Please see our player page for Anthony Rendon to see projections for today, the next 7 days and rest of season as well as stats and gamelogs designed with the fantasy baseball player in mind.

There are those who would call for Yordan Alvarez to be a top-50 player already. With 27 combined HRs this season and 78! 78! 78! RBI in 60 games between AAA and the big leagues — I get that. I’m just a little hesitant due to his playing time. When George Springer comes back and the rest of the Astros get healthy will he stay up? I hope so because he is crushing the ball right now — but he has minor league options left and is still only a 22-year-old kid. Age is just a number though as this kid’s potential has MVP written all over it in one of the best lineups in baseball.

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For Mother’s Day, all MLB players use pink bats.  On Father’s Day, all bats should be painted to resemble penises.  I try to convince MLB of this every year, and every year I’m met with awkward silence.  Another Father’s Day, another year MLB didn’t take my suggestion for an, uh, equipment update.  How about they use the pink bats again, but with hanging scrotum on the knobs? They could at least call all home runs on Father’s Day “dongs,” or if the player is over the age of 35, then they’re long balls.  These are not big fixes I’m asking them to do.  So, Edwin Encarnacion took his long balls (see?!) to the Yankees (unintentional pun, but still worthwhile).  Turns out the Home Run Parrot on Edwin’s shoulder is a better agent than Kimbrel’s.  “Polly want 15%.”  This made me chuckle:  reporters on Saturday suggesting the new potential Yankees’ lineup had Edwin Encarnacion penciled in as a question mark like he was some mystery-flavor Dum-Dum.  It’s because Encarnacion doesn’t really make sense for the Yankees — is he the DH? (Voit? Judge? Stanton?)  1st base? (LeMahieu) — but they’ll find room for him since he was the AL leader in home runs.  Clint Frazier was sent to the minors, as he awaits a trade; this will completely kill Gio Urshela’s value, and might hurt DJ LeMahieu’s, as well.  With Giancarlo and Judge returning, Gardner’s about to become the 4th outfielder, Maybin’s gonna get DFA’d and Aaron Hicks better make sure he doesn’t slump or he’s going to be benched too.  Of course, all of this becomes moot when Judge, Stanton and Edwin all get hurt this week.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

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Chris Archer (6 IP, 7 ER, ERA at 5.73) allowed four homers to the first five hitters he faced in the 2nd inning.  The only way things could look worse for Chris Archer and, specifically the Pirates, is if Austin Meadows hit all four homers wearing different colored sombreros.  “Hola!  I am Austin Prairieritto!”  “Hola!  I am Tijuana Meadows!”  “Hola!  I am Roberto Hernandez!”  “Hola!  Imagine my exclamation marks are in the front of my sentences but upside down!”  Okay, I’m Daffy like a duck talking about a Spanish Meadows when it was the Braves who mollywhopped Archer.  A Spanish Robert Loggia, “Archer is a pitcher that don’t throw straight.”  As I said yesterday, it’s not whether the record of four straight hitters with a home run is going to fall this year, it’s only how soon and with how many homers total.  8 straight hitters with a homer?  9?  12?  Yesterday, Brian McCann (2-for-4, 4 RBIs) hit his 4th and 5th homer, going Yardo Montalban hitting them where da plane da plane goes.  Josh Donaldson (1-for-4) hit his 9th homer, managing to control his Hulk-smash anger until the appropriate time — at the DMV.  Nick Markakis (1-for-2, 2 runs) hit his 6th homer for his 2nd Sparkakis in two days, and Ozzie Albies (1-for-3, hitting .270) hit his 10th homer, 3rd in two games.  ProContractsAreWhatWeKnow dot com said Albies earned $17.87 between homers.  Albies looks like he’s come out of his May funk, but he still has no place to move up in the lineup.  Well, maybe he can replace Austin Riley, whose average has dropped eighty points in a week.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

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Well, I did it. I removed Jose Ramirez from my top 100 hitters rankings. He played another 5 games and only managed 2 hits. 2 runs? Sure. 4 RBI? Sure. 1 SB? Sure. But when he is hurting you this bad he is permanently in the limbo that is ranking #101. I am fully prepared to rocket him up the rankings if he turns it around — but right now? He is the wonderful 101.

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Last week here’s what I said about Austin Riley: “A lot of people were calling for Austin Riley to make his rankings debut after hitting 5 HRs in his first 9 games, but I’m a little wary of rookies. Especially rookies who have a 15:2 K/BB ratio in their last 33 ABs. Pitchers are already starting to figure him out.”

Well, another 3 games played since last week’s rankings and he’s crushed another 2 HRs — however — with another 3 Ks. In his 15 games played so far he’s only not struck out in 2 games. Riley was a top 30 prospect heading into this season and so far the power potential (three 19+ HR seasons in the minors) is showing up, but so is the strikeout potential (8 consecutive minor league seasons with a 20+% K/rate.)  Look, he’s 22. He can crush, but he can also miss. I’ve put him at 99 for now — one spot above Jose Ramirez — and I’ll be watching his progress.

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#100. One hundred. Benjamin Franklin. C-note. One hunnit (RIP Nipsey Hussle.) That’s where you’ll find Jose Ramirez this week. Last week he was sitting at a no-so-nice #69 and he had another awful week: 6 games, 20 ABs, 4 hits, 0 runs, 0 HRs, 0 RBI, 0 SB. Sorry Ramirez fans — his season line: 193 ABs, 17 runs, 4 HRs, 15 RBI, 12 SBs, .197 is not a top-100 player anymore. However, this might be a perfect buy low opportunity since Ramirez is an avid Razzballer and doesn’t want to find himself missing from the most controversial column on the site.

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I really hope the O’Reilly Auto parts jingle is stuck in your head for the rest of the day like it’s been for me since I thought of the title. Damn you Austin Riley. Damn you shitty commercial. Talk about picking up right where he left off in AAA. Austin Riley has sprinted out of the gates in the race for National League Rookie of the Year. He’s got a lot of ground to make up if he’s going to catch Chris Paddack, but he’s certainly giving it the ole Major League try. In 38 plate appearances he has exactly 38 points. For those of you that don’t have a calculator nearby, that’s one point every time he steps into the batters box. And for those of you that are wondering if that’s good, well it’s better than good. As Tony the Tiger often said, it’s grrrrrreat! It’s only been 38 plate appearances, but if it’s any consolation, through 144 plate appearances in Gwinnett he tallied 156 points (1.08 PPPA). If he can come anywhere near close to keeping this up, he’s going to make Atlanta fans and fantasy owners extremely happy. Keep an eye in your rear view mirror Chris Paddack.

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To the Muppet Show theme song, “It’s time to face the music!  It’s time to say Asdrubal Cabrera is all right!  It’s time to meet the Rangers on the Rangers show tonight!”  Asdrubal Cabrera went 2-for-4 and his 8th and 9th homer, hitting .222.  Guess you can say that was an Asdouble homer night!  Give me some skin up in the air!  No?  Okay.  Asdrubal went cold the past three weeks after having a hot two weeks prior, and it sounds like I’m writing his autobiography.  So, finally he said to his 4th grade gym teacher, “I will be someone one day,” and that teacher was Hunter Pence, who also hit a home run, his 9th as he hits .307.  Pence aka The Gangly Manbird aka the Zombino aka the inflatable wavy guy outside of a used car lot has six homers in the past 11 games.  He sure doesn’t stink, but you know who does?  Rougned Odor (1-for-4, 3 RBIs, hitting .169) hit his 7th homer.  Odor…Odor…Odor…Odor…*my back is pressed against a giant gym sock*…Odor!  Seriously, you know when 25 homers is not feasible?  When it comes with a .170 average. Pick up the pace, Odor, you odorous piece of pond scum!  All of this offense was plenty for Mike Minor (6 IP, 1 ER, 7 baserunners, 11 Ks, ERA at 2.51).  Nope, he’s not pitching as well as his ERA indicates, but at a certain point you have to say to yourself, “Do I want some flashy FIP, which I don’t even fully understand, or do I want to win my league?”  But those runs were only barely enough for Clocks singer, Chris Martin (1 IP, 3 ER, ERA at 4.66). Bring back the South African dictator, Leclerc, which I say quietly to myself, so no one gets the wrong impression. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

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There were many big movers and shakers in the Top 100 this week perhaps none bigger this year (and maybe the past few years) than Josh Bell. Bell has slapped a hit in all but 9 of his 42 games so far this season. In 15 May games alone he’s hitting .383 with 12 runs, 6 HRs, and 18 RBI. (Writer update: since I started writing this, Bell has crushed another 2 HRs and 4 RBI tonight!) Bell keeps this up and he could be in top 20-25 territory.

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I remember fondly my pickling phase of years ago when I went ahead and pickled just about everything.  Pickled eggs, pickled garlic, pickled…pickles. Fast forward 3 years and all those jars are still sitting on the shelf and I’m fearful of any of them breaking a seal and releasing their rancid smell on the house.  To be fair, I did eat the pickles, but I was definitely fearful of the eggs. That transitions seamlessly to my favorite pitcher of the night, Griffin Canning ($6,800).  Canning gets to face the Royals at home tonight and I’m lining my shelves and praying to not get a stinker.  It’s been a bit of a roller coaster to start Canning’s major league career with 3 runs in 4 innings, 2 runs in 5 innings and 4 runs and 4 walks in 4 innings.  One thing has remained constant though and that is the strikeouts (6,7,6). That works out to about 12 K/9. Yum! That’s the equivalent of some fine homemade dills.  As long as we can avoid the spoiled pickled eggs, we’ll be good.

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