For Mother’s Day, all MLB players use pink bats. On Father’s Day, all bats should be painted to resemble penises. I try to convince MLB of this every year, and every year I’m met with awkward silence. Another Father’s Day, another year MLB didn’t take my suggestion for an, uh, equipment update. How about they use the pink bats again, but with hanging scrotum on the knobs? They could at least call all home runs on Father’s Day “dongs,” or if the player is over the age of 35, then they’re long balls. These are not big fixes I’m asking them to do. So, Edwin Encarnacion took his long balls (see?!) to the Yankees (unintentional pun, but still worthwhile). Turns out the Home Run Parrot on Edwin’s shoulder is a better agent than Kimbrel’s. “Polly want 15%.” This made me chuckle: reporters on Saturday suggesting the new potential Yankees’ lineup had Edwin Encarnacion penciled in as a question mark like he was some mystery-flavor Dum-Dum. It’s because Encarnacion doesn’t really make sense for the Yankees — is he the DH? (Voit? Judge? Stanton?) 1st base? (LeMahieu) — but they’ll find room for him since he was the AL leader in home runs. Clint Frazier was sent to the minors, as he awaits a trade; this will completely kill Gio Urshela’s value, and might hurt DJ LeMahieu’s, as well. With Giancarlo and Judge returning, Gardner’s about to become the 4th outfielder, Maybin’s gonna get DFA’d and Aaron Hicks better make sure he doesn’t slump or he’s going to be benched too. Of course, all of this becomes moot when Judge, Stanton and Edwin all get hurt this week. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Please see our player page for Kyle Hendricks to see projections for today, the next 7 days and rest of season as well as stats and gamelogs designed with the fantasy baseball player in mind.
Andrew McCutchen is out for the year with a torn ACL. To borrow a phrase often quoted in the White Sox bullpen box score, that’s A. Bummer. On the bright side, Cesar Hernandez (1-for-5) isn’t some obscure Roman emperor, you’re thinking of Nero Antivirus and Flavor Flavius! Last year when Cesar Hernandez had 563 at-bats in leadoff, he was a sneaky top 50 bat. Before last night, he had only 5 at-bats at leadoff. Well, all that’s about to change for the better. Then you have the new Phils’ outfielder, Jay Effin-Up-My-Paddack Bruce (3-for-4, 3 runs, 6 RBIs and his 15th and 16th homers). Also, Adam Haseley (0-for-4) suddenly has value as the Phils’ center fielder, when two days ago you thought Haseley was the singer of Ghost. You say you’re no good for me, I like it ANYWAY! What, I have to work the five-lady crowd too. As I said yesterday, “(Haseley is the) Phils’ 2017 1st round pick. Prospectonator doesn’t love Haseley, giving him 15/7 with little average over the course of a season (by the way, if you click on Haseley’s name, his projections are there for free — like every player). I will say this for Haseley, he looks ready to contribute in the landmark case of sooner vs. later since he played college ball. In NL-Only leagues, I’m interested since McCutchen looks out for a while, but wait and see in mixed.” And that’s me quoting me! The Phils also said (This Phil character has a lot to say!) Scott Kingery (2-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 4th homer) will be getting regular starts at 3rd. When asked about Maikel, they said, “…” Oh, now you have nothing to say! But Maikel hit a pinch-hit homer, his 9th. Still nothing? “…” Damn. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Imagine discovering a band forty years after their relevant period. Then imagine you’re Grey Albright. Your mustache is thick and handsome, you run a fantasy baseball empire, and you just discovered the Blue Öyster Cult! Did anyone ask for more cowbell? Well, unfortunately we can’t provide you any sweet, sweet cowbell, but we can take you through the week in Fantasy Baseball, one outlandish conversation at a time. We of course spend half the show discussing recent call-ups, before diving into Josh Bell’s breakout, Brandon Woodruff coming of age, and if Rafael Devers is a top three round pick in the making. While we’re in good spirits I encourage Grey to take a victory lap for Adalberto Mondesi’s early returns, before running through some good adds for the week ahead. It’s the Razzball podcast, we don’t need no stinkin’ badges!Please, blog, may I have some more?
Minnesota’s resident bad boy Miguel Sano continues his triumphal return to crushing baseballs and dinging dongs Friday night with his fifth home run (a solo shot) off Reynaldo Lopez in the third inning. Let it Sano. Let it Sano. Well, you get it. It seems like everyone on the Twins is having a career year so far, and Miguel has returned from the IL just in time to get on this sweet 2019 Twinkie action. He’s now slashing .250/.333/.857 with five home runs and nine RBI through seven games. Yes, you read that correct, five home runs in seven games. Extrapolate that. Calculating….calculating…calculating. Let’s see he’s on pace to hit 76 home runs from now until August. Hmm, wait that seems wrong. Irregardless! He’s 7-for-28 in the past week and five of those seven hits have gone yard-o, folks. If that doesn’t make your happy memorial day I don’t know what can. Sure, he’s got 11 strikeouts already, but he’s also slugging .857. This is Miguel Sano. This is what you’re signing up for. He swings and misses with the best in and biz but when he connects *kisses fingertips* mmm, grazie. He’s available in over 60% of leagues, but that number should shrink quite a bit once the Minneapolis die-hards wake up. He was a BUY and he’s definitely worth a flier if you need power, especially while he’s sending every baseball he touches to the moon. Pick him up, Sano you want to!
Here’s what else happened in fantasy baseball Friday night:Please, blog, may I have some more?
My preseason NL MVP pick was Travis Shaw. *turns to a mirror* You’re handsome, but hella stupid. My mirror reflection separates from my body. The apparition picks up a see-through suitcase, “I think it’s time we went our separate ways.” But how will you get along out there without me? Can an apparition order Chick-fil-A or boba? “Don’t make this harder than it needs to be.” It was one bad call. “Tell that to my teams with Travis Shaw and Daniel Palka.” Nooooooo!!! Any hoo! My soul left me after I told it to draft Travis Shaw, and I can’t blame it. What a garbage call. Maybe Shaw will return as Travos so we can “see worth.” It’s a game of puns! With the Brewers moving on from Shaw by sending him to the Ineffective List, they called up Keston Hiura. I know I say this shizz three times a week, but he could be *the* call-up of the year. Here’s what I’ve said in the past, “One scout said this offseason at the Arizona Fall League, ‘We all talk about the bat of Vladdy, with obvious reason, but outside of Vladdy, I’d call Keston Hiura the purest power bat I saw out in Arizona. He’s just a special, special kid.’ The scout continued, ‘Have you seen my chew?’ turning his lip inside out, ‘Ah, there it is,’ then after a pause, ‘I’m big league, baby!’ I actually have owned Huira for the better part of two years in two separate NL-Only leagues, and I’m a fan. Think there’s a chance for a 18/7/.270 season. That sounds downright–Don’t say Jed Lowrie, don’t say Lowrie, don’t say Lowrie, don’t say Lowrie– Led Jowrie! (What’s worse, I thought of saying ‘what Brett Lawrie was supposed to be’ — woof!) In Double-A last year, Hiura hit 6 HRs with 11 SBs and .272 in only 73 games, but his bat will play, and, as mentioned above about how he looked in Arizona, he destroyed the AFL, getting better and better.” And that’s me quoting me! He continued to get better this year, hitting .333 with 11 HRs in 37 Triple-A games, while chipping in four steals. He was striking out way too much in Triple-A to hit .333 in the majors, but 18/7/.270 sounds about right from this point forward with a chance for more. Maybe he could even be the NL MVP. I’m kidding, apparition! Please, come back, I’m empty inside!. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Doe, a deer, a female deer that sounds like Chaz Roe. Ray, a drop of eleven Rays! Me, a name I call myself while looking in the mirror to check on my hair–Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t hear you come in. I was just singing a little song I call, “Julie Andrews is One Hot Cougar.” Yesterday, Robbie Ray did the impossible. No, not strike out 11 Rays hitters. I mean, yes, he did that. But that’s not what I found impossible. I find it impossible to like him, and yesterday he made me smile a little. Sure, this ‘impossible task’ is a bit subjective, but get out of your own head, it’s all subjective! Life’s subjective! Wow, I just became an angry philosopher. Call me Socrankies. Robbie Ray’s line yesterday 5 2/3 IP, 0 ER, 7 baserunners (3 BBs), 11 Ks is almost exactly him to a T. He is a 4.7 BB/9 guy and that was his BB/9 yesterday in under six innings. He can’t go deep because of the walks, and his Ks are gorge, but also limit his IP. I don’t hate him as much as it might seem. I don’t own him, but I can understand the allure. I “allurve” Ks. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
I’ll get to the FanDuel slate in a minute, but Ohio baseball teams had quite the day yesterday. They started the day in Cleveland, where Lucas Giolito, he of the 5.32 ERA, shut out Cleveland pretty easily through 7.1 innings. Though after years of being sub replacement level, Giolito actually is showing signs of being decent and increasing his strikeout rate from 16.1% to 28.9% in only 23 innings. Then, later in the day, Cincinnati forced Mike Fiers (6.81 ERA and 5.33 xFIP) to throw 131 pitches in 9 innings while getting no hits and managing only two walks. This isn’t new, both teams have been playing like horse poop all year. Cleveland has now tied with the Marlins for most futile offense in the Majors with a 67 wRC+, and the Reds are 25th with a 78 wRC+. Both of these teams were expected to actually have decent offenses and just aren’t any good so far. Anyway, I have nothing to say here, just that yesterday, these 2 Ohio teams were awful and have been awful all year.
On to the picks…
New to FanDuel? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well, be sure to read our content and subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays. Just remember to sign up through us before jumping into the fray. It’s how we know you care!Please, blog, may I have some more?
Michael Chavis continued to do nothing but hit Friday night going 2-for-4 with his fourth home run, a 459 foot 2-run shot (woh) off Reynaldo Lopez. Someone put a distress beacon on that ball so maybe Captain Marvel can find it in space!? Chavis is now slashing a real pretty .310/.442/.619 with four homers and two steals in just 42 at bats (13 games). Extrapolate that! If he started the season with the team he’d be the their home leader! I’m trying to figure out why he’s not owned in more leagues. Is it because he doesn’t have a sexy name like Skye Bolt or Carter Kieboom. Or maybe we haven’t done our due diligence as irritating members of Red Sox Nation to over hype this guy until you’re sick of hearing about him. Well, get ready to hear me gush about my newest BoSox heart throb because Chavis has done everything since arriving with Boston including five multi-hit games in his past 10. He’s famous around the clubhouse for the studious notes he takes after every at bat. Whaddaya think you’re some kinda smaht guy Hahvad boy? How do you like dem apples! Err, ok, wrong school but the reference still works. Did I mention the kid bats in the middle of a lineup that features Xander, JD and Mookie. Those are very good players we all know and love on a first name basis. Any hesitation most likely stems from the inevitable return of Eduardo Nunez and Dustin Pedroia (L out L) stealing his playing time, but I trust Alex Cora to play the young guys when the time comes. He was a BUY and needs to be owned wherever he’s available, Dustin and Eduardo don’t hit moon shots like that, folks. It’s time to join the Michael Chavis fan club.
Here’s what else I saw in fantasy baseball Friday night:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Have you not heard yet? The hottest goss (I promise no Avengers spoilers) is that the Los Angeles Angels will call up top prospect slash future OC-heartthrob Griffin Canning to start against the Toronto Blue Jays on Tuesday. What a Friday for the rooks! We got Vlad, Kieboom, and Rengifo all in one night, and now Griffin Canning. It’s almost like a symbolic passing of the torch with all these young guys arriving this week. New replacing old, etc. And no, that was not an Endgame spoiler. Leave me alone, nerds! I haven’t even seen it yet you bought all the tickets! Normally, I’d save the prospect posts for Mike or Grey, but I don’t want you dear readers and even dearer web crawling robots missing out on another sexy call up this weekend. So let’s talk about Griffin Canning. Sounds like a very dangerous game or the new coolest extreme sport they might play at Hogwarts. Griffin’s got a 0.56 ERA, 0.94 WHIP and 17/2 K/BB ratio through his first three starts at AAA Salt Lake Bees (bzzz), which to be fair, looks a whole lot better than anything the Angels starters have been doing over the past four weeks. Canning features four solid pitches including his mid-90s fastball and a real nasty curve. His past struggles have all been related to his command but he’s thrown 66% of his pitches for strikes so far this year and the 3.3 BB% indicates he may have figured things out. Griffin doesn’t necessarily profile as an top end ace, but he could be a solid back of the rotation starter and help your fantasy team immediately. Rookie pitchers may be my kryptonite (not a spoiler), but what are you waiting for? The prospect sweepstakes has begun and Griffin Canning is worth a flier in all leagues. The Angels think he’s got the stuff to help them win right now and methinks he could do the same for you.
Here’s what else I saw Friday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Yesterday, Gary Sanchez went 3-for-6, 6 RBIs with his 4th, 5th and 6th homer, hitting .258. “Thanks,” said Gary Sanchez’s owner from 2018, and I believe he was being sarcastic. You know how when you’re walking on the sidewalk and try to avoid stepping on the cracks because of the harm it will cause to your mother’s back? Then as you’re OCD-stepping around the cracks, you get off-step and start only stepping on cracks, and your mom texts you, “My back!” That’s what it must feel like for Sanchez’s 2018 owners. I know how you feel because that’s how it feels right now for me with Rougned Odor. I’m out in 2018 when Odor is decent, then in for this year’s abomination. When I’m supposed to avoid, I don’t and, when I’m supposed to be in on them, I’m not. FMFBBL! If you have Sanchez, well done, it looks like you’re back in for the good Gary. “Did someone say ‘back?'” Sorry, mom! Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?