If you haven’t signed up for the Razzball Patreon yet then you’ve been missing out. The 59 minutes I spend each week laughing about weird news stories with comedians Billy Hurley and Grey Albright, are easily 50 of the most entertaining minutes of my week (and 9 of the most confusing minutes when Grey gets off on a tangent about an imaginary Russian man named Ivan who wrestles sharks). Speaking of shark wrestling, we discuss this wild shark wrestling story on this week’s show:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

If you’ve been away during the MLB delay, then boy do we have a treat for you! During his quarantine days Grey has been sewing SAGNOF masks and spreading anti-hummingbird propaganda. But that’s not all, Grey and I also created the exclusive Razzball Patreon Club. For the incredibly low price of $0.16 per day (or $5 per month) you too can join the Razz Patreon Nation, laugh along with our weekly podcasts, receive Grey’s in season buy/sell columns early, win great prizes, and much more!

For the third week running we’re joined by comedian Billy Hurley to breakdown this week’s wacky news stories, including the Ukrainian man who was beaten with a sausage. Here’s a teaser clip from the first Billy Hurley episode to reel you in:

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Baseball is coming! The spring was dark and full of terror. But the Lord of Light is generous and merciful, so a 60-game baseball season will lead us out of the darkness!

I’m joined by prospect wizards, The Itch and Hobbs, on this week’s celebratory Goin’ Deep Podcast. Off the bat we discuss a few of the ins and outs of the forthcoming MLB season and what it might mean for prospects and your fantasy baseball leagues. Then we dive into the 2020 MLB Draft results as Hobbs and Itch share which teams landed their favorite draft classes and why. Later the prospectors divulge which players from the draft we might actually see up during this shortened 2020 season, including Max Meyer and Burl Carraway. Hobbs also discusses a few of the names from his Pre-Draft and Post-Draft Prospect Sleepers.

Oh and if you missed it, the Razzball Prospect Podcast is back as The Itch gave you his debut solo podcast earlier this week. Look for more prospect podcasts featuring both Hobbs and The Itch, coming soon. Play Ball!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Our Razzball Patreon Podcast from two weeks back was so good that we’ve decided to share it with the masses free of charge! If you enjoy this show, then we’d love for you to subscribe to our exclusive Patreon feed where you can enjoy all of our future Lenny Dykstra interviews and much more for the low low price of $5 per month. Here’s what Grey had to say about this show when it was originally released a week and a half ago:

“So, I didn’t expect much from this Patreon podcast, but, honestly, waking up Lenny Dykstra mid-nap to hear him say Ron Darling sucks d**k, well…I have to be honest here, this podcast is in the pantheon of nonsense. So, we get Lenny Dykstra on the show, for, I don’t know, maybe 15 minutes. He’s in the middle of napping-slash-having sex and he’s also very, very angry with Ron Darling, but, other than that, it was a totally normal conversation where I say 1993 Phillies players names and Lenny says whether or not they did drugs with him. Ya know, standard stuff.

Then Donkey Teeth and I dive into how my grandfather picked up a girl in the last week during a pandemic and she’s now moved in with him. Again, this is normal stuff. He’s only 92 years old with more game than any of you. Next up (this is likely totally out of order), we talk about my love for Normal People on Hulu. There’s no spoilers to say I think it’s the best show of 2020. It’s at least better than the shitshow that is the world. Finally, we discuss MLB’s plans to return and Blake Snell’s channeling of Vanilla Ice during contract negotiations. Maybe Vanilla should’ve had Blake Snell talk to Suge Knight about Ice, Ice Baby song rights. Who’s to say? Then we pimp the YouTube fantasy football show that Donkey and Boof started. Bless them and everyone who listens to this Patreon podcast. It’s five dollars per month to sign up, and every bit helps right now. Also, you can help us by subscribing to our Ad-free site.” And that’s a jackass quoting a lothario. Enjoy the show!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

The slew of emails from every business under the sun regarding their comprehensive COVID-19 protocol continued this past week. I was on pins and needles wondering how Jiffy Lube, Bob’s Discount Furniture and Cledus’s Used Cars might handle this terrible crisis. Now I can finally rest easy. Anyway, you’re probably tired of hearing about this virus stuff that’s ruining all of our lives. So let’s shift our attention over to one of my fantasy drafts which was only slightly more interesting than that bulletin detailing how often the garbage man is washing his hands. Last week you got Grey’s RazzSlam recap aka Pete Alonso love letter. Now here’s my RazzSlam, 12-team best ball points league draft recap:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

The RazzSlam fan lottery odds were slimmer than Grey Albright on his twenty day juice cleanse. Please eat some food already, Grey! Anyway, hundreds of fans signed up for the 54 precious spots to compete against 162 of the top fantasy baseball industry analysts in all the land. Those spots have been filled and the 18 inaugural RazzSlam drafts are now underway. But if you didn’t get lucky in the lottery, don’t fret, there’s still time to get lucky in your mom’s basement. The 2021 RazzSlam Qualifier is now open for business. Here’s everything you need to know about the qualifier (or you can just blindly sign up for FREE thru this RazzSlam Qualifier link):

Please, blog, may I have some more?

When I first brought the idea of a large industry best ball competition with fan participation into Grey’s office he said, “Damnit Cougs, stop letting Donkey into the house! He’s getting mud all over my panda rug again!” Then I brought the idea to Rudy who spent the next week developing algorithms and running millions of simulations to determine if it was a worthwhile endeavor. On the seventh day the RazzSlam Bot saw it’s shadow. And so the RazzSlam came into being. What exactly is the RazzSlam? I’m glad you ask…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

The Beat Grey Albright NFBC league filled up so quickly that the NFBC folks (you can still use promo code: Razzball25 and get $25 off at NFBC—sign up for a Draft Champions or Cutline Championship League today!) decided to create a second league where 14 unlucky fans got a chance to take on the Donkey who poops in Grey Albright’s backyard. So much has happened since this Donkey draft started on November 22nd and completed, 750 picks and 18 days later, on December 10th: Gerrit Cole signed with the evil empire for *pinkie to mouth* ONE BILLION DOLLARS, Anthony Rendon now calls Los Angeles or Anaheim or wherever home, the White Sox locked up prized prospect Luis Robert for six years, the Astros took cheating to whole new levels and I fell off my roof seven times while putting up and taking down Kwanzaa lights. Fortunately, the roof of my barn isn’t very high off the ground so I only stubbed a hoof. Anyway, here’s my NFBC Draft Champions errrr, draft recap:

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Have you heard of the RazzSlam? Rhetorical question. Of course you’ve heard of the RazzSlam. It’s only the biggest thing to happen to fantasy baseball since Grey Albright interviewed Jose Canseco. Which was not only the greatest interview in the history of fantasy sports, but arguably the greatest interview in the history of the multiverse. As for the RazzSlam, there’s no shame in being the #2 fantasy baseball event in history.

Before I signed up for the RazzSlam, girls didn’t want to be near me and guys didn’t want to be me. Then I signed up for the RazzSlam—the sign-up is at the bottom of this page if you’re impatient—and everything changed. I was suddenly knee deep in chicks. Like Frank Thomas after he started taking Nugenix. Anyway, for those few poor souls who are just now discovering the RazzSlam, here’s what you’ll want to know:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

All the hard work is finally culminating after countless all-nighters at Razzball Headquarters scheduling inspiration sessions and using interns as footrests while watching The O.C.  So much culmination going on over here. Anyway, I’m pleased to announce Razzball will be partnering with the kind folks at The NFBC to bring you a legendary fantasy baseball contest. A happening which will go down with the Agricultural Revolution, the Treaty of Versailles, and the invention of yoga pants, among the greatest events in human history: The RazzSlamWhat is the RazzSlam and how does this Donkey still have a job after ranking Kikuchi #26 among starting pitchers in 2019? I’m glad you ask, random italicized voice.

Please, blog, may I have some more?