“The guys we have in here, in this clubhouse. These guys are home. This locker room for the last three months is where I’ve placed my bowl of cocktail wieners and beans on top of this wooden bench and dined, while people around me have said, ‘Really? You have to eat in here?’ This locker is where I hang my Mets’ jersey, where, before me, once Hubie Brooks hung his Mets’ jersey, and before him, another guy whose name I’m forgetting. That’s a legacy, and we’re damn proud. Mets is written across our chest, like a stigmata.” That was Justin Verlander as he tried to pretend to not want to be traded, making his best effort on the field — 8 IP, 1 ER, 4 baserunners, 7 Ks, ERA at 3.47. Verlander is carrying his worst peripherals in fifteen years — 7.6 K/9, 2.8 BB/9, 4.49 xFIP, just hideous stuff for a guy of his caliber, but maybe the inspiration to get off the Mets will be all he needs. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Brett Baty – 1-of-r3, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 7th homer, and 2nd homer in the last two games. I’m so anxious for him to get hot, you can sure I’m waiting breath Baty.
Josh Bell – 3-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 11th homer, and 2nd homer in as many games. Seems like he’s figured out recently how to elevate the ball. His advanced metrics are still saying he hits too many grounders, but his ExitVelo is nice, great MaxEv. He should be a .260 hitter and is currently around .240, so there’s room for growth — that’s what she never said!
Aaron Civale – 5 1/3 IP, 2 ER, 6 baserunners, 3 Ks, ERA at 2.71. Don’t usually mention great pitchers and scrub pitchers, because there’s not a ton to say, and I consider Civale a scrub, but then I saw Civale’s ERA and I fell off my seat, banged my head and had a fantasy where I owned Civale instead of most of the pitchers I do have. With that said (ugh, Grey’s about to do a reversal), Civale really is not good. Streamonator loved yesterday’s and his next, so maybe I should lighten up on labeling him Scrub Daddy, trademark Lori Greiner.
Adolis Garcia – Hit on his elbow and it looked very bad. Hope all you haters are happy! “Ugh!” He screamed as he walked into traffic. It’s supposedly a contusion, but we need a prayer hexagon.
Jon Gray – Hit by a 112 MPH comebacker. Kind of comebacker Don Rickles would’ve been proud of. Gray’s supposedly fine. Him, not me.
Jonah Heim – 2-for-4, 3 RBIs and his 14th homer, hitting .287. Even though I don’t have him in all leagues (a few, just not all), I kinda want him to have a huge 2nd half so a few Big-Brained ‘Perts rank/draft him in the top 30 next year.
Alex Speas – 1 2/3 IP, 0 ER, 3 Ks, as he was called up. He went from being a Little League coach last year, and out of baseball, to posting a 1.00 ERA in 36 IP in the minors, with 59 Ks vs. 15 walks and a 0.97 WHIP, and now the call to the majors. An emoji that gives the emotional weight of Mean Joe Greene throwing his jersey to a kid.
Leody Taveras – 2-for-4, 2 RBIs and a slam (11) and legs (10). Ya know what Leody’s doing? Having one of those years where he’s a top 30 outfielder on the Player Rater, and he’s not rostered in 50% of shallow leagues. Speed/power guys are always king.
Jose Siri – 2-for-4 and his 19th homer. Not bad for a digital assistant. By the way, Leody is 20 outfielders above Siri on the Rater.
Nolan Gorman – 2-for-4, 4 RBIs and a slam (19) and legs (5), hitting .242. What’s funny in a non-funny way, once fantasy baseballers (<–my mom’s term!) sour on a guy they never want to go back in. Gorman struggled in June; people moved off him, and now he’s good again and everyone is like, “Grey, handsome face, but would you drop Gorman for Adam Frazier?”
Sandy Alcantara – 6 IP, 4 ER, 10 baserunners, 7 Ks, ERA at 4.70. Is this the worst season-after-Cy ever? Sound off in the comments! (I’m sure it’s not.)
Bryan De La Cruz – 2-for-4 and his 12th homer, and 2nd homer in three games. Elly who?! Elly De La Cruz is one of the most electric players in a long time. I know, Random Italicized Voice. It’s a figure of speech. ‘Elly who’ is not a figure of speech.
Eugenio Suarez – 1-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 14th homer, 3rd homer in three games. Feel like the first 12 times I said he was a Buy Low should’ve been enough.
Alex Kirilloff – 1-for-5, 2 RBIs and his 7th homer, and 3rd homer in three games. Wrap that wrist in bubble wrap and keep it going!
Edouard Julien – 2-for-2 and his 9th homer, and 2nd homer in two games. Absolutely worth grabbing, but I do find it hilarious how Baldelli thinks it’s important to platoon him out every single game. Is the hitting .318 not enough? To sub in Michael Not A. Good Hitter Taylor?
Chas McCormick – 2-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 12th homer, and 4th homer in four games. Yesterday, I called him a hot schmotato. Today, I say, same.
C.J. Cron – 1-for-4 and his 10th homer, hitting .251. Curtis Jackson hitting better than two Fiddys!
Carlos Rodon – 4 1/3 IP, 6 ER, ERA at 7.36. Very productive IL slot investment from March until a few weeks ago. Great stuff.
Giancarlo Stanton – 1-for-4 and his 12th homer, and 3rd homer since the break. Was nice to see him in Southern California, as I watched him from across the street from his hotel with binoculars.
Luis Rengifo – 1-for-2, 2 RBIs and his 7th homer. Wish he were also Rungifo, and Decentaveragifo.
Chase Silseth – 5 2/3 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners, 10 Ks, ERA at 4.44, as he was recalled. He went vs. the Stankees and I think they’re like Michelle Pfeiffer in Scarface, and their entire womb is polluted. As for Silseth, his command is almost as bad as his last name for lispers. Thay away.
Logan O’Hoppe – Trending towards returning this year. That’s nice to hear, too bad I already dropped him everywhere so *raspberries lips*
Jeimer Candelario – 1-for-5 and his 15th homer, and 2nd homer in three games, and about the 17th time in the last two weeks I’ve said Jeimer’s hot.
Nico Hoerner – 2-for-5, 4 RBIs and his 6th homer, hitting .272. You can stop waiting for the man; Nico is it.
Kyle Hendricks – 6 IP, 1 ER, 5 baserunners, 5 Ks, ERA at 3.38. Everyone is getting rocked and Hendricks is rocking. Welcome to Woodstock, 2023.
Yu Darvish – 6 IP, 0 ER, 7 baserunners, 7 Ks, ERA at 4.36. As someone who has Darvish and Nola, I can say Darvish’s worse ERA feels better. I don’t know why that is. We won’t delve.
Jose Berrios – 6 IP, 2 ER, 8 baserunners, 9 Ks, ERA at 3.39. Can’t wait to go back in on Berrios next year and have him have a 7+ ERA. Gonna be fun!
JJ Bleday – 2-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 7th homer, and 2nd homer in as many games. Have Bleday in one league and I always forget if I started him, because it’s one of those deep bench leagues. That sorta sums him up. Even if you have him, you don’t remember. Kinda sounds like all A’s. Any hoo! Bleday’s been hot.
Marcell Ozuna – 1-for-3 and his 18th homer, hitting .239. Neither here nor there, since Ozuna’s price was cheap in drafts, but he has incredibly low number of RBIs (41) for that many homers. Some Adam Dunn-type numbers.
Kevin Ginkel – 1 IP, 1 ER, ERA at 2.39, and 2nd save in back to back games, but this one wasn’t clean so *shrugs* Does that matter? Torey from Road Rules/Real World Challenge went to McGough for six weeks while he was bad. I’d grab Ginkel if you need saves.
Zach Davies – Hit the IL with lower back inflammation. That’s what they’re calling “he sucks” nowadays.
Ryne Nelson – 7 IP, 2 ER, 4 baserunners, 5 Ks, ERA at 4.82. His stuff looks much better than his peripherals (6.2 K/9, 2.5 BB/9, 4.98 xFIP). Do you have a Stuff category? No? Okay, moving on…
Andrew Painter – Was recommended he get Tommy John surgery. I guarantee you, that was recommended roughly four months ago, but they tried to rehab it, which never works. I will bet everything on this theory.
Cristopher Sanchez – 5 IP, 1 ER, 7 baserunners, 3 Ks, ERA at 3.06. Picked him up a couple of weeks ago in a deep league, and have been very happy with him, but also wouldn’t touch him in a shallower league.
Nick Castellanos – 1-for-4 and his 14th homer. When the Greek God of Hard Contact laughs, it sounds like he’s saying tzatziki.
Javier Baez – 1-for-3 and his 7th homer, hitting .227. Nice to see him come out of retirement–*intern whispers in ear*–He’s been playing all year? Oh God.
Graham Ashcraft – 6 IP, 2 ER, 7 baserunners, 3 Ks, ERA at 5.77. Has been solid since he’s returned from injury, which is exactly the kind of justification he wants to hear so you pick him up and he craps down the side of your fantasy team in a way that no reasonable man could clean without gagging.
Shintaro Fujinami – Traded to the O’s. A’s asking for nothing in return so they don’t have to pay to relocate another player to Vegas. Fujinami will act as a translator for Ohtani when the O’s trade for him next week. Nah, Fujinami will prolly become the best 7th inning man, because the O’s can coach up their pitchers. Also, the A’s are a joke and their owner should be forced to sell the team.
Cedric Mullins – Hit the IL with some shizz to his groin. His injuries are a kick to mine. Third round in the preseason: Could’ve went Olson, Randy, Albies, Semien or Mullins. Guess which way I went. I’ll give you one guess!
Gunnar Henderson – 1-for-3, 3 runs and his 15th homer, hitting .247. Nice, now excuse me so I can write a note: Dear Santa of MLB Trading Deadline, please have the Orioles trade Mountcastle to the Marlins for A.J. Puk, thus making Tanner Scott closer in Miami and giving Gunnar and Mountcastle full-time jobs again.
James Outman – 1-for-4 and his 12th homer. That home run was a hippie, because it was like, “Whoa, far Outman.”
Max Muncy – 1-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 22nd homer, hitting .188. See, he can still focus and hit homers with his baby on his chest in a Baby Bjorn.
Dustin May – Had his flexor tendon surgery done with a revision to his Tommy John surgery. That means his Tommy John surgery is now on periwinkle pages. That’s a film production joke. Speaking of film production (seamless transitions):
— Razzball (@Razzball) July 19, 2023
Julio Urias – 5 IP, 8 ER, ERA at 5.02. I have hated Urias for many years, this preseason included. Know why he’s finally bad? True story: I had a kidney stone the day before Opening Day this year and was in the hospital. Some of you know that, but what you don’t know is ex-Razzball podcast host, Geoff, drafted for me in one league that night and the ace he drafted for me was none other than Julio Urias!