Rob Manfred presses the button on a contraption that looks like a skinny hose, and juices spurt out. Rob looks up to the store clerk, “So, I just push this end of the hose inside the baseballs and juice comes out and balls go zoom?” “Zoom, baby, zoom.” “I’ll take 300 of them.” “You only want 300 homers?” “You’re right, I’ll take 45,000.” “Will do, Kemosabe. Hey, wanna see where I store the white pine tar that pitchers can use undetected?” “No, that’s illegal!” So, what’s this, three days in a row with a hitter hitting three homers in a game? Shizz is bizzonkers. Every year I say the same for Nelson Cruz (3-for-5, 5 RBIs and his 23rd, 24th and 25th homer) and Edwin Encarnacion. They will hit home runs until they’re 50. That’s if they’re not already 50, then make it 70. When reached for comment after the game, Cruz said, “I could’ve hit four homers, but then you find out why Mark Whiten was called ‘Hard Hittin.'” Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Please see our player page for Yasmany Tomas to see projections for today, the next 7 days and rest of season as well as stats and gamelogs designed with the fantasy baseball player in mind.
There’s nothing better than an April Fools’ prank that is so sly it’s barely perceptible as a prank. You don’t even know if it’s a gag. One year, I had a sound engineer friend make a recording that said, “This call is being recorded. A copy of that recording is available automatically to the police and the prosecutors.” Then used that to call my mom and tell her I was in jail for accidentally running down a family of four. “But mom the light was yellow!” Apparently, I overestimated how funny she’d find that phone call, and twelve years later, she still calls me the night before April Fools’ to remind me not to pull any pranks on her. This year the best prank I saw was one done by Major League Baseball. It was so slight, if you blinked you’d miss it. For their prank, they scheduled a half day on a Sunday. Since 1908, MLB has played a full schedule of games on Sunday. What a great joke! Well done, MLB. But, seriously, this is a joke, right? Any hoo! Know what’s not a joke, the love Trevor Williams has for Razzball, apparently:
Yesterday, Williams wasted no time to prove to me that his love for us is as strong as my love for him. He went 6 IP, 0 ER with zero hits, but he failed to locate as well, and walked five guys, while racking up only one strikeout. I believe his love for Razzball is only growing so this is just the beginning of great things to come. Notice spelling of ‘come,’ you sickos. On the reals, I like Williams for this year, and wrote a Trevor Williams sleeper for him this preseason. Anyway, here’s what I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
The rankings are over and it feels so good. That’s right, Castle “Grey-Shitz” is back with nothing to talk about but everything. I.E. Everything = Scott Kingery. We begin the show talking the Perts league RCL draft with the “reigning” NL-Only Tout Wars Champion Mr. Grey Albright. We then jump into our interview with Celebrity Chef Harold Dieterle, where of course “boba” comes up. Why does boba come up again? Because Grey has a problem, and it’s starting to bleed into his everyday life. Feel free to send words of encouragement below. We then talk Zack Godley, Miguel Sano, Colin Moran, Jonathan Villar, Greg Bird, and Lewis Brinson. We also send our regards to the man known as Salami Tom aka Yasmany Tomas. Finally, please make sure to support our sponsor by heading over to RotoWear.com and entering promo code “SAGNOF” for 20% off the highest quality t-shirts in the fantasy sports game. It’s the latest edition of the Razzball Fantasy Baseball Podcast:Please, blog, may I have some more?
I only wish Madison Bumgarner fractured his hand after every single person drafted, because I knew I was never drafting him. Terrible thing to say? Perhaps, but I’m not the poor schnook who was still drafting him after I said for the last three months to not draft him. I even put him in a tier originally in the top 20 starters that said, DO NOT DRAFT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES. Okay, not in that tall of a font, but the sentiment was all over that tier. I said specifically, “This is just like the above tier, and I will be avoiding it, but rather than the above guys who I actually like, just won’t draft, I do not like the guys in this tier, and would never draft them at their price. So, while I wouldn’t draft the above guys, I really wouldn’t draft these guys. Got it? Cool.” And that’s me quoting me! Of course, I can’t claim prescience that I knew he’d be hit by a comebacker, but will I anyway? Hmm… Why not?! Prescience ain’t just a word on my Word of the Day calendar that I got in a Secret Santa! So, I’ve dropped Bumgarner in the rankings, and adjusted his projections accordingly. My Fantasy Baseball War Room gets updated on the reg, as well.
This is the point where people get pissed off when I say I told you not to draft Madison Bumgarner. YOU COULDN’T HAVE KNOWN HE WOULD GET INJURED. Cool. Still said not to draft him.
— Razzball (@Razzball) March 24, 2018
Anyway, here’s what else I saw in spring training for 2018 fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
The other day I had a dream that Giancarlo and I were hosting a white party in the Hamptons, and I turned to Giancarlo and said, “You know who else I wish were here?” And he said, “Zsa Zsa Gabor?” And I said, “No, we’re not gay in the traditional sense. We’re only gay for each other.” Then he said, “Well, who do you wish were here then, silly?” And I said, “Ronald Acuna,” only I said it in exclamation marks shaped like Gregorian letters, if Gregorian letters is what you call these things I’m typing out with my hand-toes. That’s right, snitches, Greycarlo is sending out Evites and Ronald Acuna’s invited! And guess what, jerks? I also drafted Ronald Acuna on a fantasy baseball team (for SEO)! This league was hosted by CBS’s Scott White, and all your favorite ‘perts were there, like that one guy whose name you forgot, and that other guy who has diabetes who you also can’t remember. They were all there! Oh, and returning champ, our very own, Lance Broshitz! Anyway, here’s my 12-team, NL-Only draft with some thoughts:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Finally – stuff is happening! Now that there have actually been some meaningful free agent signings, injury news (nooooo, Brent Honeywell!), and we’re getting reports out of camps, it’s time to take a fresh look at a handful of situations and players within the deep-league landscape. I’m writing this just before actual spring training games start, so this will be my last chance to evaluate situations before my head is pelted with box scores and video highlights, which will no doubt cloud my judgment a bit whether I want them to or not. And since we’re talking about AL-only, NL-only, and other deep leagues, we won’t be discussing how J.D. Martinez or Yu Darvish’s values have changed. Nope, we’re all about less mainstream, but just as super-sexy topics, like how the Eric Hosmer signing might affect deep-league relevant guys like Jose Pirela. C’mon… deep-league players can be super sexy, too!Please, blog, may I have some more?
Spring Training is upon us! If I was a round pitcher filled with red liquid that could walk and talk, I’d scream, “Oh yeah!” Unfortunately, the only thing I am is round. Anyways, this time of year always reminds me of Jerry Seinfeld. We go to the doctor’s office and they tell us to wait. Then we get excited when they call our names so that we can go wait in the smaller waiting room. That’s where we are at in the baseball season. In the small waiting room. Close, yet so far. Over the next six weeks, I will be going through one division a week and will focus on the position battles for each team.
The 2018 Razzball Commenter Leagues are now open! Free to join with prizes! All the exclamation points!Please, blog, may I have some more?
Steven Souza, Michael Conforto, Avisail Garcia, Corey Dickerson, Eddie Rosario, Michael Taylor. What do those players have in common? Guys that were in last year’s top 100 outfielders post that made it out like this is Orange is the New Black and those guys were Taystee. Only then Taystee got reincarcerated and brought with her that badass b*tch Vee, and Vee then started running shizz and that white ho, who the show was originally about that is annoying AF, started getting institutionalized with panty-selling and lez ho’ing and–Well, anyway, you get the point. There’s not a ton of sunshine in this top 100 outfielders, but occasionally you do get glimmers of hope. All the 2018 fantasy baseball rankings are under that link-ma-whosie. As always, my projections and tiers are included. Anyway, here’s the top 100 outfielders for 2018 fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
We go over Adam Jones later on the podcast. Kidding, no one gives two effs about Adam Jones. I mean, I’m sure he’s a pleasant enough guy. I don’t mean no one gives two effs like a person from Boston before they all became magically woke this past weekend. I’d let Adam Jones date my daughter, if I had a daughter. Shoot, he can date my mom if he wants; I got one of those. I just want Adam Jones in my family! *snaps fingers* They’re creepy and they’re kooky, all together ooky; The Adam Jones Family. Nah, it isn’t about him on why no one gives two effs about him, it’s because of how boring he is for fantasy. Not bad boring, just boring boring. Don’t put words in my mouth. Shut up, Random Italicized Voice. Yesterday, he went 4-for-4, 3 runs and his 23rd and 24th homers, hitting .281, and had zero hits the game before, and will likely have zero hits today because he needs to level out yesterday’s wonderful with a strong helping of boring. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Yesterday, Phillip Ervin went 3-for-4, 3 runs, 4 RBIs and his 2nd home run and 2nd in as many games. This blew my mind: there was no mention of Phillip Ervin on this site since 2014, when then-prospector Scott Evans said, “We’ll have a much better feel for (Ervin) after he’s had a chance to settle in at a full-season assignment, but on the surface, Ervin looks like a potential 20/20 outfielder who’ll also help in AVG and OBP. I hope Grey reads this in three years…IN HELL!” Damn, some animosity there. Now, the real puzzler maker, as they say in the Haus of Rubik, Prospector Ralph hasn’t spoken about Ervin once. So, I took it up with Endorphin Ralph on text, and he said, “He’s a 25-year-old, slugging fourth outfielder that’s Quad-A. RUSNEY IS BETTER!!!” So, Ervin’s a former 1st rounder, who might not be anything, due to weak contact he makes too often. In Triple-A, he did have 7 HRs and 23 SBs with a .256 average. He might just be a schmotato, that cools off and vanishes, but a speed/power combo plays in fantasy if he plays, which he is. Better than Rusney Castillo? WE SHALL SEE. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?