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Dodgers announced their top pitching prospect Josiah Gray will make his major league debut today. There’s gonna be so many Grays/Greys in the majors, it’s gonna be like 50 Shades of Grey, and you’re gonna be pouring candle wax on your nips while drafting your fantasy teams. “Ow, Grey, please let me just type up this memo to HR without you tweaking my areolae!” That’s gonna be you wishing you could get all these Gray/Greys out of your head. But. You. Can’t. *Cue evil laugh that turns into a coughing fit* So, here’s Prospect Itch with the sitch, “(Josiah Gray) played 72 games at shortstop across his two college seasons but shifted to the mound full-time as a pro and has been incredibly effective in his brief career. At 6’1” with excellent ride on his his four-seamer and two benders he can bury, Gray’s traits are ideal for succeeding in the pitching paradigm that dominates our game now. His athleticism enables plus command that might be elite when all is said and done and has been good enough already to limit batters to just four home runs across four levels of minor league baseball–three of those coming in the hitter friendly California League. The Dodgers didn’t need his assistance in 2020, but I suspect he was ready to succeed if called upon and will be eager to answer the bell early in 2021. He’s a redraft target for me in deep leagues and someone I’ll be adding in shallow leagues when it seems his time is nigh. Gray is the man Grey is not.” Okay, not cool. His numbers are awesome this year — 12.6 K/9, 1.2 BB/9, 2.87 ERA, but he doesn’t seem able to rack up innings (15 2/3 IP). Never the hoo! I added JoJo Gray in two NL-Only leagues, and would grab him in the shallowest of mixed leagues too, if I needed to chase the upside dragon JoJo Pitcher, Your Career Is Calling. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Gavin Lux – Hit the IL with a hamstring strain. Boy, that’s just his Lux! Corey Seager is due back on Wednesday, so tamp down your McKinstry pin flare.

Justin Turner – 1-for-3 and his 17th homer, and his 2nd homer in as many games. Turner is red-hot, and he’s hitting well too.

Max Muncy – 1-for-2 and his 22nd homer. A guy named Max shouldn’t have another gear, but he keeps going.

Brandon Crawford – Hit the IL with a strained oblique. Oh well, you got two seasons’ worth of Crawford for the price you paid on draft day.

Buster Posey – 2-for-5, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 13th homer, as he was activated from the IL. Uncle Luke’s fantasy team “Pop that Posey, Pop-Pop that Posey” must be doing well.

Wilmer Flores – 1-for-5 and his 10th homer. Everyone on the Giants is playing over their head, including Wilmer for crying out loud.

Kevin Gausman – 3 IP, 2 ER, ERA at 1.84, as he returned to the club, after a family emergency. Well, now I have a fantasy emergency, so I need you to bear down, Gausman!

Jarren Duran – 1-for-6, 2 RBIs and his 1st homer. Duran out there saying no No Mas. He could’ve just said Un Mas, or Mas Mas, or XMas, where X stands for the integer he chooses on how many Mas’s he’s going to be Mas’ing. I would’ve said, “Mas and I’ll let you know at a later time when No Mas.” Because it’s impossible to know how many Mas’s it’s going to be. Any hoo! Duran looks good! He took yesterday’s home run out the opposite way, and he has 70-grade speed, i.e., can steal 40+ bags. Also, in yesterday’s game, Rafael Devers (1-for-4, 2 runs) added in his 23rd homer, as he gave an Un Mas; Hunter Renfroe (1-for-5, 4 RBIs) Mas’d it up with his 14th; Enrique Hernandez (3-for-5, 3 runs, 3 RBIs) hit his 12th and 13th homer, or you might know him as Enrisqué Mas. Finally, Dannys Antana (2-for-5, 3 RBIs) hit his 4th homer. Dannys is a Mas-been.

Nick Pivetta – 6 2/3 IP, 4 ER, 13 baserunners, 4 Ks, ERA at 4.37. He got a huge early lead, then Pivetta let the tide take him out to the Ivictory Coast for a free night at the W.

Alek Manoah – Hit the IL because he fell down the dugout stairs. Only excusable if you’re filming a Life Alert commercial.

Ross Stripling – 1/3 IP, 6 ER, ERA at 5.04. I’ll fondly recall what my seat feels like but I won’t ever be able to sit again.

Jazz Chisholm – Hit the IL, and my guess is he’s done for the season, but maybe a month or so, wait, that’s the season, I’m just riffing. Get it, you cool cats, it’s Jazz.

Miguel Rojas – 3-for-4 and his 5th homer, as he hit leadoff and played shortstop. Might see a little schmotato in a bottle with Chisholm out.

Garrett Cooper – Hit the IL. He’s been stricken by Gamelitis for the last few years. As soon as Cooper hits a home run, he gets injured for a month.

Juan Soto – 3-for-4, 3 runs, 5 RBIs and his 15th and 16th homer, hitting .301. *screaming unintelligible* Thank you, Sexy Dr. Pepper!

Josh Bell – 1-for-5 and his 13th homer. I’m not going to dwell on how he only has three less homers than Sexy Dr. Pepper, because I’ve started a new positive way of thinking. Though, I keep thinking about how Seth Brown has 11 homers, but I’m not letting it drag me down!

Tres Barrera – 2-for-5, 2 runs and his 1st homer. If Tres Barrera doesn’t sound like a luchador, then I’m not currently wearing a shiny mask, doing a dropkick off the top rope.

Trea Turner – 2-for-4, 2 runs, 4 RBIs and his 18th homer, hitting .319. The Nats have a Trea and a Tres. They need a Treb-Trer.

Jon Lester – 7 IP, 0 ER, 6 baserunners, 7 Ks, ERA at 4.99, and he pitchslapped David Hess. Next year, Jon Lester in the Home Run Derby! Streamonator hates his next start, and I don’t disagree.

Tyler Glasnow – Feels good playing catch. Yeah, him and every 9-year-old with their dad.

Ryan Yarbrough – 5 2/3 IP, 6 ER, ERA at 4.59. Hey, um, did someone smuggle 2019 baseballs into the games yesterday?

Shane Bieber – Played catch for the first time since his injury. Should fix him up with Glasnow and they can qualify for the Olympics of playing catch.

Franmil Reyes – 2-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 16th homer. Also, in this game, Yordan Alvarez (2-for-3, 2 RBIs) hit his 17th homer. Yordan and Franmil is the Spiderman pointing at himself meme.

Kyle Crick – Designated for assignment. Yo, the Pirates are nuts, bros and five lady-bros. They could’ve traded Crick before putting a giant DFA flag on him that he’s useless.

Caleb Smith – 6 2/3 IP, 2 ER, 8 baserunners, 7 Ks, ERA at 4.38. Ya know what’s gonna be cool? When Caleb shows up in camp next spring and needs Tommy John surgery because he didn’t go this year.

Pavin Smith – 1-for-4 and his 8th homer. Elias Sports Bureau said this is the first game a player with the very rare last name Smith homered in a start by a player named Smith. Then they burped. Should someone check on Elias?

Eduardo Escobar – 2-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 22nd homer, and 2nd homer in as many games. Edu-Escobar is literally the School of Rock.

Jake Woodford – 5 2/3 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners, 6 Ks, ERA at 4.06. Cards manufacture pitchers who out-perform their peripherals. Is there a little lucky pitcher factory in John Gant’s hair?

Dylan Carlson – 2-for-4, 4 RBIs and his 8th homer. ‘Member when I thought Carlson was breaking out in April? Yeah, well, I was talking about acne, so I’m still right.

Paul Goldschmidt – 2-for-5, 2 RBIs and his 16th homer. Au Shizz!

Patrick Wisdom – 3-for-4, 2 runs and his 14th homer. Ya know how everyone’s talking about what a great piece Kris Bryant would be for a contender? On our 30-day Player Rater, Wisdom’s been better than Bryant, and it’s not that close.

Pete Alonso – 2-for-6, 3 RBIs and his 18th homer. Albombso!

Dominic Smith – 1-for-5 and his 10th homer, and eight homers in the last two months. April and May were so bust-worthy that he put himself in too big of a hole to dig out for season-long stats, but he was kind of a 2nd half guy last year.

Michael Conforto – 3-for-6, 3 runs, 3 RBIs and his 5th and 6th homer, and four homers in the last week-ish (the break hurts my brain counting days), and Conforto is the type to be the hottest hitter in all of baseball for a month. Absolutely should get back in.

Jeff McNeil – 2-for-6, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 4th homer, hitting .260. Crazy how terrible all the Mets hitters have been, but the glass-half-full way of looking at that is they’re due.

Edwin Diaz – 1 IP, 1 ER, ERA at 4.30, and yet another blown save. Trevor May (2/3 IP, 0 ER, ERA at 3.31, and his 3rd save) would be the guy who I’d grab, but I wouldn’t be surprised if the Mets trade for Dick-Rod or Kimbrel in the coming days.

Shohei Ohtani – 6 IP, 0 ER, 4 baserunners, 8 Ks, ERA at 3.21. The Angels’ trademark of having a player who is the greatest to ever play baseball continues as they stick the landing in 4th place in their division. It truly is incredible.

Ramon Laureano – 1-for-4, 3 RBIs and his 14th homer, hitting .235. Getting people asking about dropping Laureano. Hey, I didn’t accidentally put Laureano in the top 100 for the 2nd half.

Cole Irvin – 7 IP, 0 ER, 8 baserunners, 3 Ks, ERA at 3.42. Streamonator is barely positive for Irvin’s next start, and, honestly, I wouldn’t mess with him in away games. Even if it’s the M’s, one of the worst hitting teams in history.

Kyle Gibson – 5 IP, 8 ER, ERA at 2.86. That’s what the Rangers get for not trading him during the break. Y’all ding dongs and Gibson’s trade value got dinged and donged.

Akil Baddoo – 2-for-5, 3 runs, 4 RBIs and his 7th homer, hitting .278. Picked up Yabba Dabba Baddoo about a month ago and never considered dropping him.

Casey Mize – 4 IP, 0 ER, ERA at 3.44 in 54 pitches, and he refused to shake Hinch’s hand as he came off the mound. Gonna see a lot more of pitchers either getting scratched or scratching their head at being pulled for no reason, as innings are throttled.

Jonathan Schoop – 2-for-5, 2 runs, 2 RBIs, hitting .285. Said he could be heating the schmotato back up yesterday, and today I’m reaffirming.

Luis Robert – Will begin a rehab assignment on Wednesday. Hey, did the the White Sox trade for Wilford Brimley and the Cocoon pool pod?

Yoan Moncada – 2-for-7, 7th homer, 2nd homer in two days, and I keep saying he could be one of those guys who has a huge 2nd half, think: 20/10/.300.

Lance Lynn – 7 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners, 4 Ks, ERA at 1.94, and out on 89 pitches. Not sure why Tony Lol Russa keeps pulling Lynn so quickly. Let my man Lance Lynn loose!

Tim Anderson – 1-for-4, 2 runs and his 9th homer. Gotta provide more run support for Lynn than just a solo homer, which is what I whispered into my dreamcatcher as I floated it out to sea. Chance Sisco is a lot like my dream catcher, because they’re both useless!

Gavin Sheets – 1-for-4, 3 RBIs and his 5th homer. The White Sox could roll out a rake dressed in Freddy Krueger’s flannel and it would have a productive month.

Nelson Cruz – 1-for-6, 2 RBIs and his 19th homer. The year is 2087. The climate scientists are saying it’s not safe to go outside. Nelson Cruz, wrapped in aluminum foil, is leading the league in homers at the age of 107.

Mitch Garver – 2-for-3 and his 9th and 10th homer, as he was activated from the IL. He returns after having surgery on his testicle. *slowly crosses legs* Props to Mitch Garver. If I were him, I wouldn’t be able to watch the ball drop in Times Square without getting the shakes.