The trade of Yasiel Puig, Matt Kemp, Alex Wood to the Reds means one thing, the Dodgers are signing Manny Machado or Bryce Harper. I’m kidding, in the non-funny way. Maybe it means that, but I kinda hope it doesn’t, so Muncy, Pederson and others have room to play. Not sure why the Dodgers rehired Dave Roberts, but I’m impressed the Dodgers realized that Dave Roberts had zero capacity for managing a team. “What’s he doing?” “I don’t know.” That’s two Dodgers execs watching Dave Roberts juggle three VHS copies of the movie Platoon. “I don’t think he understands what we meant when we asked him to juggle platoons.” “Yeah.” “So, we should trade Puig?” “Maybe trade like five guys.” “Okay.” So, Puig goes back to the Reds, but they’re no longer an island nation in the Caribbean. Now, they’re in Ohio. In five years, people will be like, “I forgot Puig played for the Reds for three months.” Yes, I think he’ll likely be traded in July. Either way, he will get everyday at-bats and should get a nice boost in fantasy value. The Reds were surprising solid last year on offense, and I see no reason why that would end. For 2019, I’ll give Yasiel Puig projections 73/27/83/.273/11 in 502 ABs. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this offseason in 2019 fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Please see our player page for Trevor Cahill to see projections for today, the next 7 days and rest of season as well as stats and gamelogs designed with the fantasy baseball player in mind.
Sample sizes are everything, or so I’ve heard. From other people. Not about me. I’m personally told sample sizes mean nothing. Gently reminded, as I’m also reminded, it happens to everyone. What is ‘it?’ Damn, that’s deep, which is not what I hear often when discussing sample sizes, but Tim Beckham (2-for-4, 3 RBIs) went deep twice yesterday (11th and 12th homer). I’m talking about sample sizes more than a bachelorette party because Beckham had done nothing up until yesterday’s game. At this point in the season, it’s not what has a guy done this month or past week, but what did he do yesterday and what can he do today? Two homers tell me a guy is locked in. *Beckham mimes being in a box* Perfect! I’d grab him, sample size be damned. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
In my Blake Snell sleeper post, my prescience was like the exact opposite of science applied by flat earthers around the world. Look out the plane window and it’s flat, but pull further back it’s round. In reverse, if you pull out for enough, you see I wrote a sleeper post for Blake Snell — great! — but if you zoom in closer you see everything I said in that post was far from accurate. Good from 30,000 feet, less from Altuve’s distance. I talked up Chris Archer and Jake Faria. Said Jose De Leon is ready! Only one I didn’t like was Nathan Eovaldi, who actually was solid. I went over how Snell could be great, but this good? Puh-leaze. Snell and his extended family didn’t think he’d be breathing down a sub-2 ERA in the middle of September. Most accurate thing I said, “At 25 years of age and in his third major league season while primed for his first full year of innings, is about the best time to get in on him figuring it out. After 2018, Snell is going to be a known top 20 starter and you’ll never get him cheap again.” And that’s me quoting me! Yesterday, Blake Snell went 7 IP, 1 ER, 3 baserunners (1 Hit), 9 Ks, ERA at 2.03. In the AL East! Actually, my ‘accurate’ quote might not be accurate enough, I should’ve said Blake Snell will be a top 5-10 starter in 2019 fantasy baseball. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
“Hey, Stream-o-Nator, I have a surprise for you.” The Stream-o-Nator backs up slightly, unsure of what I’m going to do to its tender robot heart. The Stream-o-Nator was born in a scrapyard run by Steven Avery’s family. Not the Making a Murderer guy, the ex-Braves pitcher. The story of how it got separated from its family is similar to Sophie’s Choice, but sadder and involves more heavy metal. Suffice it to say, the Stream-o-Nator is longing for any connection, electrical or otherwise. This brings us to yesterday’s matchup and why I sought the Stream-o-Nator. Gently approaching the 8-foot robot, “It’s a good surprise. I wanna be your friend.” The Stream-o-Nator swoons, playing Just The Two Of Us on its chest-implanted boombox. Perhaps my friendship is simply what have you done for me lately, but Andrew Heaney was enough for me to be bothered with late-night phone calls when the robot is feeling blue Raspberry Pi. Heaney went 7 IP, 0 ER, 3 baserunners, 12 Ks, lowering his ERA to 3.98. (Reynaldo Lopez wasn’t bad either — 6 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunners, 10 Ks, ERA at 4.22). For this year, due to how few starts are left, I’m looking at the Stream-o-Nator for every start, and it loves Heaney for his next start. “I’m here for you robot pal. C’mon, high-five me!” Stream-o-Nator’s arm falls off and it sighs. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
How does Franmil Reyes have such quick hand-eye coordination for a big guy? Of course, it’s due to his 20/20 over 20/20 vision. Franmil’s two-upping your vision! Franmil Reyes isn’t just a big-time power hitter, he’s also the winner of the 1st Annual Kyle Blanks Look-A-Like Pageant. You might remember Franmil’s now famous answer to the question, “California is going through a world-record drought, what would you do to solve this dilemma if you had one afternoon to spend with your doppelgänger, Kyle Blanks?” Franmil took his time, then answered, “I’d go to the tallest peak in the Rockies with Mr. Blanks and we’d make snow angels, melting more snowflakes than Fox News and that water would roll into California. I.e., This is my Fran-friction!” I lifted myself from my Furby beanbag and cheered in my man cave. Bless you, Franmil! Bless you, child! Also bless his power. His batting average will come down some with a larger sample size, but there is no larger sample size than this 7-foot, 450-pound behemoth when it comes to dongs. Sounded better in my head! If you need power, I’d grab Franmil in all leagues. Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
The September roster expansion this year was a bit of a dud. No Eloy Jimenez and no Vladimir Guerrero Jr. It’s too bad what’s best for baseball and these young players is not what is also best for their teams. Their rewards and our rewards are not aligned. It’s like going into the supermarket for pluots and they tell you, “It’s pluot season. Pluots are best this time of year. You want to eat dem pluots now so they slobber down your chin like you’re a human St. Bernard. So, we’re putting our pluots into liquid nitrogen to freeze them until mid-April of next year, and we will serve you pluots once their service time allows us to keep them an extra year.” However, the Nationals are working on a different schedule apparently because they are calling up Victor Robles, i.e., to the Victor goes the spoiled pluots. Where will Victor Robles play? Haven’t a clue, Colonel Mustard. Bryce Harper (1-for-2, 3 RBIs and his 31st homer yesterday) goes to right and Robles plays center while Adam’s Eaton the pine? Adam’s Eaton up time while Bryce goes to the bench because the Nationals know Harper is not in their future plans? Robles just plays periodically unless something goes completely sideways and the Nats will pass ‘o Robles. On Prospector Ralph’s top 500 fantasy baseball prospects, Robles is about as high a player can be who isn’t A) Not being called up this year. B) Not already called up. C) There’s no C. To give you an idea of Robles’ profile, think Starling Marte without knowing his upside. I will call you No Ceiling Marte. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Yesterday, Christian Yelich hit for the cycle, going 6-for-6, 2 runs, 3 RBIs and his 26th homer, hitting .319. Yelich has been sexier than that random porn that was released of him. Speaking of porn (always a great intro to a sentence), you know you have a cougar problem when…True story, I woke up yesterday morning and Googled to see if there ever was a movie made called, Call Me By Your Ma’am with Kimothee ChalaMILF. That feels like too much information, but I trust you with everything, except any identifying details about me in real life. Any hoo! Yelich! Are you kidding me? Keyword is kidding, because he looks like he’s 12. Yo, you super pre-teen? You in Stranger Things? We’re at the point now when I’m starting to think about 2019, and Yelich, well, is there any way he’s not top 20? Yelich or Springer? Gotta be Yelich, right? Yelich or Bregman? Okay, tough call, but damn close. He’s definitely better than Kimothee ChalaMILF! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
The rich keep getting richer and the poor get poorer. The middle is being squeezed. When I Google, “What happened to the middle class?” I found some socioeconomic theories on Yahoo Answers, and ads to get rich quick and stop having to “steal food from Whole Foods.” Okay, I have no idea how they know about that, but, if you switch a price tag, it is not exactly stealing. It’s redistributing “gummies made with real fruit juice.” All of this is fascinating and all, but I was trying to find out what is happening to the middle class of starters! Aaron Nola (8 IP, 0 ER, 6 baserunners, 9 Ks) and Max Scherzer (7 IP, 2 ER, 6 baserunners, 10 Ks) faced each other, and both pitchers have ERAs of 2.13. Not surprisingly, the police code for fantastic use of arms is 2.13. Again, there’s top starters with a sub-3 ERA, and there is a ton of starters above 4.00 ERA that I don’t want, but where are the 3.50 ERA pitchers? Doesn’t it feel like this middle class of pitchers has shrunk? *coming across something on the internet* Hmm, maybe this article by a Harvard professor in The Economist will explain it to me. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Guess I pointed you to the wrong White Sox prospect in Friday’s Buy. Hahaha, no. I didn’t. I pointed you to a top hitting prospect that can help you this year. Michael Kopech is a rookie pitcher. A boneheaded one. He used to date the daughter of the crazy white lady from The Real Housewives of Atlanta, then he started that girl from Riverdale, and I guess when I say Kopech is boneheaded, I should explain I wouldn’t mind boneheading like him. Yo dude is a baller! He’s also legit dopey. At one point, he broke his hand by punching his teammate. This guy has years of ridiculousness headed our way, and we should be grateful for that. As grateful because he’s the top pitching prospect on Prospect Ralph’s top 500 fantasy baseball prospects, and PR’s said, “Kopech is in my opinion the top ‘fantasy baseball’ pitching prospect in the game. What I mean by that is, on, say, a mainstream list (see: BA, BP, BABP, Fangraphs, etc.) they’ll focus more on the risk vs. upside balance. Me, I’m going upside, as you always should with pitching prospects in fantasy. Kopech has the potential to lead MLB in strikeouts one day, with his plus-plus triple digit fastball that runs in on righties, a plus slider that flashes plus-plus at times, and an improving changeup. Kopech has all-world stuff, unlike Grey who has all-stupid stuff.” What the hell, brah?! Real world comparison, Kopech is Syndergaard with command issues right now, but those could clear up quickly; he’s only 22. He’s a grab in all leagues, but as I said in the opening, rookie pitchers provide headaches, so expectations in Czech. (Damn, should’ve never bought that discounted Siri.) Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:
Psyche! Before we get into the roundup, just wanted to point out our fantasy football leagues are currently signing up, you have a one in three shot of winning $250 (odds may vary depending on if you’re calculating odds correctly.) Anyway II, the roundup:Please, blog, may I have some more?