Please see our player page for Tanner Roark to see projections for today, the next 7 days and rest of season as well as stats and gamelogs designed with the fantasy baseball player in mind.

Yesterday, Lourdes Gurriel Jr. went 3-for-5, 4 RBIs with his 11th and 12th homer, hitting .304.  Lourdes Gurriel Jr. is the greatest living hitter, and I’m not living in a hyperbolic chamber, while dining out on superlatives to describe how hot Gurriel’s been since he returned from the minors.  On our 30-day Player Rater, he’s a near-top 10 hitter over the last month. His father, Yuli Gurriel, calls his son every day and asks him how he does it and LouGu Jay R is just like, “Father, I cannot explain my success with the white ball.”  And Yuli’s like, “Careful with the coded language because I learned the hard way people don’t like racism. Who knew?”  LouGu Jay R may simply be a hot bat, but there’s something to be said for a guy who has been hot the entire time he’s returned from the minors.  Maybe this is LouGu’s floor vs. ceiling.  At least one Junior is impressing on the Jays.  “I got a better butt.”  That’s Vlad Jr. modeling in front of a mirror for ESPN’s Nude Magazine. However, the song Vlad Jr. sings to his reflection is apt, “Gurriel, you knows it’s true.”  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Trevor Story hit the IL with a thumb sprain, which is bad news (no dur), but the Rockies are saying there’s no ligament damage, so it could’ve been worse.  The good news is Brendan Rodgers was promoted.  Is this good news?  For Rodgers, I’d imagine it is.  For the Uber driver taking Rodgers to the airport?  Prolly good news for them.  The guy sitting next to Rodgers on the plane having to hear about how Rodgers is not going to sit on the bench for Pat Valaika, this time, things are gonna be different?  Doesn’t sound like good news for that guy sitting next to him. What a bore!  Okay, so I know, I know, I KNOW the Rockies have burned us all to the point where we shudder at commercials for Burn Notice reruns on USA, but there is a reason why the Rockies have burned us.  Because we all want to own all of them due to the stadium. I grabbed Rodgers for that very reason.  We shall see, but I put it at 70/30 the Rockies play Pat Valaika, and 30 is for:  Rodgers doesn’t play, is sent down and Hampson is recalled to also not play. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Happy Father’s Day weekend DFSers.  We’ve got the US Open, Father’s Day prep and an eight game FanDuel main slate for you tonight.  Let’s try to pad your wallet so you can get an extra rib eye for the grill this weekend, shall we?  To do that, we’re looking at Frankie Montas ($8,700) and his plethora of strikeouts.  As we know by now, Ks pay the bills in DFS and Montas is currently rocking a 9.4 K/9 and has two 10 K games under his belt already.  Montas is at home (something we always love in our DFS pitchers) and he gets to face the Seattle Mariners. The Mariners appear to have given up on the season and are swinging at absolutely everything.  They lead the majors in strikeouts by a hefty margin and I love Montas to have a big game tonight. Lock and load my friends.

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Please, blog, may I have some more?

The Padres began this year by lifting their brown, monk robe they purchased from Macy’s in the Dan Brown collection and showed their first twig of the prospect tree they have cloaked underneath.  Luis Urias started the year with them, looked as good as the propsblock who’s in front of him, Ian Kinsler, which is to say not good, then didn’t play much and was sent down.  Was it too soon for him?  No, he had a ten-game slump and wasn’t given a opportunity.  Now, Luis Urias is killing minor league pitching (14 HRs, 6 SBs, .346/.439/.681 in 223 plate appearances), and the Padres said Urias will be up this week.  Hopefully, that means Kinsler is benched or DFA’d, because he’s like when you underestimate a fart and need to change your pants. Urias is a solid all-around bat, think .300 hitter, with some light power and speed.  He’s young though, which means he might need some patience, so remain calm.  For now, I will call him, Zen Bobrist.  I would grab him if you’re struggling at MI to see if he can catch fire and you can master Zen and the Art of MI Maintenance. Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

First off, big congrats to Albert Pujols (1-for-4 and his 6th homer), as he passed 2,000 RBIs. That is amazing. Now would some archaeologist find old man Pujols’s Holy Grail Goblet Room and let him retire in peace? Second off, David Fletcher went 2-for-5, 2 runs, hitting .310, as he finally seems to be settling in at leadoff. Can we just pause for one second and try to comprehend how stupid I am?  Okay, you don’t have to rundown all my countless idiotic calls.  I get it.  Okay, with my stupidity in mind, it took a major league manager — Bad Assdunce, in this case — almost six weeks to realize Fletcher is the best guy to hit leadoff on the Angels.  Assdunce hit Kole Calhoun (2-for-4, 3 runs, and his 9th homer, hitting .223) for 78 ABs at leadoff — a .240 hitter on a good day!  Ya know, when they hire MLB managers, they’re not hiring their best and brightest.  Oh, and I have it at 50/50 odds Fletcher doesn’t stay at leadoff, just so ya know.  By the by, Fletcher is not in this afternoon’s Buy column, but if he’s available add him for average and hopefully counting stats.  Finally, Tommy La Stella.  What in the holy fudge?  Only, I didn’t say fudge.  I said the mother of all curse words.  Yesterday, he went 2-for-4, 4 RBIs and his 8th and 9th homer.  Did he even have nine homers in 1,000 at-bats prior to this in his career?  Not to answer, because I don’t care, but WUT. At this point, Travis Shaw would need to have the best month of his career to even tie La Stella in fantasy value.  I am laughing through tears.  Sad clown tears!  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

This is easily my favorite week of streamers so far and I’m going to be pedaling harder than ever right down the stream. What I really love is all of the two-start pitchers available. We actually have five two-start streamers that we’re going to recommend, which is a new record for this article! I’m pedaling so furiously that there’s going to be a hole in my kayak!  

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Mike Clevinger is old school.  Not old school like really old school, but instead what we’d consider old school.  Ya know, good.  That’s one adjective for old school nowadays.  Like things were once better.  Of course, shizz was sideways with grabby hands and unhappy people during old school times too, but there’s a Gaussian blur of nostalgia that washes over people to make them think old school is good.  So, Mike Clevinger is old school like that.  He’s also old school in that he can throw a lot of pitches.  Not really old school like when Vida Blue used to throw 175 pitches by the 3rd inning, get an arm transplant then come out and throw another 100 pitches with a groundskeeper’s arm sloppily attached to his shoulder.  Nah, not real old school, but old school as we think about it in the new school.  That’s Mike Clevinger.  A youngish starter (he’s 28) who can throw 200 IP, when so many other starters are lucky to get through 150.  Yesterday, Mike Clevinger went 7 IP, 0 ER 1 hit, 3 walks, 12 Ks as he did exactly what I expected from him when I said he was a number one starter coming into this year and you said, “Grey, you’re handsome as fudge, but Clevinger is a #2.”  Nah, you’re doing a number two out yo’ mouth, Clevinger is a number one.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

This draft is a crock pot vs. a microwave.  A love sesh vs. a ‘hold the moan.’  A nature hike vs. “I’m gonna sit in the car as we drive past some mountains.”  Guys and five girl readers, it’s a slow draft.  This slow draft took about eighteen days, 3 hours, four minutes and–okay, only a lunatic counts seconds.  Not almost 18 days of straight drafting, mind you.  I don’t need to ice my clicky finger.  It’s five minutes of drafting, twelve hours of waiting.  It does allow you to second-guess your picks.  Actually, more like triple-guess.  (Who are we kidding, you quadruple-guess, fiveruple-guess, sextruple-guess, ochocinco-guess your picks.) For those not in the know, it’s a weekly, 15-team, two-catcher league that lasts for 50 rounds and there’s no waivers.  Anyway, here’s my NFBC draft recap:

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While Grey was off gallivanting in Jackson’s Hole sipping hot toddies and drafting his AL-Only team from heated chair lifts, I spent my day at a shady Illinois car dealership drafting my AL-Only team in that same league while getting fleeced on a used car. After I spent $35 on The Messiah, Adalberto Mondesi, Grey cracked, “I hope you get a better deal on that car than you got on Mondesi!” Oh real funny, Grey! That’s rich coming from the guy who spent $10 on Bryce Harper in an AL-Only league!

Nevertheless, my AL team took a turn for the worse when the car dealer tried to tack a $399 “Dealer Inventory Fee” onto the negotiated sale price. And that’s the story of how I spent $3 on Daniel Mengden and $1 on Chad Pinder in the all-important late stages of an AL-Only auction with the titans of the industry. Fortunately, our friend Scott White of CBS gave ya boy Donkey Teeth one more shot at the glory-hole in the NL-Only version of the same league. And this time, I wouldn’t be preoccupied disputing undisclosed dealer inventory fees while being stuck with auto-nominated Chad Pinders. Anyway, here’s my 12-team NL-Only team and the tale of how I left Grey lusting after my Wong, again:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

The Winter Meetings called it quits this week, and that was perhaps the worst Winter Meetings on record.  Was it because it was in Vegas?  Maybe there were a bunch more trades, but they all “stayed” in Vegas.  The Mariners kept busy gathering veterans who will never play for them, as they grabbed Edwin Encarnacion from the Indians for Carlos Santana.  You remember Santana, he was the last vet that the M’s traded for that won’t play for them.  If the Mariners are trading for vets who won’t actually play for them, they should grab Harold Baines so he can’t go into the Hall of Fame, because last time I checked active players aren’t allowed into the Hall.  Or why bother sticking with baseball players.  C’mon, Mariners, trade for Michael Jordan or Big Show or Turtle from Entourage.  It’s not like you have any expectation of them donning an M’s uniform.  So, the assumption is that Edwin will go to the Rays to bury their recently acquired Yandy Diaz.  You’d think a guy with guns like Yandy Diaz would be doing the burying.  If you don’t know what I mean, see the picture below.  If I don’t bring out the Crisco and apply the shortening, this post will be longer than The Fountainhead, so let’s just say you know Encarnacion, whether he’s on the Rays or Mariners.  For my Encarnacion projections I am assuming he’ll be on the Rays, and putting him at 78/33/91/.241/2 in 523 ABs, and I already gave you my Carlos Santana projections after his last trade, but am upping him slightly to 74/24/84/.232/2 in 563 ABs.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw this offseason for 2019 fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?