Our 2017 fantasy baseball rankings are humming right along. The last post, the top 20 1st basemen for 2017 fantasy baseball, was the longest post ever written on the internet by a relatively sane person. The post before that, top 20 catchers for 2017 fantasy baseball, was the longest post ever written by a relatively insane person. Incredibly, these are the same person. Glass half sane, glass half crazy, nah mean? So, without further hubbub on the tomfoolery, the top 20 2nd basemen for 2017 fantasy baseball was shallow like how Altuve likes his pool water as recently as two years ago, but that was not the case last year, and almost rivaled 1st basemen for depth. So, that’s the same again this year, right? Well, let’s see about that. As always, my projections are included and I mention where I see tiers starting and stopping. Anyway, here’s the top 20 2nd basemen for 2017 fantasy baseball:
1. Jose Altuve – Went over him in the top 10 for 2017 fantasy baseball.
2. Trea Turner – Went over him in the top 20 for 2017 fantasy baseball.
3. Rougned Odor – Went over him in the top 20 for 2017 fantasy baseball.
4. Robinson Cano – This is a new tier. This tier goes from here until Murphy. I call this tier, “Why don’t I want any of these guys?” These players were all good last year. All good as in the everyday definition and not ‘all good’ like the Urban Dictionary definition. Though, those two definitions are kinda the same. Last year, Cano thru Murphy were turnt up AF (attracting a younger demographic!). Cano thru Murphy last year hit the ave, their low rider went bump and the perfect song came on the radio all summer long. This year? They are giving me the mehs! I don’t want any of them. As for Cano, he had a career year in ’16 in a career that’s had some superb seasons. He had a new career high in runs (107) and homers (39). His HR/FB% was his 2nd highest of his career. Last time that happened, he followed a 33-homer season with 27 HRs. He had one of the lowest average distances on homers for someone with at least 20 homers (less than Marcus Semien and Salvador Perez with 395.7 feet). Oh, and now he’s gonna be 34 years old. 2017 Projections: 86/26/91/.291/2 in 605 ABs
5. Jonathan Villar – Could one position have more guys I’m less excited about than other fantasy baseball ‘perts? I’ll give you a hint: no. Okay, less of a hint and more of a direct answer. I will say that Villar has me less disillusioned than most of the guys in this tier, and more just on the bleh train headed to Whatevs-ville. Villar is a 15 homer, 35 steal, .255 hitter. That’s not bad (and, brucely, no one in this tier is bad per se); it’s just I think we had five career years in the span of five players. When was the last time that happened? I’ll give you another hint: I have no idea and I’m hoping you can tell me. 2017 Projections: 91/15/51/.257/37 in 565 ABs
6. Brian Dozier – Okay, seriously, how many career years can one tier handle?! If you’re drafting in a DeLorean and going back to last year, then this tier is so luscious. But if you’re drafting for this year, I really don’t understand how you could get excited about any of these guys. Dozier is a .245 hitter who usually hits around 25 homers with 15-ish steal speed. It’s solid, but he had 42 homers and 18 steals with a .268 average last year. His ceiling called and said there’s no more room up here, go back down! 2017 Projections: 102/25/74/.248/15 in 595 ABs
7. Jean Segura – Here’s what I said this offseason, “(Segura) went the other way in the Taijuan Walker trade. How I feel about this trade is more clear than Flint drinking water. I like Segura, but he is not the 20-homer, 30-steal, .320-hitting guy he was last year. Aren’t you supposed to build around young pitchers too? Isn’t that Fix Your Team 101? Don’t worry, Mariners fans are among the loudest homers, so you’ll hear all about how this is a great trade for them. Yeah, mmhmm. I rolled my eyes real hard between the yeah and the mmhmm. You couldn’t even see my irises in the middle of the roll. That’s how hard I roll!” And that’s me quoting me! 2017 Projections: 83/11/46/.274/27 in 580 ABs
8. Ian Kinsler – I like the guys in this tier! Dot dot dot. At last year’s draft price. This year, you’re lucky if you break even! The preceding sounds like it could’ve also been a chorus in a 2 Live Jews song, and ‘Dot Dot Dot’ was signaling to one of the old Jewish ladies in the video. A bit of insight into the actual numbering here, I almost had the tier go from Cano to Dozier and Segura thru Murphy as a different tier. Also, at one point, I had Kinsler above Segura with Kipnis below Murphy. What does all this mean besides my early campaigning for Indecision ’17? It means everyone from Segura to Murphy are close, and Cano, Villar and Dozier feel on a slightly higher level. 2017 Projections: 105/18/77/.272/12 in 607 ABs
9. Daniel Murphy – Went over him in the top 20 1st basemen for 2017 fantasy baseball.
10. Jonathan Schoop – This is a new tier. This tier goes from here until LeMahieu. I call this tier, “The night shift!” Tier name is pretty straightforward. Kidding, the tier name makes no sense without an explanation. The other day my Cougar wife said to me that, due to my snoring, we might have to sleep in shifts. She would sleep for six hours then I get to sleep for six hours. So, I immediately yelled, “I take the night shift!” Cougs then argued that she came up with the plan so she gets the night shift, but I said it’s like when you call shotgun first. Doesn’t matter if that means grandma, with her arthritic knees, is stuck in the backseat, if you call shotgun first, then you get shotgun. Well, I called the night shift, which means I get to sleep from midnight to six AM and Cougs can sleep from 6 AM to noon. That’s this tier, the tier you want, the night shift. As for Schoop, I’m convinced that if people saw Schoop hit, they’d be as excited about drafting him. Let’s see if there’s anything to that:
Sexy, right? I also think people are less enthusiastic for Schoop due to his OBP, even if people don’t play in OBP leagues. Would it be nice if he took some walks? Yeah, I guess, but the elderly are all about taking walks, but I’m not drafting how well the old dude with tennis balls on his walker is moving through the mall. Last year was a big year for power, and Schoop’s stats actually show he has more to give, rather than less. His fly balls went down slightly along with his HR/FB%. If those revert to his career norms, and, at 25 years old, I expect they will, then he can get above 30+ HRs without a ton of effort. 2017 Projections: 78/30/89/.260/2 in 565 ABs
11. Dee Gordon – 94/2/28/.268/60 is Gordon’s stats from last year if you would prorate them across a whole season. Sure, when we prorate, we make a pro out of rat and E. Okay, that doesn’t work as well as assume, but 50+ steals doesn’t seem like a pipe dream, unless Gordon was smoking his PEDs rather than just injecting them. 2017 Projections: 88/3/39/.282/51 in 608 ABs
12. Jose Peraza – For every guy that says at your draft, “Pereza is gonna play and steal 50+ bases!” Tell him there’s a Chinese orphan that drafted Peraza last year with the same hopes, and back then they had a family. Draft Peraza, but he may abandon you as the Reds abandon him. UPDATE: The Reds look more committed to Peraza now than in January and have been pushing him to be their number two hitter, and, since their number one hitter is Billy Hamilton, the Reds could lead the league in bunts, infield singles and ‘Damn, I shouldn’t have blinked’s. 2017 Projections: 78/4/46/.288/44 in 527 ABs
13. Devon Travis – Already gave you my Devon Travis sleeper. It was written while sifting through my Cracker Jack for the prize. 2017 Projections: 91/19/64/.285/10 in 578 ABs
14. DJ LeMahieu – This is so not the kind of guy I usually get excited about. 11 HRs and 11 SBs last year? Let me vomit into my mouth then slowly drop it out of mouth and spell out ‘Blech’ with vomit spittle. That’s my usual reaction to a guy like LeMahieu. LeMehpew — amiright?! Okay, so bear with me, or bare with me if you’re a nudist, LeMahieu’s average home run distance was 416.6 feet, that would’ve been the 4th highest in the majors if he had 20 homers. He hit a ton of homers to straightaway center (okay, only six to center, but he only hit 11 total). If he pulls some balls in Coors, I think 20 HRs is possible. We’re seeing a new LeMahieu — LeMahnew? — one that hits for some power and still hits for a high average. Finally, his speed is kinda make or break his value a bit — LeValue? — and he might be more of a 15-steal guy than the 23 steals he had in 2015. There’s some risk here, but I’m guessing LeMahieu becomes a top five 2nd baseman this year with not that much risk when you consider he was the 9th best 2nd baseman last year on your Player Rater. The top five is his LeMilieu. 2017 Projections: 96/14/64/.311/15 in 560 ABs
15. Matt Carpenter – This is a new tier. This tier goes from here until Castro. I call this tier, “If you don’t know what to expect, welcome to your first year of fantasy baseball. It’s challenging (to maintain relationships while watching fifteen games every day for six months).” Went over Carpenter in the top 20 1st basemen for 2017 fantasy baseball.
16. Logan Forsythe – I saw some talk this offseason by someone that LoFo is a cheap Kipnis. I suppose there’s a case to be made there, I’m not making that case obvi. LoFo had 511 ABs last year, and 509 of them were leadoff, and he still only had 76 runs. Yeah, LoFo’s my fetch. UPDATE: The Dodgers traded for Forsythe because I guess he was a cheap Dozier? You know, because the Dodgers were trying to trade for Dozier this offseason. This pushes Kike Hernandez to the bench. So, the Dodgers went for Forsythe over someone with no foreskin? This boosts his counting stats value (more runs and RBIs), but doesn’t do a lot for his AVG and HRs. I’m boosting him in the rankings, but keeping him in the same tier. 2017 Projections: 88/16/54/.265/9 in 543 ABs
17. Dustin Pedroia – Trick question: does the Waldorf-Astoria have the highest priced prostitutes? Okay, trick question on topic: in the last five years, Pedroia has 106+ runs and 16+ homers, how many times? Zero. 2017 Projections: 88/12/51/.306/6 in 570 ABs
18. Ben Zobrist – He will have at least 710 ABs this year if he stays healthy. Those capable of a little in-between-line reading will see how healthy I think he will be this year. As his wife song goes, “Jesus is with us every day, but Ben is day-to-day, day-to-day, day-to-day.” Hey, take it up with her the rhyming of day with day, day and day. 2017 Projections: 86/14/55/.266/7 in 555 ABs
19. Neil Walker – If you came to this post only looking to see what I had to say about Neil Walker, you should check Ancestry.com or Geni.com, I bet you’re related to him. 2017 Projections: 66/23/75/.275/3 in 523 ABs
20. Starlin Castro – Last year I said something like, “I love Castro, he’s gonna get 20+ homers, yippee-ki-ay-motherfracker!” Maybe not the fracking part because I just started watching Battlestar Galactica. By the way, I’m not a sci-fi geek, but BG’s entertaining as frack. As for Castro, um, yeah, he got 20+ homers and was still whatever. 2017 Projections: 67/23/77/.265/5 in 567 ABs
21. Javier Baez – This is a new tier. This tier goes from here until Mondesi. I call this tier, “You sure they got the everyday job?” By this tier name I mean, I hear the same stuff as you, how each of these guys is starting for their team or how they’re not starting. I think they’re all liable to be drafted in March and, by May, it’s going to become, “Ugh, (fill-in player name from this tier) isn’t playing again. Why didn’t you tell me he was going to sit so much?” Then I’ll link to this. Then you’ll say, “Hey, look at the birdie,” as you’re distracted. As for Baez, I’m guessing I’m more down on Baez, in a non-sexual way, than most ‘perts. On a bad team, Baez plays for 600 ABs and I’m Afrika Bambaataa wearing sunglasses that have Baez’s face on them and a medallion with Baez’s number. Now? I don’t see Baez getting more than 450 ABs or hitting anywhere above the six hole for more than a hundred of them. The Cubs winning last year really cemented this too. If you’re Maddon, do you work in Baez more than last year after being so successful platooning him? Rhetorical! 2017 Projections: 55/17/65/.268/13 in 449 ABs
22. Jason Kipnis – Can take some solace that I refuse to pay retail prices for two guys in this tier — Kinsler and Kipnis — because Kinsler is Jewish and Kipnis sounds like a side order at a Jewish deli that you ask the waitress to explain every time you’re there and always forget how she described it. “It’s what stuffed into an intestine?” This tier, maybe more than any other tier this year, is going to tell us whether the offense surge last year is going to be a long term trend or if it’s going to be a one year thing. Kipnis has me the most optimistic from this tier. Not optimistic enough to move him in a more favorable tier, but his numbers don’t scream regression if you believe the gains he made last year. His fly balls shot up (literally), his hard contact went way up, his ground balls went down (literally and figuratively). A 13.1% HR/FB doesn’t seem that impossible to repeat. He looks a lot more like a 17-homer guy than an under-ten homer guy as he was in 2014 and ’15. The big concern is something he can’t change — his actual profile of a 17-homer, 15-steal, .265-type of hitter. That just isn’t that exciting. UPDATE: Kipnis will miss Opening Day with a rotator cuff injury. Terry Francona said, “Kipnis is getting better and nothing went haywire.” Is it me or do managers talk like they’re in the 1940’s? “All these newfangled buttons on the iPhone! Just give me a clubhouse phone and Andrew Miller and I’ll be a-okay. Unless I’m facing dem newfangled Dominican players. Consarnit! That Nelson Cruz jumping-jack-frass’d that ball to kingdom come! Now, someone get me my Pall Malls!” That’s Jim Leyland after the U.S.-Dominican game this past weekend. That Nelson Cruz could live in the Sandals’ Punta Cana resort for the rest of his life without paying any resort fee. I’m talking free bags of plantain chips! UPDATE II: Will be out another month-plus. Funny how ‘nothing went haywire’ and Kipnis has had three setbacks through three doctor visits. My advice, stop going to the doctor. 2017 Projections: 51/11/41/.259/12 in 419 ABs
23. Jedd Gyorko – Went over him in the top 20 1st basemen for 2017 fantasy baseball.
24. Josh Harrison – Best case scenario, he tops his career high of 13 homers and career high of 19 steals, so a poor man’s Segura. Worst case scenario, he sleeps with your wife, watches cartoons on your Netflix so your suggested shows are all screwed up and uses your Rickey Henderson rookie card as a coaster. Most realistic scenario…. 2017 Projections: 73/7/48/.280/17 in 491 ABs
25. Ryan Schimpf – Doesn’t Schimpf sound like a genetically modified shrimp they only serve at PF Chang’s? No? Meh, maybe it’s just me. Schimpf could hit 35 homers, with a .180 average and be playing in Korea by 2018. Or he hits 25 homers with a .210 average and is playing in Korea in 2019. Lots of possibilities here! 2017 Projections: 54/27/62/.207/5 in 488 ABs
26. Hernan Perez – *looks up how Hernan got 404 ABs last year in 123 games, gets distracted and somehow five hours later I’m on the Wikipedia page for the actor that plays Gregor Clegane* Pretty interesting stuff, but can he do it again? (Don’t even remember who the ‘he’ is I was distracted for so long… Oh! Yeah, Hernan!) Right, so Perez was a Swiss Army knife last year for the Brewers, as his mention on the 2017 position eligibility chart shows. He has no starting job right now, but that might not preclude him from 400+ ABs anymore than Lawrie’s starting job guarantees him 400-plus ABs. I imagine a lot of value for Perez in daily NL-Only leagues when you can slot him in and out of your lineup, and not a ton of people drafting him in shallower weekly leagues. If he gets the ABs, I don’t think a 10/30 season is that hard to imagine. 2017 Projections: 55/10/46/.247/30 in 422 ABs
27. Kolten Wong – There’s hope here that he recaptures his former top prospect status, but there’s also a possibility it’s all just Wong. 2017 Projections: 59/14/64/.278/10 in 435 ABs
28. Raul Mondesi – Will challenge that age-old adage, you can’t steal first base. If he makes it to September in the lineup, he will then challenge, you can’t wear white after Labor Day. Though, all players struggle with that. 2017 Projections: 51/9/59/.212/38 in 487 ABs
29. Danny Espinosa – This is a new tier. This tier goes from here until Solarte. I call this tier, “Yes, they are the starters. God help you if you own one.” As for Espinosa, here’s what I said this offseason, “(Espinosa was) traded to the Angels. Going back to the Nats in the trade was, “We don’t care, just take Espinosa.” Why did Arte Moreno go from spending $200 million every offseason to looking like he’s using EBT? Is Moreno the Latin Loria? Did he build up a team to get a lucrative TV contract and then pull the rug out on fans? Mike Trout is looking like a modern day Ernie Banks with this schmohawk offense.” And that’s me quoting me! 2017 Projections: 57/19/67/.215/12 in 502 ABs
30. Brandon Drury – Too bad Mark Grace no longer announces games for the Diamondbacks, since Drury sounds like a drunk person saying drawer. “Hey, woman, did you put my koozie in the Drury?” That’s you after one too many. You can’t start in Chase Field all year and not have moments where you look like you’re going to be a top five option at your position, if only for a few weeks. Drury went through it last year. Though, even after a near-full season, Drury still only had 16 homers and 1 steal. So, yeah. 2017 Projections: 66/18/71/.277/2 in 480 ABs
31. Joe Panik – I’ve seen a few things with Panik. Seen him listed as the starter, the strong side of a platoon with Ehire Adrianza and as the first reaction when your drunk dad says he wants to give a toast. I’d be more Panik’d if I had to rely on him for fantasy. 2017 Projections: 58/8/61/.262/5 in 488 ABs
32. Cesar Hernandez – Feels like one of those guys that is great in theory and terrible in reality. Like every Jim Jarmusch film. Adam Driver couldn’t even save Paterson. I’m sorry, but that movie would put to sleep a hummingbird on cocaine. 2017 Projections: 65/4/35/.277/20 in 515 ABs
33. Howie Kendrick – Went over him in the top 20 1st basemen for 2017 fantasy baseball.
34. Brandon Phillips – His value will go up if he’s traded to a contender where there’s no room for him to be a regular player, just so he’s no longer being awful in an lineup. UPDATE: As my previous blurb indicated, I figured Phillips would be traded, just didn’t expect it to happen this soon. Phillips goes to the Braves as a stopgap to prospect, Ozzie Albies, and clubhouse influence, which is different than Jung-ho who is just under the influence. Ooh, Idea Alert! They should have a TV show, NL Storytellers, where veterans get on and talk about how things were while being accompanied by a striped-down Matchbox Twenty. As for Phillips in Atlanta for fantasy, nothing changes. 2017 Projections: 65/12/69/.269/15 in 512 ABs
35. Yangervis Solarte – Fair point, person who pointed out that Solarte will be more valuable than Schimpf because of Solarte’s .270 average and decent counting stats. You won tickets for the Padres. You can pick any game, any seat and stretch your legs over 50,000 seats while you’re there. The thing is, Solarte has absolutely no upside and is a complete bore who I would never draft him, while I could see a flyer on Schimpf. That totally is a P.F. Chang’s dish, right? Schimpf flyer? No? Damn. 2017 Projections: 68/16/77/.270/1 in 509 ABs
36. Wilmer Flores – This is a new tier. This tier goes from here until Dietrich. I call this tier, “I like them, just playin’.” Hmm, for the millennial set that might be confusin’. I do like these guys, if they are just playin’. Not jokin’, I mean just startin’. Damn, bad week to drop all my G’s. If these ‘uys are just playin’, I like them. Not just jokin’! U’h, for’et it. As for Wilmer, went over him in the top 20 1st basemen for 2017 fantasy baseball.
37. Steve Pearce – Here’s what I said this offseason, “(Pearce) signed with the Jays. Thus far the Blue Jays’ offseason moves can be described by their fans as, “I hope there’s better moves to come.” As of right now, Pearce is the Jays’ starting left fielder and best hitting outfielder. Gulp.” And that’s me quoting me! The good news, the Jays signed Bautista after that. The bad news for the Jays….Bautista. 2017 Projections: 44/14/49/.279/2 in 315 ABs
38. Scooter Gennett – News out of Milwaukee is Scooter will need to battle for playing time. If Scooter has a sword, spiked mace or gun, I like his chances. If he has a bat, then I’m worried about him. 2017 Projections: 41/10/47/.274/5 in 390 ABs
39. Tyler Saladino – He should see playing time when Lawrie blows out his knee or ‘any last bit of enthusiasm anyone can anyone have for Lawrie is gone.’ 2017 Projections: 41/7/44/.276/13 in 376 ABs
40. Jace Peterson – He could hit 10 homers and steal 30 bases. Just playin’! Not just jokin’, with the Braves playin’ with Jace. Not messin’ with him, playin’ him! Si’h. 2017 Projections: 51/5/27/.239/13 in 403 ABs
41. Whit Merrifield – As Lewis Carroll once said, “To Whit Merrifield, among the mad people who drafted him. Why, sometimes I’m ‘To Whit Merrifield’ too.” 2017 Projections: 40/5/34/.261/5 in 302 ABs
42. Derek Dietrich – Went over him in the top 20 1st basemen for 2017 fantasy baseball.
44. Enrique Hernandez – This is a new tier. This tier goes from here until the end of the list. I call this tier, “I’m sorry you had a stroke during the draft, but at least you drafted someone to play 2nd base.” As for Enrique, he’s the third Jew of the top 20 2nd basemen. Though, only when he goes by his nickname. UPDATE: The Dodgers showed great Forsythe by not starting the season with this schmohawk. 2017 Projections: 54/12/57/.248/6 in 507 ABs
43. Jurickson Profar – Went over him in the top 20 1st basemen for 2017 fantasy baseball.
44. Brett Lawrie – You, “Lawrie has to start every day, the White Sox are rebuilding.” You in May, “Why do I own Lawrie yet actively rooting for Saladino to steal at-bats from him?” You in June, “Thank God, Lawrie got hurt.” UPDATE: The White Sox released Lawrie. He’s not concerned, he just updated his LinkedIn profile with “aggressively runs into the stands at a moment’s notice.” Should be hearing from someone any day now. 2017 Projections: 61/15/64/.244/6 in 475 ABs
44. Jed Lowrie – Jed’s dead (last), baby, Jed’s dead (last). 2017 Projections: 48/7/52/.249 in 468 ABs
