Astros Find The True Successor To Kevin Bass

June 15, 2017 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 471 Comments

Derek Fisher was called up by the Astros to replace the concussed Reddick. First off, Derek needs to stop singing that jingle, “Trust the Astros Fisher, man.” Tres annoying. Saying tres instead of very is tres annoying, too. Fisher was hoping Reddick was some combination of reddish and haddock. “Get that seaweed out of my face!” That’s Nori Aoki. Everyone in MLB is happy for Fisher except this guy. If you thought Strickland-Harper was something… Sorry, for Derek Fisher, that was a layup. As for fantasy, Fisher has power and speed, has had strikeout issues, but no worse than Bellinger. He could be a difference maker if he plays 75%+ of the time. One of the best guys in the minors this year. Better on power than speed, inefficient as a runner. Yes, PCL, but MLB is kinda PCL-like nowadays. Might outproduce Brinson, though Fisher needs to stick in a job for that. Yesterday, he went 2-for-3, 2 runs, 2 RBIs with his first home run, and I think Fisher is for reel, and not just on the casting couch. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Two Carloses and A Pollock Walk Into A Bar And Order A DL Trip

May 16, 2017 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 616 Comments

by: Grey

Yesterday was a bad day to quit being young with A.J. Pollock and Carlos Gomez both hitting the DL. Together! In a non-gay way. But it would’ve been totally cool with me if it was in a gay way. Let’s start with Pollock since he is the less ethnically sensitive of the two. Pollock has a Grade 1 groin strain. When the strain happened, Pollock was reading Groin Strains for Dummies. Chapter 1: Don’t Move Your Leg In A Normal Manner. “Go to a trampoline, but don’t jump on it with your feet, fall on it sitting criss-cross apple sauce.” Pollock will likely be out for two to three weeks, and in his place the Russian Game of Thrones character, Gregor Blanco, and Reymond “You Can’t Not Think Of Daisy” Fuentes. Fuentes is the more interesting of two, since he should be on the stronger side of a platoon, and has speed. Outside of NL-Only and deep mixed leagues, I’m passing on both. As for CarGomez, he will miss four to six weeks. That’s too bad, he used to be good three years ago. Replacing him on the roster will be Jared Hoying, who looks like a Motter-fodder. Then, we have Carlos Carrasco, who is affectionately known as Cookie, and I am a Cookie Monster for him, so this one hurts me. In yesterday’s game, Carrasco had a huge lead, when he squandered that and left the game with a trainer. All you had to do with cruise to the W on the Ivictory Coast! Apparently, that’s the way the Cookie crumbles. He was diagnosed with left pectoral tightness, which doesn’t sound bad. Which, Part 2: The Return of the Which, will still likely mean a DL stint. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Aaron A Gets The Lede. I Second It! Altherr’d It!

May 11, 2017 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 649 Comments

by: Grey

If players are going to break out in a season, they don’t always break out the first week of a season. I’m reminded of another Phillies player, Dominic Brown. The year he broke out, it didn’t happen until June of that year. Of course, in subsequent years, his swing got long like Don Johnson’s in The Harrad Experiment and rather than working his way back in the cages, Brown was preoccupied with avoiding his stalker, Tehol. This brings us to another potential breakout, Aaron Altherr. Or as Mystikal calls him, Altherr. You don’t have to be scurred, he’s doing his thang. Altherr hit two more homers yesterday (2-for-4, 4 RBIs, hitting .351), and is one of the hottest players in the majors this week. Of course, this won’t continue, but to what degree will this tail off? By the way, I want to be a judge at a twerking competition called a Tail Off. In the minors, he’s shown speed (20-ish) and power (teen-ish). With his Ks and BABIP, his average will come down a long way (maybe .250), but I see no reason why he can’t be a 17/20/.250 hitter on the year, and definitely a must own. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Biking Bumgarner Bail Out a Big Bummer

April 22, 2017 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 84 Comments

by: Dan Pants

There’s no denying that Madison Bumgarner works hard. Well, he plays even harder. So it should have come as no surprise when news broke that the San Francisco ace was placed on the disabled list after injuring his left shoulder in a dirt bike accident. Wait. You were doing WHAT? But why!? You can’t expect Madison to get his kicks doing regular pleb things like playing Xbox or frisbee golf, it’s gotta be EXTREME. Regardless, this is a huge blow for Giants fans and Bumgarner owners alike. Madison is sporting a 3.00 ERA, 1.07 WHIP and 28/4 K/BB rate through four starts and early reports suggest he is set to miss over two months. Bummer. But honestly, what do you want from the guy? For him to not participate in dangerous extreme sports on his days off? I mean, come on, his hands were tied. Ty Blach is set to fill in the interim. Blach and his just 21.2 innings of major league experience. Blach is a ground ball pitcher with just a 13.4% strikeout rate, so he’s probably not the answer to your Bumgarner woes. More like, Ty Blech, right? Lol. He is slated to take on the Dodgers next week, but if you’re feeling dangerous you’d likely be better off dirt biking than picking up Ty Blach outside of deep NL-Only leagues. Here’s hoping at the very least Bumgarner got some sick air.

Here’s what else I saw in fantasy baseball Friday night:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

3rd Basemen to Target, 2017 Fantasy Baseball

March 17, 2017 | Fantasy Baseball Sleepers | 338 Comments

by: Grey

Excuse the exposition and this clunky intro into aforementioned exposition, but here’s the catchers to target, 1st basemen to target, 2nd basemen to target, shortstops to target and something to stick to your dartboards to target. These 3rd basemen to target are being drafted after 200 overall. Keep in mind, nephew (and five niece readers), your Uncle Grey likes to have a corner man drafted by the time these guys appear, so you’re looking at potential utility men more than anything. Now, this is a (legal-in-all-countries-except-Indonesia) supplement to the top 20 3rd basemen for 2017 fantasy baseball. Click on the player’s name where applicable to read more and see their 2016 projections. Anyway, here’s some 3rd basemen to target for 2017 fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Third Base is Even Deeper Than You Thought…

February 6, 2017 | 2017 Fantasy Baseball Draft | 30 Comments

by: Lance

Let me take you through the thought process of a writer like myself.

I constantly have thoughts relating to the game of baseball passing through my head. I’m sure many other baseball fanatics can relate. Ideas that have an added layer of intrigue tend to find there way onto my iPhone’s Notes app, to be revisited in a triage-like manner at points later in the day. What I’ve learned is that you can’t force these ideas.

So last Tuesday Grey and I joined a 12-team roto mock draft with the CBS Sports crew and I soon realized two things…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Top 20 3rd Basemen for 2017 Fantasy Baseball

January 24, 2017 | Uncategorized | 183 Comments

by: Grey

Now that we’re four positions in we can get a sense of how deep each position is. Our thermometers? Jedd Gyorko and Wilmer Flores. If Wilmer cries, the thermometer has gone too deep. So, on the top 20 1st baseman for 2017 fantasy baseball, Gyorko and Wilmer were 26 and 41, respectively. Here, they’re 24 and 38, so we have less depth in the top 20 3rd basemen for 2017 fantasy baseball. At the top 20 2nd basemen for 2017 fantasy baseball, they are 22 and 37. So, 3rd base and 2nd base are fairly close, but, they’re all crazy close. Finally, the top 20 shortstops for 2017 fantasy baseball, only has Gyorko where he is 19th overall. So, depth rankings on infield are shortstops, 2nd base, 3rd base and 1st base, but it doesn’t tell the whole story. Carpenter is 12th here, but 21st on the 1st basemen, and Villar is 5th here and at the 2nd basemen. There are areas where each infield position has its strengths and weaknesses and relative equality like I’m not sure we’ve seen before, which is what everyone says about everything. People say now we have more things we’ve never seen before than any other time in history. Any hoo! My projections are noted for every player and all positions are at the 2017 fantasy baseball rankings. Anyway, here’s the top 20 3rd basemen for 2017 fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Jo-Fer Is A National Security Risk

September 21, 2016 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 247 Comments

by: Grey

In order to be competitive, the Marlins would need All-Stars at every position all farmed from their minor league system. Sorta like what the Cubs have managed to do. Not impossible, but that’s what it would take for the Marlins because they are cheap AF. By the way, AF is my favorite acronym. Props to whoever first started using it. Feels like it started on Twitter because of the character limit. Keeps shizz short and simple AF, kinda like me (short and simple). Any the hoo! I was saying the Marlins need to be precise AF (I’m overusing it now) with their minor league system like they were with Jose Fernandez. He’s AF as AF comes. His nickname should no longer be Jo-Fer but AF. Or maybe AF-Fer. Nah, that looks like a trade union. A-Fer? That looks like algebra. Fernandez should own Abercrombie & Fitch he’s so AF. Yesterday, Jose Fernandez went 8 IP, 0 ER, 3 hits, zero walks and 12 Ks. He has 253 Ks in 182 1/3 innings. Seriously, digest that for a second. WTF AF?! Of course, I wish the Marlins would shut him down until 2017, but I have no chance of owning him next year. Not that I don’t love him. He’s the best pitcher in the game if I’m building a dynasty league. Yeah, I said it. I want him over Kershaw. Kershaw has been durable up until this year, but all pitchers are durable up until the point when they’re not. At one point, Jake Peavy was durable AF, too. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

All Up In Your Gurriel

September 10, 2016 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 17 Comments

by: Dan Pants

Houston’s 32-year old Cuban rookie Yulieski Gurriel was 2-for-4 with his first stolen base Friday night. Or is it Guerriel? Gourriel? Don’t worry about spelling his name correctly, the media sure doesn’t–what’s important is Friday’s two hit night capped off an impressive week for the third baseman where he hit .321 with four runs, two home runs and drove in five runs. Debuting at the end of August, Yulieski got off to a slow start after struggling with a mild hamstring injury, but that looks to be a thing of the past and he’s now hit safely in his last six games, and has homered in two of his last three games. Players like Yulieski require praise, they demand it. As soon as manager A.J. Hinch let him know he was a good Gurriel, and started rewarding him with treats (he really likes Combos) Yulieski turned it on. Atta Gurriel! Yes, you are! Who’s a good Gurriel? You arrrre! Yulieski was less than impressive during his short minors stint (.250/.262/.429 line with two home runs and 14 RBI in 15 games), but he bat .500 with 15 homers in 50 games in Cuba last year which is a about as good as it sounds, so there is little doubt our boy is major league ready. Did you read Grey’s Yulieski Gurriel fantasy? I read it while conducting a scientific tasting of all the different Combos flavors. Pepperoni pizza won in a landslide. Lord Byron Buxton will be the hot-shot rookie pick up of the week, and by all means, if he’s available grab him, but Gurriel could be a nice add if you lost the Buxton sweepstakes, and he’s still out there in over 80% of leagues. I’d own him in any league where wanted to win. Yulieski can do it!

Here’s what else I saw in fantasy baseball Friday night:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Buy Into Cronyism And Putin CJ

September 9, 2016 | Fantasy Baseball Buy/Sell | 350 Comments

by: Grey

“What about Asdrubal? Asdrubal, Cron, Buxton, Peraza, Morales and Puig? Puig, Morales, Asdrubal, Buxton and Morales? Have I already mentioned Morales? What about Puig? What about Cron? WHAT ABOUT CRON?! Hardwiring is smoking! I think I’m overheating! Don’t throw water on me, I’ll short circuit!” It’s too late. As the water hits the Fantasy Master Lothario’s mainframe, a sickening mix of smoke and sizzle expels from his metal joints. He staggers to a pole and places his metal hand down. With one last flicker, he looks up with his metallic, blue eyes and asks hopefully, “Is Puig facing a lefty?” And shuts down. The metal pole he placed his hand on wasn’t just any pole, it hung Old Glory. As if the ghost of George Washington himself was a fan, the American flag lowers onto the Lothario’s shoulders, draping him like a metal Kid Rock. If only people would’ve just picked up C.J. Cron! My one major quibble with Cron — Or is it queef? I always confuse those two. — is Cron going to have The Sciosciapath try to outsmart the universe and start benching one of the hottest hitters? Not even the Sciosciapath can answer that, for he does not know what his brain tells him to do. Plus, he’s crazy. Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

Psyche! Before we get into the Buy/Sell, just wanted to say a huge fantasy football announcement is coming in the next few days. Let’s just say it sounds like Stream-o-Nator, but it’s got a football vibe to it. And it’s less lonely. Oh, Stream-o-Nator so lonely! I wonder if the Stream-o-Nator and Hitter-Tron ever tried to date. Anyway II, the Buy/Sell:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Abreu Shows Minnesota His Dong Twins

September 5, 2016 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 216 Comments

by: Grey

Not quite as spiritually moving as John Lennon, but imagine for a moment Jose Abreu were to actually put together two solid halves in the same year. “Imagine there’s no heaven, it’s easy if you try. No ‘He’ll end up below Andrus,’ for half the year. Above Andrus only this Jose guy. Imagine Abreu playing a decent, full season like today. Aha-ha… Imagine there’s no countries. It isn’t hard to do. Nothing to drop or trade for, and no ‘Abreu’s so cold it’s like this hell has a fridge in it’ too. Imagine all the people living to get a piece of…Abreu… You may say I’m a dreamer, but I’m not the only one! I hope some day Abreu’ll be better than Andrus, and play an entire season as one.” So, Jose Abreu hit two homers yesterday (3-for-7, 7 RBIs, and 21st and 22nd HRs), and he’s been great recently, but it’s hard to get that excited about a guy for 2017 who invariably takes three months off every year. Can’t imagine he’s a top 25 player ever again. You-WHO-OOH! Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Oh Lord, Byron’s Back, Don Juan Him?

September 2, 2016 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 155 Comments

by: Grey

I went over some September call-ups primer yesterday. It was written pretty smoothly. Meaning: I took a laxative and crapped out a post. I’m a modest man of modest means. What can I say? Everyone wants Yoan Moncada all over their fantasy shizz. Some of y’all got Tom Murphy on the brain. Others of you are wondering about Jose De Leon and how his great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-uncle’s quest for the Fountain of Youth was shorter than the time it took the Dodgers to call Jose up. None of you are interested in Byron Buxton. Been there, eff that. I hear you, prematurely balding internet friend. He’s all served us a steak that later turned out to be tofu that left us scrubbing our tongues with our fingernails. All the way back in March, Buxton was still considered a sure-fire, can’t miss prospect. I think he still is. Not everyone takes the path of least resistance. For unstints, I saw a video of a McNugget on Twitter that showed much resistance. Yesterday, Buxton went 1-for-3, 3 RBIs and his 2nd homer, and I would grab him in all leagues looking for A) Spark. B) Speed. C) No C. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?