Please see our player page for Melky Cabrera to see projections for today, the next 7 days and rest of season as well as stats and gamelogs designed with the fantasy baseball player in mind.

Subliminally, I nod my whenever Reynaldo Lopez is mentioned.  It’s a disease similar to Jimmy Legs; it’s called Lo-Pez Head.  Yesterday, my Lo-Pez Head nodded for all the good he was doing (6 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunenrs (3 BBs), 14 Ks, ERA at 6.03).  Lopez faced Murmurer’s Row of Detroit and sent them down, down, down, down–how many downs is that?  4 downs at three downs per down, that’s still only 12 downs and he had 14.  Damn, that’s too many Ks for even the Alt-Right Sox.  Usually Reynaldo Lopez rattles off a bag of Dick Poles.  Am I now interested?  Do I look *makes nutter rolly finger motion on side of head*?  He was once a big-time prospect with a mid-90s MPH fastball that can hit straight-boing type levels.  I see his current 11.2 K/9 and get weak in the knees, can barely speak, but his 4.9 BB/9 is his usual Pitfall Harry and his 5.47 xFIP doesn’t scream confidence like a man with 100-point font.  I’d continue to view him as a streamer for now.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend for fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

At one point in Sunday’s draft, Andy Behrens said to me, “I can’t believe you went to $3 on Peter O’Brien.  That’s not on brand for you.”  You know what; he’s right.  Shame on me for briefly going off brand. Even if it was for a millisecond between bids $2 and $3 on the 35-year-old rookie, Peter O’Brien, who has more holes in his swing than Swiss cheese at a shooting range.  Maybe the, um, spirit of drafting on St. Patty’s Day overcame me.  Maybe I was hoping O’Brien could make me some hurricanes while I waded in my kiddie pool this summer.  It’s Andy Behrens’s brand to draft terrible players.  That’s not my brand.  I realized that soon enough, Dear Reader.  Andy went to $4 and I let him have O’Brien.  I suppose if things break right, O’Brien will retire at some point this summer and look kindly on Behrens for drafting him, then offer his services as a babysitter.  I don’t need a babysitter; my wife is like a decade older than me!  Okay, I’m about to drop on you one of the sexiest NL-Only teams. You might want to place an extra-wide condom over your head, before I impregnate your eyes.  Anyway, here’s my Tout Wars 12-team, NL-Only draft recap:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

What an absolute trip this offseason has been, huh?  Emphasis on ‘has been,’ and hyphenated.  And trip as in “catch one’s foot on something and stumble or fall or other Macy Gray lyrics.”  And ‘trip’ might actually be a misspelling of ‘drip.’  To recap, what an absolute drip this offseason has-been, huh?  Players have already reported and Manny Machado is only now signing and Bryce Harper still hasn’t, said the man who likes to point out the obvious.  Obvious Man continued, “I need oxygen to breathe.”  Shut up, Obvious Man!  Yesterday, the Padres signed Manny Machado to a 10-year, $300 million contract.  We should’ve seen this coming all along.  After all, San Diego is the world’s most languid city.  Also, remember all those people saying Machado would sign with the White Sox, due to Yonder Alonso signing there and being his brother-in-law?  I mean, a guy doesn’t want to be with his in-laws? No kidding!

Now Machado will be in the cozy position of hitting between Ian Kinsler and Eric Hosmer.  Does he just prefer to hit in garbage lineups?  Was Balty-more (how I say it) not bad enough for him?  What an absolute shizzshow this 1st round has become.  In the top 10 for 2019 fantasy baseball, I’ve moved Machado down to another tier as the 2nd tier in the top 10 becomes increasingly barren.  “Acuña or Trea Turner or die,” as my bumper sticker I’m manufacturing says.  Petco isn’t the ‘terrible’ park everyone has made it out to be in past years, i.e. Petco isn’t for the birds and is not a dog of a park or–Fill in your own damn animal pun!  It’s still makes me shudder hard at thinking of hitting in front of Hosmer, but, as previously mentioned on the aforementioned tip, hitting in the Orioles’ lineup wasn’t amazing either and Machado did fine for many years.  I did lower his projections in the top 10, and I’m now way more tentative on him.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw for fantasy baseball this offseason:

PSYCH!  Before getting into the post, we have an announcement:

Razzball Introduces An Ad-Free Option

I know, I know, I know, but you love seeing ads for “Kate Hudson Beauty Secrets” that then lead you to a free Amazon gift card which is actually an Eastern European man living in Nigeria who managed to clone your DNA from your IP address and just slept with your wife using the Amazon Gift Card Clone, who goes by the name, Tommy.  I love those ads too!  They are terrific!  However, and this is going to come as a shock to some of you, there’s people who don’t appreciate the IP clone illegal download software ads that sleep with your wife.  I know, shocker!  For those people, Razzball is introducing an ad-free option.  As Rudy tells me, direct people to the Tools Subscription page and they can figure it out from there.  I have my doubts, but what better way to prove me wrong?  The ad-free subscription runs for 250 days — a Jewish calendar year! — and is only for one sport.  There is now a Log In in the top menu for people too, so if you’re a subscriber, there’s no more need to email Rudy or I asking, “Hey, I bought the subscriptions and I can’t figure out where to log in?  Is it at the log in page?”  Wait until we introduce the “Grey comes to your house and just operates your computer for you” option.  Anyway, here’s the roundup:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Don Mattingly and Ken Griffey Jr. sit in the airport, waiting for their flight out to Toronto, trying to make small talk, “How has post-Hall of Fame life been?”  “Good, good, how has post, uh, mustache life been?”  “Fine, yeah, fine.”  Finally, a Cooperstown employee approaches, “Where do you want Dale Long’s sarcophagus?”  “Are you not staying with it?”  “I was just told to deliver it.  Now, if Kendrys Morales breaks the home run record, you press this button on the side of the sarcophagus.”  Ken and Don look at each other and decide to try the button.  Dale’s sarcophagus opens and what resembles a crypt keeper says, “Wow, I can’t believe he broke our record.  That’s outta sight!”  And Dale’s mummified eyes spin like a slot machine.  This is reenactment of what Mattingly and Griffey are going through as they join Kendrys for the chase of their home runs in eight straight games record.  Yesterday, Morales homered in his 7th straight game, going 1-for-3, 2 RBIs, and that was his 21st homer.  I actually just picked up Kendrys Morales in my RCL league, after I picked up my jaw from surprise that he was still available.  He’s so smooth right now, they call him Kendrys Alba.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

As the fantasy baseball year dwindles down, the article this week is going to help to pinpoint the hot streaks you should ride out for the rest of the season. Starting with Greg Allen (FAAB: 2-3%) of the Cleveland Indians who provides speed to desperate squads. Since his recall, Allen has 7 stolen bases, and a homer, with a plus batting average. One of the most significant differences for Allen is an improved contact rate on his small sample from last season’s debut. He is currently at 90% Z-Contact and 82.4% Overall Contact compared to 84.8% Z-Contact and 75.7% Overall Contact in 2017. Riding this hot streak will provide a bit of everything necessary to stay ahead in speed, average, and power categories. Plus, Allen has capabilities to supply multiple SB and HR during the week for head-to-head leagues and playoff situations.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

A premature grey-haired man and a prematurely balding man sit on a Brooklyn stoop, chatting about the old days.  “I can remember when Ossie Davis sat on this very stoop in Do The Right Thing.”  “It was a simpler time before gentrification.  Now the millennials are killing the bees, mayonnaise and plastic straws.”  Sipping his drink, “My kombucha tastes like paper…stupid biodegradable straw!”  “We were millennials as late as June, what happened to us?”  “We grew old waiting for Vladimir Guerrero Jr.!”  “Stupid millennials and their Super Twos!”  So, as mentioned last week in my Eloy Jimenez fantasy, I’m back here for the other guy who could be called up this week.  Will he?  Unless you’re talking to my groin, and mispronouncing Willie, I haven’t a clue.  I’m not saying Vlad Jr. necessarily will be called up, I’m just saying you stash him for right now.  See what happens when rosters expand in a few days, and, if he’s not called up, you drop him again.  No harm, no foul in holding a guy for a week who could do what Vladimir Guerrero Jr. does.  For more, search the damn site!  We’ve been talking about him for so long we’ve grown old!  Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

On July 31st, there was a great disturbance in the force, as Tommy Pham was traded from the Cardinals to the Rays. The black hole was subsequently filled by an innocent-looking 24-year-old with 315 major league plate appearances, Harrison Bader (43.4% owned – increase of 29%). Then it started happening. Each pitch thrown was met with anger. Each cleat dug further into the dirt until the shoe twisted, then churned the ground, causing a volcano-like explosion hurling a 190-pound mass of anger down the base path. The innocent-looking 24-year-old was no more. The hate. The anger. It all manifested to unveil….Darth Bader. He of the 46.8% hard hit rate. He of the .242 ISO and .576 SLG. If I compare the numbers from the month of August to the rest of the season (74 PA vs 223 PA), the swinging strike rate is down 2%, the chase rate is down 4%, contact rate is up 5%, hard hit rate is up 14%, and ground ball rate is down 10%! Could be a case of the small sample size, but it could also be that he’s playing regularly now. Regardless, there’s going to be some regression, as a .432 BABIP is unsustainable. With that said, the power/speed combo is too enticing and we all know that the force is strong in St. Louis. TREASURE

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Sometimes it’s better to be lucky than good. Or maybe I mean it’s better to be desperate than good. Either way, when you don’t have a lot of choices to make, sometimes what seems like a bad decision actually works out. In the RCL-style leagues, where daily changes are allowed and there is always a plethora of legit options to choose from on the waiver wire, you’re never going to have a guy like Mark Reynolds in your lineup when he does something like collect 10 RBI in one game, as he did back in July.  But you might have had him active in a deep NL-only league, even though you would have never chosen to if you’d had just about any other option. I drafted Kevin Plawecki this year in 12-team NL-only, 2-catcher league, and here we are more than halfway through August, and he still sits in my active lineup. I’m sure that sounds rather pitiful to anyone in a “normal” fantasy league, but there is nothing that even remotely resembles a productive major league catcher available in the free agent pool. Turns out that’s just as well, since if there was, I would have missed out on a couple of big games from Plawecki last week: 5 hits, 5 runs scored, and 7 RBI in two games is some pretty sweet fantasy production in any fantasy league, from any position. So if you are in a deep league where you’re playing bottom of the barrel-type guys because you have no other options, maybe it’ll work out in your favor every once in a while, and you’ll get an unexpected gift of some much-needed fantasy production from the unlikeliest of sources.

For now, we move on to do what we like do here each and every week: take a look at some names of players who may be of interest to those in NL-only, AL-only, and other deep leagues.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Daniel Murphy traded to the Cubs, after being claimed on waivers.  I’m going to try to wrap my noodle around this one.  My above-the-line noodle.  That’s above-the-line as in waist, not above-the-line as it’s meant in Hollywood.  An above-the-line noodle in Hollywood parlance would mean below-the-line as in waist.  Okay, off track!  *steps in cardboard box designed to look like a car, yells at homeless man ‘driving’ the cardboard box*  Let’s get back on track or I’m going to give you a bad Uber rating!  For Daniel Murphy to get claimed by the Cubs, it means every NL team passed on him.  I realize he can’t pitch, but really, Brewers?  You got screwed on the Archer move, but you can’t use hitting, Pirates?  You didn’t want another reason to prospblock Jo-Ma, Cardinals?  Yo, Phillies, your team batting average is .236; hey, Colorado, you passed on a veteran?  Are you feeling okay?  So, Murphy joins the Cubs, where he should bat third and play 2nd base.  That knocks Javier Baez to 3rd; Ian Happ to a platoon in center with Al-Al, Maddon’s Bae Zobrist becomes a utility man, David Bote dons a GOAT costume once a week as a pinch-hitter, but not a goat costume as in the animal, Kris Bryant learns how to play 1st, Rizzo catches, Schwarber pitches and–so the Cubs are obviously stacked.  This should help Murphy’s fantasy value.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Psyche!  Before we get into the roundup, just wanted to say our Fantasy Football Subscriptions are now live.  Last year, Rudy placed top 5 out of something, like, 15,500 ‘perts who do fantasy football projections.  Maybe it’s closer to 200 ‘perts, but you get the picture.  Plus, it helps the site.  Anyway II, the roundup:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

The Braves called up Bryse Wilson, their third starter who is under 21 years old (Soroka, Allard) and 4th player (Acuña).  Mean’s while, Vladimir Guerrero Jr. just collected his 3,000th minor league hit.  By the time Vlad Jr. is called up, he will be Vlad Sr.’s brother.  Didja you know in Latin America junior is a term of endearment like when you call that old lady in your family ‘aunt’ even though she’s unrelated?  That’s why so many Jr.’s get to their 2nd year of pro ball and drop the junior.  Right, Raul Mondesi Jr.?  Any hoo!  The Braves called up yet another gorgeous, young prospect.  “That’s what I love about these Braves starters, man. I keep getting older, they stay the same age.” — Matthew McConaughey seeing Bryse Wilson.  Prospector Ralph just gave you his Bryse Wilson fantasy.  He’s also in his top 500 fantasy baseball prospects.  Previously, he said, “A 4th rounder in 2016, Bryse Wilson rode his plus sinking fastball to one of the bigger breakouts of 2017.  His four-seamer sits 92-95 with sink, and commands it extremely well.  His secondaries are far more raw with a power 12-6 curve, and a fringe changeup.  Speaking of Wilson, I’d like to spike Grey like a volleyball.”  Okay, not cool!  Yesterday, Wilson went 5 IP, 0 ER, 6 baserunners, 5 Ks, as the Braves bumped everyone in their rotation back a day.  The big thing that struck me about Bryse is he looks like he’s been doing it for years (which could be said of the other young Braves players).  About to call him Poyse Wilson.  Seems weird to call him up to just send him back to the minors, so gotta expect him to stay up.  In shallower redrafts, I’d view Wilson as a streamer, but I did grab him in two mixed league redrafts.  He’s obviously a decent keeper in deep leagues (10.8 K/9, 0.9 BB/9 in only 20 Triple-A innings), especially now that’s he’s up with rest of the Braves’ Poyse of Summer.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?