[brid video=”196612″ player=”10951″ title=”Top 5 Sleepers for 2018 Fantasy Baseball”]
Steven Souza, Michael Conforto, Avisail Garcia, Corey Dickerson, Eddie Rosario, Michael Taylor. What do those players have in common? Guys that were in last year’s top 100 outfielders post that made it out like this is Orange is the New Black and those guys were Taystee. Only then Taystee got reincarcerated and brought with her that badass b*tch Vee, and Vee then started running shizz and that white ho, who the show was originally about that is annoying AF, started getting institutionalized with panty-selling and lez ho’ing and–Well, anyway, you get the point. There’s not a ton of sunshine in this top 100 outfielders, but occasionally you do get glimmers of hope. All the 2018 fantasy baseball rankings are under that link-ma-whosie. As always, my projections and tiers are included. Anyway, here’s the top 100 outfielders for 2018 fantasy baseball:
81. Cameron Maybin – This tier started in the top 80 outfielders for 2018 fantasy baseball. This tier goes from here until Schebler. I called this tier, “Kevin Spacey cancelled.” For one day, in October, Maybin was a hero to everyone in the Continental U.S. and Guam as he won us a free taco at Taco Bell. No purchase required. His services, unlike a taco, require purchase, unfortunately for (fill-in team that signs him). Technically, he’s not in a platoon ever, but he manages to either put himself in position to platoon, or he is nursing an injury that causes him to miss time. UPDATE: Signed with the Marlins. Jeter raises mic and drops mic. He’s done. Are you not entertained, Marlins fans?! Okay, seriously, the Marlins not only traded all of their players away, but now they’re also making it so they can’t play their rookies either? Please tell me Maybin’s not gonna start over Brinson. Please. 2018 Projections: 68/6/41/.234/22 in 358 ABs
82. Carlos Gonzalez – Signed late in camp to ruin David Dahl, Raimel Tapia and Gerardo Parra’s chances for ABs. The Rockies are the worst! They’re like the poisoned apple. “Ooh, looks yummy, I wanna taste said apple.” And now you’re dead. Sorry, apple eater! Every time there’s light on Tapia or Dahl or any rookie, the Rockies make some dumb decision to re-up a vet. Beware, Ryan McMahon owners, Mark Reynolds will be next. 2018 Projections: 61/17/64/.265/4 in 424 ABs
83. Aaron Altherr – I will say this about this tier, if they all got 500 ABs, there would be some *chef’s kiss*. Not to get all Mr. Prorater on ya, but Altherr is a 25/10/.260 guy with just another 200 ABs. And…*claps hands*…done! More? Okay, okay. You know what I see looking around the major leagues at caught stealing percentages? Davey Lopes should be a coach for every team. If I were a baseball GM, I’d give that man Lopes whatever he wanted. Were the Nats great at stealing last year with Lopes as their 1st base coach? I’m gonna say yes. Did I research that? No. Now with the Jacked Up Jew managing the Phils, I could see them running a lot, but I can’t get a picture of shirtless Gabe Kapler out of my head, so it’s difficult to picture anything. What am I getting at? Altherr can attempt 20 steals, but might get caught 19 times. 2018 Projections: 53/16/58/.281/6 in 367 ABs
84. Willie Calhoun – Already gave you my Willie Calhoun fantasy. It was written while hang gliding in a Dubai mall from a Hot Topic to a Spencer’s. UPDATE: Rangers decided to do something stupid and send Calhoun down to start the year. 2018 Projections: 49/16/51/.267/1 in 334 ABs
85. Scott Schebler – Weird thing happened last year with Schebler, he fulfilled his 30-homer promise he was hinting at in the minors, and, while doing that, he lost his everyday job, i.e., Reds said thanks but no thanks. 2018 Projections: 52/22/64/.241/4 in 404 ABs
86. Stephen Piscotty – This is a new tier. This tier goes from here until Bautista. I call this tier, “What is your Fun Quotient?” Recreational reading or quiet hobbies such as needlepoint or crossword puzzles can be taken to doctor’s appointments or other situations when you may find yourself sitting and waiting to maintain a fun quotient. This is the absolute lowest fun quotient possible. This tier is samesies. These guys have starting jobs, but might feel like doing needlepoint in a doctor’s office. As for Piscotty, here’s what I said this offseason, “Traded to the A’s. Can’t we in this post-OZUNA on the Cardinals world be honest with ourselves, Piscotty became unnecessary after OZUNA was brought in. Last year, Piscotty hit 9 HRs and .235. Sounds like the A’s have a new three-hole hitter! “Does this mean I’m out?” That’s Smolinski, who, despite his name, is not a character in a Tennessee Williams play. Can Piscotty finally fulfill his promise? Piscotty doesn’t know! And neither do I.” And that’s me quoting me! 2018 Projections: 61/20/75/.268/4 in 541 ABs
87. Denard Span – All respect to Denard Span breaking his neck to make sure his employers don’t sign Ben Revere on his checks, but why are the Rays playing Span over Mallex Smith? Seriously, put ten hand-on-chin emojis here and really consider that pregunta, because I’m straight puzzled like an ostrich trying to do a sudoku. If you have a good reason for Span over Mallex, please send it to me, P.O. Box: “You really think I’m giving you my address.” Care of: “This Shizz Is Never Reaching Me Because I’m Not Giving You My Address.” 2018 Projections: 76/9/40/.274/13 in 523 ABs
88. Kole Calhoun – Angels have really remade their squad this offseason, adding Cozart, Kinsler and Edward Pitcherhitterhands. What does all this mean for Calhoun? Nothing, but we have more people to blame now if the Angels fail than the ginger in right field. 2018 Projections: 65/20/73/.247/4 in 561 ABs
89. Brandon Belt – Went over him in the top 20 1st basemen for 2018 fantasy baseball.
90. Melky Cabrera – Everyday at-bats become more valuable the deeper the league is, so, if the league is deep, these guys have more value than the tier above them. For unstints, last year I drafted Melky super late in one of those NFBC leagues where there’s no waivers, and, in a league like that, he’s valuable because he’s good for 575+ ABs. His fantasy value per game, though, is among the worst. 2018 Projections: 72/15/74/.274/1 in 581 ABs
91. Michael Brantley – I got to thinking about how similar Brantley feels to Matt Holliday, then I looked at Holliday and saw he’s 38 years old, and was like, “How is Brantley only 30 years old? Is that in dog years?” 2018 Projections: 64/14/68/.287/7 in 442 ABs
92. Ben Gamel – Already gave you my Ben Gamel sleeper. I wrote it high on morphine, as my very optimistic projections for him show. UPDATE: Gamel is out for six weeks with an oblique injury. Vague! 2018 Projections: 51/14/52/.273/12 in 464 AB
93. Carlos Gomez – Signed with the Rays. Wow, the Rays are almost as bad as the Marlins. This is like a race to the bottom for both Florida teams (though, technically, there’s three Florida teams, and the third one, the Yankees, has more fans than the other two). 2018 Projections: 54/15/59/.248/10 in 404 ABs
94. Nick Delmonico – I juggled Delmonico around between a few different tiers. He could easily be a 14-homer, .250 guy. Then I see his last year prorates to a 30-homer, 6-steal, .270 season and my eyes light up like the Chrysler Building. Top of the Delmonico, ma! 2018 Projections: 54/19/61/.268/3 in 421 ABs
95. Josh Reddick – If only Reddick could have a full-time job! Dot dot dot. In almost 500 ABs last year, he had 13 HRs, 7 SBs and are you sure you want to see Reddick get more at-bats? By the way, something I’ve noticed with the Astros, guys you expected to steal bases — Springer, Correa — didn’t and guys you don’t expect to steal bases — Reddick, Bregman, Marwin — did. What does this mean? Haven’t a clue. 2018 Projections: 69/16/73/.283/6 in 420 ABs
96. Mikie Mahtook – Will likely compete with Leonys for the leadoff job in Detroit. Then, once they’ve got that figured out, they only need to figure out the other 98% of their team. 2018 Projections: 74/13/44/.251/10 in 561 ABs
97. Ben Zobrist – Went over him in the top 20 2nd basemen for 2018 fantasy baseball.
98. Adam Frazier – Went over him in the top 20 2nd basemen for 2018 fantasy baseball.
99. Jose Pirela – In 449 career ABs, Pirela’s hit 11 HRs and .269 while stealing five bags. Why am I picturing a Pirelli tire, then I’m slowly pulling back to see that tire on a Ford Pinto, then pulling even further back to see we’re in the Jackson Browne video, Running on Empty? 2018 Projections: 51/13/60/.255/9 in 465 ABs
100. Kevin Pillar – Here’s my column: Pillar. *tries to contain giggling* Oh, c’mon, that was gold (plated)! If you don’t get it, you must be plastered. 2018 Projections: 75/14/51/.264/14 in 552 ABs
101. Leonys Martin – Now that we’ve completely given up on Leonys, watch him break out. You don’t believe that either, do you? Yeah, neither do I. Oh, Leonys, I can’t even reverse psychology myself into believing in you. 2018 Projections: 61/12/54/.247/19 in 417 ABs
102. Jorge Bonifacio – Maybe because of his sister, Emily Goodface, I always think of George Goodface as a 30-steal guy with little power. Well, he kinda does have that no power thing going for him. UPDATE: Was suspended for 80 games for Boldenone, a controlled substance found in baby Tylenol. At least the baby Tylenol of Barry Bonds. This gives some room for Paulo Orlando to play, the Florida Project! 2018 Projections: 71/18/51/.262/4 in 521 ABs
102. Curtis Granderson – When Granderson signed with the Jays, I became ecstatic for one reason — I didn’t write the Teoscar Hernandez sleeper post that I was thisclose to writing. The signing of Grandy is the kind of move that should have people protesting in front of Rogers Centre. They should also be protesting the lack of an apostrophe after Rogers. The Jays are becoming the AL’s version of the Giants. They’ve never seen a vet they didn’t want to sign. 2018 Projections: 54/20/63/.222/4 in 420 ABs
103. Jose Bautista – To keep this hundred with a hundred raised up and underscored in red twice, Bautista is no longer one hundred. He’s barely fifty. 2018 Projections: 72/25/84/.221/5 in 509 ABs
104. Matt Joyce – This is a new tier. This tier goes from here until Broxton. I call this tier, “Whimsical.” If you have extra bench spots, and play in daily leagues, these guys could have some value at some point, maybe. It’s up to the manager’s whims. Whimsical means to have lots of whims, right? Let’s say it does. As for Joyce, he can’t hit lefties, and last year he hit .220 in the 1st half. As Biff Tannen might say, Joyce should be a cheerleader, because he’s got some serious splits! 2018 Projections: 61/18/70/.245/3 in 441 ABs
105. Jason Heyward – You know what’s great for the Cubs in real baseball, they have a lot of options. Know what’s less than ideal for fantasy? They have a lot of options. 2018 Projections: 51/14/55/.251/5 in 417 ABs
106. Raimel Tapia – Do you think MC Lyte named her firstborn, Pedia? I’m not sure, but that keeps me up at night, along with who the Rockies are going to play in the outfield. I’ve seen ABs break down for the Rockies’ outfield as Tapia ~275 ABs, Parra, ~450 ABs, Dahl ~150 ABs. I don’t agree with that. I’m flipping Parra and Tapia, because Parra hasn’t topped 400 ABs in two years, and he’s gonna be 31 in May. Plus, as far as I’m concerned, at this point you want upside, and Tapia provides that. UPDATE: With CarGo, everyone loses at-bats except CarGo, who is the last person we want getting at-bats. Lowercase yay! 2018 Projections: 44/4/28/.267/10 in 254 ABs
107. David Dahl – Why can’t the Rockies have six outfield spots? Please. Imagine all the runs they’d score if they had a DH. It would be more, that’s for sure! I should’ve made this a separate tier called, “Rockies got sugar, and I wanna be diabetic.” The Rockies make me want to sing and dance, “Catch Me (I’m Falling),” by Pretty Poison, and be super jazzy with my hands. Then, around end of March, I’ll prolly be dropping Dahl, Tapia and Parra, as the Rockies go with someone crazy in the outfield like Mike Tauchman. 2018 Projections: 25/8/32/.261/2 in 203 ABs
108. Gerardo Parra – To continue from the previous blurbs on Rockies outfielders, yeah, I don’t know who’s starting. At best, there’s one spot for three guys, and Desmond plays 1st base. At worst, the outfield is Blackmon, Desmond, and CarGo/Parra. I will say this about my Rockies outfield projections, there’s no way they happen. I’m basically hedging by giving them all ABs. More than likely, one of them doesn’t see 150 ABs, one them barely gets 200 ABs and one barely gets 300 ABs. This late I’m willing to take a flyer on all three, knowing I’m not holding any of them if they don’t have a job. 2018 Projections: 51/10/54/.283/4 in 314 ABs
109. Lonnie Chisenhall – If you would’ve told me three years ago, Lonnie and Bautista would be this close in the rankings, I would’ve said, “Who cares?” And, here we are, an incredible three years later, and I still feel the same way. 2018 Projections: 57/14/64/.276/3 in 377 ABs
110. Harrison Bader – Already gave you a Harrison Bader fantasy. I wrote it while finding out on 23 and Me that I’m 1/16th Pomeranian. 2018 Projections: 29/10/35/.251/5 in 275 ABs
111. Alex Verdugo – Already gave you an Alex Verdugo fantasy. It showed real pizzazz. 2018 Projections: 43/3/31/.278/7 in 322 ABs
112. Tyler O’Neill – Already gave you a Tyler O’Neill fantasy. It was written on a bathroom stall in limerick form. 2018 Projections: 21/10/32/.238/3 in only 207 ABs
113. Jose Martinez – Went over him in the top 20 1st basemen for 2018 fantasy baseball.
114. Matt Adams – Went over him in the top 20 1st basemen for 2018 fantasy baseball.
115. Chad Pinder – Went over him in the top 20 2nd basemen for 2018 fantasy baseball.
116. Albert Almora Jr. – I don’t believe Almora is going to hit leadoff for the Cubs all year, play 150+ games or be worthwhile to own anywhere but the deepest of leagues. Outside of that, he’s so money! 2018 Projections: 64/12/39/.281/3 in 395 ABs
117. Derek Fisher – I could’ve ranked Jake Marisnick, but what fun would that have been? Then again, how much fun are we having owning Fisher as he sits on the Astros’ bench. Wow, talked myself out of him super fast. 2018 Projections: 41/4/30/.236/14 in 278 ABs
118. Cory Spangenberg – Went over him in the top 20 3rd basemen for 2018 fantasy baseball.
119. Chris Owings – Went over him in the top 20 2nd basemen for 2018 fantasy baseball.
120. Mallex Smith – See Denard Span’s blurb above and/or Ben Revere’s. 2018 Projections: 44/3/18/.264/20 in 291 ABs
121. Jorge Soler – He’s on the precipice of breaking out or he will never break out, i.e., Soler’s about to shine or Soler’s where the sun don’t shine. Like a teamster, I’m leaning on the latter. 2018 Projections: 53/22/61/.235/2 in 504 ABs
122. Teoscar Hernandez – Before Curtis Granderson and Grichuk signed with the Jays, I wrote, “Unlike most of the guys in this tier, Teoscar doesn’t need his platoon partner to get hit by a truck or come down with a case of the #metoo’s. Teoscar is slated to leadoff and play 162 games this year. So, what’s the catch? The Jays always seem to screw up a young hitter with some kind of bizarre blahtoon, so I’m just going to assume they’ll do the same thing to Teoscar, a drink I have with jam and Oscar.” And that’s me predicting the Jays would do something dumb! Now, I have no idea when Teoscar will be playing. 2018 Projections: 33/9/30/.234/4 in 249 ABs
123. Yasmany Tomas – Full disclosure! I originally ranked Yasmany about thirty spots after this, but the more I dug in on him, the more I, uh, dug him. Kapeesh? Or if you saw the movie, Call Me By Your Name, ka-PEACH?! By the way, that was my favorite movie last year, and the year before my favorite movie was Moonlight. I’m half expecting to start listening to ABBA while enjoying it. Tomas had a busted season last year, but he’s still in Chase, he’s still only 27 and I think he’s a 30-homer guy without killing you in average. Call me by your name if your name is Crazy, but I like him. I talk Yasmany in the video too. UPDATE: With the signing of Dyson, Diamondbacks proved their chicken about starting Yasmany for 500+ ABs. With the signing of Souza, the Diamondbacks are saying Yasmany and Dyson can go blow their own horn. 2018 Projections: 28/12/33/.276/1 in 243 ABs
124. Jarrod Dyson – With the signing of J.D. Martinez in Boston, nearly simultaneously, without a blink of the eye, the Diamondbacks said, “Nuh-uh, you’re not going to show us up. We’re going to sign a player that also has the initials J.D.” UPDATE: See 1/18th of an inch above. Or 4 inches if reading to a girl. 2018 Projections: 25/1/21/.251/19 in 254 ABs
125. Keon Broxton – He went 20/21 last year, which is great, except it came with a .220 average and a 37.8% strikeout rate, which makes me think he’s not going to hit for a decent average at any point in his career. His playing time isn’t so much the manager’s whims as “How’s Ryan Braun’s back holding up?” 2018 Projections: 30/10/33/.228/10 in 297 ABs
126. Austin Jackson – This is a new tier. This tier goes until the end of the list. I call this tier, “Holy effin’ crap, we’re finally at the end of the outfielders.” As for Jackson, every time around this time of year, Austin Jackson is pegged the starter on a major league team, and every time around June, he’s relinquished the starting job or is injured. Wait a second! Carl Weathers was Action Jackson; sometimes I call Austin Jackson “Action Jackson!” Every year Austin Jackson excites people; every time Carl Weathers is in a movie it excites me! The excitement is short-lived because Carl Weathers is barely ever in movies, and Austin Jackson rarely keeps an everyday job. That’s no coincidence! 2018 Projections: 48/11/53/.261/8 in 389 ABs
127. Jordan Luplow – You know what a 10/7/.245 line is? The worst Count, because it’s bleh. 2018 Projections: 34/10/39/.245/7 in 239 ABs
128. Hunter Pence – Is it a bird? Is it a plane? Is it my 72-year-old aunt trying to throw a baseball? No, it’s The Gangly Manbird, Hunter Pence! If you have a category for Fuller House cameos, Hunter Pence moves way up in the rankings. 2018 Projections: 67/16/72/.262/4 in 521 ABs
129. Matt Kemp – Here’s what I said when he was traded, “Traded back to the Dodgers. I have a sneaky suspicion that Kemp could have one more season of 32 homers this year and be the latest Zombino. Do I have anything to back this up? Well, I could make up reasons, but, let’s be honest, it’s more of a gut thing, and gut recognizes gut with Matt Kemp. “Yo, is Kemp playing Kurtz in a stage play of Apocalypse Now?” That’s someone seeing the new Kemp body shape. Imagine he runs into Rihanna back in Los Angeles, it would be like one of those times you ran into an ex and she still looks the same and you’re a literal bean bag wearing a shirsey. Back to Kemp, I don’t even know where he’s going to play.” And that’s me quoting me! Since then, the Dodgers have proactively been trying to trade Kemp. Or Proactiv’ely, if Cameron Diaz is reading. He could move up in the rankings if the Dodgers do move him, but his body isn’t only thing bloated, so is his contract. 2018 Projections: 32/12/41/.258/2 in 227 ABs
130. Boog Powell – Is it me or do you picture Boog Powell licking his fingers of BBQ sauce saying, “C’mon, boy, squeal like a pig,” while resembling Ned Beatty? Meh, it’s prolly just me. By the way, Warren Beatty and Shirley MacLaine? Brother and sister. Warren and Ned Beatty? Not related. Hollyweird! As for this Boog Powell, um, yeah, well, that’s why I wasn’t talking about him. 2018 Projections: 58/9/49/.257/10 in 437 ABs
131. Brandon Nimmo – The center fielder for the Mets might hit 10 HRs, steal 6 bases and hit .240. Are you surprised they signed Adrian Gonzalez? 2018 Projections: 54/10/62/.238/6 in 401 ABs
132. Adam Engel – With Charlie Tilson being cut in White Sox camp, it looks like they’re doing a 180 to Engel. He’s similar to Carlos Gomez without his flashy .245 average, and more like a .205 average, i.e., he’s a destitute man’s CarGo, I will call him Glove Compartment. 2018 Projections: 54/7/48/.206/17 in 412 ABs
133. Steve Pearce – Went over him in the top 20 1st basemen for 2018 fantasy baseball.
134. Howie Kendrick – Went over him in the top 20 2nd basemen for 2018 fantasy baseball.
135. Hernan Perez – Went over him in the top 20 2nd basemen for 2018 fantasy baseball.
136. Paulo Orlando – Hey, Mets fans, it could be worst. You could be Royals fans. 2018 Projections: 58/9/51/.272/9 in 432 ABs
