In order to be competitive, the Marlins would need All-Stars at every position all farmed from their minor league system.  Sorta like what the Cubs have managed to do.  Not impossible, but that’s what it would take for the Marlins because they are cheap AF.  By the way, AF is my favorite acronym.  Props to whoever first started using it.  Feels like it started on Twitter because of the character limit.  Keeps shizz short and simple AF, kinda like me (short and simple).  Any the hoo!  I was saying the Marlins need to be precise AF (I’m overusing it now) with their minor league system like they were with Jose Fernandez.  He’s AF as AF comes.  His nickname should no longer be Jo-Fer but AF.  Or maybe AF-Fer.  Nah, that looks like a trade union.  A-Fer?  That looks like algebra.  Fernandez should own Abercrombie & Fitch he’s so AF.  Yesterday, Jose Fernandez went 8 IP, 0 ER, 3 hits, zero walks and 12 Ks.  He has 253 Ks in 182 1/3 innings.  Seriously, digest that for a second.  WTF AF?!  Of course, I wish the Marlins would shut him down until 2017, but I have no chance of owning him next year.  Not that I don’t love him.  He’s the best pitcher in the game if I’m building a dynasty league.  Yeah, I said it.  I want him over Kershaw.  Kershaw has been durable up until this year, but all pitchers are durable up until the point when they’re not.  At one point, Jake Peavy was durable AF, too.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Giancarlo Stanton – 1-for-2 and his 27th homer.  23 more to go!  C’mon, ya gotta believe, Tug McGraw!

Bryce Harper – 0-for-4, hitting .240.  Tom Verducci said Harper is still dealing with shoulder discomfort.  Verducci said it was from Harper throwing 35 innings more than his previous season.

Tanner Roark – 7 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners, 5 Ks, ERA at 2.70.  Sadly, he ran up against the Jo-Fer buzzsaw.  Sawbuzz?  Sawdust?  I am the least tool-using man you will ever find.  No scout would ever say I was toolsy.

Wilmer Flores – Received a 2nd cortisone shot.  He took it like a man.  A man that just found out his mom threw away his baseball card collection.

Jacob deGrom – Will have season-ending surgery  Don’t worry, Mets fans, you have Tim Tebow.  Obviously, not that he would replace deGrom, but he has a special relationship with the Lord and can pray deGrom back to health for next year.

Robert Gsellman – 5 1/3 IP, 2 ER, 7 baserunners, 6 Ks, ERA at 3.13.  The Mets might be the only team whose Triple-A minor league pitchers in the PCL have a tougher environment than their major league division.

Julio Teheran – 7 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners, 1 K, ERA at 3.10.  Better enjoy your last two starts, Teheran, before Trump builds a wall around you!

Adonis Garcia – 3-for-5, 2 runs, 3 RBIs and his 14th homer, hitting .273.  He’s like the Latin David Freese.  I will call him Adonis Frio.  Frio has been cold (hehe) recently, but might be starting up his schmotato.

Ender Inciarte – 3-for-4, 2 runs, hitting .297.  I dropped him last week in one league because I needed power, but Ender is still hitting near-.360 in the 2nd half, and getting runs (which I kinda need too, but you gotta pick your poisons — hmm, I think I’ll try arsenic).

Ian Kinsler – Sat out with concussion-like symptoms.  His mother spent twenty minutes with his doctor until finally the doctor said, “No, chicken soup will not help.”

Victor Martinez – Out with a swollen knee.  Gotta go easy on the salt, V-Mart, you’re getting older now.  This was brought to you by Nu-Salt, your number one salt substitute that I want to advertise on our podcast.

Nick Castellanos – Still has discomfort in his hand.  Sounds like he’s going to be shut down.  Castellanos, we’ll always have April and May when I kept pointing out you were a sleeper of mine vs. June and July when I stopped talking about it.

Matt Boyd – 8 IP, 1 ER, 4 baserunners, 7 Ks, ERA at 4.16.  Apparently, you should’ve trusted him.  He had a 3 2/3 IP, 7 ER game last time out against the same team (Twins).  So, you could’ve started him yesterday, but it would’ve been coin flip.  Look at me assuaging you.  I’m a mothereffing assuager!

Miguel Cabrera – 2-for-5, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 34th homer, hitting .310.  He’s great, love Miggy, but he didn’t solve the case of JonBenet Ramsey, did he?!  Needed CBS for that!

Miguel Sano – Remained sidelined.  Twins are so stacked they had Kurt Suzuki at DH.  It’s not great when Madison Bumgarner would be an improvement on your DH.

Robbie Grossman – 1-for-3 and his 11th homer, and went 4-for-4 in his previous game.  I’m not going to flatter myself by pretending I can convince you to pick up a guy who is synonymous with vomit.  Literally.

Eddie Rosario – Shut down with a thumb fracture.  His doctor originally thought Rosario was imitating the Fonz, but the “Ayyyyyyy….” was followed by wailing.

Nomar Mazara – 2-for-3, 2 RBIs and his 20th homer, and 2nd day in a row with a homer.  Hot schmotato alert!

Carlos Gomez – 3-for-5, 2 runs, hitting near-.350 in the last week with four homers in the last ten games.  Don’t worry, I won’t let you draft him next year, no matter what he does these final two weeks, but that doesn’t mean you can’t grab him now.

Jon Lester – 7 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners, 5 Ks, ERA at 2.36.  Still, only the Cubs’ 2nd best starter.  Get in line behind Hendricks!

David Ortiz – 2-for-5, 3 RBIs and his 36th homer.  I know it feels like you’ve made your bed.  You’ve accepted gifts and you’re not trying to Favre up your legacy, but you can’t retire when you have 36 HRs and a .318 average.  You just can’t.  Not even saying this as a fanboy.  I’m saying this as someone with common sense.

Jackie Bradley Jr. – 2-for-4 and his 26th homer.  “How much power has there been this season?” you ask with those sad eyes.  So much power Jackie Bradley Jr. has 26 homers and he hasn’t been hot in three months.

Eduardo Rodriguez – 6 1/3 IP, 2 ER, 5 baserunners, 7 Ks, ERA at 4.84.  Stream-o-Nator is just above sea level on his next start, and I could see it going either way, which means I don’t fully trust him.

Kevin Gausman – 6 1/3 IP, 5 ER, ERA up to 3.57.  When the season ends, I’m gonna have Gausman and Taijuan Walker stay after to explain to me why I should draft them next year.

Chris Davis – 1-for-4 as he batted 2nd, hitting .221.  Member the days when managers moved struggling hitters down in the order?  Seems like such a simpler time.  The Ghost of Earl Weaver be like, “Whaaaaa?”

James Shields – 5 1/3 IP, 6 ER, ERA at 5.98.  His last starts are going to decide if he gets a piece of history with a full season of starts and a 6.00+ ERA.  If you click on Shields’ name, you’ll see past articles where I laid out how rare it is.  Clickbait or just too lazy to copy and paste it myself?  You make the call!

Odubel Herrera – 3-for-4, 2 runs, 3 RBIs and a slam (15) and double legs (23, 24), hitting .288.  ODB is on waivers in my RCL, which makes no sense to me, and, by this time tomorrow I could have him.  C’mon, lucky 10th waiver claim!  He homered two days in a row, is hitting near-.500 in the last week and ODB is hot like fire.

Jeanmar Gomez – 2/3 IP, 3 ER, ERA at 4.03, as he limps to the finish line like Mary Decker.  In Jeanmar’s defense, MLB Players’ Union should strike until managers agree to not use closers in non-save situations.  Phils’ manager, Pete Macktheknife says he might change closers.  I think Pete might be thinking we’re in June.  I guess if you’re as desperate as the Phils, you can grab Hector Neris.

Roman Quinn – 2-for-4, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 2nd steal.  SAGNOF is as SAGNOF does.

Michael Pineda – 5 1/3 IP, 2 ER, 6 baserunners, 11 Ks, ERA at 4.89.  “I told you so!”  Oh, shut up, Stream-o-Nator.

Gary Sanchez – 1-for-3, 3 RBIs and his 17th homer.  This was his 3rd straight game with a homer.  Somewhere, Kevin Maas is looking up from a plate of twice-stuffed potato skins, smiling.  Until a Bennigan’s customer screams, “Are you going to give me those potato skins, you smiling idiot?!”

Mark Teixeira – 1-for-4 and his 13th homer, hitting .198.  Big Papi, Mr. Ortiz, if I may, do you see Teixeira’s year?  This is when you retire.

Drew Smyly – 6 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners, 3 Ks, ERA at 4.86.  I nearly streamed him, but I don’t have enough starts left on the team where I can stream, so I dropped him minutes before the game.  See, I went a little too streamer crazy in August.  Well, enough about me!  What do you think of me?

Alex Wood – Was activated and moved to the bullpen.  In a corresponding move, the Dodgers designated for assignment Bud Norris.  Chuck Norris can’t even with Bud.

Johnny Cueto – 5 1/3 IP, 0 ER, 10 baserunners, 6 Ks, ERA at 2.79, but left the game with a left groin strain that could end his season.  His right groin said, “This whole time I thought I was the left groin.  Stupid mirror reflection!”

Eduardo Nunez – 2-for-4 and his 16th homer, after being moved to the leadoff slot two days ago, hitting over.350 in the last week.  Nunez has been a bit disappointing on the Giants, but he’s come alive recently, rising like the legend of the phoenix, we’re up all night to get lucky, Daft Punk.

Brandon Belt – 2-for-4 and his 16th homer.  16 homers in 2o16 is 9 homers in 2015.  Cust kayin’.

Sergio Romo – 1 IP, 0 ER and his 1st save.  Hey, look at that!  Bochy finally figured out who his 2nd best reliever is.  It only took a week, but who’s counting (besides me)?  If you need saves, Romo could run with the job, for the next ten days.  Okay, so more like a 5K than full on marathon.

Jedd Gyorko – 2-for-4, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 27th homer.  Not a misprint.  This isn’t even print.  It’s all ones and zeros.

Randal Grichuk – 3-for-4, 4 runs, 1 RBI.  *holding index card to head*  Corey Dickerson last year in Coors.  *turns index card over*  What Grichuk would do if he was a Rockie.  That’s my Carnac impersonation.

Charlie Blackmon – 1-for-3, 2 runs and his 28th homer.  Um, power is so out of control this year, Chazz Noir is a 17-homer hitter.  Our Commissioner Manfred, take the Capri Sun juice straw out of the baseballs!

Sean Manaea – 6 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunners, 7 Ks, ERA at 4.03, but he’s much better at home, because he’s a mediaOAKer, and he’s home again in his next start.  Plus, he’s Samoan, and it’s not the time of year he needs to be selling Girl Scout cookies, so he can focus on baseball.

Joe Musgrove – 5 1/3 IP, 1 ER, 5 baserunners, 4 Ks, ERA at 4.42.  Do you think he heard ‘Where?’ a lot after he told people his name?  “You must go…where?  Tell me!”

Paul Goldschmidt – 2-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 21st homer.  Au Shizz!  Only six more homers to match Gyorko.

Adam Rosales – 1-for-2, 4 RBIs and his 11th homer, and 2nd homer in the last three games.  Okay, schmotato, but I’d have to be desperate to be slumming it with a Padres hitter.

Hisashi Iwakuma – 3 1/3 IP, 5 ER, ERA at 4.04.  Something that no one besides me seems to be talking about, but the Dodgers vetoed a deal for Hisashi due to an injury, then the Mariners re-signed him (or resigned, as the case may be here).  What is wrong with Hisashi?  This sounds like a young adult novel.

Edwin Encarnacion – 2-for-5, 3 RBIs and his 42nd homer.  Also, in this game, Russell Martin (1-for-4, 2 RBIs) hit his 20th homer, Michael Saunders (1-for-4, 2 RBIs) hit his 24th homer, and Josh Donaldson (1-for-4, 2 runs) hit his 35th homer.  Sometime during the 7th inning when the game was out of reach, the Jays removed a bunch of their hitters.  At the same time, Dwayne Murphy walked out of the stadium.  Suddenly, he stopped limping, chuckled to himself and *poof* was gone.

Ryan Braun – Out on paternity leave.  The wife is having a baby boy.  I know that because Braun registered the baby at Affliction and Ed Hardy for kids.

Starling Marte – Went through a full workout yesterday.  As I said on the podcast yesterday, Marte could return, but at what?  50%?  You can find someone on waivers who is hitting at 100% that is better.

Adam Frazier – 3-for-5, 2 runs, hitting .351, as he hits leadoff.  I wanna say giddy up and other foxy words you reserve for your wife when she’s in chaps, but if Marte returns, Frazier might sit.  So, yes, I like Frazier, but you have to make sure he’s playing.

Edinson Volquez – 6 2/3 IP, 1 ER, 7 baserunners, 5 Ks, ERA at 5.25 with a 1.51 WHIP.  Not that he was ever great, but this is Game 1 starter of last year’s World Series.

Josh Tomlin – 6 2/3 IP, 1 ER, 5 baserunners, 3 Ks, ERA at 4.61.  I told you to stream him in this start, because I’m psychic.  Sorry about your cat.  Oh, wait, that hasn’t happened yet.

Andrew Miller – 1 2/3 IP, 0 ER, ERA at 1.55, moved his record to 9-1.  He lost the closer job.  Just try to wrap your noodle around that.  He lost the closer job.

Carlos Santana – 1-for-4 and his 33rd homer.  Santana hitting leadoff for the better part of the year and Miller not being the closer could have the same reasoning.  Francona likes close games.

Danny Salazar – Played catch on Tuesday.  How sweet.  I hope Cat’s in the Cradle was playing and Mason Reese was crying nearby.

T.J. House – Designated for assignment.  Only two people I can think that can get this House back to where he needs to be…The Property Brothers!

 
  1. Ante GALIC says:
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    Grey!

    Scintillating! I looked it up to be a ‘little’ different today.

    a. Need help. Start 1 at 1B.

    1. Myers at home vs. AZ (Greinke)
    2. Gyorko @COL vs. Marquez

    b. Start 1 at 2B

    1. Gyorko @COL vs. Marquez
    2. Kipnis at home vs. KC (Kennedy)
    3. Owings @SD vs. Perdomo
    4. Drury @SD vs. Perdomo

    d. Start 1 at 3B

    1. Healy at home vs. HOU (Healy)
    2. Donaldson @SEA vs. Hernandez
    3. Drury @SD vs. Perdomo
    4. Nunez @LAD vs. Maeda
    5. Beltre at home vs. LAA (Weaver)
    6. Gyorko @COL vs. Marquez

    e. Start 1 at SS

    1. Owings @SD vs. Perdomo
    2. Gyorko @COL vs. Marquez
    3. Nunez @LAD vs. Maeda

    f. Start 1 at MI

    1. Owings @SD vs. Perdomo
    2. Gyorko @COL vs. Marquez
    3. Nunez @LAD vs. Maeda
    4. Drury @SD vs. Perdomo

    g. Start at 1B/3B

    1. Myers at home vs. AZ (Greinke)
    2. Gyorko @COL vs. Marquez
    3. Healy at home vs. HOU (Healy)
    4. Donaldson @SEA vs. Hernandez
    5. Drury @SD vs. Perdomo
    6. Nunez @LAD vs. Maeda
    7. Beltre at home vs. LAA (Weaver)

    h. Start 5 OF

    1. JBJ @BAL vs. Jimenez
    2. Dyson @CLE vs. Kluber
    3. Grandy at home vs. ATL (Weber)
    4. Almonte at home vs. KC (Kennedy)
    5. Grichuk @COL (Marquez)
    6. Fowler at home vs. CIN (Stephenson)
    7. Duvall @CHC (Lackey)
    8. Schebler @CHC (Lackey)

    i. Horatio Caine (aka CSI Miami) quote of the day (September 21)

    Sheriff of La Cancion: Geraldo! Geraldo! Geraldo! I can’t get it out of my head.
    Passerby: Sorry for your loss.
    Sheriff of La Cancion: I grabbed my brother, Carlos. We drove straight to the airport. We were gone before they knew to look for us.
    Sheriff of La Cancion: After years patrolling the streets, I was the new sheriff in La Cancion. I talked so big. I made myself a target, and Geraldo paid with his life. Can your lab run forensics on it? Who do you think called for the hit?
    Horatio: The man who killed your wife, Memmo Fierro.
    Sheriff of La Cancion: Memmo is in jail.
    Horatio: My intel says he’s still calling the shots for Mala Noche, from here, in Miami.
    Sheriff of La Cancion: How do you know that?
    Horatio: A few weeks ago, I put his number two in prison in La Cancion. This is his payback.
    Sheriff of La Cancion: I got nothing for you.
    Horatio: Your daughter does.
    Sheriff of La Cancion: What does that mean? Horatio, is she okay?
    Horatio: That’s up to you. Be a shame if the state had to take back custody from her mother.
    Sheriff of La Cancion: That sounds like a threat, man.
    Horatio: The Torres family, Memmo– did you order that hit?
    Sheriff of La Cancion: The order came from a Mala Noche chief in Mexico.
    Horatio: How long ago?
    Sheriff of La Cancion: Eight months ago. That girl– she’s been putting Mala Noche soldiers away. She has shamed them. She won’t get away with it. He assigned El Asesino.
    Horatio: El Asesino– who’s that?
    Sheriff of La Cancion: Deadliest hit man in Mexico. He likes to kill up close and personal. He won’t stop till she’s dead.
    Horatio: What’s his real name?
    Sheriff of La Cancion: Only his victims know, and they ain’t talking.
    Horatio: So you’ll get it for me.
    Sheriff of La Cancion: You’re asking me to betray Mala Noche.
    Horatio: I’m asking you to earn some of that grace you’ve gotten.
    Sheriff of La Cancion: Hit me. Hard. They can’t know I told you anything.
    Mala Noche Gang Member: Yo, homie, what’d you hit him for? That’s police brutality! Damn, you been holding on to that for a while, huh?
    Horatio: I want that name.
    Mala Noche Gang Member: Ese, esta bien?
    Sheriff of La Cancion: Yeah!

    Cheers,
    Ante

    • apox says:
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      @Ante GALIC: holy crap. someone’s in a H2H championship week.

    • 'Malicious Phenoms says:
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      @Ante GALIC: I’d start Gyorko everywhere, he’s in Coors and will get to bat the whole game…Get out the clone machine and get busy..hehe..

    • Ante GALIC says:
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      @Ante GALIC: Grey!

      Sorry, forgot to mention that it’s 12-team roto, ESPN RCL in that RCL!

      Cheers,
      Ante

    • Swfcdan says:
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      @Ante GALIC: Gotta be able to work out most of your lineup man. Grey ain’t a slave!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Ante GALIC: A. Gyorko B. Drury D. Donaldson E. Nunez F. Owings G. Healy H. 1. JBJ @BAL vs. Jimenez
      2. Dyson @CLE vs. Kluber
      3. Grandy at home vs. ATL (Weber)
      Grichuk, Fowler

      I. Nice!

      • Ante GALIC says:
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        @Grey: Grey!

        Thanks a million. Am in 2nd with 95.5 pts in the one RCL I’m in, chasing 1st place with 100.5! Made up 2.5 yesterday.

        The questions above was for tonight only! Tomorrow will be another day, with not many games being played!

        Cheers,
        Ante

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          Win it, Ante!

          • Ante GALIC says:
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            @Grey: Grey!!!

            Thanks. Will do my best or you will do my best!

            Btw, Rambo Quadrilogy (1982 – 2008) downloaded and ready for next year.

            Cheers,
            Ante

            • Grey

              Grey says:
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              I’ve never seen one Rambo

              • Ante GALIC says:
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                @Grey: Grey!

                If you like that type of movie, it’s not bad. That’s not a ringing endorsement, is it? But his quotes from the movies are classic. No spoiler alerts allowed ’cause it’ll be difficult to find 150 quotes for next year. They’ll be quotes with no foreplay ’cause John Rambo is no Poet Laureate like y’all.

                Cheers,
                Ante

                • Grey

                  Grey says:
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                  Oh I can’t wait even if I’ve never seen them… I never saw CSI either

                  • Ante GALIC says:
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                    @Grey: Grey!

                    I have to give you one spoiler alert just to tease you.

                    Russian tank operator: ‘Who is this?’ (said with a Russian accent)

                    John Rambo: ‘Your worst nightmare!’

                    Cheers,
                    Ante

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
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                      HA! I love it

              • Scott says:
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                @Grey: They’re on the shelf next to the 5th Element.

                • Grey

                  Grey says:
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                  Haha

  2. eric says:
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    Any SPs owned in less than 40% of leagues recommended to pick up for play-offs?

    • 'Malicious Phenoms says:
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      @eric: Only you know the answer to that question…Go to your free agent SP’s and see what is available..

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @eric: No one knows what’s on your waivers

  3. VinWins

    VinWins says:
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    You had 29 wins, 284 Ks and a 2.98 ERA in 49 August starts. You think you could have done better in September?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @VinWins: Ha, thanks, Vin! Yeah, I only wish I could still be streaming…

      • VinWins

        VinWins says:
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        @Grey: Love to see what you could have done with a draft like this, where I didn’t take a starter until the 17th.

        Nolan Arenado, Col 3B
        Chris Davis, Bal 1B
        Joey Votto, Cin 1B
        Yoenis Cespedes, NYM OF
        Albert Pujols, LAA 1B
        Corey Seager, LAD SS
        Rougned Odor, Tex 2B
        Ken Giles, Hou RP
        Corey Dickerson, TB OF
        Francisco Rodriguez, Det RP
        Brett Lawrie*, CWS 3B
        Brad Ziegler, Bos RP
        Dellin Betances, NYY RP
        Stephen Piscotty, StL OF
        Ben Zobrist, ChC 2B
        Ender Inciarte, Atl OF
        Patrick Corbin, Ari SP
        Jason Grilli, Tor RP
        James Shields, CWS SP
        Lance McCullers*, Hou SP
        Jumbo Diaz, Cin RP
        Juan Nicasio, Pit RP
        Matt Holliday*, StL OF
        Mychal Givens, Bal RP
        Nick Hundley, Col C

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          Davis was a killer this year b/c you can’t drop him and he anchors your average so terribly… How is this team doing?

          • VinWins

            VinWins says:
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            @Grey: 2nd place, still a chance to move up. I’ve used 139 starts, so can gain in Ks. Just have to worry about hurting my ERA (12 pts). Only scoring 2 in WHIP.

            My first 7 picks all have at least 25 HRs, and scoring 8 in Average.

            • Grey

              Grey says:
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              You have a 12 in ERA? On all streaming?

              • VinWins

                VinWins says:
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                @Grey: Well, I kept some that I picked up, Roark, Shoemaker, and Fulmer. Plus 76 innings from McCullers when he came off the DL.

                • Grey

                  Grey says:
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                  Nice work!

                  • VinWins

                    VinWins says:
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                    @Grey: Thanks! I always use your top 300 as a guide, so nice work to you!

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
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                      We’re having a real love fest! I’d hug the stuffing out of you!

  4. Yr never too old for balloons says:
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    which 1 out of these today is the bench? OPS/slugging/total bases
    adonis @ fatolo (1.7)
    healy vs mchugh (-7.5), but he’s been massively outplaying this for a while
    schoop vs buchholz (6.1)

  5. The tone ranger says:
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    We trusting mchugh today @oak??

  6. Rabbit says:
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    Does anyone have any info about whether Billy Hamilton is coming back this season? The championship in my keeper league looks like it is going to come down to SBs–for me (in second place by 1 point) and the guy in first, our places in the other nine cats are pretty well fixed, and I am behind him by 2 SBs (I was ahead of him by 1 SB until last night). Anticipating this, about a month ago I traded a fairly good keeper for Billy Hamilton, who is now sitting on the DL on my bench. I know that with the Reds going nowhere the likely scenario is that they rest him the remainder of the season, but I keep hoping that they’ll bring him back to get a few more SBs. Anyone heard anything on this?

    • Malicious Phenoms says:
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      @Rabbit: Billy Hamilton: The DL move is retroactive to Sept. 5 and does not impact a potential return date for Hamilton, as he was not expected to return from his strained oblique until sometime next week at the earliest.

      Not sure if this will help, but it is all I could find.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Rabbit: Haven’t heard anything

  7. Dom says:
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    You trusting Luke Weaver in COL today or nah

    • Rufus T. Firefly says:
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      @Dom: Same question….I’m leaning towards no.

    • knucks says:
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      @Dom: A rookie @ Coors? You can try it, but I would never trust it. Best of luck either way!

    • Step Outside You Nazis Cow says:
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      @Dom: well he just got rocked in SF, so probably.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Dom: Nope

  8. Five-On-One says:
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    Hi all – looking for any intel on whether Castro, V-Mart and Fulmer will play this week. Weekly deadlines set today. If these guys aren’t going to play, I don’t want them in my line-up.

    • Malicious Phenoms says:
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      @Five-On-One: Fulmer is scheduled to pitch @home v KC on the 24th…Castro, on the Yankees game last night, is said to be out for the year..not sure on V mart, listed as day to day..I would leave in Fulmer in and bench the other two.

  9. Five-On-One says:
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    Looking to start three of the following:

    Gsellman vPHI ($13.2)
    Fulmer vKC ($11.6) (but will he actually start?)
    Joe Ross @PIT ($6.4) (can he go 5 innings yet?)
    Rodon @CLE ($3.5) (blech)
    Ed-Rod @TB ($1.7)
    Ray @BAL (-$0.6)
    Gio Gonz @PIT (-$5.2) (why so low?)

    All thoughts are welcome. Not sure why SON likes Ross @PIT, but not Gio @PIT.

    • FKA Ralph says:
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      @Five-On-One: Fulmer has Minnesota, it KC. I’d lean Gsellman, Rodon, and Ross.

      • FKA Ralph says:
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        @FKA Ralph: *not KC

        • Five-On-One says:
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          @FKA Ralph: SON, MP and ESPN all have Fulmer listed as starting Friday against KC. Why do you think Minn?

          • FKA Ralph says:
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            @Five-On-One: yahoo. It’s on Fulmer says Thursday against Minnesota. Yahoo is obviously not infallible, so could be erroneous.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Five-On-One: Gsellman vPHI ($13.2)
      Fulmer vKC ($11.6), Ed-Rod

  10. Mickey Tettleton says:
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    Hey Grey, just wanted to throw Jedd M.F. Gyorko some love and tip folks off to some exciting history that he’s on the verge of making: After his dinger last night, he has 27 hr and only 54 rbi. Only two other people have 25+ hr and only twice as many rbi in the history of baseball: Rob Deer in 1992 with 32 hr and 64 rbi and Barry Bonds in 2003 with 45 hr and 90 rbi.

    If that doesn’t make the end of the season exciting to watch, I don’t know what else will. I’m certainly rooting for him to join such elite company.

  11. The JoGarza says:
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    Hey Grey,

    Any world in which you’re starting Brett Anderson vat home v. COL? He had 5 IP, 5 Ks in his most recent rehab start.

    And later in the week, we trusting Brock Stewart to take the same assignment?

    SON loves both starts, FWIWerth.

  12. Papa Jean Seugra says:
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    Who’s the best streaming option tomorrow? Cessa @ TB, Chatwood @ LAD, Brock Stewart vs. COL, Snell vs. NYY, Urena vs. ATL, or any other suggestions that you know of?

    • The JoGarza says:
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      @Papa Jean Seugra:

      Slight correction. It will be Brett Anderson pitching tomorrow for LAD.

  13. Odor's Odor-izzi spray says:
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    Was in first place in my H2H league the final 3/4 of the year and got knocked out of the playoffs last week by someone who held and started James Shields (who somehow logged a QS), but am still reading the column anyway. Denial? Yea, probably. But that Mason Reese reference just made it all worth it

  14. Steve says:
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    Please rank position players for tonight:

    Bryce Harper vs Tom Koehler in Miami
    Brad Miller vs Tanaka in NY
    Kevin Kiermaier vs Tanaka in NY
    Gregory Polanco vs Jimmy Nelson in Milwaukee
    Ryon Healy vs Colin Mchugh in OAK
    Stephen Vogt vs Colin Mchugh in OAK
    Stephen piscotty @ col

    Harper has been awful, but faces Koehler who he hits well…

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Steve: Polanco, Piscotty, Healy, Harper

  15. Dr. Kenneth Noisewater says:
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    I forgot I recorded the Jon Benet special. Was it any good?

      • Dr. Kenneth Noisewater says:
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        @Malicious Phenoms: In the library with a candlestick?

      • Dr. Kenneth Noisewater says:
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        @Grey: Add it to my ever growing list of shit I’m too lazy to watch because apparently I was a bladesmith in my former life and watch Forged in Fire on History religiously. Seriously, no clue why I like that show. Have seen every episode. My dainty and delicate hand would shatter if I hit steel with a hammer.

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          @Dr. Kenneth Noisewater: You like ridunk documentaries, I’d put this in that category… Not as good as Vivian Maier, but worth checking out

          • Dr. Kenneth Noisewater says:
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            @Grey: Yeah I’ll check it out. I watched one of those Vice Essentials about the Westboro Baptist Church and it made me want to punch everyone.

            • Grey

              Grey says:
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              Haha… I watched Omar in Black Market for underground gambling, and it made me want to play poker…Wasn’t as fear-inducing as others

              • Dr. Kenneth Noisewater says:
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                @Grey: Omar was feeling that poker game they went to. Wanted to see him make it rain in the back corner.

                • Grey

                  Grey says:
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                  The guy that was addicted to gambling was sad…but a part of me was like, “You can get even still!”

                  • Dr. Kenneth Noisewater says:
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                    @Grey: “I bet people like your story, double or nothing…”

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
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                      HA! Gambling addict, “I bet you cut out my segment.” Three months later, “Damn!”

        • The Hack says:
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          @Dr. Kenneth Noisewater: it’s a sign you need to go to welding school. That shit is fun. We did a lot of work when I took body shop in JC..

          • Dr. Kenneth Noisewater says:
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            @The Hack: I work for an engine company and I am the most out of place employee for what I do. That manly car, metal, fixing stuff gene missed me.

            • Grey

              Grey says:
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              That shizz missed me too

            • The Hack says:
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              @Dr. Kenneth Noisewater: what kind of engine company? I’m a car guy first and foremost. Car shows and the car auctions on TV are my kryptonite.

              • Dr. Kenneth Noisewater says:
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                @The Hack: I do watch the Barret-Jackson car auctions, lived with my brother for years and he’s a car guy. I work for a diesel engine company.

                • The Hack says:
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                  @Dr. Kenneth Noisewater: lobe meecum and barret jackson auctions. Respect your bro!. Diesel was the one class I never took. And I should of since I grew up around the big rigs because my mom worked for truckershaw since I was 5. Seriously that’s rad. I kick myself front getting into diesels back then.

            • The Hack says:
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              @Dr. Kenneth Noisewater: I can yank a motor out of a car, take it apart, machine it, put it back together, and make it run….cause I’ve done it a few times. One of my first real jobs post high school was as a mechanic. I’d make cars appear to run well for a used car lot and do brake jobs and tune ups all day

              • Dr. Kenneth Noisewater says:
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                @The Hack: Wish I could do a portion of that to at least save myself some coin.

                • The Hack says:
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                  @Dr. Kenneth Noisewater: it’s easy. My dad just threw a manual at me and said figure it out. He helped sometimes but for the most part I was self taught

  16. Big W says:
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    Morning!

    I thought for sure you would have some fun with Braun’s baby boy ‘s name this morning… Greyson Joseph Braun, haha

    • Malicious Phenoms says:
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      @Big W: It would have been much easier if they had a girl, Eva Braun.