Please see our player page for Zack Greinke to see projections for today, the next 7 days and rest of season as well as stats and gamelogs designed with the fantasy baseball player in mind.

“Lower the koozie a little bit.  No, a little bit more.  Okay, now spray some mist on the outside of the can to make it look like it’s sweating.  Now rub your finger from the D in Dr. to the R in Pepper.  This is romance!  For me!”  That’s me explaining to Cougs how I want her to seduce me with a visual metaphor of Juan Soto.  Or as I like to call him, Sexy Dr. Pepper.  Last night he hit two more homers (2-for-3, 4 RBIs) and now has five homers on the year, hitting .344 since his call-up and he’s only 19 years old.  *puts handkerchief to head, faints*  He was the first 19-year-old to homer at a Yankee Stadium since Ken Griffey Jr. in 1989.  He is the fifth youngest major leaguer with a two-homer game (Mel Ott, Danny Murphy (not that one), Griffey, Andruw Jones).  He is the third youngest major leaguer to show up at Yankee Stadium and say, “A concession guy offered his wife to me for sex.” (Fritz Peterson and Mike Kekich)  Not to put the hype too much to eleven, but he is blowing away what Bryce and Trout did when they were both 19 years old.  19-year-olds who hit a home run in the last 40 years:  Soto, Bryce, Trout, Justin Upton, Andruw, Griffey and Juan Gonzalez.  Betting on a 19-year-old to fail who is already up in the majors succeeding is betting the Don’t Pass line, and no one likes that guy.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Ya know, if you’re gonna get busted for PEDs and be suspended for 80 games, the way to do it is right after fracturing your hand.  It’s like coming down with mono the week of your prom when you have no date.  “Damn, am I gonna miss that?  That is too bad, but I am so drowsy I feel like I have two Forest Whitaker eyes.”  That’s you getting prom-o-mono.  I am more surprised to hear Robinson Cano was busted for PEDs, than I am to learn he had no idea he was taking the illegal substance.  Baseball is currently batting a thousand for denials of PEDs suspensions. MLB players’ denials of taking the illicit substance should get into the Hall of Fame on its first ballot.  Speaking of Hall of Fame, I kinda thought Robinson Cano was headed there.  This will obviously shade a cloud over his entire career, which I do think is a shame.  What’s also a shame, you need to drop him in all leagues.  He’s more or less done for the year.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Yesterday, Vince Velasquez went 6 IP, 3 ER, 6 baserunners, 12 Ks, ERA at 5.05.  Ironic his initials are VV, because owning him is anything but peaceful.  Maybe Richard Nixon was prophetic when he threw up the V’s.  Did Nixon say, “I am not a…conservative streamer?”  VV is so volatile, he’s like Nixon in a Pepsi full of Mentos!  “Vince, why are you taping us?”  Velasquez shakes his jowls.  “Why are you always hating Ian Kennedy?”  Velasquez diverts his eyes.  “Vince, why do you keep asking for advice from that WAR monger, Henry Kissingfangrapher?”  Velasquez’s peripherals are much prettier than his ERA — 11 K/9, 3.1 BB/9, 3.83 xFIP — but there is no way to recommend him without saying you know he can screw you at any moment.  So be careful listening to Henry Kissingfangrapher.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Corey Seager hit the DL about 15 minutes after weekly lineups locked for the massive Ziplock.  “Yo, I got more Ziplocks than a 5th grade bully stealing lunches,” said the very un-woke fantasy baseballer (<–my mom’s term!).  Never bully, unless you’re like Cougs and you say, “Bully bully,” thinking it’s “Dilly dilly.”  Don’t tell Cougs she’s out of touch!  Then ten minutes later, in a cruel twist of fate, Seager told the world he needs Tommy John surgery that he should’ve had this offseason.  Anyone who reads The Ball of Razz knows I hate Seager for fantasy, so I won’t rub salt in your wounds if you drafted him, but you did it without my consent, so I could retain the legal services of Gloria Allred and send you to jail.  Replacing Seager will be some combo pu-pu platter of Utley, Forsythe, Taylor and Kike.  Corey should be back next year to the City of Angels without missing a beat, unlike Corey’s Angels.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

The Tigers have filled their corner outfield with eight year olds that would be friends with the little white kid from The Blind Side and Friday Night Lights that won the hearts of stoic football players.  “Gotta go, Mikie. We invited, JaCoby over!”  You know the little white kid aka Brandon Inge.  “Hey, Ron Gardenhire, can we invite Leonys Martin to live with us?”  Ron thinks about it for a second, then, “Sure, if you’ll help me check my blood sugar.”  “Ron, no more Ben & Jerry’s!”  “Aw geez.”  Ron musses Brandon Inge’s hair and they walk off into the sunset, which in Detroit is a spray-painted sun on a wall.  In the doubleheader yesterday, Leonys Martin (3-for-10 and his 3rd and 4th homer) continued his recent brilliance.  This was why I begged numerous past teams to give him a starting job!  Also, in the do-he (totally an abbreviation), Jeimer Candelario (4-for-10, 6 runs) kept being red-hot schmotato hot, hitting his 4th homer, and his 4th homer in the last 11 games, while hitting near-.400 in that time, raising his average almost hundred points.  Candelario also must drink a lot of Mexican tap water, because he’s got the runs!  Then there was Nicholas Castellanos (5-for-9, 5 RBIs, 2 runs, hitting .333, and his 2nd homer).  It’s the Greek God of Hard Contact from the country of Hekindahitit.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I couldn’t think of a topic relevant to today’s slate to cover in the introduction, so instead I’ll just quickly mention one factor that sometimes will be overlooked when deciding pitchers on FanDuel due to FanDuel’s insistence on having the Quality Start be worth 4 points (though it’s better than the odious win, which shouldn’t be a thing). In the National League, because they are ridiculous and still think it’s a good idea to waste people’s time by having the pitcher bat, a road team pitcher who is pinch hit for in the 6th inning will, by definition, not be eligible for a QS. The home team pitcher who gets pinch hit for in the 6th will have pitched 6 innings. So while it’s obviously a very small factor, it still can sometimes be a tiebreaker – road National League pitchers have a marginal FanDuel disadvantage because they are a little less likely to qualify for a QS.

On to the picks…

New to FanDuel? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond?  Well be sure to read our content and subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays.  Just remember to sign up through us before jumping into the fray. It’s how we know you care!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Preston Tucker is on pace for 32 home runs, 129 runs batted in and a .278 batting average. I realize that the whole “on pace” argument three weeks into the season holds about as much water as a bottle with a hole in the bottom of it, but the point is that he is off to a very good start. Unexpected? I think so. After spending all of 2017 in AAA fixing flat tires for the Astros, he was traded to the Braves in the offseason where he would hopefully have the opportunity to play in the Majors. Ok, maybe he didn’t fix any flats, but he did hit 24 home runs in 569 plate appearances. Perhaps the Astros felt they were one Tucker over the limit considering they also had Preston’s younger brother Kyle in the organization. Kyle also happens to be their top hitting prospect. When the front office gave him the news I hope he said “Tucker out” as he exited the meeting.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Anibal Sanchez picks up the win is something I never thought I’d get to write again. I haven’t owned him since 2016, but my ERA and WHIP still haven’t recovered. Well, the Aniballer is back and he shut down the Chicago Cubs Friday night pitching six innings, allowing just three hits, no runs and a walk while punching out six for his first win. He’s now rocking a sultry 1.29 ERA and 1.21 WHIP with a 14/5 K/BB rate through two starts. Not amazing, but a whole lot more amazinger than the 6.41 ERA, 1.59 WHIP he put up last year in 28 games. Oh bah gawd, the WHIP! It burrrns! My favorite thing about Anibal is that his ESPN profile page has a pic of him in a Twins hat, a team which, to my knowledge, he has never played for. Hmm, suspect. Clearly, we cannot fully trust Sanchez just yet but two straight quality road starts against two of the leagues best offenses has got me #tbt’ing to 2013 Anibal! That was Sanchez’ best year statistically and 2 years before the cold, sad, crushing, harshness of the city of Detroit damaged his psyche irreparably. It may not be Miami, but Anibal is in Atlanta now, and they do have Migos. Also, it’s the National League which is a better place than any to revive your career. Sanchez has a fairly nice match up at home versus the Phillies next week and I might take a chance seeing if I can rebottle some of those good ol’ fashioned 2013 Anibalic K-Roids I used to get on the streets of the ‘Roit. B Rabbit sold them to me. April has always been Sanchez’ best month statistically so if you’re going to buy now might be the time. Anibal’s available almost everywhere and he’s at the very least worth watching as he tries to win back our trust in Atlanta. Maintain Aniballer status, and maybe I’ll consider streaming you next week. I won’t tell my ratios if you don’t.

Here’s what else happened in fantasy baseball Friday night:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

This is an interesting slate, which I hope you’ll all enjoy. There’s a lot of ins, a lot of outs, a lot of what-have-yous. A lot of pitchers. I think I wrote up nine different pitchers. Surely, even if you play multiple lineups, you aren’t going to use nine different pitchers on FanDuel. So I gave you a lot of food for thought. I’m just sorry it’s soup, I know I should keep more of your favorites around. On the offensive side of the ball, it’s the usual suspects at the top for building blocks in both cash games and tournaments and cheaper options with the platoon advantage.

New to FanDuel? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well be sure to read our content and subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays. Just remember to sign up through us before jumping into the fray. It’s how we know you care!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

There’s nothing better than an April Fools’ prank that is so sly it’s barely perceptible as a prank.  You don’t even know if it’s a gag.  One year, I had a sound engineer friend make a recording that said, “This call is being recorded.  A copy of that recording is available automatically to the police and the prosecutors.”  Then used that to call my mom and tell her I was in jail for accidentally running down a family of four.  “But mom the light was yellow!”  Apparently, I overestimated how funny she’d find that phone call, and twelve years later, she still calls me the night before April Fools’ to remind me not to pull any pranks on her.  This year the best prank I saw was one done by Major League Baseball.  It was so slight, if you blinked you’d miss it.  For their prank, they scheduled a half day on a Sunday.  Since 1908, MLB has played a full schedule of games on Sunday.  What a great joke!  Well done, MLB.  But, seriously, this is a joke, right?  Any hoo!  Know what’s not a joke, the love Trevor Williams has for Razzball, apparently:

Yesterday, Williams wasted no time to prove to me that his love for us is as strong as my love for him.  He went 6 IP, 0 ER with zero hits, but he failed to locate as well, and walked five guys, while racking up only one strikeout.  I believe his love for Razzball is only growing so this is just the beginning of great things to come.  Notice spelling of ‘come,’ you sickos.  On the reals, I like Williams for this year, and wrote a Trevor Williams sleeper for him this preseason.  Anyway, here’s what I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?