Before Charlie Morton (4 IP, 6 ER, ERA at 3.11) threw one pitch yesterday, the Astros greeted him with a highlight reel of some of Morton’s greatest Astros moments. Like the clip of him burning his Pirates jersey. And the clip of him pitching relatively solid for about 150 IP, then hitting a wall and never getting through a whole season. There wasn’t a dry eye in the stadium, especially on the Rays’ bench. I told you to sell Morton last month because he can’t ever complete a season. Any hoo! Morton seems headed for a 3-minute bread beep as he becomes toast, but this is about how the Astros hit multiple balls into orbit, which is also the name of their mascot’s scooch hole. Yordan Alvarez (3-for-5, 3 runs, 4 RBIs, hitting .329) hit his 20th and 21st homer in *hand-clapping emoji* 60 *hand-clapping emoji* games. Actually, stop and hand-clap emoji for a few minutes he’s such a thing of beauty. In total sincerity, if you haven’t seen him hit, go watch a clip. I see him hit homers and I’m puzzled, asking myself, “How does he not hit more homers?” And he hits a lot of homers! That’s how gorgeous his swing and ease-to-pop appears. For 2020, I’m going to fight with myself to not put him in the top 20, and I might lose. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Please see our player page for Curt Casali to see projections for today, the next 7 days and rest of season as well as stats and gamelogs designed with the fantasy baseball player in mind.
“Alexa, for Amazon Prime Day can you order me Clorox? Thank you, Alexa. Now can you order me clips to hold my mouth and eyes open? Thanks, Alexa! Now can you order me a large man to pour the bleach into my mouth and eyes while shoving me into my oven? Oh, and Alexa, if you can get German Marquez to do it, that would be so appropriate!” German yesterday? Guten tagged! Here’s a visual metaphor for you: A German U-boat filled with men, one toilet and only Taco Bell to eat for a blitzkrieg of runs. Marquez is driving me insane but he is not an Uber ally, because he is dead to me. Goodbye, Nazi In Exile, enjoy your long walks along the Chilean coast and your alpaca farm where you shave little German helmets on your animals. After 2 2/3 IP, 11 ER, ERA up to 5.12, I will never draft you again or any Rockies pitcher. I should’ve learned my lesson from Jon Gray last year! (Though, he’s been okay this year — shut up, Contrary Grey!) In my deeper leagues, where I have no choice, I’ll still be sadly starting Marquez in away games. *sees his next start is in Yankee Stadium* Lowercase yay! He might be Deutschland but I’m Dunceland for owning him. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
The Padres sent Chris Paddack down to Single-A to limit his innings. When Nick Margevicius heard the news, he said, “Damn, guess I’ll be limited too.” Padres, “Nah, you good, throw 270 IP if you can.” Paddack being sent down to the minors feels like an encapsulation of all that’s wrong with baseball. Or at least that element. That whole manipulation of young players element. Paddack won’t pitch in Single-A. He’s going for a rest. A vacay, of sorts. A little ‘how’s your father’ in Lake Elisnore at the House of Alfredo Griffindoor. He has to be back in 20 days (due to service time), and he will be. My guess is in two weeks. Why any team thinks it’s better to shut down a guy early and start them up again vs. shut them down in August is beyond me. Member how well that helped Julio Urias? He needed surgery to correct things. To put it in laymen’s terms, shut down your car in the dead of winter and restart it or leave it running while you run into CVS? Okay, maybe the Consumer Value Store scenario depends on some of your janky neighborhoods, but you catch the drift. Either way, I’m trying to hold Paddack in most leagues; he’ll likely only miss three starts. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Friday night, Milwaukee Brewers’ newest phenom/heartthrob/infielder Keston Hiura went three for four with his fourth home run and three RBI. Keston case you were wondering, Hiura is slashing .296/.345/.537 with four homers a steal and seven RBI through his first 15 games in the majors with two of those dingers coming in the past week along with a .353 batting average in that stretch. Did I mention he has a four game hitting streak as well? Well yes. I just did. Hiura has arrived, folks. Grey gave you his Keston Hiura fantasy a few weeks ago, and when he didn’t Austin Riley rake out of the gate, excitement seemed to cool a bit for the 22 year old 2nd baseman. But now’s your chance. He hit .333/408/.698 in 37 games at AAA San Antonio with 11 home runs, 26 RBI and four steals. I liked everything about that last sentence. Of his 43 hits, 24 went for extra bases. Sure, the 40 strikeouts in just 129 ABs is a bit concerning but when you’re fishing for rookie upside you casually ignore little warning signs like that. Here’s what Grey said about Keston, “He was striking out way too much in Triple-A to hit .333 in the majors, but 18/7/.270 sounds about right from this point forward with a chance for more. Maybe he could even be the NL MVP.” Methinks Grey just likes him because of his mustache, but honestly, what’s not to like! He should only be better when Milwaukee comes to their senses and moves him into the heart of the lineup. Hiura/Yelich sammys anyone? He’s currently criminally under owned in many leagues and I’d add him everywhere he’s available. This kid’s gonna be a star! Ha-cha-cha!
Here’s what else I saw Friday night in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
On a new true crime podcast, Murdered By The Numbers, the host and a former FBI agent discuss the murdering of baseballs. A serial offender coming into this year was Martin Perez. “The recidivism rates for Perez were due to his 5-ish K/9 and high-3 BB/9,” the host points out. Then the FBI agent takes us through a personal anecdote about how he captured The Golden State Killer, which ends in a Blue Apron ad. “The bloody body laid there like a halibut in a summer tomato bouillabaisse, which is just one of their great options!” Yesterday, Martin Perez showed us once again that no one is too old to be new again. Except Felix Hernandez, he’s not getting new again. Perez went 7 IP, 0 ER, 4 baserunners, 9 Ks, ERA at 2.83, as he changes all preconceived notions. His velocity is up 2 MPH and his cutter looks filthy, a pitch he is throwing nearly 35% of the time this year, because of the results he’s getting. A pitch he added just this year. See how obvious this narrative is? Pitcher adds filth and gets results. He’s not quite an under-3 ERA pitcher, but he’s usable for all leagues. He left his old crew in Texas that was a bad influence and he’s now done murdering baseballs. From RIP to rehabilitated FIP. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Christian Yelich hit his 6th homer and his…wait for it….here it comes…where’d it go…did I leave it in the car…no, it’s right here under my ass…and his 7th homer and his…crap, this one is in the car, isn’t it…nope, under the other cheek…and his 8th homer! Add in 7 RBIs and he’s hitting a zillion. Can we just crown him with back-to-back MVPs and sneak him into Ariana Grande’s room already? After he wins his 2nd straight MVP, there will still (!!!) be someone next March who is saying something like, “Grey, you are wildly handsome, but I just don’t trust Yelich. Can you talk me into him?” Which they will say right after I’ve written 1,200 words on Yelich. Doode is a beast who powers the Milwakuee’s Best. Don’t funk up my jam! Which is what Mr. Smuckers says to his wife when she messes up his DVR recordings of The Voice. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Yesterday, Ronald Acuña Jr. (5-for-8, 5 runs, 5 RBIs) hit a leadoff homer in both games of the doubleheader, and became the youngest to homer in four straight games in the live-ball era. Wistful sigh, member those good ol’ zombie dead-ball era stars? Acuña now has 17 homers and 8 steals in 66 games. Oh, I’m sorry, you my daddy? It’s hard to understand how a 20-year-old can be my daddy, but I think you my daddy. When that family that raised me told me to put mime makeup on every morning, I didn’t put it together, but now I know the one true thing in this world that only 23andMe and a gut feeling can tell me, Acuña is my daddy. I’m going to start calling him Tildaddy. Not as in ‘until I find my true daddy, you will be my daddy.’ Not Tildaddy as in what a teenager who works a cashier at a Waffle House makes his co-workers call him. Tildaddy as in sloppily jamming tilde and daddy together. You’re my Tildaddy! People keep asking in the comments where I think Tildaddy (my fetch) will be drafted next year. If you prorate his numbers out, he’d have 35 homers and 20 steals as a 20-year-old. I’m sorry, you Machado’s Tildaddy too? You Goldschmidt’s Tildaddy? ARE YOU MIKE TROUT’S TILDADDY?! He is at least a top 25 pick in 2019 and I might shock the world and shove Tildaddy in my top 15. Un…Til…Daddy shows me different. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
After going over my top 10 for 2017 fantasy baseball and top 20 for 2017 fantasy baseball (clickbait!), I move onto the one post all year that make all the ladies say ‘Ooooh…’ The manner in which those ladies in question say ‘Ooooh…’ is as such, “Ooooh…So, are we going to the mall after you’re done reading that fantasy baseball nonsense or can we go now and, while I’m shopping, you sit outside Orange Julius reading that shizz while I’m dropping buckets of duckets on earrings? And, no, we can’t go to Lush so you can play with the handmade soaps.” It’s better if we leave it at, this post makes all the ladies say ‘Ooooh…’ The ellipsis says enough, I think. The projections noted in the post are my own, and I mention where tiers start and stop. I also mention a bunch of hullabaloo, so let’s get to it. Anyway, here’s the top 20 catchers for 2017 fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
You literally can’t find a middle infielder with less than 20 homers. You can’t. Try it. See? This year there are more players with 20 homers than any other season in the history of baseball. Some conspiracy theorists have said the new commissioner, Our Manfred, is sticking Capri Sun straws into baseballs and juicing them, but this year is odder than that and deserves a better conspiracy theory. No one is hitting 50+ homers like during the Steroid Era. Only one guy is even close to 50 homers. Instead of a few guys doing insane damage in the power department, everyone is doing better, moderately. It’s the trickle down theory. If you’re not familiar with that, I’ll explain it. When Kim Kardashian first appeared on the scene, only she was smoking hot, but rather than Kim hogging the hotness to herself, it trickled down. Khloe went from a 3 to a 5, Kourtney went from a 5 to a 7, Kris went from a 6 to a 8, the two Jenner girls came of age, going from untouchable to 8’s, and even Bruce went from a zero to a three, becoming a woman that you’d throw one if you were drunk enough. This is also what’s happened in the majors. Jean Segura, and all middle infielders, went from fours or fives to 20s. Yesterday, Segura went 1-for-4 with his 20th homer, hitting .316, to go with his 30 steals. It’s going to be hard in 2017 to know if these are legitimate gains in power, for Segura and a whole slew of other players, or if half the league is going to regress. Kinda like Brody Jenner, who was so popular before Kim, ahem, came on the scene. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
With only eight games on the scheduled today we’re going to have to dig a little deeper and grind a little harder in order to get that DK cash. At first glance, Stephen Strasburg $12,900 at Arizona, Danny Duffy, $10,900 at Tampa Bay and the resurgent Chris Archer, $10,100 are seemingly attractive rosters, but to be successful in DK sometimes you have to zig while others zag. That’s why I’m rolling with Jimmy Nelson, $7,800 at San Diego today. Yeah, I’m picking on San Diego again, that’s obvious, so where’s the zig? The zig is that I think he’ll be under owned due to his 8 run loss last time out…oh but wait, only 2 of those were earned. In fact, over his last 7 games Jimmy crack corn is sporting a nice 2.35 ERA. His strikeouts have been lagging a bit with only 26 over his last 38.2 innings, but he has picked it up over the last three games with 17 K’s over the last 16.2 innings. San Diego lost Melvin Upton last week and Alex Dickerson one of the hottest schmotatos in the land is out of the line up with a hip issue. The Padres are still leading the league in Ks vs RHP with a whopping 735 or 1 per 3.65 AB. With the comfy confines of Petco to go along with the extremely depleted line up I expect Jimmy Boy to get at least 8 Ks and hopefully he can creep into double digits if he can get into the 7th and 8th innings. Now that we zigged while others zagged, who else is going to contribute?
New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well reserve your spot in the 25 Team Razzball Exclusive League set to run today to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. Wanna know what the best part is about signing up with us? The free subscription for the rest of the season to our DFSBot, that’s what! For details on the how to, please visit our Razzball Subscriptions page.Please, blog, may I have some more?