Wilmer Than Meets The A’s

The A’s pitching staff got Wilmer than they bargained for on Friday night as San Francisco Giants first baseman slash heartthrob Wilmer Flores had a career night with his first ever home run hat trick, three home runs along with a career high eight runs batted in! Flores was so locked he got Fred Flintstone yelling his name and “WILMERRR!” did not ease into his big night at all, starting off the fun with a third inning grand salami on this spicy meatball. Subtlety is for cowards. He kept the party rolling two innings later with this three run ding dong. If you’re keeping track at home, Wilmer Flores now accounts for all seven of the Giants runs scored at this time. This is good Wilmer hunting, for real. But he wasn’t done there, cause you know what’s cooler than seven RBI, Sean Parker? Eight RBI and his third tank of the day! Sweet sassy molassy! Willy Adames ruined the fun with an RBI single in the eighth so not all Giants runs belonged to Wilmer, but they might as well have. The home runs were his first since April 21, so it was quite the mini power-slump he busted. After batting just .223 last month, fans hope his April showers lead to Wilmer Flores like they saw Friday night. A popular early season pick up because he bats in the heart of the line up Wilmer actually leads the league in runs batted in with 41. He’s tied with some guy named Judge! While Wilmer may never have near the power of that other guy, his reliable bat and great counting stats will keep him fantasy relevant. His 10 homers this year put him on base to shatter his previous career high of 23 and with nights like these he should have no problem getting there. If you need a little of everything and Flores is still out there on waivers, the Wilmer to win is strong with this one and he should remain productive playing nearly everyday in the heart of this batting order. Wilmer than enough for me!

Here’s what else I saw in fantasy baseball Friday night:

Logan Webb – 8.0 IP, 5 hits, ER, 2 BB, 4 K, 5th win. Oh, what a tangled Webb Logan weaves, when he first threw his sinker to deceive! L-Dubs brought a shut out into the eighth before giving up a double. Webb has got my spidey senses tingling lately and has a sub-2 ERA over the past two weeks. There’s no stopping the Giants when Webb’s slinging!

Miguel Vargas – 4-for-4, 2 HR (5), 3 RBI. Yes! That Miguel Vargas. This is the same guy who started the season slashing .139/.236/.203. Now he’s doing this. I’d show you both homers but they did lose this game by 10 runs. He’s hitting .444 with three homers and 7 RBI in the past week and slashing .292/.370/.625 in May. He would have been sent down week ago if he hadn’t run out of options. Hard to call that a success story but it is the White Sox. Small victories. I wouldn’t be so irresponsible as to recommend the White Sox clean up hitter in fantasy, but there it is to do with what you will.

Pete Crow-Armstrong – 4-for-5, 2 runs, HR (12), 6 RBI, slashing .282/.319/.563. PCA you are a revelation! Like seriously, where have you been all our lives, and why did you just start leading off a week ago. Pete’s hitting .375 in the past week with three homers, 9 RBI and a steal, and the 6 RBI was a career high! Here’s three of them here with the 400 footer. Yum! I bet his hair tastes like blue raspberries… Do I really want to buy a CityConnect jersey or does Pete just make them look good? The baby blue is a vibe for sure. Did I mention his 2.6 WAR is second in baseball? For a guy who was not expected to be much more than a light hitting speedy defense specialist Pete has made some real strides to become the player he has. Where did this power come from? It’s called grit, folks. Hard work. Adjustments. PCA hit just 10 homers in 400 ABs last year and he’s already up to 12 and it’s not even June yet. Chourio and Langford were supposed to be the power guys but who would you rather have leading off for your team? Is this a Good Son like choice? (Shoutout PCA’s mom, whose character dies tragically at the beginning of this movie (no spoilers)!) No the choice is clear, PCA over Macaulay Culkin.

Moises Ballesteros – 1-for-4, 2 runs, 2 RBI. Speaking of tough Good Son like Sophie’s choices, there are a lot of decent catchers to BUY on the waiver wire this week includes the Moises that doesn’t pee on his hands. Hmm, sounds promising. What MoBa has over the other guys is he’s a rookie which means his upside is the high. He could be the next Pete Crow-Armstrong for all we know. The sky is the limit for this kid, until it’s not. Let’s watch his first career hit and try not to get all misty eyed.

Cade Horton – 5.0 IP, 7 hits, 3 ER, 0 BB, 2 K, 2 HR, 2nd win. His second win in just his second start and the Cubbies kiddos have arrived! It’s a youth infusion! On a windy day in the Windy Apple, Cade had a tougher go of it this time around surrendering the two home runs and striking out just two. Still he got the win even if we expected bigger things with the prime match up. He gets another juicy one with the White Sux next week which should decide if he sticks around for more or not.

Jose Ramirez – 1-for-4, HR (9). I say he’s underrated, Grey says he’s a hall of famer. Can he be both things? Yes! Who’s the most overrated hall of famer? Phil Rizzuto? Larry Walker? Todd Helton? All the Rockies?

Austin Hays – 2-for-4, HR (6), SB (2). That’s the slam & legs! In Cincinnati, you know they’re covering you’re slam & legs with spaghetti and chili, and of course, topped with more orange shredded cheese than you asked for or could even buy in a singular package at the grocery store. If that seems like overkill, it’s because it is!

Will Benson – 2-for-4, HR (2), 3 RBI. Back to back games with a homer! Hitting close to .400 the past week with the two homers, 7 RBI and a steal, Benny should continue to get at bats while he’s hitting all the baseballs.

Juan Soto – 0-for-2, run, 3 BB, SB (4). In his long anticipated return to the Bronx Soto got an even warmer welcome from the fans than we thought he would. That’s fun! The “[expletive deleted] Juan Soto” chants when he reached base also fun. Or how about the entire section of the bleachers turning their backs to him. If only we could all be as trivial, petty and classless as your typical New York sports fan. This is some S Tier hate for a guy who was a Yankee for less than 12 months.

Carlos Rodon – 5.0 IP, 2 hits, ER, 4 BB, 5 K, 5th win. Hey, speaking of underrated overrated JoRam, here’s a pitcher who’s been so solid lately methinks he’s actually slightly underrated. This was a tough match up and CarRo worked himself out of some jammy jams. He’s got a 44/13 K/BB over his past six starts with four wins and a sub-2 ERA. That’s the Ace on most of my fantasy teams!

Cody Bellinger – 3-for-5, 2 runs. Statistically, he had a better game than Juan Soto, the man he replaced in the Bombers line up. You could ask a New Yorker if they prefer him to Soto, but they are too busy destroying their city over a NBA Eastern Conference semi-final win.

Paul Goldschmidt – 2-for-4, run, 2 RBI, OPS at .904. He’s be leading the AL in batting average with .349 if it weren’t for Aaron Judge who’s batting almost .75 points higher. Sounds like someone deserves a shotski at Club Karma in Seaside Heights. Pauly G is a Jersey sure thing!

Jack Flaherty – 5.2 IP, 5 hits, 2 ER, BB, 6 K, 2nd win. Gave up a homer to Daulton Varsho (1-for-4, HR (6), 2 RBI and a BUY) but that was his only blemish. Decent bounce back after giving up 5 ER to the Rangers last week. He’s had a rough go lately but things should get easier next week at St Louis. If you don’t think Flaherty can rebound from this you don’t know Jack.

Beau Brieske – 1.0 IP, 2 hits, SV (1). You would think Will Vest, who hadn’t pitched since Wednesday would get the save chance but Mr. Manager likes to keep us on our toes.

Riley Greene – 2-for-4, HR (11), 3 RBI. That’s 11 homers (ELEVEN) for Ri, he said it was OK that I called him Ri. It ain’t easy being Greene, unless you’re like Riley and mash baseballs.

Javier Baez – 1-for-4, HR (6). For all those of you waiting for the shoe to drop with Javy time. You say his BABIP is high, exit velocity, bat speed and hardhit% are all career lows. He is striking out less, but he’s also walking less. So he shortened his swing, he’s not swinging as hard but he’s making contact at a career high rate even if a lot of that contact is ground balls. To all this nay saying I say, bro, what are you even talking about? Shut up n3rd and watch this! He was a BUY and he’s hitting .300 with three homers in the past week but you can leave him on waivers because of his BABIP if you want.

Bo Bichette – 2-for-4, HR (4). Someone is jacked for the Andor finale!

Addison Barger- 2-for-3, run. He was a BUY and he’s hitting .304 with two homers in the past week. This Barger could be a real a whopper!

Gunnar Henderson – 0-for-5, 4 K. Just when I thought we were turning a corner, you do me like this. You’re the reason everything in my life is going wrong and I didn’t want to do this again but you left me no choice. Players with more home runs than Gunnar Henderson, part II: Rowdy Tellez, Matt Mervis, Nathaniel Lowe and Trevor Larnach.

James Wood – 2-for-4, HR (12), 2 RBI. He’s admittedly cooled off considerably after a hot start but he can still do this. That’s a game tying 420-footer for those of you who have been banned from X. He’s got six homers this year with over 100+ exit velo. That means Wood gets wood on it. He’s on pace for 40 homers, and if that doesn’t give you Wood I don’t know what will. This kid’s gonna be a star! Ha-cha-cha!

MacKenzie Gore – 3.2 IP, 10 hits, 2 ER, 2 BB, 9 K, 102 pitches. Wowza look at that line! If I told you the line before the start would you have still started him? Be honest, I would have. I’m sucha sl*t for Ks and Mac leads all pitcher in that category by double digits. Even if the 1.30 WHIP is less than ideal.

Chris Sale – 7.0 IP, 5 hits, ER, 2 BB, 8 K, 2nd win. Sale’s long anticipated return to Fenway went about as well as he could have hoped notching the win in his fourth straight quality start. He’s got a 36/6 K/BB in that stretch and most importantly, he didn’t get injured, which was sort of his thing on the Red Sox!

Garrett Crochet – 7.0 IP, 7 hits, 2 ER, 8 K. Boston’s big new lefty was outdueled by Boston’s big old lefty. He gave up back-to-back bombs to Matt Olson (8) and Sean Murphy (8) but settled in nicely after that. Crochet and sale actually share a lot in common. Power pitchers, both 6’7, both beards, both traded to Boston from the White Sox. They can both do stuff like this. Oh, and since you all know I live for fashion, how about those new Fenway Greenies? They’re kind of fire, no? I’m not sure anyone on this team deserves a jersey purchase, but I will probably give them all my money anyway.

Max Meyer – 5.0 IP, 6 hits, 3 ER, 7 K, 3rd win. After criticizing Max for his struggles last week I can tell you I’m back in on Max power after he posted a 35% CSW against the Tampa Kays. The 4.65 ERA is unsightly, sure, but the 59/16 K/BB makes it all go down a lot smoother. He gets a tougher matchup with the Cubs next week.

Taj Bradley – 4.0 IP, 6 hits, 5 ER, 3 BB, 6 K, 3rd L. Against the Marlins!? The K/9 is down from last year and the BB/9 is way up to 3.91. ERA almost touching 5, that’s a streamer over-the-internet friends and stalkers. I had such high hopes for this Rays pitching staff but thinking back on it I’m not really sure why.

Chandler Simpson – 3-for-3, 2 runs, RBI, SB (8). Yes, eat all of our shorts!

Eric Wagaman – 3-for-4, 2 RBI. Marlins had 13 hits and scored 9 in this one so here’s your Marlins Eric Wagaman blurb. I love their noodles but it’s just gotten so expensive!

Ivan Herrera – 3-for-4, 2 runs, 4 RBI. Ivan the Herrerable has done nothing but Herrera the cover off the ball since returning from the IL. And it’s not like he wasn’t slashing .381/.458/1.048 with four homers before he got sidelined. He’s hit safely in every game since his retun batting .500 with a homer in the past week. Small sample sizes but the 1.387 OPS is swoon worthy for sure. Ivan is clearly ready, willing and Herrrable, he was a BUY and if you grab one catcher this week make it Ivan.

Andre Pallante – 7.0 IP, 7 hits, 2 ER, 4 K, 4th win. That’s back to back wins and 7+ IP performances and Andre’s got his ERA down to 4.11. Have a day! He’s not the most exciting pitcher but his xFIP says he’s actually been unlucky, as its almost half a run lower. The Birds have now won nine of their last 10 and if Pallante survives his start with the Tigers next week I am more than intrigued. I could see considering the prospect of maybe thinking about mulling over the possibility of contemplating whether or not I should review the option of potentially picking him up. I still don’t know for sure though!

Cole Ragans – 5.0 IP, 4 hits, 7 K, 3rd loss. Left this start with groin tightness and not the good kind. He could be headed for the IL as velocity was noticeably down. Stay tuned!

Joe Ryan – 6.0 IP, 2 hits, 0 ER, BB, 9 K, 4th win. Joe’s rocking some of the best stats in the entire league! 2.42 ERA and 0.79 WHIP are real nice but it’s that 63/6 K/BB that’s why I’m stalking him on Instagram. Sure, he won’t reply to my DMs but that doesn’t mean he’s not seeing them. I like to think my messages of encouragement are fueling his magical season.

Kody Clemens – 2-for-4, RBI. Because the Twinkies won their 13th game in a row and I felt I had to mention one of their hitters. Rocket must be so proud. Also, the Twinks might just be a wagon, ya’ll!

Ranger Suarez – 7.0 IP, 6 hits, 3 ER, BB, 6 K. Ranger Danger for a spell in the 6th as he gave up three runs but the Phillies scored four in the bottom of the 7th to put him in line for the win. That’s back to back 7+ IP performances since his return and he’s looked mostly good since being activated from the IL although he’s had some primo matchups. He gets a scary start at Coors against a very unscary Rockies line up.

Jose Alvarado – 0.2 IP, K, SV (7). It looked like Alvarado was set to come into the game in the 8th inning, but the Phils scored 7 in the bottom of the inning and Mr. Manager opted to use Jordan Romano in the 8th. It’s tough to say if he was saving Jose for the save opp in the ninth as the Phils scored another four runs in the bottom of the 8th and got the non-save opp which quickly turned into a save opp as he loaded the bases making way for Alvarado. I read that back to make sure it made sense and still unclear. Unclear like the closer situation in Philadelphia but basically we learned don’t drop your Jose Alvarados just yet.

Bryce Harper – 3-for-4, 2 runs, 2 RBI, SB (7). B-Ryce notched his 1000th RBI in this one. Wow, how historic. He is the 8th active player to reach 1000 and 306th player in history. Which, I don’t know, seems like kind of a lot, no?

Alexander Canario – 2-for-3, HR (3), 3 RBI. He’s batting .429 with the lone homer in the past week and he’s turning into the Pirates best hitter! I’m so sorry Bucs fan(s). Also, maybe more bad news Oneil Cruz pinch hit struck out in the ninth inning with the bases loaded ruining IL retroactivity eligibility (are those words)? If I was a pessimistic Pirates fan I’d bet he goes on the IL now. Also, pinch hitting your star player in such a big spot after he hasn’t played in a week is such bad Mr. Managing I can’t even start. This organization is such a mess from top to bottom, get Paul out of there, and for God’s sake can we get the line up card more than an hour before first pitch for once! I’m not even a Bucs fan and I’m so, so angry.

Nathan Eovaldi – 5.2 IP, 2 hits, 0 ER, 3 BB, 5 K. Normally, I’d write here that Nasty Nate who you probably drafted in the 16th round gave you his cocktail fruit with his 1.61 ERA and those drafting top tier starts are left in the dust. But this year the top starters off the board have actually been pretty solid so I will save it.

Christian Walker – 2-for-4, HR (5), 3 RBI. I think if we cut the head and fingers off we can throw him in the lake and no one will be able to identify hi–wait, Christian Walker moved. He’s alive!

Lance McCullers Jr. – 4.0 IP, 4 hits, 0 ER, BB, 2 K. As a big time Lance superfan (we’re called McCullies) this was especially warm and fuzzy to see. I’m not ready to buy in on him and his 14.54 ERA, but I will be watching him fondly from a distance for now.

Josh Jung – 2-for-4, HR (7). Well Jung! That’s his fourth home run in the past week, hitting .440! Is the 2023 Jung we’ve been waiting to return finally back or did he just finish a series with the Rockies? Regardless, there are few hotter potatoes in Potato land, where the spuds grow like magnolias and the rivers flow with sour cream and chive.

Cal Raleigh – 1-for-3, 2 runs, HR (14), 2 RBI. Big Dumper took this big dump into the left field seats. Spicy oppo tacos always result in Big Dumpers.

Corbin Burnes – 6.0 IP, 2 hits, 0 ER, 3 BB, 10 K, 3rd win, ERA at 2.56. Burnes baby Burnes! He’s no Nathan Eovaldi, but that will do!

Gabriel Moreno – 3-for-3, 2 runs. Lots of hot catchers right now you might be tempted to add a second one for your bench to which I will simply advise you, “No.”

Corbin Carroll – 2-for-5, run, SB (7). Ketel Marte, Josh Naylor and Perdomo also stole bases. This is how you properly beat up on the Rockies. No! Don’t feel bad for them. They did this to themselves!

Jack Kochanowicz – 6.0 IP, 5 hits, ER, 3 BB, 5 K, 2nd win. That’s back to back quality starts and wins for Jack, this one was at Dodger stadium! That’s an triple Oh-tani Notani thank you. I would like to see the cajones of any individual who started him there. You sir are a true Liver King primal, man! You are a big brute man who eats wittle baby animal organs, bench presses car parts and refuses to own a smart phone because it might fry your balls. Jack gets the A’s next week and again if you started him against Brohei and Co.hei I don’t need to give you any advice, you are master of your own destiny already, sir.

Dustin May – 5.0 IP, 6 hits, 4 ER, 2 BB, 8 K. The eight strikeouts were a season high but I just can’t help but think he’s not good at fantasy beisbol? I roster him because of that Dodger win-adjacence but he’s only got two wins so why am I rostering this dude with the 4.5 ERA and 17 BBs again? Mid. And that’s being generous. He gets the Sneks next week. Start him if you hate yourself.

Yoan Moncada – 1-for-5, HR (3). YO-AN! He was a BUY and left the game after homering and is day to day, because of course he is. I’m pretty sure that’s exactly what happened last time he homered.

Hyeseong Kim – 2-for-3. He was a BUY and has done nothing but hit and steal since being called up. Even if he doesn’t play every day, I mentioned the Ohtani adjacence factorials andif you didive that by the square root of Mookie you should probably add him, I mean Kim.

Shohei Ohtani – 2-for-3, HR (16). Best for last, ie you know the drill. My Shayla is hitting .375 with 9 home runs and 19 RBI in the past two weeks. Yes, that’s not a typo. Remember when he didn’t lead the league in homers? Me neither. Dark times. He also leads the league in aura points and rizz quotient. His team also lost to the Angels which has got to piss him off. Lol “rivalry” week! If this is a rivalry no one told Anaheim. Still, Shohei needs something to motivate him so I’d fully expect another 2+ of these this weekend.

Thanks for reading! Questions? Problems? Complaints to management? Advice, small gifts or large bribes? Please leave it in the comments below. Join us next Saturday for another Friday recap as fantasy baseball continues next week, all week long!