Please see our player page for Jake Arrieta to see projections for today, the next 7 days and rest of season as well as stats and gamelogs designed with the fantasy baseball player in mind.

Deep in the depths of the Razzball fantasy baseball archives, there exists a Dolly Parton-esque song performed by Grey called “Hamstrings Pull Heartstrings”. It is not as soulful as the only video on the Razzball TikTok channel. However, it is a close second because hamstring strains are a very unfortunate but hot trend in the MLB.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Marlins first-year phenom Jesus Sanchez continued to work miracles this week as he went 2-for-3 Friday night with two runs scored and his seventh home run, a 3-run blast, his third hit to the heavens in the past week! Hashtag blessed. Speaking of miracles, I had a bit of a holy experience this week when I witnessed a Razzball cameo on SportsCenter Monday night. I immediately pinged Grey to inform him that we had, in fact, “made it,” and that he should expect the cash to start rolling in any day now. That’s right all, none other than ESPN’s own Wonder Boy, Jeff Passan, name-dropped Razzball in a segment, likely referencing this tweet and how hilarious RBs commentary on the whole Mets Boo-az situation was. How do I react to the news that not only is Jeff Passan an avid fantasy baseballer (which also presents some interesting collusion questions?), but he has very likely (not-at-all-likely) read my posts and is scouting me to be his next intern? Well, I’m not going to let the fame go to my head yet, but I did buy Kanye’s $4000 red Donda jacket with the check I assume is in the mail. If you’re reading Mr. Passan, ignore all the past jabs at ESPN, you are clearly the smartest analyst there (besides Woj, of course). But back to Sanchez! The rookie outfielder is batting .357 in the past week with the aforementioned three jacks and eight ribbies. Grey told you to BUY! The power is real and if he can cut down on the Ks he might find his way into a 2022 sleeper post. You hear that, Jeff? Be on the lookout for some 2022 gems and keep the shout-outs coming! Sanchez struggled mightily after returning from the COVID list in August, but it appears over the past few days he’s finally getting his timing down. He could be worth a hail-mary hope and a prayer add that the power binge continues and Jesus could save your fantasy season.

Here’s what else I saw Friday night in fantasy baseball:

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“The 1994 classic, Blank Check, is possibly the best film ever, better than those Godfather films. Did you know they aren’t even about the perils of being a Godfather? Like what gift do I give my godson for his fifth birthday? Or what happens when my god daughter’s mother is hitting on me? Anyway, Blank Check is a ten out of ten, better than Dunston Checks In. The only drawback I can see is I thought Blank Check was initially about what the Braves will be offering Freddie Freeman this offseason.” Sorry! I was just typing up my IMDB Blank Check review. Yesterday, Freddie Freeman acquired his 2nd career cycle, going 4-for-5, 4 runs, 2 RBIs and his 27th homer, as he hits .301. His Ks, walks, BABIP, HardHit%, HR/FB% and spread of balls to his pull side vs. opposite way are all in line with previous–Okay, is he a robot? Thought we were starting to see the beginning of the end when he was struggling with his average in the early months, but that was fraught for naught. I’m sure we’ll see more cycles in the future for Freeman if he ever gets that Braves’ blank check. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

My brain whenever I see Brandon Lowe: “It’s Low, right? No, you idiot, it’s like Lau! LAU! LAU! Say LAU! Which is pronounced like Low, right? NO! It rhymes with chow! It’s Lau!” Then, I compose myself and pronounce it as “Low.” Literally, without fail. I hope you do this too, so I’m not alone. It would make me feel better. Thank you. Yesterday, Lowe–Lau! But spelled Lowe!–went double ding dong, as he led-off (3-for-4, 3 RBIs) with his 27th and 28th homer. Also, in the Hooters-adjacent Tampa Bay-adjacent St. Pete’s Basilica, Kevin Kiermaier (1-for-4) hit his 4th homer; Brett Phillips (2-for-4) boogied his way to his 10th homer and Mike Brosseau (1-for-4) hit his 5th homer. Now I see why Brosseau, “Whoa.” Lowe, though (doesn’t rhyme), is repeating his HR/FB% from last year’s breakout, along with FB%, and HardHit%, but not really his strikeouts. He’s way more aggressive at the plate (O-Swing% and Swing% up), and unfortunately for him, he’s making more contact on junk pitches. Wish the average was higher for Lowe (that’s not a pun, it’s Lau not Low), but he’s established himself as a 32-homer guy with upside for 2022. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Burps for five minutes, then sloppily places a lei on a waitress. Unable to resist the primal urges of being drunk and a man, he leans in to kiss the waitress, but, before landing the smackeroo, two bouncers drag him out of the tropical-theme bar and grill. As he’s dragged by the elbows, he screams, “Your burgers at Islands suck!” A very somber Eric McCormack enters, and we see it’s a PSA. Eric addresses the camera, “This is what happens when you have too Manny Pina’s.” Yesterday, Manny Pina went 3-for-6, 3 runs, 6 RBIs and his 8th and 9th homer. I’m really starting to come around on the idea presented by a commenter that said instead of drafting a catcher, you draft a team and get that team’s catchers. Like drafting a defense in fantasy football. Also, in this game, that was Kyle Hendricks’s worst nightmare (4 IP, 9 ER,, ERA at 4.15), Jace Peterson (5-for-5, 3 runs, 4 RBIs) came a triple short of the cycle. Hendricks’s previous worst nightmare was getting caught in an elevator with a hungry Daniel Vogelbach. That’s every player’s worst nightmare. Moving on! The other big star yesterday was Luis Urias (5-for-6, 5 runs, 5 RBIs) hit his 15th and 16th homer, and I just added him to the Buy column coming later today. Pretty goofy that he’s only rostered in 30% of leagues. On the Player Rater, Christian Yelich is over two hundred spots lower in value than Luis Urias. Take me to the top of a 100-foot wave in Nazaré, Portugal and throw me into a barrel. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

The Trade Deadline Spectacular! Lot’s to unpack here, where do I begin? First, the Chicago Cubs continued to clean house Friday night sending their remaining superstars to opposite coasts. Kris Bryant is headed to San Francisco in exchange for Alexander Canario and Caleb Killian, and Javier Baez was sent to Queens to play shortstop for the Mets. The Mets will send outfielder Pete Crow-Armstrong back to Chicago. Look, I’m not going to pretend to know who any of these prospects are, I will leave it to The Itch’s Top 100 Prospects for 2021 Fantasy Baseball to tell you which of these kids are worthy of your 2021 consideration, but I will confirm that Pete Crow-Armstrong is an awesome name, so he must be very good. Anyway, Bryant should gel nicely with this Giants team and they get a “true star” to keep up with the big boys in the NL West. Javier Baez will keep doing the Javier Baez thing he does, now in NYC City, and it should be fun to watch a Javy/Lindo infield combo when Lindor returns in a few weeks. Meanwhile down South, the Braves were so distraught about Acuña (same, Braves, same), they traded for an entirely new outfield. Retail therapy! I get it! Altana acquired Eddie Rosario, Jorge Soler and Adam Duvall all from different teams, all within about an hour of each other, and all of whom are basically the same player. But for real though, how insane was this deadline? Quality and quantity. Twitter Friday afternoon was probably more exciting than most of the MLB games I’ve watched this season. Blockbuster deals! Twists and turns! 10 all-stars traded! Headlines that would make Suni Lee say, “oh, wow that’s a pretty intriguing story.” And she’s not even talking about Trevor Story! For me, it was an exciting, drama-filled 48 hours in sports and I’d love to go on about how fun it is to watch athletes displaced from their homes but there is too much to cover today so will get right to it.

Here’s what else happened in fantasy baseball Friday night:

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Shohei Ohtani (2-for-4, 2 runs) hit his 32nd homer, passing Hideki Matsui as the top Japanese-born home run hitter in a season, and it’s not even the All-Star Break! Such a cheat code, and I’m such a giant dummy to not have him on any team. Boy, I Mr. Bungled this one so bad it’s hard for me to see through my tears of anguish. The absolute ball dropping I did by not grabbing him. Or Jared Walsh (2-for-4, 3 RBIs) who hit his 21st and 22nd homer! I wrote a gee-dee sleeper post for him! Yet, all my fantasy teams are like a milk carton with that missing Walsh kid. This is brutally difficult for me. I should’ve known better for Ohtani, and I did know better for Walsh! Someone shoot me into the sky, where I can do something for humanity by flipping off Bezos’s orbiting rocket ship, and away from the misery of watching Ohtani and Walsh carry fantasy teams to the proverbial promised land. I was promised that land! I have my deed right here…*searches pockets for deed, pull back to reveal I’m wearing pants with millions of pockets* This is my nightmare! We’re in it! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

No player in MLB history has more cycles than Trea Turner. That’s wild. What’s also wild, it was his birthday yesterday. I got a cycle for my birthday one year. It was a pink Hutch Trickstar and I was able to do one trick, falling over. They used to call me The Pink Trickstar. And beat me up. This Treat Urner game brought up a lot of hurtful memories. My mom always wanted a girl, is that why she got me that stupid pink bike? Which is what I write down in my journal, so I can ask my shrink at a later date. Not only did Treat Urner (4-for-4, 4 runs) hit his 14th homer, he also added in his 17th and 18th steal. He accumulated more fantasy value in one game than Juan Soto has all year. I wanna be run over by a pink bicycle. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

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Heerrre’s Luis! Mariners catcher slash DH Luis Torrens continued his power binge as he went 2-for-5 with two home runs and four runs batted in Friday night to carry the Ms to an impressive 9-3 win over the White Sox in Chicago. Catcher lovers, this is your lucky day, as Luis could be the next big thing in catcher adds in the mold of Yermin Mercedes and Eric Hasse, ie, he could be the hottest hitter around for a week or two before ultimately falling off harder than the Hawks in Game two. Torrens has tormented opposing pitchers this month with five homers in his past seven games and he’s batting an impressive .375 during that stretch. Grey told you to BUY and he said “If you have Tom Murphy and he’s losing playing time, blame it on Torrens, which coincidentally is also the fantasy team name of Fab Morvan, the last living member of Milli Vanilli.” My thoughts exactly! If you asked Luis, he’d tell you he couldn’t throw a proper hit party without his right hand bash bros, the Two Jakes, Jake Fraley (1-for-3, 2-run HR) and Jake Bauers (2-for-4, RBI). Because someone needs to hold up Torrens while he kegs stands, he’s a big dude! Both Jakes have been steady contributors over the past two weeks and could be worth a look if you’re as desperate for outfielders as I am for positive feedback. Bauers is hitting .320 over the 15 days and Fraley has done a little of everything. Last but certainly not least, Dylan Moore (2-for-4, 2 runs, 2 SB (12)) can steal bases and hearts with the best of the best if he can remain healthy in the line up for more than a week which is a big ol’ bolded, 72-point font IF. Has Luis Torrens arrival sparked the Ms offense?! Probably not but a guy can dream–remember last time I highlighted a Mariner the team crashed a burn for about a week following, so I am treading carefully. Regardless, the C-Attle offense looked scarier than Shelley Duvall’s O-Face Friday night and Torrens and Co. could be worth a look while they’re hitting all the baseballs. Ms about to go on a streak! Please don’t quote me on that.

Here’s what else I saw in fantasy baseball Friday night:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I have never had a more difficult time finding two-start streamers than I had this week. That’s actually why we’re going to start with the one-start guys because those are obviously the more reliable options. I’d go as far as to say that I wouldn’t even use these two-start streamers unless you’re desperate or if you’re in a deep league. That’s just the nature of the beast, though, and it should leave us with some more extensive weeks down the line. With all that said, I do love these one-start streamers, so let’s get into it!

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Freshly promoted Mariners rookie outfielder slash phenom slash heart throb slash Seattle savior slash pride of Pike’s Place, Jarred Kelenic put on a clinic in just his second game in the majors with three hits in four at-bats, scoring two runs and his first big league home run, a 2-run shot to right in the third inning that put the Ms up 3-0. After a disappointing debut on Thursday where he went 0-for-4 without reaching base, the dinger was Kelly’s (can I call him Kelly?) first major league hit, but he wasn’t done showing off his skillz with a “z” yet. We got to witness that highly touted speed of his, as he hustled out two doubles and added an additional RBI out of that C-Attle lead off spot. Mmhm. The super prospect is likely owned everywhere at this point and for good reason, I imagine what follows is some hilarious worst-to-first Major League type scenario where Jarred carries the Mariners back to relevance. Please let it be so. This isn’t entirely out of the realm of possibility, Kyle Seager and Mitch Haniger also homered Friday night and raised eyebrow emoji face…do all of a sudden the Ms have an offense? If Kelenic is going to hit like this, and going to hit lead off, it kickstarts this offense in a huge way and just his presence could make a lot some of these players more valuable. I’m looking at you, Dylan Moore (2-for-4, run, 7th steal). Wishful thinking, perhaps? Still Kelenic’s big night Friday was exciting to see, and a glimpse of hope for a fanbase that hasn’t seen their team in the post season in almost 20 years. Is he going to hit three extra base hits every night? Maybe add some steals tomorrow? Close out games? Strike out sides? No-hit the Tigers? Call balls and strikes? Probably! Either way, you’ve got to be hype to see what’s next for Jarred Kelenic. This kid’s gonna be a star! Ha-cha-cha!

Here’s what else I saw Friday night in fantasy baseball:

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With a two singles and a double, the White Sox big hitting star yesterday was Dylan Cease. Saying after the game, “With Lou Bob going down like a deflated beanbag — No offense, Mitch Haniger — it’s important we all step up like an 80’s aerobics teacher,” then he began to count off exercise moves, “5, 6, 7, 8, schlemiel, schlimazel, let’s see you burn, boys!” Then he did some step aerobics out of the room. Obviously, he’s being modest, and way more anaerobic. It wasn’t just his hitting people were doing the swoon for — 6 IP, 0 ER, 1 hit, 3 walks, 11 Ks, ERA at 2.37, and now his last 13 innings have been shutout with 20 Ks. That makes me want to sing (Keep Feeling) Fascination by The Human League. We’re all in that. The Human League. I’m saying that’s all of us. I will rock your world though if you say anything bad about boba. Cease looks to be going to his 96 MPH 4-seam fastball more than ever in his career, paired with an 86 MPH slider that has a .174 xBA, which is just goofy for a pitch he’s throwing 30% of the time. Don’t want to be caught with my shorts around my ankles because I’m wearing a banana hammock, but Cease looks to be emerging as an ace. Not a fantasy number two or three, but a number one. I don’t say that lightly, though I am writing this with a feather and 100 monkeys are typing it up later–Let’s go, Ling-Ling! Type faster! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?