Please see our player page for Caleb Smith to see projections for today, the next 7 days and rest of season as well as stats and gamelogs designed with the fantasy baseball player in mind.

I’m like Neo dodging bullets, only instead of bullets, it’s bad pitchers.  Bends in slo-mo and avoids Ed-Rod, twists to the right and avoids Trevor Bauer, twists left and sees Jalen Beeks…Well, I’d never own him, so…Then again, he has been pretty good as the Malcolm for the Rays.  Ya know, their Middle man.  Oh, crap, I’ve been shot!  *dies in slo-mo*  Beeeeeeeeeeks!  *clutches chest, searches for bullet wound, can’t find it* I thought I was shot.  Oh, noooooooo!!!  It’s worse than I thought!  It was my fantasy team that was shot!  You could’ve avoided this whole megillah for the last, oh, I don’t know, 12 years, minus two random years in the middle (not Malcolm) if you just owned Justin Verlander.  Yesterday, he took a no-hitter into the 7th inning, and went 8 IP, 1 ER, 1 hit, 1 walk, 12 Ks, ERA at 2.24, and on our Player Rater, he is the number one starter.  Barely as good as Tim Anderson, but, ya know, those are noogs for another day.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

My preseason NL MVP pick was Travis Shaw.  *turns to a mirror* You’re handsome, but hella stupid.  My mirror reflection separates from my body.  The apparition picks up a see-through suitcase, “I think it’s time we went our separate ways.”  But how will you get along out there without me? Can an apparition order Chick-fil-A or boba? “Don’t make this harder than it needs to be.”  It was one bad call.  “Tell that to my teams with Travis Shaw and Daniel Palka.”  Nooooooo!!!  Any hoo!  My soul left me after I told it to draft Travis Shaw, and I can’t blame it.  What a garbage call.  Maybe Shaw will return as Travos so we can “see worth.”  It’s a game of puns!  With the Brewers moving on from Shaw by sending him to the Ineffective List, they called up Keston Hiura.  I know I say this shizz three times a week, but he could be *the* call-up of the year.  Here’s what I’ve said in the past, “One scout said this offseason at the Arizona Fall League, ‘We all talk about the bat of Vladdy, with obvious reason, but outside of Vladdy, I’d call Keston Hiura the purest power bat I saw out in Arizona. He’s just a special, special kid.’  The scout continued, ‘Have you seen my chew?’ turning his lip inside out, ‘Ah, there it is,’ then after a pause, ‘I’m big league, baby!’ I actually have owned Huira for the better part of two years in two separate NL-Only leagues, and I’m a fan.  Think there’s a chance for a 18/7/.270 season.  That sounds downright–Don’t say Jed Lowrie, don’t say Lowrie, don’t say Lowrie, don’t say Lowrie– Led Jowrie!  (What’s worse, I thought of saying ‘what Brett Lawrie was supposed to be’ — woof!)  In Double-A last year, Hiura hit 6 HRs with 11 SBs and .272 in only 73 games, but his bat will play, and, as mentioned above about how he looked in Arizona, he destroyed the AFL, getting better and better.”  And that’s me quoting me!  He continued to get better this year, hitting .333 with 11 HRs in 37 Triple-A games, while chipping in four steals.  He was striking out way too much in Triple-A to hit .333 in the majors, but 18/7/.270 sounds about right from this point forward with a chance for more.  Maybe he could even be the NL MVP.  I’m kidding, apparition!  Please, come back, I’m empty inside!.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

B_Don and Donkey Teeth are back at it, discussing various forms of sausage along with a little fantasy baseball. Journeyman Chris Bassitt is the object of Donkey’s affection this week while B_Don sifts through hours of Caleb Smith film and Coach Ditka highlights. Find out whether you should be buying or selling both of these arms in your respective league.

In the rapid fire pickups segment, the guys chat up youngsters Carter Kieboom and Nate Lowe. Other potential pickups discussed include Griffin Canning, Jesus Aguilar, Jose Peraza, Luis Rengifo, Harrison Bader, and Jorge Mateo. It’s time to get your sausage into mid-season form, tune in now!
Please, blog, may I have some more?

The Royals swept the Rays yesterday in a doubleheader, taking down Blake Snell (3 IP, 7 ER, ERA at 4.31).  Snell can’t handle the Royals, they can Snell what he’s cooking.  As Razzball commenter, tigersharkz said, “Yep, Snell’s fine. Recovering from a broken toe in 10 days happens all the time in real life.” From Young MC’s Bust A Move, “Blake is getting shot down because he’s over-Snellous. …so hey, Reigning Cy, don’t bust a toe.”  No foolsies, but pitchers need their toes to push off, and anything can get them out of whack.  I’m officially concerned.  Of course, the Royals were led by Adalberto Mondesi (3-for-7, 2 runs, 3 RBIs and a slam (4) and double legs (9, 10) on opposite sides of a doubleheader, hitting .295).  Adalberto is my daddy — excuse me, Addadytogrey Mondesi. He’s now on pace for 20/50/.290. Yeah, terrible 2nd round pick. Also, chipping in for the Royals was Kelvin Gutierrez (2-for-7, 4 RBIs and his 1st homer). How big is this guy? Have you seen him? He’s like $54 T-bone vending machine steak. (Gonna keep using this until it catches on.) Is he related to The Big FraGu (throwback)?  KelGu, take me away.  He looks like he should be able to hit 20 homers and steal 10+ bags, but I don’t know if he’ll have the playing time, so best for deeper leagues for now. Terrance Gore keeps hitting (1-for-4, 1 run, hitting .400).  I’d like to see Terrance Gore on the Big floor piano. It would be like Jerry Lee Lewis on coke. …Whole Lotta Stealin’ Going On!  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Jordan Lyles was exceptional Friday night capturing his second win of the year going six strong innings allowing just four hits, a walk and striking out six. He now leads the league with a 0.53 ERA. Mazel tov, Jordan, and happy Pesach! Well, someone clearly did not observe the High Sabbath last night. He had better things to do, busy mowing down the San Francisco hitters. So is the Bucs pitching coach Ray Searage is a miracle worker or a Three Eyed Raven or some kind of warg magic man?? The Pirates pitching staff now boasts a league best 2.54 ERA. But back to Jordan. Lyles has now struck out 16 over his past two starts and holds some real pretty ratios like that league leading 0.53 ERA and a 0.88 WHIP with an 19/5 K/BB. Yes, more please. Put that on your seder plate. After the all star break last year, Lyles started relying more on a combination of his curve ball and 4-seam fastball and benefited from this greatly posting a 3.00 ERA with hitters batting just .213 against him. His curve ball, in particular, can be pretty nasty when its on and when he’s mixing in the 4-seamer effectively Jordan has looked like a dominant pitcher. Seems like he’s brought this strategy with him to Pittsburgh and things with Searage have clicked. He had his outing shortened Friday after taking a line drive off the hand but the injury does not appear to be serious and he is expected to make his next start Wednesday versus Arizona. Lyles is available in over 75% of fantasy leagues and worth your streaming consideration at the very least. He’s starting to look like a steal for Pittsburgh, and he seems like a real mensch you may not want to Pass over!

Here’s what else I saw in fantasy baseball Friday night:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

As Ice Cube sang on the now-iconic song, It Was An Away Game, “Just waking up in the morning gotta thank God.  Today, German was away, carrying my whole squad.”  Then later on, he sings, “I felt ill after that big fat DeSclafani, pitching like he just pulled out of bed in jammies, but German killed those baserunners like every role by Allison Janney.  And my teams run deep so deep so deep I’d put your ass to sleep talking about how on one team Alex Cobb’s my number one, but I didn’t hesitate to call German Marquez my top gun.”  Imagine you were a Rockies fan who only watched home games, the team’s contract with German Marquez (9 IP, 0 ER, 1 hit, 0 walks, 9 Ks, ERA at 2.00) would be tré confusing.  After 100 pitches, he is so low effort throwing 97 MPH in the 9th inning, and occasionally drops in an off-the-table curve that is freaking brothers every way like M.J.  I can’t believe today German’s game was away.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I was low on David Dahl going into the season for just this very reason. Here’s what I wrote in the comment section on why I had Dahl ranked as my 90th ranked keeper:

“2015: Spleen, knee
2017: Ribs, back
2018: Foot

The injuries are just stacking up with this guy unfortunately. He’s like Eugene from Hey Arnold!

Even if he is claiming he’s 100% I worry about any adjustments/over-compensations he might do to avoid getting hurt again. Some players are just injury-prone unfortunately regardless of how skilled they are.”

Early reports from the Dahl household are that he’s only going to miss the 10-day minimum with this abdomen injury, but he’ll likely get hurt again.. Pick Up: Kevin Kiermaier (20.5%.) Replace one power/speed oft-injured outfielder with another? 

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Yesterday, Gary Sanchez went 3-for-6, 6 RBIs with his 4th, 5th and 6th homer, hitting .258.  “Thanks,” said Gary Sanchez’s owner from 2018, and I believe he was being sarcastic. You know how when you’re walking on the sidewalk and try to avoid stepping on the cracks because of the harm it will cause to your mother’s back?  Then as you’re OCD-stepping around the cracks, you get off-step and start only stepping on cracks, and your mom texts you, “My back!”  That’s what it must feel like for Sanchez’s 2018 owners.  I know how you feel because that’s how it feels right now for me with Rougned Odor.  I’m out in 2018 when Odor is decent, then in for this year’s abomination.  When I’m supposed to avoid, I don’t and, when I’m supposed to be in on them, I’m not.  FMFBBL!  If you have Sanchez, well done, it looks like you’re back in for the good Gary.  “Did someone say ‘back?'”  Sorry, mom!  Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Mike Clevinger is old school.  Not old school like really old school, but instead what we’d consider old school.  Ya know, good.  That’s one adjective for old school nowadays.  Like things were once better.  Of course, shizz was sideways with grabby hands and unhappy people during old school times too, but there’s a Gaussian blur of nostalgia that washes over people to make them think old school is good.  So, Mike Clevinger is old school like that.  He’s also old school in that he can throw a lot of pitches.  Not really old school like when Vida Blue used to throw 175 pitches by the 3rd inning, get an arm transplant then come out and throw another 100 pitches with a groundskeeper’s arm sloppily attached to his shoulder.  Nah, not real old school, but old school as we think about it in the new school.  That’s Mike Clevinger.  A youngish starter (he’s 28) who can throw 200 IP, when so many other starters are lucky to get through 150.  Yesterday, Mike Clevinger went 7 IP, 0 ER 1 hit, 3 walks, 12 Ks as he did exactly what I expected from him when I said he was a number one starter coming into this year and you said, “Grey, you’re handsome as fudge, but Clevinger is a #2.”  Nah, you’re doing a number two out yo’ mouth, Clevinger is a number one.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Now that we have a week of baseball under our belts, these streamer articles will be much easier. The first week was a complete crapshoot of guessing and now we finally have some set rotations. What we also have is the beautiful Streamonator provided by Rudy Gamble. This fantastic tool gives us a good idea of how we expect every starter to perform throughout the upcoming week and we’ll be using its projections to map out some streamers. The ownership percentages are a bit different in every league, so we’ll be focusing on guys who are low-owned throughout every format. With that in mind, let’s get started with a few two-start streamers. 

Please, blog, may I have some more?