The Mets continue to move towards the future, promoting their top first base prospect, Dominic Smith. They are cautiously optimistic. Adverbly restrained because the last time they were unbridled in their enthusiasm, it was about this great deal Bernie Madoff was telling them about. Okay, let’s think back to a less cynical time. When the birds chirped, and they made you smile. When your dad carried you on his shoulders, and you were on top of the world. When you peed the bed, no one tried to commit you to rehab. People pinched your cheeks without you having to pay some stranger on Craigslist $75. A time of joy. Wonder. No Splenda. So, what can we expect from Dominic Smith? Did someone say ‘no Splenda?’ Well, it wasn’t my words (it was)! Smith looks like a 17-20 homer guy with a solid average and even better OBP. Might be a better real life player than a fantasy one. I’d take a flyer everywhere to see what he does if you need average first, which was the original America First slogan. Average First! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Matt Harvey – Will make a rehab start in Low-A Brooklyn on Saturday. Fans of the Brooklyn Hipsters will be smart to show up a few hours before the game to taste a wide array of IPAs, get a fifteen minute soul patch discovery session with a Facial Hair Expert and try artisanal sausages on gluten-free buns with a smattering of honey mustard harvested from Clifford, the last bee still able to afford rent in Brooklyn.
Wilmer Flores – 3-for-5, 3 RBIs and his 14th homer, and third homer in five days, 2nd time this week I’ve mentioned him being a schmotato and he should play over Reyes or Neil Walker (4-for-5, 3 runs with his 10th homer) even with Smith up. He’s also in this afternoon’s Buy column.
Jacob deGrom – 6 2/3 IP, 0 ER, 4 baserunners, 9 Ks. I was watching this game, and around the sixth inning, I wrote, “Glad to see deGrom avoided the Mets jinx.” Minutes later, he was struck by a line drive in his triceps. DeGrom says he’s fine, just bruised, but, as we see with Lenny Dykstra, the jinx’s shadow is long.
Curtis Granderson – 2-for-5, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 16th homer, hitting .225. Yesterday, I said with the trade of Bruce, that Granderson would be the new cleanup hitter, but that was wrong. Well, I was right, but the Mets put Grandy at leadoff.
Vince Velasquez – 1 IP, 3 ER and left early giving everyone the middle finger. Sorry, misread the news. He had a middle finger injury. But same diff if you started him.
Rhys Hoskins – 0-for-2 as he hit 7th. Pete Macktheknife said he’s going to try to play Hoskins every day. Roger that, rabbit.
Luis Castillo – 6 IP, 3 ER, 9 baserunners, 4 Ks. Not a bad line, but is it me (it’s me) or does Castillo have this exact same line in every start? It was the Padres, how about allowing less than three earned? I don’t know, just thinking out loud!
Scooter Gennett – 2-for-4, 4 RBIs and his 19th homer, hitting .294. Talking to myself, “Don’t look at whether or not Scooter’s been better than Odor. Don’t do it, Fantasy Master Lothario. It will only upset you.”
Zack Cozart – 2-for-4, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 14th homer, hitting .294. Cozart has a 16-homer threshold. If he gets 450 ABs, 575 ABs (yeah, aight), or 350 ABs, he’s going to hit 16 homers.
Eugenio Suarez – 1-for-2, 2 runs and his 20th homer, and 2nd homer in as many games, hitting .256. Every preseason, Suarez is drafted hundreds of spots after guys that end up less valuable. I’m guilty of this too. He’s never a sleeper either. He’s just forgotten. As Tribe would sing, I don’t know, man, I don’t know, man, I don’t know.
Dinelson Lamet – 5 IP, 2 ER, 6 baserunners, 5 Ks, ERA at 5.00. I wonder if Lamet’s parents ever returned to the hospital where he was born and said to the nurse, “You told us you knew how to spell Danielson! YOU’VE NEVER EVEN SEEN KARATE KID, HAVE YOU?!”
Jose Pirela – 1-for-1, 3 walks, hitting .301. I wonder if he’s going to be in this afternoon’s Buy column. I’d peek but I just bought a hundred monkeys to type it up and don’t wanna spoil the suspense!
Brad Hand – 2/3 IP, 3 ER, and his 4th blown save, ERA at 2.28. When the Padres’ manager, told his pitching coach to go out to the mound and ‘talk to the Hand,’ the pitching coach threw a chair and Jerry Springer’s bouncers had to intervene.
Giancarlo Stanton – 1-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 39th homer, hitting .275. Member when you were like Aaron Judge is gonna lead the majors in homers and I was like Giancarlo is going to and I’ve got two Chinese metal medicine balls in my hand that I’ve painted flesh-colored and named them, Giancarlo 1 and Giancarlo 2? Member that? No? Good!
Dan Straily – 5 2/3 IP, 2 ER, 5 baserunners, 2 Ks, ERA at 3.74. Was a bit of a risky start in Washington. So kudos to your flesh-colored medicine balls if you did start him. Big picture, I like him, but has been wonky on the road.
Tanner Roark – 6 IP, 2 ER, 9 baserunners (5 BBs), 4 Ks, ERA at 4.74. Fun fact! Tanner Roark has two fathers, Ricardo Montalban and George Hamilton. True fact! He’s been iffy at best this year, and his walk rate is ugly compared to previous seasons.
Brian Goodwin – 2-for-4, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and a slam (13) and legs (5), as he continues to leadoff, and I am still not buying into him. Keep waiting for the other shoe to drop, which seems antithetical to dragging one’s heels.
Willson Contreras – Cubs received good news that Contreras’ hamstring injury may only sideline him a few weeks to a month. The bad news is the doctor looking at his MRI results was a janitor that was just passing through. Alex Avila is a decent pickup if you’re struggling at catcher, and I already regret saying that.
Dexter Fowler – 2-for-4, 2 runs, 5 RBIs and his 15th homer. Fowler looks like he’s still fast, but five steals on the year in eight attempts says different. That Fowler runs around like a chicken with its head on! Ya know, because a cut off head is running crazy, so head on is not running crazy. Okay, moving on.
Lance Lynn – 6 IP, 2 ER, 11 baserunners (5 BBs), 3 Ks, ERA at 3.12 vs. Jason Hammel – 5 IP, 2 ER, 4 baserunners, 7 Ks, ERA at 4.68. This was a matchup of two guys that could easily have their ERAs reversed. Of course, NL vs. AL helps. They are essentially the argument to not put too much weight into ERA.
Trevor Cahill – Hit the DL with sucky. Unless he wakes up from a dream, and realizes he’s still in San Diego, nothing’s fixing him. Sorry, but like every heavyweight champion at some point in their life, he’s broke.
Lorenzo Cain – 4-for-5, 1 run, hitting .293. Maybe I’m seeing patterns where there isn’t any, but it seems like four-hit nights are cascading down the Royals’ lineup like the waterfalls TLC sung about.
Keon Broxton – 1-for-3 and his 16th homer. In a 12-team NL-Only league yesterday, I got five homers on a short schedule day. I mean, shizz is so juiced.
Zach Davies – 5 2/3 IP, 6 ER, ERA at 4.40. Davies has been garbage since hundreds had small faces.
Robbie Ray – Will throw a simulated game on Saturday. Swell, that’s gonna help me in my weekly league where I started him. I could do a midweek DL replacement and fill in with Chris Flexen. He’s in Philly on Sunday. Hmm, what do you think, Jef with 1 F?
David Peralta – 2-for-4, 1 RBI and his 7th steal, hitting .301. Ugh, you know I can’t quit this guy.
Chris Iannetta – 1-for-4, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 10th homer, and 2nd homer in as many games. He could hit another homer or two, but at some point soon he will fall into an 0-for-56 slump.
Chris Taylor – 1-for-4, 2 runs and his 16th homer, hitting .308. Don’t you wish your MI was hot like me, don’tcha, don’tcha.
Yu Darvish – 5 IP, 2 ER, 7 baserunners, 10 Ks, ERA at 1.50 on the Dodgers, 3.81 overall. What’s a little weird is how between innings Ryu points at Yu and says, “Are…?” Then Yu points at him and says, “Yu.”
Carlos Rodon – 8 IP, 2 ER, 9 baserunners (zero walks), 4 Ks, ERA at 4.24. Would’ve loved to see more Ks, but the matchup was tough and no walks is great from Rodon. I’m dipping my foot back into his waters. Reclaiming my Carlos! Reclaiming my Carlos!
Yoan Moncada – 2-for-5, 2 RBIs and his 2nd homer, hitting .213. I’m between him being a huge breakout next year or a huge overrated flop. I have the strong sense there’s not going to be anything in-between.
Brad Peacock – 6 1/3 IP, 1 ER, 8 baserunners, 5 Ks, ERA at 3.07. When it looked like Peacock was losing his rotation job? You should’ve likely held tight. Oopsie.
Mitch Haniger – Nearing a rehab assignment. But, with Uber nowadays, you can never be too sure.
James Paxton – 6 1/3 IP, 3 ER, ERA at 2.78, but left with a pectoral strain. This guy’s like a yearlong groundhog. Every six weeks he sees his shadow and he’s shut down for six weeks.
C.J. Cron – 2-for-3, 2 runs and his 8th homer, and 2nd homer in two games. Nope, no idea what The Sciosciapath will do with him, but I would pick him up.
Tyler Skaggs – 6 1/3 IP, 0 ER, 8 baserunners, 5 Ks, ERA at 3.63. Yes, I’d pick him up, but like a dentist might say, there’s some caveats. He can’t stay healthy; he’s risky; he has these awful starts on occasion; semi-colons are fun.
Bud Norris – 1 IP, 3 ER. And goodbye. Wish I dropped him three weeks ago, but I dropped him now. Don’t let the door hit ya where the good Lord split ya. Cam Bedrosian (1 IP, 0 ER) ended up getting the save last night, and I’d guess he’s the guy going forward.
Trey Mancini – 3-for-4 and his 19th and 20th homers. More like Deux Mancini! Right?! Huh?! No? Okay. Mancini was oh-for the week aside from one other game this week when he also homered. Could be a rising schmotato. Bit hard to still say.
Adam Jones – 2-for-4, 3 RBIs and his 21st homer. As he hit cleanup. No foolsies. An angel, let’s call him Bobby Grich, must’ve came to *uck Showalter in his sleep and told him Tim Beckham (2-for-5, 2 runs) was better at leadoff.
Mark Trumbo – 1-for-4 and his 18th homer, in his 2nd game back from the DL. Must’ve been some huge sign flashing out to his owners after his first game back, because I think I fielded more “Drop Trumbo?” questions yesterday than anything else. Guess it was the ol’ “I’ve got room on the DL for this schmohawk, but not really in my lineup.”
Danny Salazar – 5 1/3 IP, 1 ER, 11 baserunners (4 BBs), 8 Ks, ERA at 4.15. His numbers on my team since I’ve picked him up after he returned from injury: 1.42 ERA, 0.95 WHIP, 36 Ks in 25 1/3IP. Though, if we’re being honest, yesterday’s start showed some fraying and ugly K-zar started to peek through.
Jason Kipnis – Left yesterday’s game after he aggravated his hamstring. He kept calling his hamstring his quad and his hamstring was like, “Learn my name, beeyatch!”
Blake Snell – 6 1/3 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners, 4 Ks, ERA at 4.69. Usually he’s about as efficient as Googling the phone company’s number, sitting on hold, finally reaching customer service to ask them to send you a phone book because you’re looking for Google’s phone number. Yesterday, was a little better, and I’m cyclops’ing him.
Jose Bautista – 1-for-3, 2 runs and a slam (19) and legs (6), and 2nd homer in two games. What he’s doing now should not be allowed. He is setting up some poor saps next March to still draft him.
Marco Estrada – 7 IP, 0 ER, 8 baserunners, 6 Ks, ERA at 4.85. His month to month ERAs: 2.70, 3.49, 9.11, 6.48, 1.93. 9.11 is the real killer with Estrada. Giving CHiPs a bad name, too.
Aaron Hicks – 0-for-5 as he was activated from the DL, recovered from an oblique. Hmm, just as Clint Frazier heads to the DL with an oblique injury? This feels planned. But how do they plan such a thing? I’m scratching my head and am truly interested in…Sorry, I got bored mid-sentence, what was I talking about? Oh, Hicks! Yeah, I tried to pick him up in a few of my leagues, I like him if he’s playing. We’ll see. Or not. Raspberry lips.
Josh Bell – 2-for-4, 3 RBIs and his 20th homer, hitting .255. 2010 called and said, “Hey, if you come back here, you’d be the 2nd best 1st baseman in the league.” Enticing offer!
Mikie Mahtook – 2-for-4, 2 runs and his 7th homer, hitting near-.350 in the last week. I’ve been meaning to point out Mahtook as a hot schmotato. Hey, I only have two hands and a hundred monkeys! Caring for the monkeys has actually made them more trouble than their worth.
Michael Fulmer – May return next week, said Brad Ausmus. He added, ‘We don’t want to rush Hashanah him.”