Please see our player page for Alex Wood to see projections for today, the next 7 days and rest of season as well as stats and gamelogs designed with the fantasy baseball player in mind.

Just once
Can we figure out what we keep doin’ wrong
Why our players never last for very long
What are we doin’ wrong?
Just once
Can we find a way to finally make it right
Make the magic last for more than just one night
We could just get to it
I know I just got back India but what did the Fantasy Baseball Overlord do to it
Hmm hmm
Just once

*sobbing uncontrollably* Make the magic last for just one night. Just once–Jesus effin’ Christmas tree lights up in October what are we doing? This is not right!? Ozzie Albies? Seriously? A fractured foot? Ozzie Albies’s feet should only be discussed on some weird subreddit. Ess oh BEEEEE! So, Orlando Arcia should see more playing time while Albies is out, my guess is for at least six weeks. I hate this. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

No hitters are funny, aren’t they? They’re baseball at its finest. Baseball thrives off of statistical anomalies. It’s why there’s so many Jayson Stark-types that spit at ya stuff like, “This is the first time a player has hit into a double play while his 1st base coach was in the 1st base coach’s box talking on a bluetooth to his mistress,” and other oddities. The no-hitter highlights the oddity. It takes great pitching to no-hit a team, but varying amounts of luck. Reid Detmers was on the leaning side of the scale for an extreme amount of luck. Well-struck balls right at fielders. Hit ’em where they ain’t the Rays ain’t did. It’s also incredibly funny that Detmers’s peripherals got worse from a no hitter, but you throw 9 IP, 0 ER, 1 walk and only two strikeouts, and that will happen. His ERA is now down to 3.77. A solid, unremarkable unhittable performance. One of baseball’s oddities. It’s another oddity that the highlight of a no-hitter was a home run by Anthony Rendon. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Hey, Timmy, thanks for coming to see me in this old age home. Did you bring me the stewed carrots I asked for? Oh, great. What a pal. Let me take my teeth out so I can slurp on the soft carrots. I can’t believe how old I feel now. What’s that? Speak up! How old am I?! Same age I was five days ago, but it’s not how old I am. It’s how old I feel. Oh, yeah, I was spry duck just last week, but the first week of April’s starting pitching has aged me forty years in five days. I started the week remembering to go pee-pee and poo-poo in the toilet, and now I’m wearing diapers! Stupid starting pitching! Welp, we have one good starter this year, his name is Alek Manoah (6 IP, 0 ER, 1 hit, 4 walks, 7 Ks). Was watching Manoah last night and to say he looked good is somehow an understatement and an overstatement. He was unhittable, while also being nowhere near the plate for huge chunks of the game. It was not the best I had seen him — that was when he was interviewed with his mother and I was able to block him out of the shot with my hand. But for one magical night in April, we actually got a decent pitching line, so, ya know what? Alek Manoah looked as awesome as his mom, Aleka Momoah! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

So get this: sometime back in the stone ages when there was just Pets.com and only one Matrix movie, some guy named Clint “Command Strip” Feverback invented the Quality Start. Legend has it that Clint was having beers in his garage while listening to the game on the radio, where Matt Cain was on his way to another 4-12 season with a 2.83 ERA. Clint chugged a beer in honor of failing fantasy baseball team, which also fared pretty well in the ERA and WHIP categories but just couldn’t muster enough Wins to, well, win. Fed up with finishing second place to his junior high school bandmate and future boss at the shrimp canning factory Tyler Stilwicky — who just trotted out Yankees pitcher after Yankee pitcher and dominated the Wins and Saves categories — Clint decided to invent a statistic so unassailable in its statistical fortitude that fantasy baseballers for the next century would consider it superior to the Win. Thus, the Quality Start was born in that garage, after Clint’s first six-pack but before his first heart attack.

And twenty years later, us fantasy baseballers still have no freaking clue what to do about the quality start. So let’s jump in fears first and see if we can do anything to celebrate — or even prognosticate — the legacy that Clint “Command Strip” Feverback left us.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Hidey-ho neighborino! Is that phrase trademarked or just very, very old? Fine, let’s dismiss the formalities and get straight to the nitty-gritty: men who throw balls. Hard. We’re at the point in the pre-season where we understand that the MLB and MLBPA are definitely far, far away from any sort of agreement on a contract. That said, I wouldn’t be surprised if there’s actually a “realistic” contract that’s been shared between the groups and we’ll see that contract appear the first week of March, just in time for a shortened spring training and perfectly-timed Opening Day. But that’s just me spitballing labor negotiations, and what do I know other than the chords to every song on Green Day’s Dookie album? I suppose I know pitchers somewhat well, and wouldn’t you know it — I’ve got a pitcher listicle for you! A Pitchsticle!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Looking at the overall 2022 fantasy baseball rankings, the top 80 starters for 2022 fantasy baseball is from around 225 overall to 275 overall, which is just about the end for 12-team mixed leagues.  This is your late fourth, mostly fifth thru the beginning of the sixth starters. This is just about it for 12 team leagues, though the last tier in this post is still in 12-team league territory, so you’ll have to wait until the next post to finish off that tier. Don’t worry, on that next post, I’ll be by with another 70-ish pitchers for those in deeper leagues, and/or dynasty and keeper leagues. Or for those that just like to read about fantasy baseball while the world burns around them. I fall into that latter camp. Our subscriptions are up and running, and that comes with our online Fantasy Baseball War Room — now for auction drafts, AL-Only, NL-Only, Best Ball and more. Here’s Steamer’s 2022 Fantasy Baseball Projections for Hitters and 2022 Fantasy Baseball Projections for Pitchers. All projections included here are mine, and where I see tiers starting and stopping are included. Anyway, here’s the top 80 starters for 2022 fantasy baseball:

NOTE: All 2022 fantasy baseball projections are based on a 162-game season, and will be until we hear definitively there will be less games, due to the CBA. Also, I’m going on the assumption the NL is getting the DH.

NOTE II: All my rankings are currently available on Patreon for the price of a Starbucks coffee, if you get one of those extra grande frappuccino jobbers. Don’t wait for the rankings to come out over the next month, and get them all now.

NOTE III: Free agents are listed as just that and not yet projected. Once a guy signs, I will write out their blurb and add in projections, or remove them, if they sign in an unfavorable place. They are ranked currently where I think they might be if they sign on for a full-time job.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

One of the great mysteries of pitcher prognostication is the volume of innings pitched. Pop quiz hotshot: who had the second-best fastball in MLB last year? Answer: Ranger Suarez. How many runs better was his fastball in 2021 than 2020? An astounding 27 runs. How cool is that? OK, how many innings did he pitch in 2021? 106. That’s…a few. How about 2020? Oh, 4 innings pitched. I see the conundrum. Imagine you reach into your swear jar and pick out a quarter and start flipping it, and 8 times out of 10 it lands heads. Did you just find a weighted coin? IS IT COUNTERFEIT? Do you have magic hands? Or did you just need to flip the coin, say, 100 times for it to end up 53 heads and 47 tails? Even if it ended up heads 53% of the time, do you think you’ve discovered a magical coin that gives you 3% advantage over the field (which pro gamblers would slit your throat for), or do you think that hot streak at the start weighted the final results? What if you flipped it, say, 200 times? Do you want to take that bet that your swear jar coin is going to have a 53% heads rate after another 100 flips? Suddenly this pop quiz is more quiz and less pop…

Please, blog, may I have some more?