Yesterday, Gary Sanchez went 3-for-6, 6 RBIs with his 4th, 5th and 6th homer, hitting .258.  “Thanks,” said Gary Sanchez’s owner from 2018, and I believe he was being sarcastic. You know how when you’re walking on the sidewalk and try to avoid stepping on the cracks because of the harm it will cause to your mother’s back?  Then as you’re OCD-stepping around the cracks, you get off-step and start only stepping on cracks, and your mom texts you, “My back!”  That’s what it must feel like for Sanchez’s 2018 owners.  I know how you feel because that’s how it feels right now for me with Rougned Odor.  I’m out in 2018 when Odor is decent, then in for this year’s abomination.  When I’m supposed to avoid, I don’t and, when I’m supposed to be in on them, I’m not.  FMFBBL!  If you have Sanchez, well done, it looks like you’re back in for the good Gary.  “Did someone say ‘back?'”  Sorry, mom!  Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

CC Sabathia – Will rejoin the Yanks’ rotation for upcoming series vs. the White Sox.  What an O. Henry-like twist for CC.  His return means the Yanks have to get rid of Lasagna.

J.A. Happ – 4 1/3 IP, 2 ER vs. the O’s, ERA at 6.48.  Don’t want to yell fire in the theater of Razzball, but Happ’s got me panicked.  Don’t know what’s going on with him, but about to alter the bumper sticker on my VW to “Happ Happens.”

Clint Frazier – 4-for-5, 4 RBIs and his 2nd and 3rd homer, and three homers in the last two games.  I put in a FAAB bid for Frazier in one deeper mixed league.  Did I get him?  Let’s go to the video tape! *stares at video of me refreshing my browser window*

Gleyber Torres – 2-for-5, 3 runs and his 3rd homer, hitting .371.  I usually don’t back off preseason calls so quickly, but I’m just about ready to rip up my Gleyber overrated stance.  My big worry was a crowded infield, but, with injuries, he’s never leaving the lineup.  Honestly, the entire Yanks’ team might get to 30 homers just facing the O’s.

Aaron Judge – 0-for-4 as the Yankees scored 15 runs.  At least buy me dinner first, if you’re gonna be such a ticker tease.

Chris Davis – 0-for-his-last-44, hitting .000.  A Marvel movie I’d want to see:  Infinity War, Baseball Edition:  Chris Davis vs. Trevor Rosenthal.

Steven Matz – 5 IP, 0 ER, 6 baserunners (4 BBs), 8 Ks, ERA at 0.87 vs. Patrick Corbin – 6 IP, 3 ER, 7 baserunners, 9 Ks, ERA at 3.75.  Okay, couple quick points here since I watched this game (I realize I need to start watching games other than the Mets).  Gary Cohen said Matz’s ability to get through the 1st two innings unscathed could be a turning point for his entire season, and I agree.  Or he will just struggle in the opening innings all year.  I don’t know.  But it did seem like a light switch flipped for him after the 2nd inning and he started attacking hitters more.  Final point, it says a lot why he’s a number five fantasy starter and Corbin’s a number one when you see Corbin (6 IP, 3 ER) had 9 Ks thru 5 IP and had thrown 69 pitches (nice) and Matz was out of the game with 103 pitches.  Needs to be more economical.  Okay, one final final point, Corbin’s earned run line might not look as good as Matz’s for this game, but Corbin pitched a much better game.

Zack Wheeler – 4 2/3 IP, 7 ER, ERA at 10.24.  After the five-run 2nd inning, I checked my teams to see if I owned Zach Wheeler instead of Zack Wheeler.  No luck.

Pete Alonso – 2-for-4, 2 runs, 3 RBIs and his 3rd homer, hitting .382.  If you haven’t seen Alonso homer yet, you should check out some clips.  The other day, he lunged, off-balance, and knocked one out to the deepest part of the field.  Only thing that can stop Alonso is a good old fashioned Home Run Derby curse.

Michael Conforto – 2-for-4, 2 runs, 3 RBIs and his 2nd homer, hitting .351.  Should count for a half a home run because it came off the Nats’ bullpen.

Anthony Rendon – 1-for-3, 3 runs, 3 RBIs and his 4th homer, hitting .433.  Bummed out like Evan Gattis 1.0 that I don’t own Rendon anywhere.

Brock Holt – Hit the IL because his son poked him in his eye.  This is what happens when you let a TV babysit your kids and the Three Stooges comes on.

David Price – 6 IP, 4 ER, 8 baserunners, 4 Ks, ERA at 6.00.  The defending champs’ pitching staff looks in midseason form.  By which I mean, they all look like they could use a five day break for the All-Star Game.

Matt Barnes – 2 IP, 0 ER, ERA at 0.00.  Live with me for a second, on one team where I have Hader and Barnes, I have a 0.97 WHIP in 104 IP.  Either way, Ryan Brasier (1 IP, 0 ER) recorded his 2nd save, and this could be a 60/40 committee this year in favor of Brasier, which is surprising because a Brasier seems better suited for Holds.

Merrill Kelly – 8 IP, 1 ER, 4 baserunners, 9 Ks, ERA at 2.57.  Sonavabench!  Damn, I am getting sonavabenched left and right early on.  If Kelly was going to show something, he couldn’t have done it in his 1st start and not the one vs. the Sawx?  Alas, Streamonator likes Kelly’s next start, and I could see streaming him.

Adam Conley – 0 IP, 1 ER and the loss, ERA at 5.40, as he got the save on Saturday, when Sergio Romo was used in a tie game.  The good news is it feels like most of the closerousels are on teams that won’t provide a ton of chances.  The bad news is I have a closer problem and picked up Conley while also owning Romo.

Walker Buehler – 5 IP, 1 ER, 5 baserunners, 4 Ks, ERA at 6.75.  Gonna try to ignore that I got sonavabenched by him and focus on the positive that he pitched well in Coors.  *after two seconds* Okay, I can’t ignore that he was on my bench!  WTF!  He couldn’t have pitched well his 1st time out so I started him here?

Max Muncy – 1-for-2, 2 RBIs and his 3rd homer, hitting .250.  That’s three more home runs than games he appeared in at this time last year, but you still drafted him this year, so why exactly do you want to drop him?

Cody Bellinger – 3-for-4, 4 runs and his 7th homer, hitting .455.  No joke, dude is goofy hot right now.

Ryan McMahon – Hit the DL with an elbow strain.  Dude can’t catch a break.  Well, he can’t, it’s a strain.  Mark Reynolds stands to see more PT, which is prolly just all right with the Rockies.  They love themselves players 5-6 years past their prime.

David Dahl – Out with what appeared to be an oblique injury.  Never would’ve seen an injury coming to Dahl.  *douses self in gasoline*  Hey, my matches are wet, can you give me a hand?

Carlos Carrasco – 5 IP, 2 ER, 7 baserunners, 12 Ks, ERA at 7.71.  Solid bounce back start vs. one of the worst teams in the history of baseball that has somehow won three games.  I see, they beat the Tigers and O’s, two other historically terrible teams.  Parity, it is just a word you need Dictionary.com to define.

Mike Clevinger – 5 IP, 0 ER, 2 baserunners, 10 Ks, ERA at 0.00.  Start everyone against the Jays.  Nah, call them the Blue Kays.

Yandy Diaz – 1-for-4 and a slam (3) and legs (1), hitting .303.  This guy is the size of a monster truck and stealing bases?  *holds handkerchief to head and faints*  I’m sorry, kind gentleperson, are you a young Ryan Braun while he was on PEDs?  I will call you Ryandy Brauniz.  Check please, that was terrible.  I possibly neglected to put Diaz in my Friday Buy/Sell because I don’t know if he’s owned in less than 50% of leagues, but I’d own Yandy in every league.

Yonny Chirinos – 5 IP, 0 ER, 3 baserunners, 5 Ks, ERA at 0.75.  I’d start anyone against his opponent yesterday, the Aints, but this is his 2nd straight solid start, and he gets the Blue Kays next.  Giddy up!

Ronald Guzman – Hit the IL and Patrick Wisdom was recalled. “The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing, like when you used $12 of FAAB to pick up Ronald Guzman.” — Socrates Burrito.

Mike Trout – 1-for-2, 2 RBIs and his 5th homer, hitting .393.  Hey, this guy could have a future!

Miguel Sano – Could begin his rehab assignment within a week, which means he could be disappointing us again within three weeks.  Bringing his brand of un-joy your way soon!

Michael Pineda – 5 IP, 2 ER, 5 baserunners, 5 Ks, ERA at 2.00.  Raise your hand if you had the cojones to start Pineda in Philly.  *keeps hand lowered, bug flies just above head, bug lands in hair and fornicates with other bugs*  How long until I can raise my hand?

Max Kepler – 2-for-4 and his 3rd homer, hitting .265, and a home run in three consecutive games.  Hot schmotato alert!

Zach Eflin – 7 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners, 5 Ks, ERA at 0.75.  I talked about wanting to write a sleeper post for Eflin in the preseason, which, brucely, is enough, amiright?  No?  Okay, but I do like him a lot.

Hector Neris – 1 IP, 0 ER and the save, ERA at 3.86.  Gabe Kapler can’t not go to Neris as his closer at least once a year.  Double negatives be damned!

Mike Fiers – 1 2/3 IP, 6 ER, ERA at 5.94 vs. Brad Peacock – 5 IP, 5 ER, ERA at 4.63.  This matchup was billed as, “This safari is so effin’ hot there’s Peacock/Fiers.”

Robbie Grossman – 3-for-5, 2 runs, 3 RBIs and his 1st homer as he hits leadoff while Ramon Laureano (2-for-4, 2 runs) hits eighth because he tried to pork Bob Melvin’s wife.

Chad Pinder – 2-for-4, 3 RBIs and his 2nd homer.  Fun fact!  Pinder was the working title for the Jodie Foster movie, The Accused.  (Now I’m going to hell; I hope you’re happy.)

Matt Moore – Left Saturday’s game with a knee sprain.  Would’ve thought he gave birth to a calf injury.  Ya know, because his nickname is Ma-Moo.

Tyson Ross – 7 IP, 1 ER, 5 baserunners, 8 Ks, ERA at 2.25.  He feels like Matt Shoemaker, Part Two.  Call him The Deucemaker!   I liked Tyson Ross in the preseason, and own him.  It’s a deep league, however, and I would use the Streamonator for him.

Shane Greene – 1 IP, 0 ER and his 7th save, ERA at 0.00.  S.G. putting the s’s and g’s in SAGNOF.

Lucas Giolito – 4 1/3 IP, 5 ER, ERA at 5.73.  Here’s his great 1st start moving into this start:  “Man, this chocolate-covered peanut butter cup is great.”  *looks up to see a naked butt squatting above the plate*  Your Reese’s is feces.

Daniel Vogelbach – 3-for-4, 6 RBIs and his 3rd and 4th homer, and four homers in the last four games.  Sign I have too many teams:  I went to waivers to try to pick up Vogelbach and he was owned…by me!  Enough about me, because you people obviously don’t care, you ingrates!  I would grab Vogelbach in every league in case this is his breakout.  If nothing else, he’s a definite hot schmotato.

Tim Anderson – 4-for-5, 1 run, hitting .560.  He’s so hot he could singlehandedly defrost Ted Williams’ head.

Alex Reyes – Optioned to Triple-A.  The Cards optioned down Reyes because they can’t option down their entire bullpen, and thought Reyes could send up some tips for the other guys.

Matt Strahm – 5 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners, 2 Ks, ERA at 7.04.  Better than his 1st start, but two Ks is super bleh and I’m not going back in yet on Strahm.  Let the boys be boys!

Chris Paddack – 3 2/3 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunners (4 BBs), 4 Ks, ERA at 1.04 vs. Michael Wacha – 5 2/3 IP, 1 ER, 11 baserunners (8 BBs), 7 Ks, ERA at 1.54.  Since neither pitcher is known for wildness and they had 12 walks combined, I’m going with they were getting squeezed like an ingénue near Harvey Weinstein.

Sean Newcomb – 7 IP, 2 ER, 6 baserunners, 2 Ks, ERA at 1.64.  This start was against the Marlins, so I’m not drawing any major conclusions, but the Streamonator does love his next start.  So, wouldn’t hate if you went with the Newc’lear option.

Dansby Swanson – 2-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 3rd homer, hitting .346.  Him and Moncada racing to catch up with their hype.

Freddie Freeman – 2-for-4 and his 1st homer, hitting .419, and hitting over-.400 in the last week with one homer.  See what I did there?  It’s still early!

Caleb Smith – 6 IP, 3 ER, 6 baserunners, 7 Ks, ERA at 4.09.  Was a bit of a gnarly matchup in Atlanta, but he showed why I like him the best out of all the Marlins’ starters, and own him in my RCL league (12-team mixed).

Arodys Vizcaino – 1 IP, 1 ER, ERA at 2.25 as he was the escape goat.  Mean’s while, Craig Kimbrel picked up his phone, thinking it was ringing, but his wife was listening to Young Lust by Pink Floyd.

Josh Hader – 2 2/3 IP, 0 ER, 3 Ks, ERA at 0.00 and his 5th save.  I hope Hader’s not married to having an arm, because the two and two-thirds inning save is the Widowmaker.

Willson Contreras – 1-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 3rd homer, hitting .364.  A depressed guy saddles up to the bar, “Let me get one ‘Drafted Contreras in 2018.'”  A bartender, wiping a glass out with a towel, replies, “We’re only serving ‘Drafted Sanchez in 2018’ today.”

Kyle Hendricks – 4 IP, 4 ER, ERA at 6.48.  The Cubs and Red Sox are going to be facing off in a one-game playoff in October to decide who gets the 1st pick in next year’s amateur draft.

Jason Heyward – 0-for-3, but, on Saturday, he had a double slam (2, 3) and double legs (1, 2), which hasn’t happened for the Cubs since 1906.  Baseball was a different game in 1906.  Players wore their protective cups, not on their groins, but on their faces, to avoid the plague, and players had caddies, similar to what you see in golf.  A baseball caddy would stand three feet behind the batter at the plate and describe the action.  This later became the announcer.  Any hoo!  Heyward was on my bench for his historic game…*opens window, plunges out window, falls three feet down into a rose bush*….Goddamn, that hurts!  Maybe Heyward has finally figured out where his once-prodigous power and speed has gone, and tapped it.  In that case, I would grab him.

Trevor Williams – 6 IP, 3 ER, 7 baserunners, 3 Ks, ERA at 2.25.  Elias Sports Bureau said this is the first time Trevor Williams gave up earned runs since last June, or thereabouts.  Elias phoning it in this year!

Josh Bell – 2-for-3, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 2nd homer, hitting .310.  If you don’t think Saberhagenmetrics exist, ask the guy who just saddled up to the bar with the 2018 owners of Contreras and Sanchez, ordering a ‘Drafted Josh Bell in 2018.’

Adam Frazier – 2-for-4, 2 runs and his 1st homer, hitting .333, and a caught stealing, which is more there than here, but I like that he’s thinking about steals.  Bit schmotatoey, bit just solid-overall-if-boring performer.  (This is a super, exciting build-up for him, huh?)

Anthony DeSclafani – 4 1/3 IP, 6 ER, ERA at 6.75.  He wants to be called Tony Disco.  Well, disco is dead.

Scott Schebler – 2-for-4 and his 1st homer, hitting .138.  Now he just needs to hit 25 more and it will make sense why he’s the one player I drafted in every league.

Derek Dietrich – 2-for-4, 4 RBIs and his 2nd and 3rd homer, hitting .278.  After he homered, he must’ve thought he was auditioning for the mash-up of A Christmas Story and Hustle & Flow, because he pimped the homer while lamping.  However, Chris Archer (6 IP, 3 ER, 7 baserunners, 7 Ks, ERA at 2.45) must’ve been listening to 50 Cent’s Get Dietrich or Die Tryin’ because, in Dietrich’s next at-bat, Archer threw behind him and the benches cleared and Yasiel Puig (0-for-2, hitting .133) got his 5th, 6th and 7th hits on the season.  I thought Puig was a licker, not a fighter.

 
  1. P says:
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    Awesome write up! Brasier or Swazark for saves?

    Thanks!

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      Brasier for me

      • kilkennybrian says:
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        For saves? Swarzak May be the solo closer in SEA, Brasier at best is the bulk guy. Swarzak for me on saves alone.

        • Donkey Teeth

          Donkey Teeth says:
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          Its close for me but I think Brasier is actually good and not so sure about swarzak. That said, they’re both getting saves right now so cant knock either too hard…

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Thanks! Gonna go Swarzak, but it’s a tossup

  2. Brian says:
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    With E5 at DH, bruce at 1st, Domingo/smith/haniger in the of…where does vogelbach play and get enough abs?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Assuming you’re not dropping anyone that worthwhile, he’s an upside play… Has limited PT right now

    • cg says:
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      I’d imagine, like tonight Vogel sees most at bats vs RHP and Domingo, Haniger, Edwin, Bruce and Vogel all sit on occasion vs LHP. I think that was the plan early in the year as well, but Ichiros two games made it seem like they weren’t going to go that route when in reality that was just because they had to play Ichiro.

  3. toolshed says:
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    Worried about happ too. Has been so good and undervalued until i finally own him. He could even go 5 vs the O’s in both starts. He is 36 and maybe this is the year he falls off of the cliff. Not too many pitchers age like verlander.

    Quintana! He has been a dumpster fire for 2 years. Cut him in a 14 teamer for m kelly?

    Schoop looks like a trainwreck too. Is he a cut or should I hold. Was looking at vogelbach or tapia if Dahl is out and he probably will be fir a while with an oblique. Thanks

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      I’d give Quintana one more start but wouldn’t blame you for making the move…

    • peacecoast says:
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      yes cut for kelly

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      For R. Kelly? I’m holding Quintana for another start… I’d hold Schoop for now

  4. Blue Devil says:
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    Would you drop Barnes or T. Williams?

    T. Glasnow and J. Musgrove are available in the league. 8 team H2H 5X5

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      Both

      • Blue Devil says:
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        Here are the pitchers available in the league.

        Chirinos, Eflin, Glasnow, German, Rodon, Keller, Musgrove, Kikuchi, Ross, Paddack. If I drop Barnes and T. Williams, which two would you pick up?

        H2H, 8 team 5×5

        Thanks.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Williams for Glasnow — your league is shallow, play matchups

  5. Blue Devil says:
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    Would you make this trade?

    I would trade:
    Jose Berrios, Min SP
    Victor Robles, Wsh CF

    I would get:
    Justin Verlander, Hou SP
    Eloy Jimenez, CWS LF

    8 team H2H 5X5

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      Yes

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Agree with DT

  6. Roll of SAGNOF, Hear my cry says:
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    I traded Josh Hamilton and Homer Bailey for Chris Davis and Max Scherzer in Chris Davis’s breakout season. Was that 2013?

    Wow what times.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Haha

  7. Vash says:
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    JD Davis….what do you think so far? Pick up?

    Where can he play once Lawrie Comes back?

    • Cram It says:
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      He’s not seeing everyday at bats.

      • Vash says:
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        I’m enchanted with his exit velocity…. But no pt.

        I am not sure if it will happen, but I guess no point grabbing him until something happens more definitive.

        No place to play once Lowrie and Frazier come back…I can see him playing ahead of Frazier, but not Lowrie who was their “Big Fish.”

        • Cram It says:
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          He’s worth a look if he gets PT, or if your bench is deep enough that you can platoon him.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Agree with Cram

  8. muskysmell says:
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    1) So last year, Dansby Swanson hit 14 hrs but 7 of them came in the last 55 games. This year he’s continued to mash. But this time he’s not only continuing to hit for power, his walks and K’s are dead even showing some maturity at the plate (albeit limited sample size, but still a great sign).

    This kid is a former #1 draft pick and a former Top 5 MLB prospect. He’s always profiled to be an advanced hitter and at 25, I can see the power being legit. He should be an insta-add in all leagues just in case this could be a true breakout.

    2) I have to start 2 of the 3, who you got?

    Tyler Glasnow @ CHW
    Eduardo Rod vs BAL
    Miles Mikolas vs LAD, @CIN (in Mexico)

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      1) Nah, not an insta-add in all leagues. Should be better options in shallow leagues still, but Dansby does head to Coors this week so he’s a good option regardless.

      2) Glasnow, Mikolas for me

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      1. I’m adding him 2. Glasnow, Ed-Rod

  9. Ante Galic says:
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    Grey!!!

    Great write-up, recap, everything!

    a. Gary did me in, 3X. It’s like Jim Morrison said – ‘Love me one time, could not speak. Love me two times, yeah my knees got weak. Love me three times, Oh, man. Gary has done you in.’

    b. Need to shore my pitching and boost Ks. Any good way to do that? Last year I lucked on to Verlander and he was a K machine. Was hoping Paxton would be Verlander 2018 in 2019. You know who is Verlander 2018 in 2019? Verlander 2019.

    c. Man, I’ve got Dahl, Story, Beckham and I don’t know who else potentially on the IL with only 1 IL spot left. Another 3 weeks for TreaT. Man, I hope you’re wrong about Dahl and the oblique.

    d. Abbott and Costello quote of the day for April 8

    Forefathers (four fathers) sketch

    [after walking into an old beat-down cabin]
    Wilbert (Lou Costello): How could my kin folks ever live in a joint like this?
    Al Stewart (Bud Abbott): Probably your forefathers lived here.
    Wilbert (Lou Costello): I beg your pardon?
    Al Stewart (Bud Abbott): I said probably your forefathers lived here before you.
    Wilbert (Lou Costello): My four fathers?
    Al Stewart (Bud Abbott): Yes.
    Wilbert (Lou Costello): I didn’t have four fathers.
    Al Stewart (Bud Abbott): Sure, you did.
    Wilbert (Lou Costello): If I did, only one came home nights.

    Cheers,
    Ante

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      A. Damn B. Haha C. So do I D. Nice!

  10. Hebrew Hammer says:
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    Great recap!

    I’m in 16 team h2h dynasty league, so Waivers are thin

    My outfield: Dahl, Trout, Winker (stink eye for playing time), DOMINGO, Cedric Mullins and Goodrum to fill in as needed.

    Winker, Mullins and Winker look like issues, playing time, injuries, etc..

    I have enough cash for 3 FAs rest of season.

    Available : Jay Bruce, Kiermaier, Dietrich, Shin Shoo Choo Choo, Dominic Smith, etc..

    Too soon to pull the trigger?
    If not who should i target?

    Thanks

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      Are you saying you only have money for 3 guys for ROS? If so I’d hold off…

      If not, Kiermaier and Bruce for Winker and Mullins sounds good.

      • Hebrew Hammer says:
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        That’s right. Only perk, team with most 30 point players per week gets $30 bonus

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Thanks! Hold for now

  11. aardvark says:
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    Drop happ for max fried, Matt Boyd, Corbin Burnes, Gausman Or Trevor Williams?

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      I’d probably hold a little longer but fine with making the Boyd swap also.

      • peacecoast says:
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        boyd