Freshly promoted Mariners rookie outfielder slash phenom slash heart throb slash Seattle savior slash pride of Pike’s Place, Jarred Kelenic put on a clinic in just his second game in the majors with three hits in four at-bats, scoring two runs and his first big league home run, a 2-run shot to right in the third inning that put the Ms up 3-0. After a disappointing debut on Thursday where he went 0-for-4 without reaching base, the dinger was Kelly’s (can I call him Kelly?) first major league hit, but he wasn’t done showing off his skillz with a “z” yet. We got to witness that highly touted speed of his, as he hustled out two doubles and added an additional RBI out of that C-Attle lead off spot. Mmhm. The super prospect is likely owned everywhere at this point and for good reason, I imagine what follows is some hilarious worst-to-first Major League type scenario where Jarred carries the Mariners back to relevance. Please let it be so. This isn’t entirely out of the realm of possibility, Kyle Seager and Mitch Haniger also homered Friday night and raised eyebrow emoji face…do all of a sudden the Ms have an offense? If Kelenic is going to hit like this, and going to hit lead off, it kickstarts this offense in a huge way and just his presence could make a lot some of these players more valuable. I’m looking at you, Dylan Moore (2-for-4, run, 7th steal). Wishful thinking, perhaps? Still Kelenic’s big night Friday was exciting to see, and a glimpse of hope for a fanbase that hasn’t seen their team in the post season in almost 20 years. Is he going to hit three extra base hits every night? Maybe add some steals tomorrow? Close out games? Strike out sides? No-hit the Tigers? Call balls and strikes? Probably! Either way, you’ve got to be hype to see what’s next for Jarred Kelenic. This kid’s gonna be a star! Ha-cha-cha!
Here’s what else I saw Friday night in fantasy baseball:
Josh Naylor – 3-for-4, HR (3), 2 RBI. Naylor!? I hardly know her! Josh was a BUY and is batting close to .400 over the past week. He’s got some speed and pop and Terri Francona as his manager, which are all good things for a young player to have. He’s no Jarred Kelenic but you could do worse.
Aaron Civale – 6.2 IP, 7 hits, 5 ER, BB, 6 K. If this is the worst case scenario for this pitcher I’m okay owning him. You can give up five runs as long as you go six innings, deal?
Kevin Gausman – 8.0 IP, 5 hits, ER, 12 K. The 12 Ks was a career high! Man, Gausman starting to look like the steal of the draft. He lowered his ERA to 1.84 to go with a 0.84 WHIP and was a tough luck loser when Jake McGee allowed his inherited runner to score. Still it’s hard to put a value on how good the Gaus has made me look for drafting him as my Ace.
Miguel Yajure – 5.0 IP, 1 hit, 0 ER, BB, 4 K. The only hit surrendered was to the recently mentioned Gausman, that’s right, only the pitcher could touch Yajure. I’m trying not to get into the business of recommending Pirates starters but Yajure’s 3.86 ERA and 0.86 WHIP makes me think he could be a decent streamer in the right match ups. Next week in Atlanta, however, is not the right match up.
Jake McGee – 1.0 IP, 1 hit, 3 K, BS (2). Gave up Gausman’s inherited runner in the 9th to blow his second save of the year. Tyler Rogers came in the 10th and pitched a perfect inning striking out the side. Rogers appears to be the better pitcher but McGee keeps getting the save opps and I don’t see that changing until Jake strings together a few more of these BSs. McGee gets the chances because he’s got the “closer experience” which Rogers will never get as long as McGee is getting the opportunities. It’s like applying for an entry level position that requires years of experience.
Brandon Crawford – 1-for-4, 2 runs, HR (8). BUY. Eight homers! Are you serious? How even? Four dingers in the past 10 days. We knew all these wily SF vets were due but we didn’t know they’d all bounce back at the same time.
Adam Frazier – 4-for-5, 2 runs, RBI. Someone has to score runs for this team, and it sure as heck ain’t gonna be Wilmer Difo–he’s filming the new Spiderman right now I think. Frazier’s hitting .430 over the past week with a homer and a steal. That could help your fantasy team!
Martin Maldonado – 2-for-3, HR (2), 3 RBI. Just take a look at Martin’s season stats if you’re ever feeling down about who your starting catcher is.
Zack Greinke – 7.0 IP, 7 hits, 3 ER, BB, 5 K, 3rd win. I was salivating like Tom Brady’s dad over this match up but the Greinkester let me down a bit. I guess a win is a win, and its sure a lot better than his string of 4-inning starts that led up to this outing. He gets a friendly start in Oakland next time out.
Adolis Garcia – 2-for-3, HR (10). I sneeze at this Tejas line up a bit but Adolis is a revelation. Dude is hitting .430 with three dingers and two steals in the past week. Can he maintain this pace? Idk! He makes Joey Gallo look like Joey Votto. He makes Nick Lowe look like Nate Lowe. I don’t really know what those comps mean, but the kid is a bonafide star! Ha-cha-cha!
Frankie Montas – 6.0 IP, 4 hits, ER, BB, 4 K, 5th win. Frankie says…relax to all his owners who probably can’t relax because they own the roller coaster ride that is Frankie Montas. He gets Houston next week so it’s not getting any easier.
Matt Shoemaker – 6.0 IP, 5 hits, 5 ER, 2 BB, 4 K. He’s got two quality starts of seven, both against Detroit, and one OK start against Pittsburgh. The rest have been, “Oh, no I can’t watch” kinds of starts and if you’re seeing a pattern it’s that you should not own Matt Shoemaker.
Ramon Laureano – 1-for-5, HR (8). Stephen Piscotty, Mark Canha, and Sean Murphy also homered. Outside of the .239 batting average, Ramon has eight homers and eight steals which is basically a prototype for the kind of players I try to draft every year. And before you ask that follow-up question, although I don’t own Laureano anywhere this year, I would very much have liked to.
Michael Kopech – 4.0 IP, 2 hits, 2 BB, 5 K. I can’t believe I’m still holding Kopech this long for starts like this. Still that 1.71 ERA and 40/10 K/BB makes my eyes all misty eyed like a Disney princess that’s just met her Prince Charming. How is Dallas Keuchel still a thing when Michael Kopech throwing cheese like this. Fix this, La Russa!
Andrew Vaughn – 2-for-6, HR (2), 3 RBI in DH. BUY. Mmhm. I love me some Andrew Vaughn. Luckily the Miyagi-do school of karate has taught me patience and I sat on Vaughn for a month while he did nothing only to be rewarded with two jacks in the past week. It’s really happening you guys. If the Cobra Kai dojo has taught me anything it’s that you shouldn’t be a nerd, and chicks dig long balls. Also, when did Peyton List get to be such a babe? It’s cause she’s a mean girl, isn’t it?
Lucas Giolito – 6.0 IP, 5 hits, 5 ER, 3 BB, 7 K. Giolit-noooooo! For real tho, wtf happened to you man. We used to be cool.
Steven Matz – 5.0 IP, 4 hits, 0 ER, 3 BB, 9 K. In the past, Matz was always one of my go-to streamers, mostly because he pitched in pitcher friendly Metco, and because he was always available because he wasn’t very good. Now that he’s a big time famous Canadian superstar I can no longer get a piece, and his 46/13 K/BB makes me long for the days of 4.2 inning starts from Steven. With his ERA sitting at 4.29 and him set to match up with some of the AL East powerhouses, it’s probably for the best.
Vince Velasquez – 5.2 IP, 3 hits, ER, 3 BB, 7 K. Oooo-weee! Do I love me some Vinny Velasquez. Gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to ever see him start again, but lo and behold the Phillies still don’t know what they’re doing. As for Vincent, he gets the Marlins next, and you are playing with fire whenever you throw him out there, but if you ask me–that’s half the fun!
Vladimir Guerrero, Jr. – 1-for-3, HR (9). Raise your hand if you knew he had nine homers. If you’re on Zoom could you just give a thumbs up? Or maybe just have your dog start barking loudly. Just make sure you don’t mute yourself, but if you must, make sure you fumble on your keyboard first and whisper softly “where is mute…where is mute…” Vlady is having what seems like the quietest MVP type season but maybe that’s just because the Jays are stuck in Florida out of the spotlight.
Tyler Glasnow – 8.0 IP, 5 hits, BB, 10 K, ERA at 2.35. If I had just drafted just Tylers for my pitching staff I feel like I’d be in OK shape. What do you mean you wouldn’t own Tyler Anderson?? Once Tyler Clippard returns we’ll be in really good shape!
David Peterson – 7.1 IP, 4 hits, 2 ER, 2 BB, 9 K. After a rocky outing last time outlasting just 1.2 innings, DP rebounded in a big way with the 7 inning 9 K outing. Yes, more please. He seems like he’s good every other start. His ERA encroaching 5 scares me but that 41/13 K/BB makes me think, “ehh, maybeee?” He gets the Braves next week which I think I want no part of, but if he gets rocked by the Braves I’m all in on his next start.
Drew Smyly – 6.0 IP, 4 hits, ER, BB, 4 K, 2nd win. That’s back-to-back quality starts for the Emoticon. Cool cat face emoji looking swag and confident.
Jake Arrieta – 6.0 IP, 4 hits, 2 ER, BB, K, 4th win. 4.10 ERA and 1.23 WHIP. I like Arrieta okay, but imagine how bad his stats would be if the MLB offenses weren’t a big pile of garbage so far this year and he didn’t play the Pirates every other week.
Craig Kimbrel – 1.0 IP, 3 K, SV (7). 0.60 ERA and 0.80 WHIP. And that, folks, is what we call a Kimbrel. Aptly named, but boy it feels like it’s been a while.
Kris Bryant – 1-for-3, 2 runs, HR (10), 2 RBI. THE POWER OF KRIS COMPELS ME! THE POWER OF KRIS COMPELS ME! Oh boy, some dumb team is going to overpay Bryant an awful lot of money this offseason.
Shohei Ohtani – 2-for-4, HR (11). Say it with me, Jerry! SHO-HEI. OH-TANI. SHO-HEEEEI! OHHHH-TAAANI! Shohei leads the league in extra base hits and leads the Red Sox as well, as Ohtani’s 23 extra base hits tops only Devers, Bogaerts, and Martinez who are next on the list. I have got to hand it to Joe Maddon, he really is a special manager. To have two of the best and most exciting players in baseball and possibly history in your line up, both in the midst of career years and to still be in last place in a mediocre division–that is impressive. The heckin’ Rangers and Mariners have more wins. Honestly, I don’t know how he’s doing it. The Pirates could win more games with Shohei.
Hunter Renfroe – 2-for-3, HR (5), 2 RBI. He is a hot little potato right now and four of his five jacks have come in May. I could never own another Red Sox player who wears number 10. I find it disrespectful to the talent who wore that jersey before him, but that doesn’t mean you can’t add him.
Bobby Dalbec – 1-for-2, HR (4), SB (1). Bobby Bombs! In Boston, your slam and legs is served in a pot of bubbling hot clam chowdah with a pint of Sam Adams new spiked seltzer which tastes like fahkin’ gahbage.
Nick Pivetta – 6.0 IP, 4 hits, 2 ER, 7 K. Stays undefeated. I know you’re all scared to own him based on his ownership percentages. A player who’s 5-0 on a first place team and rocking a 3.16 ERA with 42 Ks should probably be owned in more than 50% of leagues. The walks are concerning, but Slick Nick’s only real blemish was surrendering a homer to Ohtani in the sixth, and who hasn’t given up a homer to Shohei this year? He responded by striking out Mike Trout who is a pretty good player you may of heard of. Basically, I’m saying you should own Nick Pivetta.
Matt Barnes – 1.0 IP, 3 K, SV (9). Struck out the side with just 11 pitches. Maybe all those years of watching Barnes being mediocre was all leading up to this 2021 breakout where he’s become one of the most dominant closers in the game. I honestly don’t know how that happened and I quite literally watched it happen.
Griffin Canning – 6.0 IP, 6 hits, 2 ER, 2 BB, 7 K. 1.59 ERA in May. Hogwarts number 1 extracurricular activity has now strung together 3 straight quality-ish starts and gets a juicy match up with Cleveland next week. I know I say to avoid all Angels pitchers, but I might make an exception for Griffin, who also gets some of the best run support in the league. If that makes a difference.
Corey Kluber – 6.0 IP, 7 hits, 4 ER, 2 BB, 6 K, 3rd win. Not quite looking like Cy Young Corey yet, but not quite looking like Lost Boyz Corey either. He’s been pretty awesome in May with two wins and a 2.75 ERA with 22 strikeouts. Dare I say it’s Klubering time?
Aaron Judge – 2-for-3, 2 HR (10). Judge and his .946 OPS is “quietly” having his best season since his rookie year and the Yankees are quietly creeping back to relevance winning seven of their last 10 games. Well, it was fun while it lasted.
Gio Urshela – 1-for-3, HR (5). Gio’s got a nine game hitting streak and sat yesterday with a sore knee but that didn’t stop him from pinch hit greatness. With Gleyber out with the post-vax ‘rona, Gio could even see some time at shortstop assuming that bad knee I mentioned ain’t that bad.
Wade Miley – 3.0 IP, 11 hits, 8 ER, 3 BB, 5 K, L. The first pitcher to give up 11 hits in a post-no-hitter game since Bob Gibson! If that ain’t some quality company to be in I don’t know who is. Sandy Alcantara also gave up 8 ER, but that’s not as cool a name drop. I don’t know what you expected, another no-hitter? Take the Bob Gibson comp and be satisfied with that.
Daniel Bard – 1.0 IP, BB, SV(4), ERA at 6.59. Just four saves and an ERA approaching 7. I can’t believe how long I’ve held onto this guy. One of the most important aspects of the SAGNOF is the actual saves part. That’s the ‘S’!
Garret Hampson – 3-for-4, 2 runs, HR (5). Tripled to lead off the game instantly crushing Wade Wiley’s hopes of back-to-back no-nos. He was a double away from the cycle and a steal away from a big old smooch and a thank you card from me. Maybe next game!
Jonathan India – 2-for-4, HR (3). Doode has been all kinds of awful. I still like him though and nothing like a trip to Coors to cure what ails ya. Back to back two-hit games with dingers in each? Not ready to pounce, but I’m watching him closer than Jupiter’s Legacy on Netflix. Which is to say–not all that closely really. Why is it so bad? I think this show is making me hate superhero movies.
Josh Fuentes – 2-for-4, 2 runs, 2 RBI. Hitting .400 in the past week with three straight multi-hit games. There’s hot potatoes, then there’s Rocky Mountain hot potatoes. Which one doesn’t have sour cream? Dairy makes me gassy.
Yonathan Daza – 3-for-4, 3 RBI. It’s a Coors party and everyone is invited. Yonny has a five game hitting streak and has flashed some power and speed. He’s not Daza-ling anyone, but as a Coors play you have my yellow handed thumbs up.
Max Scherzer – 5.0 IP, 2 hits, BB, 7 K, 3rd win, ERA at 2.10. How are you still this good? His name is Max. His world is fire and blood. Talk about a road warrior!
Trea Turner – 2-for-5, HR (9), 3 RBI. Yes, Trea! Just like that! I love you more than I could ever love a human, baby.
Yan Gomes – 5-for-6, 4 runs, 2 RBI. Every Nats starter had at least one hit except the pitcher. They racked up 22 hits off this poor DBacks pitching staff and scored 17 runs. I’m embarrassed for the Diamondbacks tbh. This isn’t the first time the rest of the country is embarrassed for something happening in Arizona.
Kyle Schwarber – 3-for-4, 2 runs, HR (5), 2 RBI. Kyle is kind of like a poor man’s Harper, no? Meanwhile in Philly, Bryce is filling in all the holes in his game becoming a more complete player, but Kyle is ol’ school Harper like–TO THE MOON! Yeah. I can see this working!
Clayton Kershaw – 6.0 IP, 6 hits, 5 ER, BB, 11 K. I would give up an extra two runs per Kersh start if it meant 10+ Ks every time out. You hear me, Clay!? I’m asking for more runs and more Ks. Make it happen!
Max Muncy – 2-for-4, HR (8), 3 RBI. The Dodgers scored 9 runs on 12 hits with Muncy upping his slash to .243/.439/.496 with 24 runs scored and 22 RBI. I feel like Maxy is the key with this team, when he’s going good they’re all going good. Getting Cody Bellinger back could also help.
Manny Machado – 2-for-3, run, 2 RBI. It’s amazing to me how much better Tatis makes this line up. What did they spend all that money on? Or is everyone else just hurt? Stop. Getting. Covid.
Tyler O’Neill – 2-for-4, HR (8). He was a BUY. I mentioned him last week and so skillfully spelled his name wrong. He’s got three homers and seven RBIs in the past seven days! And if you’re wondering, YES, I do get paid per each of Grey’s articles I link to. I fact, now that I’m not a dogecoin millionaire anymore, I want to make sure you had a chance to read Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday‘s posts. There’s some great content in there–just make sure you click through the links! Quality OC by OP!
Nolan Arenado – 3-for-5, HR (7). There was something Grey used to do with these Arenado posts? Is he still doing it this year? Oh man, it’s been so long I don’t remember. Hmm, maybe I should call him and ask. I’ll just go to the roof of this skyscraper I live in–should get better reception there, especially with all this rain. Oh! I forgot my vape. Lol. I like to have nice fat rip of vape when I make my phone calls. I’ll just leave my phone on this crumbling building ledge on this extra stormy evening while I get my vape downstairs and then I can call Grey and ask him about the Nolan posts and–nooooo, TORENADO!
Thanks for reading! Questions? Problems? Complaints to management? Advice, small gifts or large bribes? Please leave it in the comments below. Join us next Saturday for another Friday recap as fantasy baseball continues next week, all week long!