Please see our player page for Kevin Kiermaier to see projections for today, the next 7 days and rest of season as well as stats and gamelogs designed with the fantasy baseball player in mind.

The sun rising at dawn as two towheaded surfers paddle out on their longboards.  One surfer, Rob, wears a business suit and sunglasses.  The other surfer looks like Tony Hawk’s wet brother.  Tony Hawk’s wet brother asks, “Why the business threads, my brosef?”  “I’m the commissioner of baseball and could be called into action at any time.”  “Whoa, right on.”  Rob points at the ocean, cascading out in front of them, “You see this Tony Hawk’s Wet Brother?  This water as far as the eye can see?”  “I do, my brosef.”  “This is juice that I will be stuffing into baseballs.”  “Whoa, right on.” And that’s Our Commissioner Manfred surfing in the morning sun.  Yesterday, was another day for the long ball bizzonkers led by the Diamondbacks.  Leading off literally and, well, literally, Jarrod Dyson went 2-for-4 and hit his 4th homer.  Inner monologue, “You know you want to compare how many home runs Dyson has to David Dahl.  You know you want to do it, so do it.  Come on.  Compare them.”  Dyson’s having a nice year.  “A nice year compared to who?  Say it!”  Hopefully, Dyson keeps it up.  “You are the lamest!” Next up literally and literally, Ketel Marte went 3-for-5, 2 runs and hit his 16th homer.  “I dare you to compare Marte to David Dahl!”  Shut up, Inner Monologue!  I hate you!  Next up literally and literally, David Peralta went 1-for-4 and hit his 9th homer, as they started the game Dback-to-back-to-back.  Four home runs is most home runs ever hit in a row. That record is in jeopardy this year in every inning. Then not literally, Ildemaro Vargas went 2-for-5, 3 RBIs and hit two homers (3, 4). I have a hard time suggesting him because names starting with Il confuse my pea brain.  You Il Duce? No? Then goodbye!  Finally and literally, Eduardo Escobar went 4-for-5, 3 runs, 5 RBIs and hit his 16th and 17th homer, hitting .299.  Gabe Kapler said to the opposing pitcher, Jer-khoff, “Don’t blow this,” and Escobar screamed, “Did someone say blow?!”  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Zach Plesac was on the attack again Friday night holding the New York Yankees to just two earned runs on six hits in seven innings, he walked one and struck out five for his first career win. All this coming after another seven inning one-run gem last week in Chicago where he struck out seven. I’ve now learned to have blind faith in whatever young starting pitching prospect Cleveland brings up. Zach is now rocking a 1.86 ERA, 0.88 WHIP and a 14/3 K/BB through his first three starts, two of which came against fairly potent lineups (Boston and NY). Yep, I’ve seen all I need to see here. Where do I sign? I want to own the next Bieber/Clevinger before anyone else gets wind of this. Fun fact!  Zach’s uncle Dan also won his first start against the Yankees in 1986 and even lost his first against White Sox! How cool is tha-ZZZZ. I mean, way cool! In nine starts in AA/AAA this year, Plesac was 4-1 with a 1.41 ERA, 0.78 WHIP and 56/7 K/BB! Uhh, yes please! Batters hit just .185 against him. So this isn’t exactly coming from nowhere. Sure, he has a bit of a limited arsenal which could catch up to him his second time through the league, but for now it’s all hands on deck. Uncle Dan gives him his full endorsement! He gets the weak Cincinnati Reds line up next week and I’d own him wherever I needed starting pitching help.

Here’s what else I saw in fantasy baseball Friday night:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Cavan Biggio will be promoted today to join Vladimir Guerrero Jr. Soon, Bichette will join Guerrero and Biggio and the Jays’ master plan to reunite the 2005 All-Star Game in the luxury boxes will be complete.  “How’s Darin Erstad Jr. look?”  “More like Darin Ersatz!”  “I don’t get it.”  “Ersatz means an inferior substitute.”  “Is that some thinking man’s humor? I don’t like that.”  That was overheard in the Jays’ front office.  Here’s what Prospect Mike said about Biggio this preseason, “At 23, Biggio had a solid 2018 campaign at Double-A. He hit .252 with 26 homers, 20 steals, and a walk rate of nearly 18%. He has the pedigree and patience to make it in the pros and the power to hit 20-25 homers, but he also strikes out a lot and I’m not sure what position he’ll end up at. This could mean he ultimately finds a role as a super-utility type like a Swiss Army knife. Speaking of which, anyone know where Grey is, I want to harvest his liver.”  Okay, what now?  This year, Biggio cut down on his Ks, and held his walks, hitting .306 in Triple-A, while adding in his usual mix of power and speed.  I imagine he takes over for Sogard and hits leadoff. Sogard? So long!  I added Biggio everywhere I could because I have a sickness for upside.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

The Orioles are on pace to give up 1,776 home runs, because they’re close to our nation’s capital, and that is a great figure, a historic number.  A cannot be imitated — help me out here, Captain Lou Albano — never duplicated number.  Scratch that, they’re now on pace to give up 1777 home runs because of the Battle of the Assunpink Creek. That was also the title of the Pink concert when her stretch pants were a little too skimpy in the back.  “I see your Assupink Creek 2017.”  Great show, the aerobatics alone.  So, I try to avoid making every lede about hitters in Coors or facing the Orioles, but here goes, because Gleyber Torres has 14 homers against the O’s in five games and 12 homers on the year.  There’s math involved in that number.  He went 2-for-5 with his 11th and 12th homers.  Next up, literally, Brett Gardner (3-for-4, 1 run) hit more doubles than the sketchy guy at the craps table who kept betting the horn and looking over his shoulder.  DJ LeMahieu (2-for-4, 2 RBIs, HR) was on the ones and twos, but mostly on the ones, since he hit leadoff and his 4th homer.  Gary Sanchez (2-for-4) hit his 15th long ball and don’t mention hitting balls around Gary, he crosses his legs.  Then there’s Thairo (2-for-4, 2 RBIs, HR), who should be on the Iron Throne, but that’s a hot internet take, and I’m here for cold ones, but he even has three homers because Our Commissioner Manfred sticks Capri Sun straws into balls and juices them up.  If you learn nothing else from this post, and you might not, stream all hitters vs. the Orioles.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Kinda obsessed with our Top 100 Fantasy Starts tool (not a tool as much as it’s a free list).  Since I’m writing this on Sunday, I’m not sure yet where Shane Bieber and his 9 IP, 0 ER, 5 hits, zero walks, 15 Ks will rank, but my guess is 1st or 2nd overall.  (The tool (list?) updates after this is posted.)  Pretty deep into the season to have Shane Bieber throw possibly the best start of the year.  Bieber was the youngest Indians pitcher since 1987 with 12+ Ks — wow! — the last to do it was Greg Swindell — um, all right! Bieber was the 4th youngest since 1908 to have a 15-K, zero-walk game, the other three:  Gooden — crazy! — Kerry Wood — nasty company! — and Vince Velasquez — well, um, he had a good game.  Only two Indians starters in history with a shutout, no walks and 15 Ks are Bieber — damn! — and Luis Tiant, who at 78 years old just beat up my autocorrect for changing his name to Luis Taint.  Sunday’s start shows why I wanted to draft Bieber in every league.  Hopefully, he keeps it gong…gong…go I ng–Sorry, my autocorrect is scared to change anything now.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Bologna gets a bad rap. Is it because of it’s association to baloney? Or maybe blame should be given to it’s American counterpart, the hot dog, which, because of it’s processed meat nature, is linked to type 2 diabetes, cardiovascular disease, cancer, and high mortality. I sat in the all-you-can-eat pavilion at Dodgers Stadium and put down over 10 Dodger Dogs, and I’m still ticking. Doctor: Your blood pressure is abnormally high for a man of your age. Can you think of any reason why? Me: Nope, I eat an apple a day, so I’m still trying to figure out why I’m in your office. Hot dogs can’t be that bad, right? Dodgers Stadium sells them for $6.75 a pop and they sell around 2 million every year. Fine, they aren’t great for you, but they aren’t the worst. In fact, they provide some utility and have value. Just like Kevin Kiermaier, who was dropped in 8.4% of ESPN leagues the past week to bring his ownership down to 26.8%. Trash or treasure?

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I was low on David Dahl going into the season for just this very reason. Here’s what I wrote in the comment section on why I had Dahl ranked as my 90th ranked keeper:

“2015: Spleen, knee
2017: Ribs, back
2018: Foot

The injuries are just stacking up with this guy unfortunately. He’s like Eugene from Hey Arnold!

Even if he is claiming he’s 100% I worry about any adjustments/over-compensations he might do to avoid getting hurt again. Some players are just injury-prone unfortunately regardless of how skilled they are.”

Early reports from the Dahl household are that he’s only going to miss the 10-day minimum with this abdomen injury, but he’ll likely get hurt again.. Pick Up: Kevin Kiermaier (20.5%.) Replace one power/speed oft-injured outfielder with another? 

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Mike Clevinger is old school.  Not old school like really old school, but instead what we’d consider old school.  Ya know, good.  That’s one adjective for old school nowadays.  Like things were once better.  Of course, shizz was sideways with grabby hands and unhappy people during old school times too, but there’s a Gaussian blur of nostalgia that washes over people to make them think old school is good.  So, Mike Clevinger is old school like that.  He’s also old school in that he can throw a lot of pitches.  Not really old school like when Vida Blue used to throw 175 pitches by the 3rd inning, get an arm transplant then come out and throw another 100 pitches with a groundskeeper’s arm sloppily attached to his shoulder.  Nah, not real old school, but old school as we think about it in the new school.  That’s Mike Clevinger.  A youngish starter (he’s 28) who can throw 200 IP, when so many other starters are lucky to get through 150.  Yesterday, Mike Clevinger went 7 IP, 0 ER 1 hit, 3 walks, 12 Ks as he did exactly what I expected from him when I said he was a number one starter coming into this year and you said, “Grey, you’re handsome as fudge, but Clevinger is a #2.”  Nah, you’re doing a number two out yo’ mouth, Clevinger is a number one.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?