As we continue our 2018 fantasy baseball rankings, we head into the homestretch of ranking hitters. For those confused, homestretch isn’t when you shoot up late at night, remembering there’s a Dorito under the couch and go reaching for it. That is the opening to my short film, Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dorito. The main character has just been “Frito-laid off” and is described as Pringley and Ruffled. Last year, this post had Aaron Judge, Domingo Santana, Josh Bell and Hunter Renfroe. Well, they’re not all gems. My point (PLEASE!) there is some value to still be found in the outfielders, it’s just a matter of finding it, like in the landmark film, Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dorito. As with the other rankings, my projections are included and where I see tiers starting and stopping. Anyway, here’s the top 80 outfielders for 2018 fantasy baseball:
61. Dexter Fowler – This tier started in the top 60 outfielders for 2018 fantasy baseball. This tier goes from here until Bradley. I called this tier, “J. Scooting Herduardones Gonillar, the Thames.” Guess I should’ve added a few more names to the tier name, but excuuuuuuuuse me. This tier is so boring AF I need to move on. Top 100 films of all-time on the boring AF list is, “This Tier,” and The Florida Project, in a tie. As for Fowler, I’ll just say Dexter Fowler is Shin-Soo Choo minus a few years. Call him, Choo Choo Spring Chicken? Sure, why not! 2018 Projections: 73/17/78/.266/11 in 480 ABs
62. Corey Dickerson – Over the course of his career, in a 162-game season, Dickerson is a 80/27/80/.280/3 player, and he’s only 28 years old, coming off his best season. I know, that was surprising to me too. Of course, some of that came on the Rockies. Drilling down to specifics, his walk rate went down last year, he’s got a pretty bleh strikeout rate, he swings a ton and misses, and is not very patient. Don’t see any upside here, but he’s likely underrated for reasons previously mentioned, before they were undercut by the rest of the specifics that were also mentioned. Focus! Or if a network guy from Standards and Practices is reading, BLEEP! UPDATE: Traded to the Pirates. From Pittsburgh to Tampa is just about neutral, culturally and baseballically. Baseballically is defined as Norman Rockwell with throat cancer from chewing tobacco. The only iffy on the snafu is there’s no more DH and Pirates have two locked-in OFs and a bunch of other guys who can play in place of Dickerson, so Dickerson may lose 45-70 ABs. 2018 Projections: 72/24/65/.272/2 in 497 ABs
63. Jackie Bradley Jr. – It’s not out of the realm of realism to think JBJ could luck into a 24/10/.270, top 40 outfielder season. I mean, after all, this guy once walked multiple times in one game! 2018 Projections: 72/20/84/.256/8 in 531 ABs
64. Delino DeShields – This is a new tier. This tier goes from here until Odubel. I call this tier, “Prince Charles.” This one time I was in the post office, waiting in line to mail something. It had the postage on it, and I didn’t think I needed to wait in line. I figured I just had to put it in a slot to be mailed, but I didn’t know where that slot was. So, I walked up to the window and said, “Can I just drop this off somewhere?” At that point, a 85-year-old woman who was in line started yelling, “Oh, he thinks he’s Prince Charles! He doesn’t need to wait in line! Yeah, he’s Prince Charles!” Then everyone in line started chiming in with her, “Yeah, who are you, Prince Charles?” What I think that pack of people who were verbally attacking me meant was, I’m above waiting in line and I think I’m Prince Charles. All of the guys in this tier have had moments in the past where we thought they were going to be great, like Prince Charles, and, who knows, maybe they can still be Prince Charles. As for Delino, He had 6/29/.269 season last year, and is projected for 10/31 this year by Steamer in only 138 games. However, I think he’s been projected for that line every year for the last three years. This could be the year! Dot dot dot. Or not. Yo, Delino, you Prince Charles? 2018 Projections: 71/8/42/.252/33 in 462 ABs
65. David Peralta – I’m coming at this one from a very specific place. I want Ketel Marte to hit in one of the top two places in the Diamondbacks’ lineup, and move Peralta down to around the five or six hole. That’s a bit of a gut call, since last year Peralta hit predominantly in the top of the order. I’m moving him down the order, because he’s a 15/8 hitter. Now ask me if I have at any point in the past I’ve filled out a major league lineup, and does it matter where I want Peralta hitting. 2018 Projections: 74/16/67/.273/7 in 509 ABs
66. Aaron Hicks – He went 15/10 last year in barely a bit more than a half season. Don’t make me buzz Mr Prorater to tell you how good that is over a 162-game season. There’s also a small problem that Hicks has had great half seasons before and never played a full season. He is the perennial season is half full. I will call him, Pollyanna Hicks. 2018 Projections: 57/14/63/.255/13 in 427 ABs
67. Lewis Brinson – I already gave you my Lewis Brinson fantasy. It was a thing of booty…It was a thing of booty…It was a thing of beauty mispronounced, which was appropriate since its general gist is right but he’s no longer on the Brewers. I’ll swallow the medicine that I wrote a post about him on the Brewers because color me fired up to draft him! Doode is a pineapple sundae waiting to take over the world. Last year, he went 13/11/.331 in 76 Triple-A games, and he’s ready. He also appeared on Prospector Ralph’s top 50 prospects for 2018 fantasy baseball. 2018 Projections: 67/18/64/.258/17 in 509 ABs
68. Steven Souza – I almost wrote a Stephen Souza sleeper post. It went like this: Something something. See, because I didn’t write it! It didn’t go like anything. C’mon. You mental? If I had wrote it, it would’ve said how his K-rate came down, his walk rate went up, and there’s noticeable differences in his plate discipline to back up these gains. He swung (swang?) at less pitches inside and outside the zone, while making more-slash-better contact. His HR/FB% was a little silly high, but he could hit more fly balls, and his average distance on home runs wasn’t pee-poor. Obviously, the Rays aren’t great, but Souza can play that funky white music for anyone. UPDATE: Traded to the Diamondbacks. You know when you lose a girlfriend (or wife, for some of your sadder beanbags) and your natural inclination is to work harder to make the next girlfriend like you? Your last girlfriend said you never went out with her and her friends enough! You always complained about that tapas bar she liked to go to! You used to insist her friend Robin used to be a man who went by the same name, Robin! But with this new girl, you’re not going to make the same mistakes. And, sure enough, the new girl doesn’t like you for different reasons. This seems like what’s going on with the Diamondbacks. J.D. Martinez refused to re-sign with them, and now they’re going out and being aggressive suitors for everyone. Jarrod Dyson? Sure, what the hey! Souza? And the band played on! Why won’t all this work? Because they’re putting in a freakin’ humidor! UPDATE 2: Souza was diagnosed with a right pectoral strain. The pectoral strain is different than the pastoral strain, which affected Grandmother Moses earlier work when she was depicting sheepherders getting lap dances from sheep. A pectoral strain is likely a shorter rehab stint for Souza, than the original prognosis of a shoulder strain, but I’m still docking him a month of his projections. 2018 Projections: 76/20/61/.243/6 in 439 ABs
69. Odubel Herrera – He had a solid 2nd half last year for batting average, to which I yawn in Odubel’s general direction. A .323 average in the 2nd half is great, terrific, adjective, but three steals and eight homers isn’t exactly buttering the biscuits, it’s not walking the dog, and it’s definitely not winning you a fantasy league. 2018 Projections: 81/15/69/.283/13 in 534 ABs
70. Adam Duvall – This is a new tier. This tier goes from here to Grichuk. I call this tier, “$1,329,063.” By the tier name I mean, if these guys got 500+ ABs, they’d be so money. However, that money would be like the $1,329,063 bill in the Mad Magazine board game, because all of these players would drive you a little mad with strikeouts, a low batting average or just not very good against same-handed pitchers. I.e., it’s good they’re only facing half the pitchers. As for Duvall, he’s starring in the millennial love story, ‘Fifty Shades of Gentrification,’ where Cincinnati decides it’s best to let other players roam the area where Duvall made himself comfortable. You might get lucky with a 30-homer guy crazy late, but you might also have a bench player. 2018 Projections: 62/24/71/.252/3 in 461 ABs
71. Mark Trumbo – He’s like Shin-Soo Choo without the speed, and more power, and less average, and nothing like Choo. Let’s call him, Who Who Choo? Yup, that works! There is a shizzton of outfielders that we’re all well aware of, huh? Trumbo and Souza in the tier makes me want to call this a sub-tier, “And the band played on, starring Matthew Modine.” Fun Anecdote Alert! Cougs was working on a film with Matthew Modine, and he was sleeping on the other producer’s couch, and Cougs was legit worried that he was gonna ask to sleep on our couch next. I was like, “Bring it on!” By the way, there’s also a lot of outfielders who have other position eligibility, who I’ve gone over before. This is a ‘no dur’ comment, but I mention it because A) I’m full-on dur. B) While there’s a ton of outfielders, if they’re eligible elsewhere, they prolly won’t be used as outfielders. C) There’s no C. UPDATE: Out for a month with a Grade 2 quad strain. That’s the grade when all strains enjoy poop jokes and start to inherit their parents’ casual racism. 2018 Projections: 62/26/74/.243/1 in 474 ABs
72. Nick Williams – I kinda wish I could see 500 ABs from Williams and his platoon-mate, Aaron Altherr, but, to see that, Rhys Hoskins would need to get hurt — blasphemy! — or Odubel would need to get injured, and we’ve already lost one ODB. RIP, Dirt McJesusBaby! 2018 Projections: 58/16/65/.251/6 in 410 ABs
73. Joc Pederson – He hit .204 with one homer last year vs. lefties. Man, that is awful. *sees what he did against righties* Okay, so a little better. 2018 Projections: 58/24/67/.248/5 in 412 ABs
74. Austin Hays – Already gave you an Austin Hays fantasy. It had so much to give, and you just took, and took, and took. A quick note about Hays. Don’t put your baby batter on a cracker and make your classmates eat it. Wait, that’s haze, not Hays. C’mon, Siri, help out a guy here! When I wrote my Hays fantasy, I was under the assumption he’d be down in the minors until June. Then I screamed, “Help, I’m stuck under an assumption,” and I remained there for six days eating nothing but these crackers some frat boys left me. Ew! I haven’t changed Hays’ projections yet, but it’s starting to look like he may start the year on the O’s and get another 100+ ABs. He also appeared in Prospector Ralph’s top 50 prospects for 2018 fantasy baseball. 2018 Projections: 54/17/67/.270/6 in 334 ABs
75. Jesse Winker – Didn’t Christina Applegate play a character named Jesse Winker? No? Okay. Winker bridges the gap between what can be a valuable baseball player vs. a valuable fantasy one. Unfortunately, there’s a toll on the real baseball player side of the bridge, and Winker doesn’t have any cash on him and forgot his EZ Pass. 2018 Projections: 62/16/54/.284/4 in 402 ABs
76. Max Kepler – *a ghost clangs chains* I lift my stocking cap head, “Could you be a little quieter? I’m trying to sleep.” *clangs chains* “I’m the Ghost of Past Sleepers, and it’s hard for me to be quiet because I’m carrying around chains.” You know past sleepers leave a little something to be desired when you look at their stats, and you wonder what on earth you were thinking last year when you called him a sleeper. And by ‘you,’ I mean ‘me.’ I imagine with Kepler I saw a guy that had 18 steals in Double-A, and had 25-homer power, so maybe a 25/15/.270 was in the works. However, Kepler needs to hit against lefties immediately or he will be a platoon guy, since him vs. lefties is not very good, to the Max! 2018 Projections: 61/18/67/.272/7 in 441 ABs
77. Kevin Kiermaier – Reminds me a lot of Cameron Maybin. Doesn’t have Maybin’s speed, has more power than Maybin, will hit for a better average–Okay, he has one thing in common with Maybin — Kiermaier can’t ever stay on the field. 2018 Projections: 71/17/54/.261/16 in 403 ABs
78. Randal Grichuk – The Jays really didn’t want to play Teoscar Hernandez, huh? I wonder if Vladimir Guerrero Jr. will ever get a real shot with the Jays because I honestly cannot remember the last time they gave a young hitter a shot. Was it Brett Lawrie in 2011? Here I thought Brett Lawrie scarred me for life, but the Jays are shook. Grichuk went from the Cards to the Jays this offseason, which is a good move for Grichuk’s chances since the Cards have more outfielders than a Jamaican has jobs. What’s not so good for Grichuk is his strikeouts. 2018 Projections: 51/25/62/.235/4 in 424 ABs
79. Victor Robles – This tier goes from here until the top 100 outfielders for 2018 fantasy baseball. I call this tier, “Kevin Spacey cancelled.” By the tier name I mean, Kevin Spacey was fired from House of Cards for trying to bump and/or grind on a 14-year-old boy. While that is shameful, what is also shameful is how bad House of Cards was. By Spacey’s actions, Netflix got to cancel an already garbage show. All of the guys in this tier need a Kevin Spacey getting cancelled to get full-time playing time. As for Robles, I already gave you my Victor Robles fantasy. It was written while substituting sugar for Truvia. 2018 Projections: 48/6/53/.275/18 in 405 ABs
80. Hunter Renfroe – Sometimes I like to watch Hunter Renfroe hit home runs. They are gorge. I put one of my favorites in below the blurb. Of course, he might only hit .230. I go over Renfroe in the video, too. 2018 Projections: 55/24/68/.241/3 in 429 ABs
