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[brid autoplay=”true” video=”376065″ player=”10951″ title=”2019 Razzball Draft Kit Top 5 Sleepers”]

We’ve done it!  We’ve reached the end of the fantasy baseball hitter rankings.  Give yourself a big round of applause.  I’d clap for you, but I have carpal tunnel from actually ranking all the hitters and writing all their blurbs and calculating all of their projections and– What exactly did you do?  Oh, yeah, you read them.  No wonder why your hands can still clap.  Okay, let’s get to it because this post is like 5,000 words long and I wrote it with my toes.  C’mon, pinkie toe, push down the shift key!  Here’s Steamer’s 2019 Fantasy Baseball Projections for Hitters and 2019 Fantasy Baseball Projections for Pitchers.  All projections listed are mine and I mention where I see tiers starting and stopping.  Anyway, here’s the top 100 outfielders for 2019 fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

[brid autoplay=”true” video=”292022″ player=”10951″ title=”Fantasy Baseball Buy Sell Hold Week 25″]

Didja you know The Captain from Captain & Tennille’s real name is Daryl Dragon?  Why would this guy have a nickname?  Your name’s awesome, you don’t get a nickname.  Daryl Dragon has bedtime slippers that are cooler than you.  Daryl Dragon washes his hands, then breathes a not-very-intense fire on his hands to dry them.  Daryl Dragon can’t get a speeding ticket.  “Okay, Mr. Dragon, I’ll let you go this time with a warning because your name is Daryl Dragon.” Raul Mondesi?  Now that name sucks as bad as Thanksgiving dinners with the Mondesis (Mondesii?).  “Please pass the potatoes and change your name back to Junior.”  “NO!” and chucks mashed potatoes at his father’s head.  “You throw like your mom!”  “I hate you”  And so on.  I don’t hate Adalberto Mondesi though.  Yesterday, he went 3-for-5, 2 RBIs and had a slam (9) and legs (25).  He has nine homers and 25 steals in only 219 ABs.  Mr. Prorater says, “In a full season, he’d have 20 homers and 55 steals.  And if I ate an orange a day for a year, I’d have enough Vitamin C for a Mars colony.”  You could consider this your first 2019 sleeper, assuming I don’t get too crazy with myself and rank Mondesi in the top 25 next year.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

We begin this week with a public service announcement to remind you that playing in the deep end of fantasy baseball is not only fun and challenging, it can also be beneficial to other aspects of your fantasy baseball life. I mention this so that I can clumsily and shamelessly make reference to my Razzball Writers’ League RCL team, which I took on with some hesitation since the format felt so foreign and, well, difficult. My draft was not bad but not great, and the learning curve was indeed steep as the season began. But cut to the end of August, and I sit comfortably at the top of our league standings. I may even be in the top 5 overall, as I was last week, but evidently my team has scored so many runs that the overall standings couldn’t be accurately calculated (MattTruss may have explained this slightly better in his wrap-up on Tuesday). Am I crediting my perhaps-unexpected success in my first foray into the RCL world to my background playing in and writing about deep leagues? Not exactly, but it sure hasn’t hurt. Even though it is rare for an ultra-deep league guy to seriously come into play in leagues like the RCLs, it does happen on occasion.  If nothing else, I certainly feel that needing to know more about depth charts and bullpens and such than the average fantasy player does help me in every league, regardless of format. Just something to think about if you haven’t taken the deep-league plunge yet but are considering it for next year… for now, we’ll move back to the present look at a handful of players that may be of interest to those currently in NL-only, AL-only, and other deep leagues.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

[brid autoplay=”true” video=”285346″ player=”10951″ title=”Fantasy Baseball Mailbag Week 22″]

Yesterday, Christian Yelich hit for the cycle, going 6-for-6, 2 runs, 3 RBIs and his 26th homer, hitting .319.  Yelich has been sexier than that random porn that was released of him.  Speaking of porn (always a great intro to a sentence), you know you have a cougar problem when…True story, I woke up yesterday morning and Googled to see if there ever was a movie made called, Call Me By Your Ma’am with Kimothee ChalaMILF.  That feels like too much information, but I trust you with everything, except any identifying details about me in real life.  Any hoo!  Yelich!  Are you kidding me?  Keyword is kidding, because he looks like he’s 12.  Yo, you super pre-teen?  You in Stranger Things?  We’re at the point now when I’m starting to think about 2019, and Yelich, well, is there any way he’s not top 20?  Yelich or Springer?  Gotta be Yelich, right?  Yelich or Bregman?  Okay, tough call, but damn close.  He’s definitely better than Kimothee ChalaMILF!  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Is it still “the beginning” of baseball season? I’m thinking no. We’re now a little more than 20% of the way into the year – still an extremely small sample size, but enough that we can see patterns starting to emerge, and it’s getting easier to evaluate fantasy teams’ strengths and weaknesses. If your team is going to have an overabundance of power or strikeouts, or will have trouble contending due to a complete lack of speed or saves, you’ve probably figured it out by now. While you don’t want to panic over poor starts by players that are still likely to turn things around and help you, there’s no reason not to be pro-active if you know your team is lacking in a certain area. Of course, this is easier said than done in a deep league, where there are few serviceable players sitting on the waiver wire, and trade partners may be hard to find since every team probably feels stretched thin and owners may not feel like they have a true surplus in any category. All the more reason to be extra vigilant about free agents, potential trade scenarios, setting your lineup properly, and anything else that can give you an edge based on the rules and parameters of your league… you don’t want tuning out for a few days in May to cost you valuable points that could make a big difference in September. For now, we do our usual: look at a handful of players that could be relevant to those livin’ the deep league life.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

This preseason Gregory Polanco was a Capri Sun.  Yes, the pouch drink that you need to stab 17 times to get the straw in.  Crazy, right?  What’s crazier is I have an explanation!  Ready?  Here we go, readers!  There is something just completely gross about liquids in a pouch.  Put some delicious nacho cheese in a ziplock bag.  You do not want to eat that anymore.  Seriously, cut the corner and squeeze it into your mouth.  So nasty!  An IV bag?  Yeah, that’s appetizing.  Why not grab a colostomy bag and cut out the middle man?  Bagged liquids are gross.  However — again with some stank! — HOWEVER, Capri Sun is surprisingly good.  Okay, u-turn to Polanco.  This preseason the Pirates looked like a mess.  No one really wanted any of them.  Marte had a suspension last year, but even he was kind of, “Well, he’s ranked here, so I guess I’ll take him.”  Polanco, though?  You didn’t even want him around pick 150 overall!  It was a “Hmm…Take a boring MI or Polanco” pick.  And a lot of you took Ian Kinsler instead!  Yesterday, Gregory Polanco went 2-for-5 with two more homers, and is now up to 5 homers, and, as Anime Grey said in the first Buy, Sell, Hold video, Polanco is still a buy.  Polanco is orange-flavored water in a silver pouch, the ultimate Capri Sun.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

This draft is a crock pot vs. a microwave.  A love sesh vs. a ‘hold the moan.’  A nature hike vs. “I’m gonna sit in the car as we drive past some mountains.”  Guys and five girl readers, it’s a slow draft.  This slow draft took about fifteen days, 18 hours, four minutes and–okay, only a lunatic counts seconds.  Not almost 15 days of straight drafting, mind you.  I don’t need to ice my clicky finger.  It’s five minutes of drafting, twelve hours of waiting.  It does allow you to second-guess your picks.  Actually, more like triple-guess.  (Who are we kidding, you quadruple-guess, fiveruple-guess, sextruple-guess, ochocinco-guess your picks.) For those not in the know, it’s a weekly, 15-team, two-catcher league that lasts for 50 rounds and there’s no waivers.  Anyway, here’s my NFBC draft recap:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

It was a tall task, but we came, we saw, we talked a shizz ton about 60 outfielders for your listening enjoyment. We pickup where we left off last episode, and take you from 41st all the way to 100. Of course we sneak in some time for NFBC team talk, and a host of other banter. This has to be one of the most comprehensive shows we’ve ever done. No lie, it’s three to four days long! We cover three of Grey’s outfield posts, and give you the low down on all the names to target, and which ones to avoid. Finally, please make sure to support our sponsor by heading over to RotoWear.com and entering promo code “SAGNOF” for 20% off the highest quality t-shirts in the fantasy sports game. It’s the latest edition of the Razzball Fantasy Baseball Podcast:

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Steven Souza, Michael Conforto, Avisail Garcia, Corey Dickerson, Eddie Rosario, Michael Taylor.  What do those players have in common?  Guys that were in last year’s top 100 outfielders post that made it out like this is Orange is the New Black and those guys were Taystee.  Only then Taystee got reincarcerated and brought with her that badass b*tch Vee, and Vee then started running shizz and that white ho, who the show was originally about that is annoying AF, started getting institutionalized with panty-selling and lez ho’ing and–Well, anyway, you get the point.  There’s not a ton of sunshine in this top 100 outfielders, but occasionally you do get glimmers of hope.  All the 2018 fantasy baseball rankings are under that link-ma-whosie.  As always, my projections and tiers are included.  Anyway, here’s the top 100 outfielders for 2018 fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Yesterday, on the last day of his H2H playoffs, Flavor Flav’s fantasy baseball team, “Yeah Boyd!!!” had a day to remember.  Fun fact!  Flavor Flav also plays fantasy baeball, drafting Hoopz, New York and Pumkin in the first round was the way to go, so surprising to see him take Brandi, who wasn’t even in Flavor of Love but on Rock of Love.  Rookie mistake!  Or maybe I should say roofie mistake.  So, yesterday, Matt Boyd went 9 IP, 0 ER, 2 baserunners, 5 Ks, ERA at 5.33, losing his no-hitter with two outs in the 9th inning.  He throws a handful of pitches, literally.  Five in total:  fastball (92 MPH), cutter, slider (slutter?), change and curve.  His arsenal is nothing to boot (footy pun!).  Of course, five pitches that are all garbage isn’t exactly the meow’s cat.  As of yesterday, only his curve was a plus pitch.  He is only 26 years old, so maybe a 5.00 xFIP doesn’t give the whole picture/pitcher (stutterer!).   Of course, at this time of the year, only his next start matters, and the Stream-o-Nator actually has it as the smallest of positives.  So, you got it, Flav, “Yeah, Boyd!!!”  Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Open Up and Buy AH, because owning Aaron Hicks is Nothin’ But A Good Time!  Also, a good time is searching any girl’s name from Rock of Love with your parental controls turned off.  Okay, I have a few Bee Tee Dubs here.  Unless you have a child, you don’t set parental controls on your TV.  You can filter what you see without magically stumbling on porn.  The internet though?  You need parental controls on it, no matter if you’re home, at work, 12 years old, 64 years old, at school or on the john.  You can Google something as innocuous as “cucumber” with no parental controls and all hell breaks loose in your search results.  “Oh em gee, I just wanted a recipe for a cucumber salad!”  Bee tee dubya II, we’re due for a terrible 80’s hair band renaissance.  Someone needs to do a cover of a Poison song.  Bee tee dubya III, there is no bee tee dubya III.  Bee tee dubya IV, I have this nugget in my brain that says, even though I was only 14 years old, I knew how awful Poison was at the time.  Like, when they did Your Mama Don’t Dance, a big part of me knew they were absolutely terrible, even then.  Any hoo!  Hey, any hoo’s initials are Aaron Hicks.  Coinkydink?  Thinks not.  He’s on a 162-game pace of 25 HRs, 15 SBs and a .280 average.  Of course, that doesn’t matter.  We just want a hot player at this point, and, on our 7-day Player Rater, he’s near top 75, and should be owned everywhere.  Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

On the ones and twos, it’s not DJ Khaled, with a cigar in his baby’s mouth, dropping another one in a major key.  It’s yo’ boy, DJ LeMahieu (4-for-5, 4 runs, 1 RBI), the French-sounding EDM mixmaster, spinning his wheels around the bases.  Yo, DJ LeMahieu, what you got to say about that?  “Pouvez-vous chicken francaise?”  Yo, you sound like me pretending to be French!  Next up throwing down, it’s Mark Reynolds (3-for-5, 2 runs, 4 RBIs and his 25th homer), the man, the myth, the Mini Donkey.  All brays to you!  Then how about Trevor Story (3-for-4, 6 RBIs and his 17th and 18th homers) finding his way into back-to-back home run games, like succinylcholine finds its way into back-to-back Forensic Files.  Then there’s Carlos Gonzalez…Actually, you still suck!  So, the Rockies, scored (fill-in-number, too high to count) last night, and Jon Gray did all he had to do — 6 IP, 2 ER, 7 baserunners, 6 Ks, which in Coors is all you can ask.  His peripherals are gorgeous — 8.6 K/9, 2.8 BB/9, 3.59 xFIP, but something I failed to remember this past preseason, it’s still a struggle to start him in Coors.  I mean, shizz gets ugly fast like a reality TV person at a reunion show.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?