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The Donk and Don are back talking sausage and baseball again this week. Off the top they discuss the fresh signing of Craig Kimbrel with the Chubbies along with B_Don’s recent trade of Kimbrel for Noah Syndergaard in the RCL Perts League. How much risk is there with Kimbrel after missing the first 10 weeks of the season? The guys also discuss whether there’s reason for concern with Chris Paddack and Trevor Bauer moving forward.

In the profiles segment, DT breaks down rookie unknown Zach Plesac while B_Don takes a close look at Nicky Pee-pants Pivetta. There’s a lot to like about both of these youngsters, but one of them provides a decidedly higher floor; find out which!
The show is rounded out with some rapid fire pick ups for 10-12 team leagues as well as deeper formats, including Jay Bruce, Garrett Cooper, Ramon Laureano, Bryan Reynolds, Alex Reyes, Scott Kingery, Luis Urias, Jon Duplantier, Trevor Richards, Willy Adames and many more. This June sausage is extra plump, put some in your mouth and ears now!
Please, blog, may I have some more?

This weekend Jay Bruce was traded to the Phillies, because, as the front office in Philly put it, “We’re sick of our autocorrect writing Bruce Harper.  Now we write Bruce Harper and rather than backspacing we can just continue on and we’ve typed out two-thirds of our outfield.  Next we have to try to get Michael Chavis, for our issue with the autocorrect Michael Franco.”  Guys and five girl readers, the Phillies have a plan!  This move also kills two birds with one stone since now Bryce Harper will look so much better by comparison.  Before, “Man, Bryce stinks.”  After, “Man, Bruce stinks.”  Autocorrect and by comparison — done and done!  This likely puts David Herrera’s time all but done on the Phils and maybe baseball until the Astros take a chance on him.  Yes, Odubel’s real name is David, which is now what we, like the cops, call him.  As for Bruce, this is a boost up for him, due to park and lineup.  Now he’s a 30-homer hitter with a .225 average and better runs and RBIs.  Can I get a middle-case yay?  Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

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Subliminally, I nod my whenever Reynaldo Lopez is mentioned.  It’s a disease similar to Jimmy Legs; it’s called Lo-Pez Head.  Yesterday, my Lo-Pez Head nodded for all the good he was doing (6 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunenrs (3 BBs), 14 Ks, ERA at 6.03).  Lopez faced Murmurer’s Row of Detroit and sent them down, down, down, down–how many downs is that?  4 downs at three downs per down, that’s still only 12 downs and he had 14.  Damn, that’s too many Ks for even the Alt-Right Sox.  Usually Reynaldo Lopez rattles off a bag of Dick Poles.  Am I now interested?  Do I look *makes nutter rolly finger motion on side of head*?  He was once a big-time prospect with a mid-90s MPH fastball that can hit straight-boing type levels.  I see his current 11.2 K/9 and get weak in the knees, can barely speak, but his 4.9 BB/9 is his usual Pitfall Harry and his 5.47 xFIP doesn’t scream confidence like a man with 100-point font.  I’d continue to view him as a streamer for now.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend for fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Ron Swanson: Lover of meat, woodworking, hunting, whisky, and breakfast foods. Also, a promising rookie pitcher for the Seattle Mariners. That’s Erik Swanson, dummy. Who keeps inviting the random italicized voice and why is it so condescending?

Donkey Teeth and B_Don discuss the ins and outs of young Erik Swanson’s game, only hours prior to Swanson’s second major league start against the San Diego Padres. They then take a look at an early pitching breakout candidate, Matt (Matthew?) Boyd. Can these guys please stop changing their names on us already?
In the final segment, a bunch of hot pickup names are flipped around, fresh off the grill: Cole Tucker, Michael Chavis, Renato Nunez, Hunter Dozier, Mike Soroka, Mike Tauchman, Jesus Luzardo, and Alex Reyes, just to name more than a few. Grab your sausage and prepare for pleasuring on this week’s episode of the world’s #1 fantasy sausage podcast.
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Yesterday, Gary Sanchez went 3-for-6, 6 RBIs with his 4th, 5th and 6th homer, hitting .258.  “Thanks,” said Gary Sanchez’s owner from 2018, and I believe he was being sarcastic. You know how when you’re walking on the sidewalk and try to avoid stepping on the cracks because of the harm it will cause to your mother’s back?  Then as you’re OCD-stepping around the cracks, you get off-step and start only stepping on cracks, and your mom texts you, “My back!”  That’s what it must feel like for Sanchez’s 2018 owners.  I know how you feel because that’s how it feels right now for me with Rougned Odor.  I’m out in 2018 when Odor is decent, then in for this year’s abomination.  When I’m supposed to avoid, I don’t and, when I’m supposed to be in on them, I’m not.  FMFBBL!  If you have Sanchez, well done, it looks like you’re back in for the good Gary.  “Did someone say ‘back?'”  Sorry, mom!  Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

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Garrett Hampson is hitting .053 with seven strikeouts in 19 plate appearances. With injuries to Daniel Murphy and Ryan McMahon, owners figured Hampson would at least get regular reps at second and maybe work his way out of the slump. Not so fast. Enter Pat Valaika. He got the start over Hampson at second yesterday. I like Hampson and I own him in a couple of leagues, but I’m running out of patience. In redrafts, I’d move on. In keepers, you might want to give him a longer lead. Here’s what else is happening in prospect news…

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This is the “obvs!” edition of minor accomplishments. Most of this news shouldn’t be news to you, but several prospects saw their redraft stock fluctuate in the past seven days. Nick Senzel got the double whammy. First, he gets sent down to the minors. Then the Reds host an ill-timed ‘Bring Your Banana Peels To The Park Day’ and he rolls his ankle. That’s no way to run an organization if you ask me. Senzel was almost a sure bet when the Reds announced he’d be in the running for the center field gig. Then Scooter got injured, so certainly he’d at least make the roster. Nope! The Reds said, “Louisville is nice this time of year and we’re going to manipulate your service time like a homeless guy trying to fish a quarter out of a pay phone change return.” The good news is Senzel (if healthy) should be up as soon as late April. Here are a few other prospect-eligible players who have gained or lost this week.

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Jose Ramirez fouled a ball off his knee and was carted off the field.  *long, painful swallow*  Say what now?  Thankfully, it turned out Jose Ramirez simply has a knee contusion and was carted off the field because he had reached his steps for the day.  *claps hands*  “Okay, guys, call me a cab, my FitBit says I’m done-zo.”  That’s Jose Ramirez once he reaches 10,000 steps.  I hear ya, Jo-Ram!  I once sat down on an escalator because I had reached my “floors” for the day.  I’m not over-exercising and dying young.  Nuh-uh!  You don’t mess with age expectancy.  I’m already down on Ramirez in a non-sexual way, so this doesn’t change my stance on him, and, if you like him, it doesn’t sound like it should change your feelings either, since he appears healthy.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw in spring training for fantasy baseball:

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Domingo Santana (1-for-5 with a grand slam) is already in beast mode.  That beast is a dingo, emphasis on ding, as in dinger, and you can’t spell Domingo without dong, but this dingo eats dongs not babies, and I’ve got smoke coming out my ears….We have real baseball!  Then, tomorrow we won’t have real baseball again for a week.  MLB is so crackers it’s staying at the Ritz by the water, Cheez-it, Mary and Joseph!  “Happy Opening Day two days later,” said the Time Zone to the Baseball Fan.  I can’t wait to see how Mike Fiers (3 IP, 5 ER) and Marco Gonzales (6 IP, 3 ER, 8 baserunners, 4 Ks) react to pitching in a game, then taking a 56-hour plane flight home to pitch again in a week.  Their combined 89 MPH fastballs are gonna have some jet lag.  Hopefully, their elbows won’t.  The Stream-o-Nator wasn’t thrilled with either pitcher, and neither was great.  Yes, the Stream-o-Nator is back!  The only real takeaway I have from these games is the A’s are at least thinking similarly to me, and that Ramon Laureano (0-for-5, 3 Ks) is the best man for the A’s leadoff job.  I’ll toast to that!  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday for fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Auction drafting reminds me of playing poker. Having a plan of attack, choosing the right hand to play, and then subsequently winning the hand while finding out that you could’ve made a lot more money if you had played it correctly. If you’re patient enough, play the rights hands and stick to the calculations, it’ll work out to your benefit more often than not, but are you that patient?

Can you let a player go under value because he’s not part of your plan? Can you avoid getting sucked into the auction and over paying for your guy? Can you avoid killing your budget faster than a college kid on spring break?

Hindsight is 20/20 and that is rarely more apparent than over the course of an auction. I don’t believe I’ve ever left an auction without regret. However, even if you don’t stick to your plan, there are ways to maneuver the auction to make your team build complete.

My plan coming into the auction was similar to my draft strategy for most of my leagues. I wanted to concentrate my bat spending on top of the order, high average, speed guys. Accomplished this with my combination of Ronald Acuna Jr. and Trea Turner. I balanced that speed with power in Edwin Encarnacion, Miguel Andujar, Justin Upton, and Max Muncy.

For my pitching, I took a more aggressive stance than normal and only wanted one ace and two established closers. I got Max Scherzer and then grabbed Edwin Diaz, Sean Doolittle, and Pedro Strop late.

Please, blog, may I have some more?