what do you think of this trade?

GIVE – Story, Osuna, Trumbo
GET – Heyward, Archer

I have Xander for SS and Rondon/Chapman for CL (with plenty of stop gaps to pickup)… my other OF is Stanton / Springer so this is OF3 spot where I’ve struggled this year.I also have Segura for 2B and backup SS if Xander gets hurt… with other 2B options out there.

Mostly enjoyed Archer this year and thinking might be good buy low. I picked up Story after draft and Osuna was a fill in till Chapman.. so it feels good initially to me… thanks you stud!!!!

Tim Rashkin
Tim Rashkin
Reply to  Tim Rashkin
6 years ago

@Tim Rashkin: I meant mostly enjoyed Archer LAST year when I had him previously :-)

Tim Rashkin
Tim Rashkin
Reply to  Grey
6 years ago

@Grey: Danke very much!

knucks
knucks
6 years ago

Gonna wake up one of these mornings in May and realize that Trevor Baur is getting Saves in CLE. Anyone with me???

knucks
knucks
Reply to  knucks
6 years ago

@knucks: Pardon, **Bauer**. But that would be quite the boom for his street cred in the rap community, I would imagine.

Chicken Dinner
Chicken Dinner
Reply to  knucks
6 years ago

@knucks: Not with his control issues.

J-Money
J-Money
6 years ago

Good Morning Grey!

6×6 OPS…K. Davis, Souza, Pagan. In that order?

Thanks!

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater
Dr. Kenneth Noisewater
6 years ago

I was all about Ian Desmond this year for that cheap SS power. I mean, when the nation is clowning you for turning down that multi-year deal, you have to prove something, right? Or he’s just terrible at baseball now and my previous sentence is pointless and wrong.

So Mobb Deep and Smif-N-Wessun performed 4 blocks from my place last night and I found out about it at 11pm. I mean, 4 measly blocks. Jacoby Ellsbury could’ve thrown a baseball and hit the venue from my place….well, maybe with five or six throws, but just you never mind that. I now know the disappointment in myself that my parents have felt all these years.

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater
Dr. Kenneth Noisewater
Reply to  Grey
6 years ago

No, apparently they are on a small tour for the 20th anniversary of “Hell on Earth”. They were at a venue that holds about 300 people, that would have been so great.

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater
Dr. Kenneth Noisewater
Reply to  Grey
6 years ago

Sad emoji

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater
Dr. Kenneth Noisewater
Reply to  Grey
6 years ago

Sorry, just had a Quiet Storm come over me that had me Shook….Ones. I tried.