Please see our player page for Stephen Piscotty to see projections for today, the next 7 days and rest of season as well as stats and gamelogs designed with the fantasy baseball player in mind.

Yesterday, Daniel Poncedeleon was called up and threw no hitter (thru seven innings and then was pulled from game while striking out three hitters, but it’s more fun to say he threw a no-hitter, so ignore this).  Incredibly, Poncedeleon is 478 years old, and he could be the ROY.  *intern whispers in my ear*  That’s an F?  What the hell is, ‘He could be a FOY?’  The fountain of the year?  What are you talking about?  Rookie of the youth?  What are you talking about?  Sorry, having a miscommunication with my intern.  Any hoo!  In Triple-A, he had a 10.1 K/9 — up my giddy! — a 4.7 BB/9 — put my roll on slow! — a 2.15 ERA — getting the fever! — with a 4.99 xFIP — so I’m taking some ‘Tussin.  He might surprise some major league lineups, but he could easily go out and destroy you.  By the way, Bartolo Colon is so intent on 300 wins that he might follow Poncedeleon wherever he goes.  On the reals, Poncedeleon’s dad in the stands after his son threw seven no-hit innings gave me the feels, especially when you figure his dad has to be at least 498 years old.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I understand why sports fans who don’t watch baseball (aka losers) are so bored during the summer. I get this similar feeling every year during the All-Star Break. Like a “WOW! So this is what it feels like?” Even just a few days without baseball feels like a punishment. I can’t imagine not being a baseball fan and having an entire summer filled with no other live sports. Sure, there is NBA/NFL free agency news going on. Which I must admit was pretty exciting this year, but still. I get so tired of the news loop and the same old stories being repeated over and over. Yes, fortunately there was a World Cup which was a truly great one to watch this year. But still.

Aside from off-season “news” from other sports and a World Cup every 4 years, the summer is a terrible time for sports. That is of course, unless you are part of the pinnacle of society known as “baseball fans.” In that case, summer is awesome because baseball is the only sport we have to focus on. There are multiple games every single day, and news stations actually report on it (kinda). All I’m really trying to say is that I now can relate to people when they say the summer sucks because there are “no sports” on. These few days have made me realize how lucky I am to be able to enjoy the game of baseball every day.

As you might have guessed from my horrendous title, I am here to discuss some outfielders that should be out there on waivers that can help your team make a big push in the 2nd half.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

*visoring your eyes with your hand, squinting at the light as you emerge from your mother’s basement*  “Hey, mom, it’s the All-Star break and I thought I’d come up to say hello.”  Where the house once stood, it’s now a Whole Foods, and you’re standing in the cheese aisle.  Confused, you approach a man in Birkenstocks, “Excuse me, is this 450 Palm Terrace Road?”  “It is.”  “Wasn’t there a row of houses here?”  “Back in March, they bulldozed this area when the yuppies won a city ordinance that says there needs to be a Whole Foods within at least three-quarters of a mile of another Whole Foods.”  You reel back, overwhelmed with how your family is gone and how you’ve been living in a Whole Foods basement.  You turn to an employee, “I need to sit down, and can I get a free sample of any cheese?”  You smile, revealing Cheetos-dusted teeth, and thus begins your All-Star break.  Tomorrow, I’ll drop the top 100 for the 2nd half, then there will be a Buy/Sell again Friday morning.  One guy who will have extra time this All-Star break will be Mike Matheny.  Last week it was revealed, Mike McNulty set up a sting operation in the Cards’ bullpen to see if everyone was doing their best with Bud “Bubbles” Norris as his informant.  Then when the Cards fired Donnie Brasco Matheny, he might’ve took his informant with him, because Jordan Hicks (1 IP, 1 ER) got Sunday’s save and Norris came down with mysterious arm concerns.  I’d absolutely grab Hicks.  You know what’s the difference between Hicks and Norris?  One makes you say, “Ooh MPH…”  The other makes you say, “Oompha.”  Also, usually I ignore trade rumors, but at this time of the year, you should be extra vigilant about backing up closers because at any point in the next two weeks a closer could get traded and you don’t want to leave it up to getting to the waiver wire before everyone else.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Nick Williams was a popular preseason breakout target.  Or tar-jay, if a soccer mom is reading.  Targot, if you just returned from Target.  Targo, if you’re eating escargot after going to Target.  Tarshouldget, if Target doesn’t carry your size.  Tarheel, if you stepped into tar then into Target.  Tarnishes, obviously means your Target carries knishes, so you must be in Brooklyn, and it’s ironic.  Tarte tatin, you’re wearing a hat made of slow roasted apples on your head in a Target.  Whatever Target applies, wanna know why Williams was a popular preseason pick?  C’mon, sit on my lap and I’ll tell ya.  Metaphorically!  Get off my lap, you weirdo!  *sprays Lysol on legs* Really wish you didn’t touch my legs.  So, Nick Williams had 15 HRs, 5 SBs and a .280 average in his last year of Triple-A, in only 78 games (!).  He’s still only 24 years old.  I know, he failed to live up to hype last year.  OR DID HE?!  Ooh, you heard of reversible umbrellas?  That was a reversal question.  Not similar at all.  He only played in 83 games last year, a sloppy prorater would say he could’ve had 24 homers last year and hit .288.  Maybe he doesn’t fully break out until next year (yes, he will be a sleeper), but he’s been hot in the last week, and on pace for another 24-homer season and has lowered his Ks.  Plus, you don’t need to go to Target to buy him!  Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Is this the end for our hero? Jesus Aguilar has made Ryan Braun (1B/OF, back strain) obsolete at first. Christian Yelich, Lorenzo Cain and Eric Thames/Domingo Santana/Keon Broxton have made Braun expendable in the outfield. He’s not helping his own case with a .235 average and a multitude of injuries. Stash or Trash: This is a tough trash because Braun has been one of the best fantasy contributors of the last decade, but I think we’re seeing the final step in his decline. He’s hurt, he’s under-performing and the Brewers have too many players at positions Braun can play. Replacement:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Yesterday, Trevor Bauer continued to keep the drool moist on his owners’ chins — 8 IP, 0 ER, 7 baserunners, 12 Ks, ERA at 2.30.  The other day some ‘perts listed their biggest surprises of the 2nd half, and one (maybe more) talked about how surprised they were about Bauer.  Yeah, shocker.  *insanely long pause, staring straight ahead*  Really, really surprised.  *just a dead-eyed stare, slowly picks up Capri Sun, sips real slow on tiny straw, lets out long burp*  Yup, no one saw that coming.  Yesterday, it was too bad, Cody Allen had an epic Kazaam — 2/3 IP, 6 ER, moving his ERA up to 4.66.  I’m just going to sit down for a second.  Aw geez, it hurts to sit.  I’m going to lie on my stomach.  Make the pain go away.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

With Aaron Nola, I should likely talk about Zydeco, but he reminds me of Paul Simon’s quote about Graceland.  Vampire Weekend was criticized for copying his signature style, which is absurd since he copied it from African artists, and Simon copped to that.  He said, “In a way, we were on the same pursuit, but I don’t think you’re lifting from me, and anyway, you’re welcome to it, because everybody’s lifting all the time. That’s the way music grows and is shaped.”  Without every great pitcher to come before, would there be Aaron Nola?  I know what I know, and I lost Nola this year.  Like I lost Carlos Carrasco and Corey Kluber previous years.  I long for them when the diamond’s on the sole of their shoes.  Every year, I have guys I’m targeting as my ace whose preseason prices aren’t out of control yet.  Well, Nola went from fringe Grey-ownership this year as possibly my ace to not going to be able to own him until he falters one year down the road.  That sucks, and not sucks as in good, but sucks as in bad.  Yesterday, Nola went 7 IP, 0 ER, 1 hit, 1 walk, 10 Ks, to lower his ERA to Marla Gibbs’ address 2.27.  When he’s on other people’s teams next year and I say I would never draft him because his price is too high, remember, I see losing love is like a window in your heart.   Everybody sees you’re blown apart, everybody feels the wind blow.  In Nola, in Nola.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Many of you might not realize this, but I try to stay consistent in advice.  When you write 3,000 words/day, sometimes things get blurred.  I like so-and-so and don’t like that so-and-so, then the first so-and-so gets cold and I no longer like that so-and-so or the 2nd so-and-so gets hot and I like him, so I no longer like so-and-so, but do like that so-and-so.  Or sometimes I’m just so-so on a particular so-and-so, but that so-so is fluid and a so-and-so can become a little more than just so-so or a little less than just so-so.  BTW, those who just Googled for “so-so fantasy advice,” welcome!  You’re at the right place.  So, my so-so feelings on Nathan Eovaldi have moved up, and he is rattling off irrefutable evidence that he should be owned.  Yesterday, Eovaldi took a perfect game into the 7th, ending up with 7 IP, 0 ER, 1 hit, zero walks, 9 Ks, ERA at 3.35, and, outside of one start in Yankee Stadium, he hasn’t allowed more than four earned runs in any start.  He’s thrown three starts with one hit or less!  Johnny Lasagna may have been exposed as a noodle arm, but the Italians still have Rachel Ray’s E-O-V-A.  Eovaldi is now at 8.2 K/9, 1.1 BB/9, 3.36 xFIP; those numbers suggest he should be owned in every league, and I’m in agreement.  The origin story film, Velo, may have received mixed reviews, but is a guaranteed crowd pleaser, and I loved Jordan Hicks’ cameo.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Yesterday, Zack Greinke went 2-for-3, 1 run, 1 RBI and his 2nd steal, hitting .300–Oops, sorry!  The only pitcher whose hitting stats matter are Shohei Ohtani, because he can’t pitch anymore.  That tracks logically.  Has any site that made Ohtani a hitter and pitcher clarified why?  Because there was public pressure to make him both?  Because he was going to do both?  Doesn’t every pitcher do both?  Ohtani’s not going to throw more than 50 IP this year, which is, what, a quarter of a full season for a starter?  That’s doing both?  I know, I’m just being a hater, but it does feel like there was a double standard given to Ohtani without him actually doing anything, and he had 25 IP thrown dating back to 2016.  Any hoo!  Greinke!  Yes, he was awesome again — 7 IP, 0 ER, 7 baserunners, 6 Ks, ERA at 3.41.  His peripherals are also one of the few pitchers who is doing well that could do better — 9.4 K/9, 1.7 BB/9, 3.35 xFIP.  His velocity is down two miles per hour and I’d be lying if I said I was going after him hard, unless, of course, he’s eligible as a hitter.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

At least they weren’t no-hit, that’s what I always say.  Then I follow it with #getstrapped or whatever 50 Cent says now.  This is not going to be out on a limb or anything, but celebrities were better when we had no idea what they were thinking.  Imagine Liberace on Twitter in the 1950’s, “YAASSS girl, I am here for this, sippin’ my tea.”  Yo, Liberace, sure YAASSS Girl’s a lot for a guy who was quoted in the Confidential as saying, “Mature Women Are Best: TV’s Top Pianist Reveals What Kind of Woman He’d Marry.”  Maybe that would’ve been awesome.  I don’t know, I’m not a time traveler.  However, if I were, I would’ve made sure everyone read my Blake Snell sleeper (segue, snitches!).  (Isn’t it weird present and past tense read are the same?  Am I the only one that never guesses right?  Any hoo!)  Tis true that I didn’t even expect Snell to be this dominant.  Yesterday, he went 7 IP, 0 ER, 1 hit, 4 walks, 10 Ks, ERA at 2.31.  He has the 7th best ERA, 19th best strikeout rate (10), 30th best xFIP (3.64), 13th best swinging strike rate (13) and 8th worst contact rates (71.2%).  Super shorthand, if you’re throwing pitches and hitters are not making contact, you’re doing exactly what you should be doing.  Hard to imagine his ERA staying quite that low all year, but he has made the jump to a top 15 starter, and maybe higher.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?