When you’re hot for two straight weeks, you’re talking in sexy whispers on my earlobes. If Avisail Garcia and Mike Trout are filming a body-switch movie, I never want it to end. For years I’ve remarked — I’m a remarker, yo! — that Avisail looks like Mini Miggy, now he’s actually hitting like him. “Miggy, that is the first time in two years we’ve made love without you screaming your back hurts,” Mrs. Miggy rolls over. Avisail Garcia smiles wickedly at the camera. Yesterday, he homered two more times (3-for-6, 3 runs, 6th and 7th homers), and now has six homers in the last week, and he hit .330 last year. Sure, we can pee in the electrical blanket by talking about his BABIP last year, but there is no excuse for Garcia being on waivers. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
No joy comes from benching your ace and having him do a shot of Visine right as he’s going to bed. “I’m just going to tuck myself in with a glass of warm milk and a Visine back.” Nope, that brings me zero enjoyment. It’s like calling your mechanic and telling him that your brakes don’t work, which you found out after the valet drove your Peugeot into a Chipotle. (Even Chipotles have valets in LA.) Car’s ruined, at least I wasn’t in the damn car, but no joy. That’s what I’m getting right now from Carlos Martinez. Yesterday, he went 4 IP, 5 ER, ERA up to 3.24, and it’s his 4th straight lackluster start in a row since returning from injury. He was on my bench, because I don’t trust him at all, but my car’s still being used as a salsa bar, and I don’t want pico de gallo on my hood! I want the ace pitcher I drafted! I have to assume C-Mart is still hurt, because it hasn’t only been the series of bleh starts, but the control in his last four games has been atrocious 20 BBs in 16 2/3 IP. Yesterday’s command was technically better, unless you consider being wild in the zone as big a problem. Sadly, he needs to stay on your bench until he either rights the ship or hits the Disgraceful List. Effin’ pico de gallo hood ornament! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
The AL East is “big boy” baseball. Four teams from the division ended 2017 in the top 10 for home runs in all of baseball. The Yankees were first with 241, the Orioles were fifth with 232, the Rays were sixth with 228….Hold up. The Rays? Yes, the Rays. The final team was the Blue Jays with 222. With great power, comes great responsibility. Unfortunatley, there was a lot of DGAF’ing, as the Rays were second in MLB for striking out and the Orioles were eighth. From a pitching perspective, it would makes sense then that three of the teams (BOS, NYY, and TOR) ended top 10 in strikeouts. TB ended 11th. Big boy baseball indeed. To cement the point home, four of the teams (BOS, BAL, TB, and NYY) were bottom 10 in sacrifice hits. TOR was 13th. Small ball, schmal ball. Chicks dig the long ball. Ladies and gentlemen, the AL East.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Based on my affinity for one Andrew Benintendi, I’m starting to think players “with the good hair” might be my thing. Why do you ask? Oh, because this whole “Benny with the flow” thing is not an isolated incident. Oh no, we have Dansby Swanson, who ranked highly on my pre-season list, I wrote a pitching profile of Mike Clevinger on Monday, another brother of the flow, and now, I introduce to you one of my favorite low minors prospects Brandon Marsh of the LA Angels. (Is that their name still?) The 2016 Angels second round pick was a Georgia prep standout who hit .559 his senior season, leading Buford, his suburban Atlanta high school, to the state championship series. After signing late in the post draft period last year, Marsh was assigned to the Angels Rookie level Arizona League affiliate, where he didn’t play a game due to a back injury. Throughout the following fall, and into the spring, “under the radar” reports on Marsh’s workouts were hitting the web, and all of them were glowing. Many praising his all around tools, and potential star ceiling; it caught my attention. Scouts, cited his plus raw power, athleticism, and the long term ability to stick in centerfield. This obviously drew some over the top hyperbolic comps to Mike Trout, but when you only have 6 prospects, and one good player, they all feel like family. Then again, he did injury his thumb sliding into a base last week, a la Mike Trout. Perhaps they are related? So, what is it about “Marshie with the Good Hair” that makes me want to go all Philandering Jay-Z/Blac Chyna with Robbie’s Amex? Well, my tulip of knowledge seeking, shutup, and I’ll tell you.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Since it was an afternoon game, Ted and I settled in to watch Max Scherzer vs. the Marlins. First inning and the slider was working. 2nd, 3rd, 4th innings and the Marlins had no chance. 5th inning and Ted demanded I take him out and play catch with him.
Ted fields like Trout but with a mouth instead of a glove pic.twitter.com/41Q7uJ2blV
— Razzball (@Razzball) June 20, 2017
115 degrees in the shade and we’re back in for the 6th inning, and Scherzer hasn’t missed a beat while missing the bats. Everyone knows everything there is to know about Scherzer. He is at least the 3rd best starter in baseball, and likely second best, though who’s first? Sale? Then Kershaw and Scherzer? I don’t know, Kershaw’s looked pretty human at times this year. Sale, Scherzer then Kershaw? Sounds about right, but need to search for other things to talk about with him. Hmm…Well, there’s always his android eyes.
Max Scherzer has heterochromia, which means he has two different color eyes. This allows him to see in 3D without the glasses.
— Razzball (@Razzball) June 21, 2017
Now back for the 7th inning and it’s more no-hitter, and, Jesus Christopher Ramirez, the Nats announcers are a bore. Let’s go mute for the 8th inning, and Dietrich gets, uh, diet rich of sliders. Now, Ellis and goodbye no-hitter. Of course, that was the point Dusty should’ve lifted Scherzer since even the announcers said Scherzer says he doesn’t want to ever throw past 120 pitches. You guessed it, he went past 120 pitches, and lost the lead, but, once again, a dazzler — 8 IP, 0 ER, 3 baserunners (2 hits), 11 Ks, ERA at 2.09. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
This might be the only Razzball article where you will find a RuPaul’s Drag Race quote, some lyrics from the Broadway musical Wicked, a reference to Matt Harvey’s sex appeal AND a Tyra banks gif. It’s no wonder some people on this site think I’m female! Here I was thinking it was just my name…Please, blog, may I have some more?
I’m at my computer checking baseball news about six months a year. Give or take about five hours here and there. On Saturday, it was one of those times I was away from my computer, due to a family wedding in Cape May. Closer change, prospect call-up. Happens when you’re away from the computer, that’s it. Call it a wrap. With Prospector Ralph in the league, there’s no chance for me. Around 6 PM, I got the dreaded text. “Lewis Brinson was called up.” Too bad I didn’t see it until about 7 PM. Had a lavender-flavored champagne in one hand, a lobster claw in the other hand, my mom was like, “You have butter dripping down your chin,” my grandfather was complaining Bruno Mars doesn’t have good choruses in his songs, and there was the text, sitting there on a locked iPhone screen. Done. Sigh. Well, if you got him, or can still get Brinson, you should. Jonathan Villar hit the DL, and, brucely, he wasn’t playing well and Keon Broxton (1-for-4 and his 7th homer yesterday) moves to a platoon role. Unless Brinson totally flames out, he’s up, and playing for good in center. In Triple-A, he had six homers and seven steals in 45 games, which is what I’d expect from him in the majors. Your basic 25/25/.280 guy. Yesterday, he hit leadoff went 0-for-2 with two walks and stole his first base. Yes, he should be owned everywhere, and could be the Trea Turner-type call-up of the year. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Something struck me the other day. Luckily, not a bus. No, it was a thought. Bus-sized thought! I was looking at Rob Neyer’s Twitter account, and he’s almost completely stopped talking about baseball and it’s all about politics. It’s like he’s taken “stick to sports” as a directive of what not to do. Occasionally, I’ll make a joke about Trump, but no more than I joke about being married to a Cougar, being a Jew who thinks he’s black, Mike Napoli’s mom’s breasts, hating C**nt Hurdle or an array of things. Honestly, I miss baseball Rob Neyer. His hot takes on politics are fine. Personally, I agree with his politics, but at a certain point doesn’t he miss baseball? He was the one person who I read religiously at ESPN. Might be the last person I’ve ever read at ESPN. The grand game misses you, buddy, come back from the MSM hot takes. Any hoo! Rudy’s title inspired me to talk on that topic, but Joe Ross. He’s why we’re here. Yesterday, he went 7 1/3 IP, 1 ER, 4 baserunners (0 BBs), 12 Ks. Is it a Mirage or is the Circus, Circus back in town and he’s a Treasure Island of Wynn (I don’t know why I’m in Vegas now.) His peripherals can go either way. His 9.7 K/9, 1.7 BB/9 and 3.48 xFIP are gorge, but his velocity is way down. Down to the point where his Hard Contact is up nearly 10% to just under 40%. The absolute worst of the worst allow Hard Contact at that rate. Yesterday was a great sign, and I’d hold or grab him, but I want to see another start before saying he’s back. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
We have our first big call-up of the major league season!!! “Yoo-hoo!” You want chocolate milk, Cody Bellinger? “I was drawing attention to myself, since I was called up first.” Oh, yeah, but you feel like you were always here. “Oh, well, that’s nice of you to say–” Shut up, Cody Bellinger! Bradley Zimmer, now this is a call-up! “I’ll be up soon!” Shut up, Amed Rosario! This is about Bradley Zimmer. Zimmer is a guy who is a speed-first, power-second, average-third guy. Actually, on base percentage second in leagues that count that sorta thing. In Triple-A, he had five homers, nine steals and a 30% strikeout rate. He looks like Keon Broxton who should be platooned out of the lineup against lefties. I will call him, Right-on Broxton. I grabbed him in all leagues where he was available, you don’t want to miss out on the first big call-up. “Seriously, are you just ignoring me?” Bellinger, you’re getting on my last nerve! For 2017, I’d give Zimmer a line around 45/10/40/.235/20. That could be the best call-up of the year. “Seriously?!” Shut it down, CB! Oh, and I’m aware that Zimmer went 0-for-3 with 3 Ks out of the nine hole, but Bellinger looked lost thru a whole two starts too when he was first called up. “Keep my name out of your mouth!” Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
If players are going to break out in a season, they don’t always break out the first week of a season. I’m reminded of another Phillies player, Dominic Brown. The year he broke out, it didn’t happen until June of that year. Of course, in subsequent years, his swing got long like Don Johnson’s in The Harrad Experiment and rather than working his way back in the cages, Brown was preoccupied with avoiding his stalker, Tehol. This brings us to another potential breakout, Aaron Altherr. Or as Mystikal calls him, Altherr. You don’t have to be scurred, he’s doing his thang. Altherr hit two more homers yesterday (2-for-4, 4 RBIs, hitting .351), and is one of the hottest players in the majors this week. Of course, this won’t continue, but to what degree will this tail off? By the way, I want to be a judge at a twerking competition called a Tail Off. In the minors, he’s shown speed (20-ish) and power (teen-ish). With his Ks and BABIP, his average will come down a long way (maybe .250), but I see no reason why he can’t be a 17/20/.250 hitter on the year, and definitely a must own. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Much like in real baseball, in fantasy, timing can be everything. On Monday, Grey mentioned that he’d like to find a term for a guy who does what Tommy Pham did this past Sunday – that is, a guy who goes off on Sunday afternoon, driving up his Sunday night FAAB price. I need a slightly different way to describe this phenomenon in my deepest NL and AL-only leagues, as both have weekly waivers that get processed on Saturday night. I’ve been in one of the leagues for years now, and I’m still not used to it. I don’t know why the founding fathers of this league thought it was a good idea to run waivers on Saturday when everyone and their dog knows that Sunday evening is the proper time to be thinking about one’s FAAB budget (hell, I half expected my computer to auto-correct when I typed the phrase “waivers on Saturday.”) I can only assume it’s to put those of us who might be extra busy/drunk/etc. on Saturday at a disadvantage, and I’m afraid that this particular strategy works on occasion. The week in 2014 that Jacob DeGrom and Anthony DeSclafani were called up, it was hardly my fault that I wasn’t sober enough to rank DeGrom ahead of Disco in my waiver claim list! It haunts me to this day, as it’s a keeper league where I would still have DeGrom at a bargain-basement price… as opposed to the three weeks of bargain-basement pitching I received before I unceremoniously dropped DeSclafani.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Greetings and salutations! The Collector here once again welcoming you to a amazing Wednesday slate over on FanDuel. We have quite a few pitchers to use today, but I’m going to focus on my boy Yu Darvish at $11,200. He’s one of my favorite pitchers in the game right now, as I love his stuff and wish/hope he’d stay healthy. Darvish’s K/9 is down a bit this year, but I expect it to start rise back to his career norm and this is the start it begins to do so. Today he gets the really good San Diego Padres… San Diego let AJ Griffin get a complete game shut out yesterday, that’s how good they are. This seems very easy to me and even though it’ll be popular, I think you need to go with Darvish today.
Now on to the picks…
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