Commissioner Rob Manfred was recently seen at a yard sale looking at the stitching on a crocheted dress when he remarked, “The stitching seems kinda loose.” From there, he picked up his grandkids and they asked if they could watch Lilo & Stitch and Manfred wrinkled his nose and said, “Stitch is a genetic experiment who escaped from an alien planet, which is a loose contrivance. Wouldn’t you like to see something with tight stitches? Like 12 homers in one game?” Later in his evening, Manfred tossed and turned in his bed, asking Womanfred, “I can count with my back all 500 threads in this linen. We need tighter stitching!” So, with Manfred on a quest for the tightest stitching possible, we also have more dongs than the Houston 500. First, Matt Adams went 3-for-5, 2 runs, 3 RBIs with his 19th homer. Mean’s while, Ryan Zimmerman has a Chia pet growing on his foot. Next, Victor Robles (2-for-5, 2 runs) hit his 16th homer, hitting over .500 in the last week. This was only his third homer since the break, and hitting .260-ish in that time. Would’ve loved to see him get a legit shot at the two hole — hey now! — but he hasn’t truly earned it. Next next, Juan Soto (2-for-5) popped two tops of Sexy Dr. Pepper (27, 28) and he’s 20 years old. In 2020, he’ll be 21 and will be a 70-homer hitter by the time he’s 27. You can hold me to that, assuming you forget. Next next next, Brian Dozier (3-for-4, 4 RBIs) hit his 18th and 19th homers, and he doesn’t even start every game. Just your average 2019 part-time middle infidel who gets 25 homers. Next next next next, Anthony Rendon (1-for-4, 3 RBIs) hit his 27th homer and he’s three RBIs from 100. Feels like RBIs are down this year. Maybe because no one’s on base and everyone’s just hitting home runs. That reason feels galaxy brain-ish. Next next next next next, Adam Eaton (2-for-3, 3 runs, 3 RBIs) hit his 10th. What’s Eaton eating? Tightly-wound baseballs. Just ask Womanfred, she’s sick of hearing it. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Please see our player page for Alex Wood to see projections for today, the next 7 days and rest of season as well as stats and gamelogs designed with the fantasy baseball player in mind.
Ruth/Gehrig, Mantle/Maris, Gio/Tauchman. Ya know, en bee dee, oh em gee, tee em eye, tee bee aitch, bee tee dubs, what the eff. It’s an all-New York week here at Razzball HQ. Yesterday, Gio Urshela (3-for-5, 3 runs, 4 RBIs) went and hit his 15th and 16th homer, and has five homers in his last 13 at-bats. Last year, he hit three homers, and two came in Triple-A! I’d cackle-snort, but who would hear me with this pillow over my mouth as I scream about not picking up Urshela last week? Of course, Urshela will be in this afternoon’s Buy column, but, in any self-respecting league, he shouldn’t be available anymore. By the way, the Yankees became the 1st team in Major League history to hit 19 HRs in a four-game span. Our Commissioner Manfred just shipped in a new crate of baseballs, and they’re wrapped tighter than a hamster’s balloon knot. Let’s get some homers! Gulp, gulp up those juiced balls! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Can you imagine Marcus Stroman’s reaction?
“You’ve been traded.”
“Awesome! I’m going to a contender!”
“You might want to sit down.”
— Razzball (@Razzball) July 28, 2019
Oh, Marcus Stroman. You poor, poor soul. Can we take bets on how hard the Mets tried to include Mickey Callaway in the deal? It is so Mets to suddenly think of themselves as contenders. Blue Jays to Pirates, “Thank you for making the Mets believe again.” We’ll see how much Stroman enjoys throwing ground ball pitches with that defense behind him. Amed Rosario plays balls two feet to his left into a diving try. Honestly, I wouldn’t be shocked if this move leads to the Mets trading away Wheeler and Syndergaard, as they change their rotation vs. thinking Stroman is some catalyst. He has a 7.2 K/9, 2.5 BB/9 and 3.52 FIP, so he’s not bad. A bit yawnstipating, but in the NL out of the AL East makes me a buyer of Stroman vs. ignoring him. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Rob Manfred presses the button on a contraption that looks like a skinny hose, and juices spurt out. Rob looks up to the store clerk, “So, I just push this end of the hose inside the baseballs and juice comes out and balls go zoom?” “Zoom, baby, zoom.” “I’ll take 300 of them.” “You only want 300 homers?” “You’re right, I’ll take 45,000.” “Will do, Kemosabe. Hey, wanna see where I store the white pine tar that pitchers can use undetected?” “No, that’s illegal!” So, what’s this, three days in a row with a hitter hitting three homers in a game? Shizz is bizzonkers. Every year I say the same for Nelson Cruz (3-for-5, 5 RBIs and his 23rd, 24th and 25th homer) and Edwin Encarnacion. They will hit home runs until they’re 50. That’s if they’re not already 50, then make it 70. When reached for comment after the game, Cruz said, “I could’ve hit four homers, but then you find out why Mark Whiten was called ‘Hard Hittin.'” Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
At least one of you is reading this with a bandaged thumb from a fireworks mishap. I had a Cousin Pete (Italian side of the family) who lost the tip of his thumb on the 4th, but rather than stop the festivities, he taped the tip of a hot dog on his thumb to act as a tourniquet for the rest of the 4th, so we could all go about our fun-having business. I suggested my Cugino make a PSA about hot dog tourniquets, but I was turned away by NBC Cares. Let us bow our heads and pray that if anyone loses a finger, may there be a proper-sized hot dog nearby. Okay…*claps hands* Play ball! Yesterday, Matthew Boyd went 5 1/3 IP, 4 ER, 9 baserunners (zero walks), 13 Ks, ERA at 3.87. Flavor Flav secures his giant clock to his chest with one hand and pumps his fist with his other hand, “Yeah Boyd!” Boyd was the 1st pitcher with less than 6 IP, zero walks and 13 or more Ks. You kinda have to get hit around a bit to have that record, but, damn, that’s impressive. Let’s hear it for the Boyd, let’s hear it for the…MATT! See what I did there? No one saw that coming! Not a soul! Boyd is one of the few guys in the entire major leagues who is pitching better than his ERA would indicate. I’m kidding, everyone’s ERA is crap! But Boyd’s been very special — 11.9 K/9, 1.7 BB/9, 3.33 xFIP — and is looking like a solid number two with upside. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
If a tree falls in a forest, but no one drafts the tree does it make a sound? That’s what it felt like this weekend at Razzball. I’m sure a ton of people were angry that Daniel Murphy fractured his finger, but I heard nary a peep from the Razzball faithful. I’m guessing because of where I ranked him. According to FantasyPros, the top person ranked him 26th overall. The worst ranking of him, and, oh, it’s just silly. Some total numbskull ranked him 150th overall. Wait a second, I’m that numbskull, and the awful ranking was actually him 26th overall. I should’ve wrote an overrated schmohawk post for him, but I didn’t because I didn’t want to write this in February, “He’s old, and will get hurt. End of post. So, did everyone already take down their Groundhog’s Day decorations?” I honestly couldn’t figure out why people were drafting him. His projections were 22 HRs, .310. I mean, okay, but kinda big whoop, no? Meh, I guess it’s irrelevant now since I know none of you drafted him. Right? Riiiiiiight? The good news is Garrett Hampson and Ryan McMahon should see more at-bats, and, just as I say that, the Rockies played Mark Reynolds at 1st base on Sunday. Oh, Rockies, you dumb, dumb team, which is different than the creative team behind Dum-Dum lollipops. They’re terrific. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Not Your Grandfather’s Top 100 Starting Pitchers… It was established in the first edition of 2019 Top 100 Pitchers: starting pitchers are much like grandparents. Exciting when they’re young and healthy, disheartening when they’re old and feeble. No reasonable mind would dispute the likeness between our elders and dudes who grasp and thrust balls for […]Please, blog, may I have some more?
Hiyo, whaddup, it’s ya boy, Grey Albright, the King of Swing! Swing standing, of course, for a Swiss National Guard. See, I got this certificate with my Swatch watch–Any hoo! Today is the top 60 starters for 2019 fantasy baseball. You think we’re late into the rankings here, but last year this post included Blake Snell, Jameson Taillon, Patrick Corbin, Trevor Williams, Mike Clevinger and Ryu as guys I told you to draft. In this post alone, you might be able to put together a pitching staff. Let’s do this! Here’s Steamer’s 2019 Fantasy Baseball Projections for Hitters and 2019 Fantasy Baseball Projections for Pitchers. All projections listed are mine and I mention where I see tiers starting and stopping. Anyway, here’s the top 60 starters for 2019 fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
The trade of Yasiel Puig, Matt Kemp, Alex Wood to the Reds means one thing, the Dodgers are signing Manny Machado or Bryce Harper. I’m kidding, in the non-funny way. Maybe it means that, but I kinda hope it doesn’t, so Muncy, Pederson and others have room to play. Not sure why the Dodgers rehired Dave Roberts, but I’m impressed the Dodgers realized that Dave Roberts had zero capacity for managing a team. “What’s he doing?” “I don’t know.” That’s two Dodgers execs watching Dave Roberts juggle three VHS copies of the movie Platoon. “I don’t think he understands what we meant when we asked him to juggle platoons.” “Yeah.” “So, we should trade Puig?” “Maybe trade like five guys.” “Okay.” So, Puig goes back to the Reds, but they’re no longer an island nation in the Caribbean. Now, they’re in Ohio. In five years, people will be like, “I forgot Puig played for the Reds for three months.” Yes, I think he’ll likely be traded in July. Either way, he will get everyday at-bats and should get a nice boost in fantasy value. The Reds were surprising solid last year on offense, and I see no reason why that would end. For 2019, I’ll give Yasiel Puig projections 73/27/83/.273/11 in 502 ABs. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this offseason in 2019 fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Welcome to part two of my four-part #2EarlyMocks draft series. If you’re looking for part one you can find it here: 2EarlyMock Draft Part 1. In part one, we covered the sexy rounds — one through seven. Not too many risks or reaches in those rounds, you grab your studs and stars and reap the rewards. But in rounds eight through 14 is where owners are starting to take risks and grab their sleepers, rookies and potential bounce back players. I’ll be comparing the draft position of these players during this draft to their cumulative ADP on Fantasy Pros. This cumulative ADP includes the 288 players from ESPN’s ADP, the 999 players from Fantrax’s ADP plus data from CBS, Yahoo, RT Sports and NFBC draft results. Let’s get right into it:Please, blog, may I have some more?