Briefly alluded to Stephen Piscotty in yesterday’s roundup and how I’d love to the see the A’s go deep in the playoffs. Do I think they will? Can pigs fly? No, though, Puig can hit deep flies, and lick inanimate objects like he’s a fly regurgitating his food. The A’s have two starters and they’re named Mike Fiers and Edwin Jackson (5 1/3 IP, 2 ER, 6 baserunners, 7 Ks, ERA at 3.18). So, that’s an uphill battle as they say on the way to the soap box derby starting line. They do have a well-balanced offense, which is a little crazy when you think about their home park. Ron Jeremy has less foul territory. Oakland is a top five offense, and their park, as it always has been, is a bottom five park for offense. That’s so backwards it’s like, “I’m getting so lucky on Tinder recently!” Then finding out you’ve actually been opening 23 and Me and you’re banging your cousins. At the forefront of the A’s attack — A’stack? — is obviously Khris Davis (2-for-4, 2 runs, 1 RBI), but ‘a little dab will do ya’ with Semien (3-for-5, 1 run, 5 RBIs), every Semien encounter begins with a Martini (3-for-6, 3 runs, 2 RBIs and his 1st homer), and Matt “Thank God I’m Not Matt Olson” Chapman (2-for-4, 2 runs, 2 RBIs) has been on one since July, but Stephen Piscotty is having the year everyone expected from him when he was on the Cards. I know he had some personal issues, but he might be the first player ever to not be better on the Cards vs. anywhere else they’ve gone. Piscotty went 2-for-3, 2 runs, 4 RBIs and hit his 26th homer with back-to-back huge games, and in the last 20 games, he’s hitting .338 with eight homers and 26 RBIs. For 2019, what can he do? Piscotty doesn’t know! Piscotty doesn’t know! But I do. He can do what he’s been doing this season, a solid third outfielder with 2nd outfielder upside. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
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I hope everyone out there in the deep-league world is enjoying the summer and hopefully some time off (without having things like family time and luxury vacations taking TOO much time away from the world of fantasy baseball!) We’re about at the actual halfway point of the season, and the All Star Break will be here shortly – I feel like I’ve already put a season’s worth of work into some of my teams, but I don’t want to let up now, even though I’ve had many moments lately where it’s felt more like a job than a hobby. I hope your leagues have been treating you kindly, and let’s get right to looking at some names that might be of interest in AL-only, NL-only, and other deep/deep-ish leagues.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Yesterday, Zack Greinke went 2-for-3, 1 run, 1 RBI and his 2nd steal, hitting .300–Oops, sorry! The only pitcher whose hitting stats matter are Shohei Ohtani, because he can’t pitch anymore. That tracks logically. Has any site that made Ohtani a hitter and pitcher clarified why? Because there was public pressure to make him both? Because he was going to do both? Doesn’t every pitcher do both? Ohtani’s not going to throw more than 50 IP this year, which is, what, a quarter of a full season for a starter? That’s doing both? I know, I’m just being a hater, but it does feel like there was a double standard given to Ohtani without him actually doing anything, and he had 25 IP thrown dating back to 2016. Any hoo! Greinke! Yes, he was awesome again — 7 IP, 0 ER, 7 baserunners, 6 Ks, ERA at 3.41. His peripherals are also one of the few pitchers who is doing well that could do better — 9.4 K/9, 1.7 BB/9, 3.35 xFIP. His velocity is down two miles per hour and I’d be lying if I said I was going after him hard, unless, of course, he’s eligible as a hitter. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
To paraphrase DJ Khaled, “We got a Minor key alert! Another one.” To paraphrase the cops that arrested Principal Rooney, “This is because of the Minors.” *Donald Trump looking at the Rangers’ rotation* “Glad to see Cole/Minor’s jobs are secure.” Over Mike Minor‘s last four starts, he has a 2.06 ERA, 18 Ks, 5 BBs and 15 hits in 26 innings, after his sparkling one last night when he threw 7 IP, 0 ER, 1 hit, zero walks, 5 Ks, lowering his ERA to 4.64. I know what you’re thinking, it was vs. the Padres. Right, one of those starts was, the other ones were the Astros, Twins and Rockies. So, it’s not all smoke and Minors. Minor’s peripherals are nothing to write home about (unless his family lives in the Appalachian Trail, then they might like to hear from a Minor) — 7.4 K/9, 2 BB/9, 4.50 xFIP. So, it’s been a good run (not Niko), but I can’t say I trust him in the big picture, unless it’s about Cole/Minor’s daughter, Loretta Lynn, played with spunk by Sissy Spacek (Spunky Spacek? Sissy Spunkit? Spunky Spunkit?). Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
This weekend I went to Palm Springs to see the in-laws, and I was saying to Father Cougs that I wished I bet on the Phillies to win the World Series back in November when we were in Vegas. He replied, “With all that blog money you have?” Then I went to the bathroom and told my reflection, “One day they’re not gonna laugh at you! I promise you that Reflection Grey!” Then, while sitting in a stall, I listened on my iPhone to the theme from Rocky, Gonna Fly Now, and stabilized my ego. Trying hard now! Gettin’ strong now! Gonna fly now! Any hoo! The newest favorite son of Philadelphia, Jake Arrieta, joined an already underrated starting rotation. I’d contend (for the welterweight championship) that Arrieta isn’t even their ace, that label goes to the guy draped in Mardi Gras beads, Nola. For a while, it appeared Arrieta was headed to Philly. I hear the hold up was due to Arrieta unable to find a special type of umbrella. “Do you have an umbrella that blocks thrown batteries?” In the top 40 starters, I said, “At this stage in Arrieta’s career, I don’t see his value changing much no matter where he signs. If he goes to Miller Park, Chase or Coors, then I’ll lower him a little, but I see no way I raise him up outside of a move to Petco, which doesn’t seem likely, because the Padres are playing for 2020, then, in 2020, they’ll be playing for 2023.” And that’s me quoting me! See, so nothing really changes, and I’m not looking to draft Arrieta suddenly, but a solid real world move for the Phils. Anyway, here’s what else I saw in spring training for 2018 fantasy baseball:
Psyche! Before we get into the roundup, there’s a $10 league signup today that needs some people. When we did the polling of what youse wanted in your fantasy leagues, a large majority of you wanted paid leagues, but I’m getting the feeling we may not be doing them next year, and go back to all free leagues. You don’t want to bet $10 to win $100 that you’re better than eleven others? C’mon, put that Jimmy John’s sub money where your mouth is! Hey, I could write ad copy. Anyway, the roundup:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Steven Souza, Michael Conforto, Avisail Garcia, Corey Dickerson, Eddie Rosario, Michael Taylor. What do those players have in common? Guys that were in last year’s top 100 outfielders post that made it out like this is Orange is the New Black and those guys were Taystee. Only then Taystee got reincarcerated and brought with her that badass b*tch Vee, and Vee then started running shizz and that white ho, who the show was originally about that is annoying AF, started getting institutionalized with panty-selling and lez ho’ing and–Well, anyway, you get the point. There’s not a ton of sunshine in this top 100 outfielders, but occasionally you do get glimmers of hope. All the 2018 fantasy baseball rankings are under that link-ma-whosie. As always, my projections and tiers are included. Anyway, here’s the top 100 outfielders for 2018 fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
On the podcast coming later today, I felt a reverb. Luckily, I do everything while standing in a doorway because who has time to run to a doorway in the event of a earthquake? This reverb wasn’t God practicing his spinning of tectonic plates. Oh no. This reverb wasn’t Dr. Dre messing with Technics either. No siree, Bob. This was the Padres trading Brandon Maurer and Trevor Cahill to the Royals for Matt Strahm, Travis Wood and Esteury Ruiz. Damn, San Diego, save some of the trading deadline hype for other people. Okay, I’m laying it on too thick. This trade is okay for both teams. Royals appear to have playoff aspirations, and get bullpen depth that they should never use in Maurer and Cahill, who has some of the most extreme splits I’ve ever seen. In Petco: 0.72 ERA; elsewhere: 5.75 ERA. Goodbye, my old friend! Of course, this means Brad Hand officially officially becomes the closer. Wouldn’t totally shock me to see Hand dealt — to who? Phil Ivey? — and Maton become the closer, but that’s more for NL-Only. Matt Strahm is an interesting name for NL-Only leagues for next year. As of now, he’s out after knee surgery, and he’s from the crazy Ks and crazy walks variety show, Krazy BBs. By the way, I believe Esteury Ruiz is Rio Ruiz with a badly thought out new name in the Witness Protection Program. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Oakland promoted Franklin Barreto this weekend, and a friend of mine who I only see when he’s mowing my lawn said, “You got to go to The Mission if you really want a Barreto.” Recalling my 1600 Yelp reviews of every Chipotle in Los Angeles county, I exclaimed, “No way, Jose!” But he replied, “Mr. Grey, my name is Julio.” Then we laughed, and, even though he laughed with jajajajaja and I laughed with hahahaha, we found a common ground. As for fantasy, Prospector Ralph said, “Barreto offers hard contact, some speed. Gets caught a lot, and who knows how much the A’s send him. He’s exciting though. Upside guy with a low floor this season. Now can I go back to bitching about Tanaka?” There ya go! Right from the prospect whore’s mouth! I tried to get Barreto in all of my leagues, but, alas, he was gone. Yesterday, he went 2-for-5, 1 run, after homering in his first game on Saturday. He’s worth a flyer in all leagues in case he sticks with Semien. Ew. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Our Commissioner Manfred presses his intercom, “Please escort in the Guatemalan baseball stitchers.” Manfred’s secretary brings six men dressed in blanket ponchos and straw hats. Their leader steps forward, “Mr. Manfred, the Capri Suns you have us using to juice the balls is not working.” Their leader pulls out a baseball that is dripping with Ecto Cooler. Manfred turns in his seat, silhouetted with the setting sun. He lights a Virginia Slim 120 and pulls, coughing slightly. “I no longer want the balls juiced. Now….I want you and your friends to go to Dodger Stadium and blow.” “Mr. Manfred, we are not sex workers!” “Not blow like that! Put your lips together and blow.” “Like Bogey and Bacall?” “Yes! Now go!” …And this was how Dodger Stadium became a launching pad. Yesterday, Corey Seager (4-for-5, 6 RBIs) hit three homers (10, 11, 12), Yasmani Grandal (3-for-5, 2 runs) hit his 7th homer and Cody Launchangler (1-for-3, 2 RBIs) did it again, hitting his 22nd. Granted, someone needs to put Cody Launchangler in carbonite for Cooperstown — we can’t risk something happening to him playing baseball! — but this Seager guy is pretty good too, huh? Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Kinda ridiculous that Odubel Herrera is the first player to get two ledes this year, but this is because they both came on short schedule days and I’m the only one that likely knows this, so let’s just move on! ODB’s hot like Mariah’s fire. Mariah’s fire is the dragon breath she breathes right before her morning ritual of firing a staffer. “Who sprinkled my slippers with gold dust? It’s Tuesday! Tuesday’s slippers get sprinkled with powdered sugar so the squirrels follow me like it’s a Disney movie!” That’s Mariah TCOB. Ooh, idea! I’m gonna do the rest of this in acronyms. ODB TCOB SAGNOF UB40–Ugh, I failed at that exercise. Grey does not equal a 14-year-old girl texting. I told you yesterday if you take nothing else from the roundup, take away that you should grab Odubel. And that’s me reiterating me! Seriously, he’s 8-for-13 over the last three games with two homers. Grab him! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?