*life flashing before eyes right before death* Wow, that’s a lot times I picked up and dropped Chase Anderson. Is it weird I can understand where Mike Tyson was coming from when he said he wanted to eat Lennox Lewis’ children? Some of these players — Sonny Gray, Jon Gray, Chase Anderson — come to mind that make me want to eat someone’s children. Not really (yes, really). Why couldn’t Chase Anderson do this when he was on my team?! *lines tacks up on desk, slams head down* I’m okay! *blood dripping from forehead like Abdullah the Butcher* I can’t see! *screaming at intern* Getmeahandiwipesoicansee–Okay, I can see again. I’m still seeing blood though. Yesterday, Chase Anderson went 7 IP, 0 ER, 1 hit, 2 walks, 6 Ks, ERA at 4.13. The peripherals are still not there for Anderson — 6.1 K/9, 3.5 BB/9, 5.17 xFIP — so I won’t be going back in on him. That doesn’t mean it won’t make me think about salt and peppering some kids if he pitches well again. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Please see our player page for Sergio Romo to see projections for today, the next 7 days and rest of season as well as stats and gamelogs designed with the fantasy baseball player in mind.
The value of Michael Taylor is that he can play centerfield better than anyone else on the Nationals roster. I get that defensive metrics are not a fantasy stat, but it keeps players like him in the lineup from day-to-day. With the emergence of Juan Soto and the impending return of Adam Eaton, it causes a luxury that most teams don’t offer. Four decent to great outfielders that all offer a different set of skills but all rosterable in most fantasy formats. I think the biggest question we have to ask is: Is Juan Soto going to stay up when Adam Eaton returns from the 60-day DL on the 8th? Given what we have seen from him based on on-field merit, absolutely. Making Eaton or Taylor the fourth man on any given day is the right choice, but I am leaning that Eaton or Soto form a nice rotation based on what the skipper has said about Taylor: “He wins games with his play on the field” is the truncated version of what he said. He isn’t wrong, and basically Taylor is the Nationals version of Keirmaier. Similar skill set, maybe a bit more speed for Taylor, but their main asset is their propensity for great glove work. Listen, I get and hear all the prospect thumpers saying there is no way that Soto comes out of the lineup, but to think that he doesn’t sit occasionally upon Eaton’s return is just plain naive. Eaton won’t play everyday, because he is about as durable as a street watch bought in Chinatown. So if you are a Taylor owner, be semi-nervous he should be owned for SAGNOF appeal, but not a pillar that is in your lineup for any other counting stats. Even if the are getting better over the past 14 games to what they have been over the course of the year so far. So to summarize on the SAGNOF love, Eaton coming back, Soto, Taylor and Eaton will all lose 4-6 at bats a week, all is well and all are ownable. SAGNOF Monday starts off your week with class and style. Cheers!Please, blog, may I have some more?
Forget about raising the Jolly Roger, let’s just salvage the poor thing. The closer there, Felipe Vazquez, or the artist formerly known as “One Inning Willy” is struggling. Which sucks for me personally because I tabbed him and the suspended one preseason to be the valued goods in the ranks of relievers. Welp, you can’t predict injury, criminal activity, or attrition. Judging that one closer is bad compared to if one is good, the eye test always wins out. But Vazquez has been bad, and with an injury asterisk. Blowing 4 saves in the last 10 games is just bad karma regardless of if your name is Mariano or not. Bad luck, sure. Injured…? More likely, which is bad. The propensity for him to be a every day or two out of three closer may be changing within the near future, not only to ease his pain with the stress of pitching the ninth, but to get a second look at one of the viable arms that has the look on paper of a closer. That triumvirate of Michael Feliz, Edgar Santana and Richard Rodriguez have pitched spotty the last few times out, but should be owned in deeper leagues where saves are like the Sahara. Cuffing yourself, even though the news on Felipe has come back clean, is the best advice I can give as a bullpen junky. Just in case is better than a dollar short. Other bullpen and closer bits of tid on the way. Cheers!Please, blog, may I have some more?
Late last week as I was journeying through the Serengeti Plains with a local group of albino dwarves, I felt a tingling… a tingling deep within my gonads. My mouth started watering uncontrollably, like a beaver when he/she sees a perfect piece of timber, like a b*tch (female dog) in heat when she sees a Great Dane hop over the neighbors fence, his huge beautiful balls flapping in the wind like a kite during a hurricane; I couldn’t decipher the meaning, but then, seemingly out of nowhere, Darweshi, Dwarf Lord and one of the countless mentors who have helped me on my journey to enlightenment, grabbed me by the Geoduck, pulled me inches from his ivory colored lips, fumigating my lungs with the aroma of his hot ass-water breath and told me what I must do: “Reveal your true self to the people!” Darweshi commanded…
“Show the fine children of Razzball all of your talents, all that you bring to the table. Not just your phenomenal writing (His words, not mine), but your stage-trained acting skills you were taught by the gifted yet troubled Tom Arnold, the exhilarating dancing you learned from 15 years of tutelage under (not literally, unfortunately) the great and wise Paula Abdul, your fascinating original poetry that has some calling you a young Shel Silverstein, your rapier wit, your incredible body (which is seemingly molded from iron, steroids free…).”
It’s time to reveal…….LO-WELL, Thee Greatest Showman.” Taking in Darweshi’s lecture hit me like a 60-pound bag of butt plugs, for I have always wanted to maintain my private life, but after three peyote sticks and an intense game of Battleship, I concluded that Darweshi, King butt-breath himself, was correct… No more hiding behind my birth name of Tehol Beddict, for that man is now dead. Say one thing for Tehol Beddict, he had the potential to be the best that ever did it. Sadly, his gluttonous sexual appetite and desire to love every woman on the planet got in his way of becoming truly elite. Lo-Well has no such problems, for he has given up sex for life, had his genitals tattooed shimmery gold and sworn a vow to protect all of those who are weaker than he (everyone). I am back baby, recharged and with enough build up to choke that T-Rex hybrid in the new Jurassic Park flick. Cock the hammer and put the kids to bed! FOR IT’S TIME TO SLAY! HEED MY WORDS!!!!!! AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Anyway, here’s some of my thought about what’s going on in the world of baseball and some other random shizz…Please, blog, may I have some more?
Times like this you wish Noah Syndergaard wasn’t complaining of a ligament strain and just had a bad lisp. “Oh no! My finger is Thor, and it needs a Syndergaard.” More like Noah Fingergaard! Noah Syndergaard hit the DL with a finger ligament strain. I’m fully aware that at least one person in every league ignored my advice to ignore Syndergaard and drafted him very early, so I will do something I’ve never done before, not gloat. True story, my crazy aunt used to say I gloated all the time behind her back (I did) and I drove her into a mental asylum. See, when I say my ‘crazy’ aunt, I’m being literal! So, without gloating, let me just say when a pitcher proves himself to be injury prone, take his word for it. His Synderwoord? DeGrom’s already had a dislocated elbow, and my money’s on him getting injured at some point again soon too. Same goes for Kershaw. Not trying to be harsh, it’s just truth bombs. If you own Syndergaard, hope he returns relatively soon, but this is the kind of injury that sidelines a pitcher for an entire season. Sorry, another truth bomb. Oh, and the Mets said Syndergaard can return in ten days. What’s the opposite of a truth bomb? That’s what that is. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Howie Kendrick is out for multiple 10-day DLs with a ruptured Achilles injury. Look at it this way, if Achilles couldn’t come right back from an Achilles injury, how would Kendrick? He can’t, he’s out for the year. Enter stage left, Juan Soto. True story, as I was listening to Prospector Ralph and Lance Broetc. discuss the top 25 prospects for fantasy baseball (clickbait!), every time Ralph would say Juan Soto I’d think he was asking Lance if he wanted soda. I kept wanting to say, just give him a Dr. Pepper and stop asking if he’s thirsty! I don’t drink Soto, because it makes me burp, but I’ll tell you what? I’ve found a special appreciation for La Croix. Give me flavored seltzer or give me death, as Alan Hale Jr. once said. Any hoo! Love, love, lurve what the Nats did. If you have a guy that’s going to be a superstar? You call him up! H to the hockey sticks with an E in between! If the Blue Jays don’t call up Vlad soon, I will call them the BJs for the rest of eternity. Ralph has gone over Juan Soto so many times, that it’s silly to reiterate. Literally, he just wrote a Juan Soto fantasy. If you’re really lazy and you have wheels on your barcalounger so you can get around, the most succinct is Soto could be a 35/12/.300 hitter during his peak and is 19 years old with extra fizz. You can expect this year something similar to Bryce Harper’s rookie year — 20/15/.270. If your eyes don’t bug out on that, you’ve lost feeling in your eyes. Get them checked. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Yesterday, Rafael Devers was called up by the Red Sox. Meh, if he’s anything like Danvers, Mass., I’m good. Somewhere, Prospector Ralph just Hulk-smashed his computer. Say something bad about Rafael Devers and Prospector Ralph goes full Clubber Lang at the Rocky statue. “You want a real man to play third base with your wife?” Devers’ minor league numbers (20 HRs, near-.310 across two levels this year in 85 games) look like yet another Benintendi, but with more power. The Sons of Sam Horn will go legit Sophie’s Choice if you try to get them to choose between Benintendi and Devers. “I’d prefer to eat at a Wahlburgers every day for the rest of my life than choose between those two. Oh, and Yankees suck!” After owning Benintendi for the past four months, I think I might prefer Devers next year, if he’s all that he’s cracked up to be. Not to get too crazy, but can anyone say a lefty Miggy? If you can’t say it, you might need to see a speech therapist. Devers is absolutely a grab in all leagues to see how looks. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Since I haven’t touted my wares in a minute, I wrote a Jake Lamb sleeper post last December. Going back to read that now, and, I don’t often laugh at my own stuff, but the opening paragraph is funny. Not unintentionally either, like I called Aaron Judge a preseason bust (I actually liked Judge a lot in the preseason, and own him; something I also don’t tout often — the hype’s strong enough, isn’t it?). Then, into the 2nd paragraph, I drop more gems, but they’re useful vs. haha. One gem that particularly stands out to me as I reread it, Jake Lamb hates the summer. He might also dislike girls that wear Abercrombie & Fitch. Before yesterday’s 2-for-5, 6 RBIs, two-homer game, Lamb had a .150 average in July with no homers. Last year, as I point out in that post, he was just as bad — 9 HRs, .197 in the 2nd half. Last year, there was a wrist problem — That’s what she said! What? — so maybe his splits aren’t as obvious as a banana gymnast. Here’s hoping he makes last year an outlier and not the beginning of male pattern badness. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Last week we covered the other “S” in the “AGNOF”, that being the steals part of the whole acronym. This week it’s saves… sorta. And to be fair, I will touch on some steals guys this week too. But for today, we take a gander at the Saves portion, but for better and more finite terminology, we are going to look at some of the changing needed cuffs that before the year were must owns and have basically faded away from their usefulness so far to date. Now, being a setup relief pitcher is basically like a coupon that eventually expires. The amount of useful relief pitchers from day one to game 162 is small, like the count on both hands kinda small. It is an ever fluxing market where injuries, poor form, and situational involvement change from one game to the next. I wish it weren’t so, but it is. Everyone has a crush on the roster the draft at the beginning of the year, but soon enough a girl from another school moves in and is more prominent or endowed than the previous love fest. That is baseball, and the last 1-2 relieve spots on your team should always be changing, just to maximize the roster spot value. So here are some of the more popular names that have fallen by the way side of rosterability or some guys that may have increasing market value. Get your hands up, so we can slap some cuffs on ya…Please, blog, may I have some more?
A funny thing happened on my way to work today, I sat there in my favorite sitting place and did some research. I looked at the availability of information provided by the other experts in the world of fantasy baseball, and then correlated that to what I do best. That, my friends, is bullpens. We as a collective fantasy universe play in leagues with the illusive yet sultry stat category known as the Hold. In fact, in some further research that I have done, an estimated 30% of all fantasy players play in a league with some sort of Hold associated with the final outcome in the standings. I mean, 30% is basically like winning the popular vote. [Jay’s Note: I love you Smokey.] But I am standing here aghast at the amount of research poured into this fantasy industry by experts all around the world, yet here I sit. Giving you the most diverse, in-depth, informative (yet funny), and groundbreaking stat analysis that not even world-wide leaders give… for free might I add. I love me some bullpens, and if you don’t play in a league that adds diversity to the game to include them, then maybe you should down shift a bit and give it some thought and do a league that includes it. Don’t do it for me, do it for yourself. Because this way I gain, at least one reader from each person that does it. Go search the inter-webs for holds type information, you get a column sorted catastrophe written by some intern who doesn’t know the difference between good and well. So stay here my friends, I am the goods through and through. I dropped the Holds chart weeks ago and now you get just straight cheddar and some rankings.Please, blog, may I have some more?