Not Asleep At Z-Wheel

August 2, 2019 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 218 Comments

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Yesterday, Zack Wheeler went 7 IP, 0 ER, 4 baserunners, 7 Ks, ERA at 4.45. Can you please be “2nd Half Wheeler?” Can you be anything but “1st Half Wheeler?” Who do I have to pay for that to happen? Because I made $1.67 from yesterday’s ads and I am willing to give a percentage of that to ensure Wheeler is right for another two months. It’s all I ask and I one day have to say, “Damn, I can’t believe I crashed my 1st yacht into my 2nd yacht. Stupid yacht problems!” Okay, now to go on a rant you never asked for, but I have some legitimate first world problems that need addressing: the Starbucks menu is too complicated. What is all this crap and no Unicorn Frappuchino?! Dubya tee eff! Oh and Netflix has a 15-second rewind but no 15-second fast forward? Are you people stupid?! Also, Amazon Prime two-day shipping begins when the seller ships your item but not when you order? Is this a joke? Seriously? Do I look like a chump to you! Any hoo! Wheeler was phenomenal last 2nd half, and I keep saying I was buying him for his 2nd half. All his peripherals point to him being much better: 9.9 K/9, 2.3 BB/9, 3.64 FIP, velocity up to 97 MPH on average. Drop the R from boring, because that’s BOING! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Indians Trade Wild Bauer For A Puig

July 31, 2019 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 564 Comments

by: Grey

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Had our 1st mega trade. Or as far as Trevor Bauer is concerned, might be our first MAGA trade too. Take it easy, it’s a joke. An everyday occurrence and tempers flaring might be hard to distinguish for Trevor Bauer since he will now see red all the time. Interestingly, Bauer wasn’t throwing his last pitch for the Indians the other day, he was throwing his 1st pitch towards Cincy. The Indians should be embarrassed of themselves for selling off their big frontline pitcher as they hold their Wild Card chances in their hands. Notice I didn’t say the Indians should be red-faced. Hey, they’re the ones still with the name. Bauer has been down a tad this year compared to last. Not just obviously in ERA, but his Ks are down, walks are up, homers are way up, which won’t play well in Cincy, but I will say he was way over his head last year with a 2.21 ERA, so he’s likely still a 3.50-ish ERA pitcher with great Ks in Cincy and the NL. He should be able to chuck balls over Great American’s fence with greater ease too. So win-win. Going the other way and the rest of the news, well…Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Fantasy Baseball Streamers, Ride the Wave: First-Half Recap Edition

by: The Real Joey Bart

With the All-Star break happening this week, it’s time to reflect on the special times we’ve had together. We’ve been undoubtedly enabling one another’s fantasy baseball addiction and it’s a beautiful thing. We have to fight through this time together though and do our best to shake off these cravings. In order to get through this period, let’s discuss some of the bright spots we’ve had together and some of the things to look forward too.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

2019 Dark Horse Closers: AL Central

March 25, 2019 | 2019 Fantasy Baseball, Closers | 2 Comments

by: Roto-Wan

It’s the AL Central’s turn to be featured in my “reliever names that might make you vomit” series. These are some of the least stable bullpens in baseball. There’s a good chance someone from one of these teams becomes a difference maker in your saves chase, so listen up!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Let My Love For Francisco Open Lindor

July 3, 2018 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 444 Comments

by: Grey

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Across the media landscape yesterday, people who vaguely know sports were giving hot takes like, “Cleveland lost their sports hero.” “What do we hang on this LeBron sports banner now?” “All Cleveland has left is the Browns, what will they ever do?” I blame myself. People don’t know baseball like they should. That pains me. What MLB was hoping for from Judge and Giancarlo is currently going on with Francisco Lindor (2-for-4, 3 runs, 7 RBIs and his 22nd and 23rd homer, hitting .298) and Jose Ramirez (2-for-4, 15th steal, hitting .298) and people outside of Cleveland have no idea. Don’t worry, you’re not absolved of blame either. I blame you, as well. We need to shout from the rooftops at what these two are doing. They are neck-and-neck in the top five on the Player Rater. I can’t remember another time two teammates, who are hitters, were both in the top five. (If you can think of an instance, hit me up in the comments. I racked my brain, which is to say I placed my head on a video of a stripper’s rack.) Together, they are worth nearly $90! To swoop your pretty face back to the preseason, if your team added up to $260, you were at least working on even money. Combined they’re worth more than a third of a total team! Which one of them is going to end up worth more? No idea, but this will be the greatest battle since Apollo-Rocky I. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

If Ya Wanna Be With The Rockies, It Don’t Matter If Jon’s Black And White

July 2, 2018 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 479 Comments

by: Grey

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This weekend, I was kneeling in a garden, tending to my Monkey Face Orchid, when I heard some commotion outside my greenhouse. It was my much, much older wife, Cougs, screaming, “Grey! They’ve come for you.” It was the Rockies, and they were trying to send me to the minors. They trampled over my azaleas with their jackboots, dragging me through the soil, ruining my suspenders. I tried to tell them, “You have the wrong man!” Finally, they heard my pleas and checked my state ID card. Before they left, I asked, “Who are you looking to send to the minors?” They replied, “Jon Gray,” and I began to scream again, “Please! Take me instead!” So, Jon Gray was optioned to the minors. Can’t say I fully blame the Rockies, but, of course, I can try. Have the Rockies heard of underlying peripherals? Sure, the results have been miserable, but it’s Coors and everything says Gray should be much better. You really have a better replacement pitcher who is worth ruining your best pitcher’s confidence? He has the 6th best xFIP in the league with an 11.6 K/9. I honestly can’t even with the Rockies. They are the worst. Then, they brought up Raimel Tapia to fill the roster spot, so, of course, Tapia will sit on the bench. WHAT THE HOLY EFF ARE THE ROCKIES DOING?! Caps for emphasis and the hyperopic. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Top 100 Starting Pitchers for 2018 Fantasy Baseball

March 23, 2018 | Fantasy Baseball Rankings | 113 Comments

by: Geoff

Does anybody else remember the Adventures of the Gummi Bears? It was on the Disney Channel back in the day and it was THE Saturday Morning jam. Medieval, personified bears, that bounce like kangaroos. Where do I sign up, right? In one of the sloppiest and more unconnected openings in Razzball history, starting pitchers are nothing like Gummi Bears. No, they are not my Saturday Morning jam. They’re my Saturday Morning job, digging into numerous deep dives, for hours on end, trying to figure out which players are trending where. The results of these Saturday Morning exercises are below. As a reminder these rankings are for 5×5 roto with value focused on rest of season value for 2018. So, a player like Michael Kopech is ranked for his value over the entirety of the 2018 season. Not just the next month. In previous seasons, this post was a weekly ranking with a pitching profile included. This year we will continue the weekly pitching profile, but once a month we will update the rankings. Because honestly, how much can happen in a week? One or two starts? So there’s changes coming for 2018, but they’re slight, and you’ll still get the same quality profiles, notes, and ranks. You might also get a cupcake or a venereal disease, but no telling which one. The expiration dates will just be a little longer. On the rankings not on the cupcakes or your fresh batch of herpes.

Here’s my Top 100 Starting Pitchers for 2018 Fantasy Baseball.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

KC Helps Out Royally Screwed Moose

March 9, 2018 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 248 Comments

by: Grey

Scott Boras is pushing this “MLB owners are in collusion” narrative, and what better way to push that agenda than have Mike Moustakas turn down a $17.4 million dollar qualifying offer from the Royals to re-sign with them for $6.5 million. Boras is playing a long con here, and no one’s seeing it! But I see it! *takes index and middle finger and points at eyes, then points at picture of Boras* You know who Mike Moustakas needed as his agent? Regina King. She is doggedly persistent. Have you ever seen Regina King quit? Oh hell no. There’s no quit in that woman in every role she’s in. If Scott Boras were married to Cuba Gooding Jr. in Jerry Maguire, Cuba would’ve signed for chump change, and never waited for his quan moment. Moustakas needs to hire Regina King, stat! So, I haven’t changed anything in my projection and ranking for Moustakas in my top 20 3rd basemen for 2018 fantasy baseball with this re-signing, because that was the baseline I was projecting off of anyway. Now to see if I can get Regina King to do my auction bidding for me. Anyway, here’s what else I saw in spring training for 2018 fantasy baseball:

Psyche! Before we get into the post, there are a few RCL drafts this weekend that need you! You as in you you. Why are you looking over your shoulder? I’m talking to you! Sign up for a league, and if we don’t fill them, you’ll get your money back, but let’s assume they will be filled because you like to win some cash-money. Yes, you you still! Also, in those leagues are JayWrong and MattTruss, so you know the leagues will be talked about on the site. Anyway, the roundup:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Hosmer Joins The Pads Cast, Serially

February 19, 2018 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 143 Comments

by: Grey

It’s the Winter Meetings, Part 2: This Time Free Agents Are Really Signing. Starring as Eric Hosmer is Turtle!

Starring as Wil Myers is your goofy friend from high school who now works for Enterprise Rent-A-Car:

Trailer Voice, “What if all of MLB’s owners weren’t in collusion….But just the rich teams!” In the last few days, the Padres, Twins and Rays got some deals done, which is kinda like shuffling the deck chairs on the Titanic. Some ‘perts will likely move Hosmer down in their rankings, but I always assumed Hosmer would be a Padre, and ranked and projected him as one in my top 20 1st basemen for 2018 fantasy baseball. There, I said, “Here’s what I will say when Hosmer signs, “I made the case last year that Hosmer was Joey Votto Jr. I called him Kangaroo Embryo. I just thought of a kangaroo wearing a Kangol, but I’ve never thought about an alligator wearing an Izod shirt, I’ll have to discuss this with my shrink. At one point, Wil Myers said he’d move to the outfield for Eric Hosmer to come to the Padres, and I thought to myself, “If I were Hosmer, I’d tell Myers to please not do me any favors.” San Diego is like the Trojan Horse of cities (for baseball and just visiting). It’s like this, “Oh, man, San Diego is gorgeous. What’s this, 77 degrees every day? I can get used to this!” Five minutes later, “I am bored out of mind.” Five minutes after, “Damn, can we get out of here?” Ten minutes after that, “If I see one more white person in flip-flops I’m going to readily embrace going to Tijuana.” Any hoo! Hosmer isn’t exactly a home run hitter. His fly balls were goofy low last year for a guy with 25 homers. He was the third lowest for fly balls (22.2%), fourth highest ground balls and the 29th lowest for Hard Contact. He does hit a decent amount of line drives, and feels like a 23-26 homer guy with a few more fly balls. He might be Kangaroo Embryo this year, but to emulate Joey Votto Jr. he’s going to need to elevate the ball more.” And that’s me quoting future me!” And that’s me quoting me quoting future me! Anyway, here’s what else I saw in spring training for 2018 fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Two Missiles By Correa Flashing Scary North Potential

September 28, 2017 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 134 Comments

by: Grey

I had a thought, 30 years ago there was one source for all information, the encyclopedia. If they wanted to make up information, there was no internet to double check anything. *blows dust off an old book, opens Encyclopedia Britannica, turns to Korean War page* “In 1950-something, Carlos Correa tried to unite the Correan peninsula under Communist rool.” Now there might be too much information, but 30 years ago, you’d shrug and be like, “I guess you spell rule ‘rool,’ and rad on Correa. Hey, look, it says here Columbus invented the mammogram.” Any hoo! Yesterday, Correa went 4-for-5, 4 RBIs and his 22nd and 23rd homer. He’s going to be a tough guy to peg for 2018 fantasy. His power this year is actually solid when you consider he missed six weeks. The lack of steals is disturbing though, if a lack of a fantasy category can be disturbing. I know he’s fast, he knows he’s fast, but the Astros just refuse to let him run. Three attempts all year is pathetic. If he’s a lock for 29 HR, 2 SBs and .290 next year, it’s great, but it’s not 2nd round great. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

What Do Ynoa – Another Ex-Met Pitcher Does Well

September 22, 2017 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 93 Comments

by: Grey

Yesterday, Gabriel Ynoa threw a gem, 8 IP, 1 ER, 7 baserunners, 3 Ks, ERA at 3.41 in just under 32 IP. His name is pronounced EE-know-a. As they say, the more you EE-know-a. Ynoa was only at 94 pitches, so don’t you let Ynoa try for the complete game? I mean, Ynot? He looks like a number five starter, though on the Orioles that likely means a number three starter. He can touch mid-90’s with his fastball, but he’s missing a decent breaking ball and tends to get beat up by lefties, like Fox News. Though, better things may await him because the Mets traded him away. He will likely come up a little short of the Mets’ all-time worst trade of Nolan Ryan, and even their 2nd worst trade of Amos Otis to the Royals for a prospect with a giant baseball head. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

A Fish Called Miranda

September 6, 2017 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 215 Comments

by: Grey

Ariel Miranda pitched a no-hitter yesterday through six innings and 112 pitches that had to be the worst six-inning no-hitter in baseball history. Shame the M’s removed him before he gave up a hit, because this could’ve been an epic debacle — depicacle? Remember those Hall of Shame books from the 1980’s that always featured at least one anecdote about Steve Lyons? Usually that anecdote was of him undressing at first base. Somehow that largely visual gag was depicted in literary prose in these books. If they still had those books, Ariel Miranda’s six-inning no-hitter would’ve had a chapter. He went 6 IP, 1 ER, zero hits, six walks, 5 Ks, ERA at 4.72. Only thing that was missing was him taking his pants off on the mound or clowning around with Max Patkin. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?