The shortstops are stacked, yo. They are stacked like Dolly Parton on top of a stack of hotcakes. There is gorge as far as the eye can see. If a young boy happened upon this post, he would see love for the first time, then Norman Rockwell would paint him because it was the essence of Americana, if Norman Rockwell were alive and working as a caricature artist at a carnival. I wanna roll around in these shortstops like I’m Natalie Wood rolling away from a drunk Robert Wagner. Okay, enough hubbub! If you’re just joining us, all the 2017 fantasy baseball rankings are under that link-ma-whosie. With each player is my projections and where I see tiers starting and stopping. Anyway, here’s the top 20 shortstops for 2017 fantasy baseball:
1. Manny Machado – Already went over him in the top 10 for 2017 fantasy baseball.
2. Carlos Correa – Already went over him in the top 20 for 2017 fantasy baseball.
3. Trevor Story – Already went over him in the top 20 for 2017 fantasy baseball.
4. Francisco Lindor – This is a new tier. This tier goes from here until Seager. I call this tier, “The Trevorending Story.” I kinda mentioned this in the top 20 overall, I don’t see much difference between Story, Lindor, etc. You could extend the top 20 until Seager and I’d be fine with it. One shortstop gives you power, one gives you average, one gives you all five categories but at a lesser rate. They’re all beautiful. If I were starting a new civilization, I’d grab these five shortstops, one rototiller and my Vitamix, and we’d be all set. *realizes I forgot women* Damn, this civilization is going to be short-lived. Let’s just say for the first time I can remember, I can see a scenario where I have two shortstops in the first five rounds. It might be easier to go over what I don’t like. I don’t love Lindor’s lack of huge power or speed. Everything else? *puts fingers to lips* Muah! Nah, kissing everything else isn’t enough. *mimes hourglass figure, takes imaginary hourglass figure to dinner, movie and walks imaginary hourglass figure up to its house* “I had a really nice time, imaginary hourglass figure.” *makes out with imaginary hourglass figure until accidentally falling into doorbell, causing imaginary hourglass figure’s father to come to the door, sheepishly imaginary hourglass figure smiles at me and I dance back to my imaginary Lamborghini* I’m falling in love with an imaginary hourglass figure to show how much I love Lindor. 2017 Projections: 103/17/82/.308/19 in 607 ABs
5. Xander Bogaerts – It feels like every year around July we’re having a discussion about how Bogaerts is headed for the top 20 the next year, and then we get to the next year and he’s not in the top 20. Partially due to his 1st half being better than his 2nd half and partially due his lack of huge speed and power. Lindor and Bogaerts are a coin flip with a double-headed coin, and the head on the coin is Bazooka Joe, because I traded in 15,000 Bazooka comics for this coin. Bogaerts’ offense will likely be better, Bogaerts has a bit more power, but Lindor has bigger steal upside by a lot. We’re talking 25+ steal upside for Lindor vs. 10 to 13 steal speed for Bogaerts. 2017 Projections: 107/22/94/.304/11 in 614 ABs
6. Corey Seager – Can I be straight with you? That sounds like a spoken word intro to a Frank Ocean song, “Baby, can I be straight with you?” Any hoo! I was thisclose to labeling Seager a schmohawk this year and dropping him into a tier I didn’t want. He’s a 25 homer guy with very little speed who had a huge BABIP last year that led to a .308 average. If he kicks out a .300 BABIP, he could hit .275. .275 with 25 homers and little speed is not a top five round draft pick. What stopped me was, he’s 22 years old, was top 13 in the majors for line drives, top 14 for Hard Contact and seems to be a .320 BABIP guy more than a .300 one, so more like a .305 hitter vs. a .275 hitter. Also, his power is more likely to grow. I think he might be overdrafted, and I’m not sure I’ll be getting him ranking him this low, but I can’t say I won’t take him if he’s available. Grey Albright: Landscape Architect, “He Has The Best Hedges.” 2017 Projections: 96/28/85/.298/3 in 610 ABs
7. Jonathan Villar – This is a new tier. This tier goes from here until Segura. I call this tier, “Go see what I said in the top 20 2nd basemen post.” As for Villar, already went over him in the top 20 2nd basemen for 2017 fantasy baseball.
8. Jean Segura – Already went over him in the top 20 2nd basemen for 2017 fantasy baseball.
9. Addison Russell – This is a new tier. This tier goes from here until Anderson. I call this tier, “Shortstops give me, like, five boners.” Okay, there’s a chance I draft a shortstop, MI that is a shortstop and then a utility man that’s a shortstop. Yes, three shortstops on one fantasy team. I will likely be remembered for SAGNOF or my handsome mustache, but I should be remembered for urging people to draft from strong positions, rather than conventional wisdom telling people to draft scarce positions. Drafting scarce positions is just about the stupidest fantasy advice. (Granted, I needed spellcheck to spell stupidest, so there’s that.) Do you draft a catcher who is good for 25 homers because the next catcher can only hit 15 or do you draft a 30/15 shortstop even though there’s five shortstops that can hit 30/15? You draft the shortstop, because if you’re the one schmohawk in your league without a good shortstop, you’re screwed six ways to Sunday, and, no, you can’t assume The Young Pope will be the one screwing you. If you draft a lousy catcher, then you and nine-tenths of the league have a terrible catcher. You can deal with that. As for Russell, already gave you my Addison Russell sleeper. Psyche! I should’ve, because I think he’s going to be huge value this year. I need to write like fifteen more sleeper posts (mostly pitchers), but I prolly won’t have time. To stick with only Cubs, I haven’t the foggiest why everyone wants Baez instead Russell. At the age of 22, Russell had 21 homers and five steals and plays every day. That’s right, this one is Addison, but that other one moonlights as a player. Do players suddenly peak at 22? Rhetorical! Of course, they don’t! He’s a 25-homer, 7-steal guy with a .255 average. With upside! “With upside” is my fortune cookie “in bed.” 2017 Projections: 77/25/92/.257/7 in 569 ABs
10. Marcus Semien – He doesn’t hit a ton of line drives. If you hear ‘Semien with the frozen rope,’ you’re more likely watching Eskimo porn than an A’s game. His HR/FB% was high for him, and the homers he did hit didn’t travel very far. Semien goes deep, but not far enough to, um, well… Sorry, pregnant pause. He’s still good for 25/10/.240 and that’s nothing to sneeze at, speaking of which, that’s Semien, not mucus. 2017 Projections: 70/25/78/.241/10 in 555 ABs
11. Jose Peraza – Already went over him in the top 20 2nd basemen for 2017 fantasy baseball.
12. Brad Miller – Already went over him in the top 20 1st basemen for 2017 fantasy baseball.
13. Tim Anderson – Already gave you my Tim Anderson sleeper. It was written in the back of my jeep while I swung an episode. 2017 Projections: 75/14/63/.277/25 in 603 ABs
14. Aledmys Diaz – This is a new tier. This tier goes from here until Alcides. I call this tier, “A case of the mehs.” My enthusiasm for shortstops fell off a big cliff after Anderson. Honestly, I can figure out a reason to like any of the guys in this tier. Andrus and Alcides are just steals, but they are steals, there’s a place for that on some teams and Diaz is young and looks like a .300 hitter, but if you’re getting an erection for longer than two minutes after drafting one of these guys, I’d call a doctor. Could you also please record your conversation? I’d love to hear it. “Yeah, so, I drafted Alcides Escobar and now I have an erection.” That’s you on the phone. As for Aledmys, meh. He has The Superfluous H breathing down his neck for playing time, and he reminds me a bit of Martin Prado. Call him Approximartin Prado. 2017 Projections: 83/18/70/.298/6 in 544 ABs
15. Elvis Andrus – If you can work up a ton of hate towards Andrus, you need a new hobby. Doode’s about as meh as they come. He’s mehrrific. 2017 Projections: 68/7/71/.286/25 in 511 ABs
16. Alcides Escobar – He’s the Royals’ Elvis. Yahoo Answers says that’s Cliff Richard. Hunh. 2017 Projections: 83/6/48/.268/21 in 591 ABs
17. Eduardo Nunez – This is a new tier. This tier goes from here until Gyorko. I call this tier, “Drinking the Haterade.” I just got done saying if you hate Andrus, you have too much time on your hands, but I got much hate for these next few guys. And I have a lot of time on my hands. With my mind on my money and my money on my mind. Nunez’s 1st half: 12 HRs, 22 SBs and .321. Nunez’s previous three years combined: 11 HRs, 27 SBs and .263. He had the 6th worst line drive rate in the major leagues last year, and the 21st highest ground ball rate. If he hits .265+ and 12 homers next year, it’s going to be with a high BABIP, a juiced ball and the Giants putting their fences on Segways so they move them in every time Nunez hits. 2017 Projections: 64/10/72/.259/30 in 518 ABs
18. Troy Tulowitzki – If you don’t know I hate Tulo, you’ve just started reading Razzball. Welcome, young, prematurely balding man! I prefer elastic waistband pants too! I agree, your wood-paneled, Mom’s basement looks comfy! No, you don’t need to fish out Doritos from between the cracks of your sofa on account of me! I brought my own. 2017 Projections: 62/22/74/.248/1 in 485 ABs
19. Javier Baez – Already went over him in the top 20 2nd basemen for 2017 fantasy baseball.
20. Jedd Gyorko – Already went over him in the top 20 1st basemen for 2017 fantasy baseball.
21. Orlando Arcia – This is a new tier. This tier goes from here until Owings. I call this tier, “Ostrich excitement.” By the tier name I mean, these players are easy to get excited about on the surface, but if you pull your head out of the sand, you realize you’re likely going to pick up and drop all of them multiple times in shallower leagues and they will go through growing pains. RIP Alan Thicke. As for Arcia, he’s currently penciled into the two hole and should play every day. *head out of sand* Brewers have a few options for shortstop, and Arcia is a tough month of March away from starting the year in the minors. 2017 Projections: 69/9/51/.261/21 in 509 ABs
22. Dansby Swanson – I already gave you my Dansby Swanson fantasy. It was written while I was dabbing. 2017 Projections: 71/9/44/.267/19 in 556 ABs
23. Didi Gregorius – Last year, The Gregorius D.I.D. went 20/7/.276. That’s close to a top 15 shortstop. I see some shortstops tonight that should be having my baby, bay-bee. *head out of sand* If he has modest declines, it becomes 16/5/.260, which is a barely top 25 shortstop with no heat, no wonder why Christmas missed us. 2017 Projections: 63/15/71/.268/7 in 550 ABs
24. Jorge Polanco – He’s batting 2nd! He stole 18 bases in Double-A in only three-quarters of a season! *head out of sand* It’s batting 2nd for the Twins and Eduardo Escobar could steal at least twenty games at short. Polanco stole 18 bases while being caught ten times in Double-A. In Double-A, they don’t even throw to second on steal attempts, they simply start a stopwatch, wait to see if the runner gets to second in ten seconds, then call out the baserunner if he’s not there yet. 2017 Projections: 69/10/44/.286/8 in 518 ABs
25. Chris Owings – I see 12-homer power in Triple-A and 21 steals last year, and I get all jacked up for Owings! *head out of sand* He’s batting eighth, never walks and has a total of 15 homers in 377 major leagues games. 2017 Projections: 58/8/61/.255/.251/18 in 489 ABs
26. Asdrubal Cabrera – This is a new tier. This tier goes from here until Espinosa. I call this tier, “You get what you pay for. So, hey, at least you didn’t pay much!” In 2011, Asdrubal hit 25 homers. Then he didn’t look good for four years. In 2016, he hit 23 homers. Early dibs on drafting Asdrubal in 2021! 2017 Projections: 61/17/64/.259/6 in 508 ABs
27. Brandon Crawford – I will say that Crawford is a fine real world player, which sounds like a compliment, but that’s the biggest slap in the face from a fantasy baseball person. You’re good in the real world is like, “Yeah, she’s got a good personality.” 2017 Projections: 70/15/81/.271/7 in 523 ABs
28. Matt Duffy – I struggled with who I wanted to rank first, Cozart or Duffy. By struggled I mean, I sneezed and more spray landed on Duffy’s name, so he won. 2017 Projections: 62/9/68/.264/10 in 517 ABs
29. Zack Cozart – The Reds are a good illustration of my point in Addison Russell’s blurb. Stock up on mediocre middle infielders and your team is not going to be good. (Though, the Reds also have a poor pitching staff, weak catcher, pretty bleh outfield and their closer was a starter last year this time.) 2017 Projections: 71/17/54/.258/5 in 487 ABs
30. Danny Espinosa – Already went over him in the top 20 2nd basemen for 2017 fantasy baseball.
31. J.P. Crawford – This is a new tier. This tier goes from here until Saladino. I call this tier, “Appreciate the upside gamble, no relation to Rudy Gamble.” In redraft leagues, you might not get anything from any of these players in April. Dot dot dot. Or May. Dot dot dot. Or all season, but a flyer on upside isn’t so bad when you can just grab a guy like Galvis, Cozart, etc. off waivers. In deeper leagues, I’d go with the next tier before this one, because you need ABs. As for Crawford, I already gave you my J.P. Crawford fantasy. It was written while leaving a voicemail about how you look like A.C. Green. 2017 Projections: 28/3/16/.261/7 in 220 ABs
32. Jose Reyes – Mets said they will try Reyes in the outfield in the spring to see if they can get him in the lineup more. They said they’re optimistic because he’s good with his hands. His wife never said that about him. 2017 Projections: 51/10/29/.271/17 in 374 ABs
33. Tyler Saladino – Already went over him in the top 20 2nd basemen for 2017 fantasy baseball.
34. Freddy Galvis – This is a new tier. This tier goes from here until the end of the list. I call this tier, “That these guys have starting jobs makes every ‘Dennis Quaid has a dream to play major league baseball at the age of 56’ movie feel realistic.” By the tier name I mean, these guys have no business having a starting job, and, if there’s any justice, they won’t by the end of the year. As for Galvis, when kids talk about the juiced ball era of 2016, they’re going to say, “Freddy Galvis had 20 homers and 17 steals.” Those kids won’t have friends. 2017 Projections: 37/7/44/.229/9 in 340 ABs
35. Jurickson Profar – Already went over him in the top 20 1st basemen for 2017 fantasy baseball.
36. Jose Iglesias – Some defensive specialists in this tier, so if you play in a league with defensive metrics, please, get out of that league. The errors category is lame. 2017 Projections: 55/5/44/.266/9 in 502 ABs
37. Andrelton Simmons – When you hear someone say, “Andrelton Simmons is out of this world,” they’re referring to his resemblance to an alien, not his extraordinary bat. And Andrelton’s WAR is referring to his personal fight to get everyone to drink with their index finger. 2017 Projections: 54/7/59/.262/7 in 527 ABs
38. Luis Sardinas – Sardinas packs steals tightly into his statline like… Hmm, I can’t think of anything that is packed tightly that would make sense for Sardinas. 2017 Projections: 40/3/37/.235/14 in 475 ABs
39. Nick Ahmed – I’m seeing conflicting reports on who will be the Diamondbacks’ starting shortstop. Some sources say Owings, some sources say Ahmed, some sources say Ketel Marte will take over at some point, some sources say Licensed to Ill is a five-mic album, but I’ve never been a fan of the Beasties. I mean, Paul Revere is a’ight and but I can’t listen to their albums all the way through. 2017 Projections: 51/8/44/.229/10 in 440 ABs
40. Jordy Mercer – If Jordy, full name Jordache, doesn’t dress up every Halloween with a horse’s head like the Jordache logo, then opportunity lost! 2017 Projections: 57/10/54/.246/2 in 508 ABs
41. Adeiny Hechavarria – In a full season last year, he hit 3 homers and stole one base while batting .236. He is a Hechavarria terrible player! 2017 Projections: 51/5/49/.255/3 in 512 ABs
42. J.J. Hardy – Here’s a Hardy Boy mystery for you: why don’t the Orioles replace Hardy? It’s a solid story, if you can ignore the obvious ripoffs like when Hardy moves in with Alfredo Gryffindor. 2017 Projections: 48/7/52/.249 in 502 ABs
