Please see our player page for C.J. Cron to see projections for today, the next 7 days and rest of season as well as stats and gamelogs designed with the fantasy baseball player in mind.

After blowing a save Monday night, Hunter Strickland broke his hand, punching a door.  Apparently, he doesn’t know how to close a door either.  He also doesn’t know what punch outs are.  He can’t figure out pitching from punching.  He confused saves with staves.  I can go on.  He puts the loser in closer.  A fit for all rages.  Okay, you get it.  He’s going to miss 6-8 weeks, needing surgery on his hand.  What kind of idiot punches a door with their pitching hand?!  This was his season to finally prove he could close in the majors, and he threw that away.  He’ll likely get replaced by Sam Dyson (who got the 2/3 IP, 0 ER save last night) or Tony Watson, and Dyson, Watson or Mark Melancon will take the job, run with it, and Strickland’s literally ruined his career.  “To be continued” for Strickland should always read, Moron.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

On Saturday, Charlie Morton went 3 2/3 IP, 1 ER, 1 Hit (!), 6 BBs (Oy), 4 Ks, ERA at 2.82 vs. the never-seen-nothing-that-was-too-terrible-to-swing-at Rangers, no less.  I can think of another word that rhymes with Chazz to call Morton.  It sounds a bit like the spa we operated back in 2010.  Don’t you remember Spazzball?  The retreat for prematurely balding men who had to check in with their moms once a day.  You don’t remember the Ballpark Water in the lobby that we floated hot dogs in?  It was poorly conceived, for sure.  Like this start by Morton, where he said, “I think over the course of the past couple weeks my delivery’s just kind of gotten a little out of whack and timing has gotten a little out of whack. And today was just really bad. It has to do with my front side. I’m just flying open.”  Well, at least he feels bad and seems to know the issue, right?  You don’t have a category for empathy in your league?  Can you check with your commish about adding it?  For unstints, if a player yawns after another player yawns, then they get an empathy point.  No?  Okay.  Hopefully, Morton can right the ship, but I can’t say I’m not concerned.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

And another one! After hitting two home runs on Thursday, Joc Pederson homered in his second straight game Friday night going 1-for-4, with his seventh bomb. That’s six homers in the past week while hitting .450 with nine runs, and driving in eight. Whoa, get off my Joc! Seriously, he’s mine! But he could be yours too, he was a BUY and Grey just gave you his Joc Pederson fantasy. To be fair, my Pederson fantasy involves a lot more heavy breathing, Mookie Betts and scented oils. I usually don’t like to cover a player who was just, just featured in another post, but the amount of times you see a player featured in posts in a single week directly reflects the urgency in which you need to pick him up. Joc is available in over three quarters of fantasy leagues (that’s more than half, folks!) right now and could be a 30+ home run hitter. That’s 20 home runs for your fantasy team from now until you ultimately win your league in September. Joc has historically been a good power source but typically streaky and a huge drain on batting average (career .227 hitter). Not the case this year as he’s slashing .272/.345/.523. According to Grey, “Some of my hotter buys…while wearing a thong… Joc is pretty sexy…” And that’s me completely misquoting portions of Grey out of context! You get the idea! Joc is hitting all the home runs. This is Rock’n Joc baseball at it’s finest! Somebody call Dan Cortese!

Here’s what else I saw in fantasy baseball Friday night:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Finally, the Rays took a cue from Fox, and started Jake Bauers‘ clock.  Here’s an updated 24:  FBI agent, breathlessly, into a phone, “The President is in danger!”  Assistant to the FBI director lowers the phone, speaks to the director, less breathlessly, “Have you tried Thai basil chicken?”  FBI director, “Basil in Thai dishes always make me think there should be tomato sauce.  Ya know, Italians have that basil thing already.”  FBI agent into the phone, breathlessly, “Did you hear me, the President’s in danger!”  FBI assistant, “Um, yeah, you’ve been on vacay, and we’re no longer taking matters of the President’s safety as seriously as much as we once did.”  I keed!  Don’t hit me with your political agenda.  So, Jake Bauers was called up to presumably play every day.  I mean, if the Rays waited this long to bring him up, they’re not doing it for a bench bat.  He’s a little bit of everything vs. a lot of one thing, which is less exciting in short-term, but could be something long-term.  His Steamer projections are yawnstipating 7/8/.238 (click his name to see projections), but I could see him being a bit closer to 9/16/.265/.345.  Not bad, not great.  Breathlessly, “He’s okay.”  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Times like this you wish Noah Syndergaard wasn’t complaining of a ligament strain and just had a bad lisp.   “Oh no! My finger is Thor, and it needs a Syndergaard.”  More like Noah Fingergaard!  Noah Syndergaard hit the DL with a finger ligament strain.  I’m fully aware that at least one person in every league ignored my advice to ignore Syndergaard and drafted him very early, so I will do something I’ve never done before, not gloat.  True story, my crazy aunt used to say I gloated all the time behind her back (I did) and I drove her into a mental asylum.  See, when I say my ‘crazy’ aunt, I’m being literal!  So, without gloating, let me just say when a pitcher proves himself to be injury prone, take his word for it.  His Synderwoord?  DeGrom’s already had a dislocated elbow, and my money’s on him getting injured at some point again soon too.  Same goes for Kershaw.  Not trying to be harsh, it’s just truth bombs.  If you own Syndergaard, hope he returns relatively soon, but this is the kind of injury that sidelines a pitcher for an entire season.  Sorry, another truth bomb.  Oh, and the Mets said Syndergaard can return in ten days.  What’s the opposite of a truth bomb?  That’s what that is.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

It’s late may and another minor league phenom has made it to the majors. Juan Soto made a grand entrance in his second major league at bat and went opposite field for a 422 foot 3-run home run in the second inning in front of the National’s home crowd. What a moment. One day before that, big name prospect in the Pirate’s organization, Austin Meadows, hit his first career home run in front of his home crowd. Although Austin Meadows isn’t a power hitter, he can provide big league value in other ways. Just short of a month ago, Ronald Acuna Jr., made his debut for the Braves with a furious first week. Despite all of the young excitement around the league, there are savvy vets all over the majors that will help you win fantasy baseball championships. Also there is an under-performing potential superstar that I have been wanting to write about for weeks. It’s that time of week again to take a look at the player rater and find some value.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

How good is Vladimir Guerrero Jr.?  The Blue Jays are now saying they’d like to see how he deals with failure.  He’s so good, he’s never failed!  He will be up by mid-June.  The Jays can longer hold him down anymore without concocting fake reasons.  Very soon you’re going to read this from me:  “Vlad, the Mini Impaler, just jacked another homer to go with his .320 average.  Aren’t you glad you listened to me and grabbed him back in mid-May?  You didn’t grab him?  Aw, shucks, you did a hashtag fail on that one, didn’t you?  It’s all right, there should be another generational talent up in five years.  I hear Bartolo Colon’s got 17 sons — one could be up soon and light the world on fire, or at least put the world in a microwave, open the door 30 seconds before the world is fully heated and eat it.”  And that’s me quoting future me!  So, do you wanna be the guy (or girl who can totally hang with the guys), saying, “Damn, Grey, you’re handsome AF but your witticisms cut deep sometimes.”  Or do you want to read my wound-salting barbs and think, “I’m so glad I own Vlad.  Now who is this Bartolo Colon Jr. he’s talking about?  I should comment calling him Bartolo Semi-Colon and totally make Grey cackle!”  Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Starling Marte hit the DL with an oblique injury, which apparently opened up space for Austin Meadows to be called up.  Okay, I wanna be happy.  I do.  C**nt Hurdle seemed to do the right thing, Spike Lee.  However, I wanna mitch and boan about one thing.  The Pirates had to trade for Corey Dickerson to clog the outfield?  Dickerson screams DH.  Literally, he wakes at night screaming, “DH!”  He has David Ortourettiz’s.  Marte has already said he doesn’t think he’ll be out more than a week or two, so where’s Meadows going?  Back to the minors?  The Pirates have been doing The Running Man in place for years now, maybe you call up your 1st round pick who has 1,626 minor league at-bats!  Here’s what Prospector Ralph said in his top 100 fantasy baseball prospects, “The skills put him in the top three entering last season, but a injury riddled season, including his third consecutive year with a hamstring injury have me doubting the upside I once dreamed on. Meadows at his best combines plus hitting, running, and plate discipline with untapped raw power.  There’s still superstar upside here.  Speaking of which, I’d love to hit Grey upside his head.”  What the hey!  He looks like a 10/20/.280 guy to me, assuming he stays up, but assuming makes an ass out of the U. of Ming.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

First base is traditionally a deep position, and a solid place to look when in search of some power. However, some of fantasy’s top scoring first basemen, namely Matt Adams and Brandon Belt, have come across on the waiver wire and made a big impact. Since it is such a deep position, there are often guys putting forth strong numbers that are being overlooked and underowned. I’m here to offer a few guys that are available in over 50% of ESPN and Yahoo leagues. I tried to include two standard league options, and one deeper league option since I know deep leagues are heavily discriminated against in the fantasy sphere. I’m always looking help you all get ahead in your H2H leagues, so here’s three from me:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Now, on most occasions, if one were to toot his own horn, he’d never leave the house.  And, coincidentally, I don’t go out that much.  However, seriously, rain down your props on me for Nick Pivetta.  Rain them down!  Who else told you to grab him the 1st week of the season?  Yesterday, he went 7 IP, 1 ER, 3 baserunners, 11 Ks, ERA at 3.72.  I’ve been telling you people — yeah, you people! — to own Pivetta forever (six weeks).  He’s a new, different — better even! — pitcher this year.  He has a 10 K/9 and 2.2 BB/9.  If you don’t know why that’s good, I can help you, but it could take some time.  You do know what numbers are, right?  Okay, good first step.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?